


200 years later...

by Rivaille960



Series: Wanderers of the Wastes [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Attempted Murder, Brotherhood of Steel - Freeform, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Loss, Fivesome - F/M/M/M/M, Fluff and Angst, Foursome - F/M/M/M, Friendship/Love, Ghouls, Hate to Love, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Kidnapping, Killing, Kissing, Kissing in the Rain, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Mild S&M, Multi, Murderers, Neck Kissing, Non-Consensual Kissing, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Past Relationship(s), Relationship(s), Robot/Human Relationships, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, S&M, Sadism, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Synths (Humans), The Minutemen - Freeform, Threesome - F/M/M, True Love, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, feral ghouls, loss of husband, railroad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:06:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 45
Words: 112,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5584804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivaille960/pseuds/Rivaille960
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Previous Army Second Lieutenant Avery Moore, finds herself in a world she doesn't quite understand. With her husband now dead and her son stolen its up to Avery to get him back. Can she do it or will she be corrupted by the commonwealths unforgiving inhabitants? Rated M for later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Vault 111

War. War never changes.  
In the year 1945, My great-grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when hed get to go home to his wife and the daughter he'd never seen. He got his wish when the US ended World War II by dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.   
The world awaited Armageddon; instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy not as a weapon, but as a nearly limitless source of power.

 

People enjoyed luxuries once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion-powered cars, portable computers. But then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream.

 

Years of consumption lead to shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077. We stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid. For myself, For my husband, for my infant son - because if my time in the army taught me one thing: it's that war, war never changes.

I awoke to an empty bed, Nate must already be getting ready for his speech at the Veterans hall today. I yawned sliding out of the bed my bare feet hitting the cold floor. I walked into Shaun's room to see my beautiful baby boy still asleep in his crib, Codsworth remaining vigil over him. I smile placing a kiss on my baby's forehead feeling hands at my hips as kisses are placed on my neck.

"Good Morning beautiful." Nate whispers in my ear making me smile as I turn to face him my arms wrapping around his neck. 

"Morning." I whisper back the back of my knuckles down the side of Nate's face. 

"We should get out of here before we wake Shaun." Nate mutters pulling me from the room his fingers intertwining with my own. Nate drags me to the bathroom allowing me to head for the shower as he goes to the mirror to brush his teeth and shave. I strip off my clothes before stepping inside the shower turning on the warm water allowing it to flow all over my body as I close my eyes raising my face to the water. Something feels wrong today, I can't explain it… But I have this feeling that I can only explain as pure fear consuming me. 

"Hey, Hun! You alright in there?" Nate's voice rings through the bathroom making me take a deep breath.

"Yeah! Haha, the water feels so good I just got a little carried away." I murmur back placing one of my hands on the glass door steadying myself. 

"Well hurry we can't be late today!" Nate calls back happily making me grab the shampoo and conditioner massaging it through my dark red locks. I close my eyes as I rinse out the soap from my hair finally deeming myself worthy of stepping out of the shower. I reach for a towel blindly making Nate chuckle softly before handing me one. I use it to dry my hair and body before slipping into a beautiful rose colored dress I bought for the occasion. 

"You have no idea how absolutely stunning you are Avery. I love you so much." Nate says pulling me close his mouth claiming mine. I slide my hands up to his shoulders our tongues mingling together as our kisses become desperate…its almost as if Nate can feel it too. Something is going to happen today, I blink confused as Nate pulls away pecking my lips one last time before walking towards the mirror. 

"I love you too Nate." I whisper out just as Shaun starts crying.

"Don't worry about it babe, you focus on getting ready I'll take care of Shaun." I smile as he walked out leaving me facing my own reflection. I quickly brush my teeth and brush my hair before I get started on my make-up. I make my eyeliner a bit thick so it makes my Steel colored eyes pop a bit more. I apply dark red lipstick to my lips followed by the same colored eye shadow before I walk out of the bathroom to Nate holding Shaun in the living room. Just as I am about to sit down the door bell rings making both Nate and I stare at the door. Nate sighs his eyes narrowing at the door. 

"Its that Vault-tech guy again, he came yesterday I tried to talk to him but he said he'd only talk to you. You wanna get the door?" Nate shakes his head as he continues rocking Shaun as Codsworth begins making him a bottle.

"Yeah." I nod walking around the couch to open the door to a man in a tan trench coat and fedora. "Good Morning Vault-Tech is calling. Ahhh… Finally Miss Avery I have been trying to get a hold of for some time now." The man says with a nervous smile. 

"Well it’s a good thing I opened the door then." I reply a bit awkwardly.

"Well we just wanted to tell you that you and your family have been pre approved for a spot in our Vault all you need to do is fill out these forms." The man hands me a clipboard and pen making me internally sigh before I start scrawling down all of our information. 

"Here you are is that all?" I question handing him back the clipboard.   
"Yes, Miss Avery that was all I needed, you have a good day now." He says waving over his shoulder.

"Umm Goodbye then!" I call out as I step back inside the house with a sigh. 

"Hey, its peace of mind that’s worth a little paper work right?" Nate murmurs handing Shaun off to Codsworth. 

"For you and Shaun no price is too high." I say with a smile making Nate chuckle.

"Good answer." I lean forward placing a kiss on the crown of his head.

"I have my moments." I whisper into his ear. Just then Shaun begins to cry.

"Miss Avery, Master Shaun completely refuses to calm down I think he wishes for some of that maternal affection you are so good at." I grin walking over to my baby boy taking him in my arms and slowly rocking him back and forth.

"Go ahead honey I'll be there to help you in a minute." Nate calls out as I hum Shaun a lullaby as I walk him towards his room ready to lay him down.

"My boy isn't giving his mother any trouble is he?" Nate questions as I look up at him happily. 

"Oh I fixed that old mobile on his crib why don't you give it a spin." Nate says taking Shaun from my arms allowing me to spin the small space ships that swung around over Shaun's crib. 

I stare at the mobile as it plays a gentle tune making Shaun giggle at us. "That’s my boy on his best behavior just like his dad..." I raise an eye brow at Nate crossing my arms over my chest making him blush slightly.

"Well most of the time anyways…" He added quietly rubbing his neck making me laugh. 

"Uh hey Avery, I was thinking after break feast we could go out to the park for a walk, the weather should be holding up." Nate coos at Shaun.

"Why don't we go get pumpkins and carve Jack-o-lanterns?" I say my smile being forced off my face at the sound of Codsworth's screams.

"SIR, MUM YOU ARE GOING TO WANT TO SEE THIS!!!!" Nate and I stare at each other confused before we run out to the living room with Codsworth. Nate and I both turned to the TV.

"There were flashes…blinding flashes…sounds of explosions. We are trying to get confirmation, but we have lost contact with our affiliate stations. We do have confirming reports I repeat confirming reports of nuclear detonations in New York…Pennsylvania…. Oh…god!" The news anchor said before the screen went blank.

"WE NEED TO GET TO THE VAULT NOW!" I cried heading for the door.

"I have Shaun let's go!" Nate called back as we ran out on to the street to see it in chaos. Families were screaming and soldiers were directing them to the Vault. 

"Let's go Avery!" Nate said running in front of me following the directions of the soldiers. 

"Citizens if you are registered report to Vault 111 immediately." The soldiers screamed as we ran past them through the woods as we got to the top of the hill behind sanctuary. We reached the gate to see the man who had given us our spot in the Vault arguing with the guards.

"Avery Moore were on the list." I growled taking Nate's hand.

"One infant, one adult male one adult female. Go on in." He said moving out of the way allowing us to pass.

"Go to the platform and stand in the middle!" One of the soldiers called out as we ran to the giant Vault standing on a platform shaped like a giant gear.

"oh my god what's going to happen?!" the others cried but I took a step closer looking out as the first bomb dropped.

"Everything is going to be okay… I love you." Nate murmured hugging Shaun tightly as he walked up behind me taking my hand in his tightly. I stared in shock as it exploded. An array of dark red, orange and yellow sprang through all at once making the sky darken creating a giant mushroom cloud in its wake as we slowly began to descend into the Vault, then it hit me.

"BRACE YOURSELVES!" I screamed turning to Nate pulling him into a crouch as I wrapped my arms around him covering Shaun. A large gust of wind ran over us causing everyone to scream and panic until we finally reached the inside of the vault.

"Everyone please step up the stairs in an orderly fashion. No need to worry Folks we will get everyone situated in their new homes. Vault 111 a better future underground!" one man wearing a white lab coat called out. I took a deep breath letting go of Nates hand to step forward and walk up the stairs before the others.

I was ushered over to a woman holding a strange blue suit. She pulled me over to a changing room giving me some privacy as I took off my dress and pulled on the blue jumpsuit. "Thanks. What now?" I questioned in a hoarse voice. 

"follow the doctor and he will take you to your new home." a woman said staring at me strangely. I swallowed hard following behind the doctor as he lead us into a room with these strange machines. I looked at Nate and he pressed a gentle kiss to my lips before he climbed into the machine directly in front of mine.

"This machine will decontaminate and decompress you before we enter the lower parts of the vault." The doctor said closing the hatches on both of our machines. Suddenly it started to get colder and colder and before long I was shivering staring at Nate and Shaun and before long everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

"Manual override initiated cryogenic stasis suspended." A computerized voice alerted making me blink in surprise… when had I fallen asleep? I tried looking out the window of the machine I was in, but it was covered in frost. My whole body felt numb but I managed to move my arm a bit wiping the frost away as much as I could with my sleeve. I could see someone just barely, walking up to Nate's machine wearing a strange hazmat suit followed by a bald man wearing a leather jacket. 

"This is it, this is the one." The woman said looking up at the man whose appearance just screamed dangerous.

"That so? open it up then." I watched drowsily as they opened the machine that Nate and Shaun were in. I could hear Nate coughing as well as Shaun wailing. 

"Is it over? Are we okay?" The man stepped closer to Nate. 

"Almost, everything is going to be fine." The man says as the woman reaches to take Shaun from Nate. 

"No, No ive got him!" Nate hisses out, then the man pulls out a gun making Nate stare at him in shock. 

"Let the boy go now. I am only going to tell you once." The man stares at Nate with a sickening grin.

"I'm not giving you Shaun!" Nate screams and just like that the man pulls the trigger splattering Nate's brains all over the inside of the machine.

"No…No…GODDAMN YOU NO! NATE!!! PLEASE NATE WAKE UP!! NATE!" I screamed banging on the window of the machine I was still trapped in. My heart was tearing to shreds as tears ran down my cheeks.

"Nate…" I whispered brokenly staring at his body.

"Go, get the boy out of here… At least we still got the back up." He muttered looking up at me as I stared him down.

"I'll kill you!" I screamed making him smile at me. I stared at his face memorizing it for when I was finally freed from this fucking machine. 

"Cryogenic Stasis reinitialized." The voice said and once again I was thrown into the blackness.

 

When I woke up again I was coughing and gasping for air. I looked around me banging on the door forcing it to open as I fell to the cold ground. The room felt suffocating, I coughed crawling over to the machine in front of me using it to lift myself up. I could see Nate unmoving inside, I looked over at the controls pulling a lever down that opened up the hatch to his machine. I stared at his body silently as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I placed a shaky hand on his thigh before bringing his hand to my lips placing a gentle kiss against his wedding ring. I slipped his ring from his finger placing it on my opposite hand. 

"I'll find who did this Nate… I will bring Shaun back! I promise." I whispered placing one last kiss on his hand before closing the hatch once more. I turned to look at the rest of the machines.

"Oh god… Why would Vault-Tech do this!" I sobbed stumbling out of the cryogenic room. I noticed an exit I stepped forward trying to open the door to no avail. I swallow hard turning around to walk down the hallway to see what looks like a giant cockroach crawling along the glass in the room nearby. I try my hardest not to hyperventilate. I keep going until I see a small fenced room, the room itself isn't what catches my attention, but the pistol lying inside it. I open the door picking up the pistol along with all the spare bullets scattered around. 

I look around the room and see a small pack, I snatch it bringing it close as I slip the bullets in the front pocket of the pack before pulling it over my shoulders. I looked around, the room looked somewhat familiar from when we had come here. I followed the way that I had come in through finally reaching the large entrance to the vault. I walk around seeing skeletons all over the floor, one specifically having something strange on its arm, detached arm I might add. 

I walked over picking it up, it seemed to be a pip-boy, I used to see these things on tv. I placed it on my arm turning it on watching as a dark pink screen came to life. I examined the pip boy closer seeing a strange plug in on the back of the pip boy, I looked down at the console to open the door that would finally free me from the vault. I unplugged the chord from the pip-boy placing it inside the console before slamming my hand on the large red button next to it. 

I winced covering my ears as a harsh screeching filled the room. The door was being opened and I heaved a sigh of relief running up to the small catwalk that would lead me to freedom. It took a moment for it to extend but when it did I ran across it and down the stairs straight on to the platform that brought me into this death trap. As soon as I stepped on it the platform began moving and I fell to my knees clutching my hair. "What am I going to do without you Nate…" I whispered softly as more tears ran down my cheeks. I sobbed clutching my chest, it felt as though my heart was breaking. Or maybe it died with Nate… But I have to be strong because I have to find Shaun. I wipe my tears and stand up squaring my shoulders. 

"You can do this Avery…." I murmur as I hug myself tightly. I look up in surprise as a light starts shining into the elevator. I raise my hand covering my eyes as I reached the surface. Everything was so blurry I had to blink a few times before my eyes finally adjusted to the light. A shocked sigh escaped my lips as I stared at the ruined world before me. The only way that it could truly be explained is destruction, pure destruction is what laid in the wake of those bombs. But obviously people had survived, and the ones that took Shaun would pay dearly.

I clutched the pistol I had in my hand tighter as I walked down the hill avoiding the skeletons of those who were unable to get into the Vault in time. I grip one of the trees as I stumble forward tripping over a discarded limb. I hold the tree tightly as I regain my composure and walk the rest of the way back to what was our…my home. Sanctuary is in ruins. There's nothing but broken down homes and the thought of everyone we knew dying like that makes me shudder as I walk down the familiar street to my old house, miraculously it's still standing. I walk inside and to my shock Codsworth is right there. 

"Codsworth you survived!" I cry running forward to hug my old robot. 

"As I live and breathe! it's really you Miss Avery! Where are the Master and young Shaun?" I blinked back the tears and smiled up at Codsworth.

"N-Nate is in a better place." I whisper sliding my wedding ring around my finger. 

"Mum all these awful things you are saying… they could be paranoia I mean 200 years locked in a vault will do that to you…" I froze looking up at Codsworth in surprise. 

"That’s impossible…two hundred years." I sucked in a shaky breath and I couldn't help but slowly sink down to the ground trying my hardest not to cry… I didn’t ask for this life… I didn’t ask to go into the vault… and I didn’t ask for Shaun to be stolen and Nate to be murdered. 

why me?


	3. Enter John Hancock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery meets John Hancock

John Hancock  
"Look we need to hurry this little trip of yours up, I need to get back to Good Neighbor." I say around the cigarette hanging from my lips. 

"I know John, I wouldn’t have asked you here unless it was important, we need to check out that town. There is a chance we can move create a settlement there and have more rooms for the citizens who don't wish to live so close to Boston commons." Fahrenheit said as we continued our trip to sanctuary. This was the first time in a long time that I had been away from what I considered home. It finally clicked in my head why we were making this trip… it was for her… she wanted to live here…. she wanted to leave me. 

I bit back my sigh shooting her a glare before following behind her I spent most of my time staring at Fahrenheit, she was truly beautiful. She was mine, since the day I found her and saved her from those raider savages she has been by my side. But she doesn’t truly have feelings for me and that’s what hurts, I loved this woman since the moment I laid eyes on her. Sure I had taken her to bed a few times but she only did it because she was afraid I'd make her leave Good Neighbor.

I sighed taking another drag of my cigarette as we finally reached Sanctuary. I blinked a few times hoping my eyes would be betraying me. They weren't, in the midst of all the rubble of sanctuary was a woman dressed in a pristine Vault suit crying on the ground next to a Mr. Handy robot. Her dark red hair was curled down past her thin waist, it absolutely glowed in the sunlight, her pale skin beautiful and unmarred. 

The only thing I could think was: fuck me, I never could resist a damsel in distress. Before I knew it I was walking towards her, my body moving on its own. "Hancock stop, she could be dangerous." I glared at Fahrenheit making her put up both hands in surrender. 

"Hey there, you look like you could use a hand." I say as kindly as I can, I crouch next to her offering her one of my ruined hands. Maybe when she looks up at me she will scream or try to kill me. I swallow hard watching her look up at me, steel colored eyes red and puffy, cheeks stained from her tears. She pauses looking at me up and down and I fear rejection or cruel words but I get neither. She leans forward wrapping her arms around my neck as tightly as she can, and she cries. I blink back the tears burning in my own eyes as I wrap my arms around her waist hugging her tightly in return. I sit back on the road in the middle of sanctuary where I could get my head blown off at any second holding this beautiful mess of a girl who doesn’t fear me. 

I run my fingers through her hair feeling the silky strands caressing my fingers as her breath begins to even out, poor girl has suffered enough for one day. "Hey rust bucket, is there anywhere for me to lay the lady down so she can get some rest?" I say looking up at the Mr. Handy still standing nearby.

"Oh my yes there is, her house is the one just down the street. I will show you!" The robot replies happily as I pick up this beautiful girl bridal style in my arms and walk behind him. 

"You said this was her house?" I ask as he leads me to a room that has just a mattress on the floor. 

"Ah yes Mum lived here before the war." I look over at him confused laying her down as gently as I can before draping my jacket over her body. 

Before the war? she doesn’t look like any ghoul I've ever seen and I am one." I stared my glare hardening as the robot sighed. 

"Mum was put into a cryogenic vault for the last 200 years and she got out only to find that her husband had been murdered and her son Shaun had been kidnapped." I feel my heart breaking as I look back at the nameless woman lying curled around my jacket. She's been through so much, god knows what kind of hell it must have been to wake up to this world. 

"What's her name?" I question as I crouch down to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. 

"Avery…Avery Moore." The robot replies making me smile down at her.

"Avery… what a beautiful name." I whisper looking at her memorizing every contour of her body.

"You know my name now, what's yours?" She questions blinking up at me drowsily as she starts sitting up her hand clasping mine tightly so she won't fall back. 

"John…John Hancock. Just like the first true American trouble maker." She laughs softly and I swallow hard at how adorable she sounds. When her steel eyes meet mine I know I'm in trouble. A warmth spreads through my chest and I have to take a breath because it feels as though my breath has slipped away. 

"You certainly look the part. Should I worry that you'll be getting me into a lot of trouble from here on out John?" She says looking at our clasped hands for a moment before smiling up at me.  
"The decision is yours but if you choose to stick with me I can promise you, we will get into a whole lot of trouble together." I blurt out making her tilt her head curiously. 

"Would you be able to teach me how to survive out here?" I nod praying that she wants to stick around with me for the long haul.

"Anything you need I can and will provide for you all you need but do is ask." She looks at me and sighs softly.

"I'm not a charity case I just need help learning how to survive this place so I can make it on my own and find my son." Charity case was she serious? she doesn’t seem to hear the desperation in my voice. I want to keep her but I won't force her, I don't want her to be the same as Fahrenheit.

"I can, all you have to do is come with me. I'll take you to diamond city there's a detective there by the name of Nick Valentine. He can help you find your boy." Her eyes light up as she nods vigorously, her hand tightening in mine.

"Please John, I need to find him." She whispers her face filled with concern.

"Come with me Avery. I'll help you." I murmur as I help her out of her bed. She smiles gratefully.

"Here mum I took the liberty of filling your pack with purified water, food and various first aid supplies." The robot says handing Avery her pack. 

"Thank you Codsworth, I will see you soon." Avery murmurs placing a gentle hand on the robot before allowing me to walk her outside. Then suddenly I freeze in my footsteps having forgotten about Fahrenheit completely for the moment. 

"Who are you?" Avery asks as Fahrenheit glares her down, Avery stands tall not even flinching under her burning gaze. 

"Fahrenheit, I am Hancock's body guard." She says in a hard tone making Avery smirk for a moment. 

"Avery is coming back with us, I'm going to teach her how to survive then we are going to take her to Valentine." Fahrenheit grits her teeth before turning around and stomping in the direction of Good Neighbor. 

"Come on sweetheart, lets follow after her." I say making Avery look up at me with a soft expression before we continue after the fuming Fahrenheit. "So tell me about yourself Avery." I say looking at her as she glances around the ruins of the commonwealth. 

"What can I say that you don't already know?" she questions meeting my gaze. 

"I want to know about you, not just what you came here to do." I reply making her eyes lower to the ground. 

"I am Avery Moore, I am two hundred and twenty four years old. Before the war, I was a Second lieutenant in the Army, so I know how to handle a gun." she says eying her pistol she has loosely gripped in her hand.

"I lived with my husband and son in sanctuary before the bombs fell." I reach over lacing my fingers through hers hoping to give her some comfort from her pain. 

"So you saw the war happen?" I question trying to distract her. 

"Just the beginning of it." she says giving my hand a light squeeze. 

"When the bombs dropped it was horrifying, we were getting ready for Nate's speech at the veterans hall. It was the last day I held Shaun. No one knew if we were going to make it out of that alive. To find out what Vault-tech did to us… I would kill them were those bastards still alive." She grieved and I wanted nothing more than to console her once more.  
"John… would you get angry with me if I asked how you got those burns..?" She hesitated her face filled with worry.  
"Burns… sweetheart, I suppose that’s what it looks like since you haven't seen any other ghouls yet. These aren't burns, they are the consequences of the ultimate high." Her eyes widen almost comically making me grin at her. 

"I took a drug, it ended up being some sort of radiation treatment. When I woke up I was forced to deal with the consequences…" I said gesturing to myself.

"Ah but the high was worth it, and immortality isn't half bad either." She raises an eyebrow curiously. 

"You're immortal?" I chuckle softly earning a glare from over Fahrenheit's shoulder.

"Not exactly but we ghouls to live a lot longer than normal people." I say pulling a cigarette from my jacket and offering it to her, she simply shakes her head. 

*

When we got to Good Neighbor, I turned around to Avery pulling her aside. "Look I have to do something, stay right here and I will be right back. You can also take some time to get acquainted with Good Neighbor. Will you be alright alone?" I question and she smiles. "Yeah I will be John, thanks for bringing me here. I'll take a look around and I'll be back here by the time you return." I couldn't help but return her smile as I placed a hand on her head.

"Good girl." I say staring into her eyes and I could swear I see them darken for a moment before I'm letting her go and heading towards the old state house. Before I enter I pull one of my watchmen aside. 

"Hey James, see that girl over there?" I inquire making the ghouls eyes flick over to her before he nods.

"Watch her, anyone gives her any trouble you come get me… immediately." I command before waving him off entering the old state house and going up the rickety old stairs after a very angry Fahrenheit.

"Wow, you aren't attached at the hip with your pretty little doll." She hisses hands on her hips.

"Fahrenheit… I don't know why you are so upset." She glares at me stepping forward pushing me back against the door, I glare back she knows I hate being cornered. 

"I am upset, because the way you are panting over her, It's sickening." I scoff crossing my arms looking anywhere other than her. 

"Sickening, is taking me to the place that you planned to escape to, after leaving me…" I growl and she goes completely pale. 

"You think I didn’t realize it… I'm not holding a gun to your fucking head Fahrenheit, I've done nothing but love you. If you wanted to leave the door is right fucking there." I say pointing at the door as she takes a step back.

"Uhhh, Mayor Hancock?" James says as he walks in with his hands raised.

"WHAT!?" I grunted turning my murderous glare to the poor ghoul who walked in on us fighting. 

"I know you're busy but it’s that girl you were telling me to watch. She's getting harassed by Finn, I was gonna step in but I felt like you'd rather do it yourself." I curse under my breath and look back at Fahrenheit. 

"This isn't over." I growl stomping outside just in time to see Finn go up to Avery who looks less than impressed. 

"Hold up there… First time in Good Neighbor, can't go walking around without insurance." She narrowed her eyes at him staring him down fiercely.

"Well maybe if you were selling keep-dumb-assholes-away-from-me insurance then maybe I'd be interested, but im not so back off." A bit of my anger simmered down a bit seeing her telling off a man almost three times her size. 

"Now don't be like that doll, I think you'll like what I have to offer." He says laying pushing her hair off of her shoulder staring at her as seductively as he can. I can't say it didn’t make my blood boil, but something was keeping me rooted in place, stopping me from going to her side and defending her.

She needs this, she needs to prove to everyone including me that she isn't going to roll over for anyone. I swear when she smiled up at him my heart stopped in my chest. She reached up to take his hand and before I knew it she was twisting it behind his back making him whimper in pain. She kicked him sending him sprawling forward on to his hands and knees. 

"You little bitch!" He hissed out ready to hurt her, I knew I had to step in now, but I couldn't be more proud of Avery. 

"Whoa, whoa. Time out." I declare stepping forward making Avery's shoulders relax a fraction. 

"When someone walks through that gate, they are a guest. Lay off that extortion crap." I say calmly, but I was anything but my whole being was vibrating with the need to kill this scum for laying a hand on her. 

"What do you care? She ain't one of us!" Finn growls dusting himself off and coming to stand in front of me. I want to laugh because the poor kid thinks he's intimidating. I scoff shaking my head he really doesn’t know how close he is to dying right now. 

"What, no love for your mayor…Finn? I said Let. her. go." I roll my eyes as he steps closer getting in my face.

"Your soft Hancock. You keep letting outsiders walk all over us. One day there will be a new mayor." I fucking grinned the threat I was waiting for, the reason to kill him. I think Avery can feel it because she steps forward looking at me with a worried expression. 

"Come on man. This is me we are talking about, now let me tell you something." I say placing a hand on Finns shoulder holding him in a vise like grip.

"John No!" Avery cried out just as I pulled the dagger out of my jacket ignoring her pleas, I needed this. I stabbed him twice before dropping his lifeless ground to the floor.

"Now why'd you have to go and say that, breaking my heart over here." I say as one of my watchmen picks up his body and drags him towards the state house. I turn to Avery who has a look of horror on her face staring at the blood that pooled on the cement. 

"Avery…" She looks up at me with glassy eyes almost as if she's seeing me for the first time.

"You killed him." She whispered as she looked up at me.

"Let's talk about this in the state house." I murmur looking at the crowd that’s gathered around us. 

"Come." I beg reaching for her elbow to escort her inside, but when I go to touch her she flinches away from my grip. I swallow hard realizing what killing this bastard just cost me… Avery's trust. I grab her anyways pulling her in the direction of the state house and she lets me. Once we get inside she pulls away from me turning her back to me.

"I… I need directions to Diamond city… after that I will be out of here." She said hugging herself trying not to tremble.

"Please don't go yet, you won't get through Boston commons by yourself." I murmur as soothingly as I can placing my hands on her upper arms. 

"John… please don't touch me…" She whispers, I slowly retract my hands just clenching my fists at my side. 

"Stay the night, if you want to leave I'll escort you tomorrow." I insist, she looks over her shoulder at me with tears in her steel eyes. 

"One night, that’s it." I nod in understanding even though its killing me to think of her leaving. 

"Come I'll show you to your room." I motioned towards the staircase. She followed behind me as I lead her to the room farthest from mine, secretly I feel like she was thankful. 

I leave her without a word, I know she doesn’t want to talk anymore. I go back to my room and sit down on the bed looking over at my drawer that’s stores all my stronger chems. Why the fuck not… I decide as I pull out some jet and one of my best bottles of whiskey. I open it taking a drink before inhaling some jet, instantly I feel my mind reeling. The high has my mind and body buzzing, for a moment I forget everything and just lie there. I keep drinking the whiskey looking out at the night sky. I can only pray Avery will change her mind.


	4. Unlikely Valentine part 1

Avery  
I lay down on the mattress in the middle of the room and I can't seem to get comfortable. My mind is still buzzing with fear that Hancock may just come in here and kill me like he did that man. I thought he was kind because he consoled me… I let it blind me. He didn’t have to kill that man, he did it to make a point that no one is above him, I can't deal with people who are so power hungry they are willing to destroy others to get to the top. I bite my lip standing up and taking my pack with me as I left my room walking down the stairs. A few guards stared at me funny but otherwise it was pretty uneventful until I got outside again. 

I walked around looking at all the pretty lights from the ruined buildings. I looked at what I thought was a subway entrance apparently here it was a bar. I walk inside curiously looking around me to see a Mr. Handy robot selling the beer while a woman is on stage singing. I sit down on a couch away from everyone and just sigh. I really don't fit in here. I stare down at the pip-boy on my arm deciding to see what it can do. I stare in surprise as it shows me all of my vitals as well having a map of the Commonwealth. Granted none of the locations were marked aside from sanctuary and a few others we passed on the way here. I think of the stuff in my pack and decide to see what all Codsworth packed for me.

I pull my pack up to my lap and open it up seeing 5 purified waters and random boxes of cram and Mac & cheese. Inside there is a small printed note.   
Mum, I know you are not accustomed to this world anymore, so here are some of the things you need to know about the Commonwealth. Caps are the preferred form of currency here I have stored all the ones I could find within a small bag inside your pack. There are 500 within please use them wisely. I have also stored a few changes of clothing you never know when they may come in handy. Another warning mum, the people here aren't like they used to be, they are more like savages. If you come across a raider, you either kill them or run. Be careful Mum and stay safe. - Codsworth  
"Thank you Codsworth." I mumble softly taking a deep breath as I stand ready to head out of the bar.

 

"Hey there beautiful can I buy you a drink?" I look up in surprise to see a large piercing blue eyes staring back at me. His skin is perfectly tanned from days spent out in the sun, he has chocolate brown stubble framing his mouth. It’s the same color as the mop of hair peeking out from under his hat. 

"Nate…?" I whisper staring at the stranger who looks so much like my dead husband.

"Hey doll you still there?" He questions waving a calloused hand in front of my face making my cheeks redden. He smiles staring at me with amused eyes. He reminds me so much of Nate and that smile is enough to send my heart reeling. 

"I… thank you but I really should get going." I murmur making his eyes soften. 

"Well the offer is open, I'll be here in town anytime, unless I get a job that is." He says gently his voice kind. 

"I probably won't be coming back here, Mayor Hancock is taking me to Diamond city tomorrow." I grimace remembering the scene from earlier.

"Diamond city…? Names MacCready, I'm a hired gun, if you have the caps for it I can take you there myself." I smiled that actually sounded like a good idea. But what if I trust him and then he turns around and does the same thing John does. I swallow hard, I am not going to find Shaun unless I get there.

"I'm Avery, how much do you charge?" I question biting my lip nervously.

"250 caps and I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Avery." he says dramatically a small smirk playing at his lips.

"Done, but we leave tonight." I warned as he grabbed me by my arm walking me to the VIP section of the bar. His hand is warm against my skin making my heart skip a beat. 

"Count out the caps for me and we can head right out." I nod going for my caps that Codsworth had given me, I start sorting them out when I hear two pairs of footsteps making both MacCready and I turn to stare at the two men who had entered.

"Well look at this still operating in Gunner territory MacCready. Miss before you hire this idiot you should know he used to work for the Gunners." I stand narrowing my eyes at them, I had no idea what they meant by Gunners but if he would get me to Nick Valentine I didn’t care.

"Look, I don't care who he used to work with. If he isn't with them now that’s saying enough." I retorted rolling my eyes to see MacCready staring at me in surprise. 

"Look here missy, we could kill you both right now, but we don't want a war with Good Neighbor. You see we don't like overstepping our boundaries, something you never learned MacCready." One with overly large sideburns says as he steps up to grab me by the collar of my shirt. I took a deep breath, I really hated being touched. I grabbed his finger from my shirt and began bending it back until he was kneeling uncomfortably on the ground whimpering for me to let him go. 

"You stupid bitch." His friend roars I look up seeing him about to hit me.

"Not another move, you won't lay a hand on my employer. Why don't you and your girlfriend get out of here before we decide to end your miserable lives." MacCready hisses his rifle aimed at the others head.

"Go and if you come back, I won't be so kind." I snap making both scramble out of there. 

"Come on Barnes, lets go… This isn't over MacCready!" They hiss falling all over themselves to get out of there.

"That was awesome, Oh man did you see the look on their faces?!" MacCready laughed looking back at me making me smile in return. I was happy because we handled that together without killing them. This was proof enough that he was different than Hancock. 

"Also, thank you for what you said about me being with the Gunners." He murmured his smile falling from his face, his eye brows furrowing.

"I'm not sure what the Gunners are, but if you left them it had to be for a good reason. So I can't judge you for your past. I can only judge you by your actions, you let those men walk away with their lives. You could have killed them right then and there but you didn’t. You gave them a warning. That makes you good in my book." I remarked making him stare at me with those big blue eyes again. 

"The Gunners are a really tightly knit mercenary group, so tightly knit you'd think it was a cult or something… I only stuck with them cause the caps were good, I didn’t really fit in so I ended up flying solo." He sighs before coming to stand in front of me. 

"You have a lot of morals still don't you? You seem so innocent compared to the rest of the scum in this place. I will risk my life to protect that innocence." He says running his knuckles down my cheek. I can feel my face flush, as I stare into his eyes unable to look away. Our eyes stay locked and it's as though a mask is being lifted and I can only stare frozen as I see the pure pain deep in those blue eyes. 

I have to wonder if that pain is like my own? Then just like that spell has been broken, he looks away first walking past me and I feel like I can breathe again. I turn around seeing him going over to the caps I laid out only taking 200 of them before pouring the rest into their bag and putting it back into my pack. He looked over at me offering me the pack with a small smile. I took it shrugging it over my shoulders, together we walked out of the third rail heading for the exit of Good Neighbor. 

"Its gonna be great getting back out there instead of drinking myself blind here." MacCready says stretching his arms over his head.

"How long has it been since you’ve been back there?" I say nodding my head toward the door. "Months maybe, those assh--- idiots back there are the reason I haven't had any business. People won't touch me once they hear that I used to run with the Gunners." MacCready mutters before freezing in his place.

"Hey, Hancock. How's the coolest ghoul in the Commonwealth?" I swallow hard at John's name leaving his lips, I look over to see him leaning against wall right next to the exit. His black eyes slide over to me and I can't help but shiver. 

"Hey MacCready… Avery? I went to your room and you were gone already. You planned to leave without saying anything?" I'm not sure if it’s a question or a statement but I nod anyway making MacCready stare between us curiously. 

"I offered to take her to Diamond City with me since I was on my way already." MacCready lies through his teeth staring at John seriously.

"Is that so… Good luck finding your son Avery. I do hope you'll come back soon to see me." He whispers stepping forward wrapping his arms around me tightly. I feel my eyes burning as I wrap my arms around him too. 

"Thank you John, I will come by to see you again one day." He pulls away smiling softly before looking at MacCready. 

"Protect her with your life… please." MacCready only nods, his face has gone completely serious. 

"Let's go." He says taking me by my arm and walking me out of Good Neighbor leaving Hancock behind us. 

*  
"Well here we are Diamond City the green jewel of the Commonwealth." MacCready says softly, I blink up at him as he takes my hand in his wrapping it around his forearm. 

"Stay close okay?" I nod as MacCready leads me down the stairs into the city. 

"There's a lot of stuff you can do here, but you said you were looking for Nicky so let's go there first." He says and I only nod in agreement as he leads me down an alleyway with a bright neon sign reading Valentines Detective agency. I hold on to him a little tighter as we reach the door. I swallow hard reaching with trembling hands for the doorknob. I feel MacCreadys hand lead mine to the doorknob using both of our hands to open the door. 

We walk in together to see a woman standing holding a few ties in her hand. "His ties… oh Nick…" She murmurs sadly. I pull away from MacCready stepping forward.

"Is everything alright?" I urged as a woman in tears turned to face me. 

"Another stray coming in from the rain, afraid you are a bit too late…office is closed." She sobs placing a hand over her mouth. 

"Please I know you must be busy but I won't take much of your time miss, it's really important." I whisper with pleading eyes as she takes a breath calming down.

"You're right I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude….it's just the detective. He's gone missing." I clench my fist at my side as MacCready places a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

"He disappeared working on a case. Skinny Malone's gang had kidnapped a young woman. He tracked them down to their hide out in Park street station. There's an old Vault down there they use as a base. I told Nick he was walking into a trap, but he just smiled and walked out the door like he always does." she chuckled sadly. 

"I'll find him, you have my word." I promised her before looking at MacCready who slowly slipped his hand off my shoulder. 

"Come on." I said walking past him out the door. MacCready stops me just as we get outside.

"Avery, there is something I should tell you. If we are going after Nick, you are going to have to kill someone…. can you do that? I've seen you fight but I don't know if you have it in you to take a life…" He reasons biting his lip I assume in a hope to not offend me. 

"I don't enjoy murdering someone for no reason, if they try to kill me or hurt me I will end someone that includes if I need to kill in order to find Nick Valentine then I will do it. I'm no stranger to killing but that doesn’t mean I enjoy it." I mutter realizing all of my morals will be destroyed in this place. 

"Then let's go find Nicky shall we?" He says with a small smile.


	5. Unlikely Valentine part 2

MacCready  
It's been two weeks with this girl, somehow from Good Neighbor to Diamond city, Diamond City to Park Street station she had managed to survive without killing anything human, which made my job considerably more difficult. The girl doesn’t realize this world isn't built for morals. 

Avery and I are sitting right outside of Park street station, as she pulls her rifle off of her shoulder. One I recommended she buy before we left Diamond City. "You ready for this?" She doesn’t say a word she just takes a breath opening the door to the station quietly. We both slip inside crouching down as we hear voices coming from the bottom of the stairs. We both step as quietly as we can, we reach the door. Avery takes a peek inside before pointing to the left. Two Triggermen were standing behind a column meant to hold the subway station up. I go through my own pack reaching for a fragmentation grenade. Avery narrows her eyes at it in question, I smirk up at her taking a few steps into the room before throwing it towards the two men talking.

"Hey did you hear that?" One calls to the other, then the grenade explodes and my body is moving on auto pilot and Im on top of Avery covering her with my own body.

"Are you alright doll?" I question softly looking down at Avery after my ears stop ringing. Her face is flushed a bright red, and I blink surprised as she pushes me off of her standing immediately and going for the bodies of those guys I just decapitated. I just stare after her confused with her attitude, I roll my eyes huffing in irritation as I stand up and dust myself off. I feel my heart stop as a shot rings out behind me. I run into the room my rifle drawn in time to see Avery's cheek was grazed, she already aiming her rifle and I watch as she holds her breath letting it go as she pulls the trigger. I look to my right seeing the man's head erupt painting the walls with his blood and brains. Avery sighs glaring as the ghouls body hits the ground.

"Take everything you can find on him." She says her voice devoid of all emotion.

"Yes Ma'am." I salute before going over to the body, I slightly cringe at the blood before digging through the guys pockets finding a few caps and chems. I take them reaching for his gun and stuffing it into my pack. Once im finished I walk over to Avery seeing her taking everything she can hold.

"Uh, we're gonna be splitting all that right doll?" I half joked making Avery shoot me a glare that made me shiver. 

"let's go, Nick is waiting for us." She mutters gaining an attitude I didn’t know she could muster. I suck in an annoyed breath following behind her keeping a tight grip on my rifle as we head deeper into the station picking off everyone we see before they even know were coming. After a bit of walking we see a large door in the distance its shaped like those gears you find in the back of old clocks. 

"My bets are on that being the place where they have Nick." I laugh nudging Avery with my shoulder. When I don't get a reaction I look down at her to see her hands trembling her face incredibly pale. 

"Hey are you okay you don't look so good?" I observed watching her borderline hyperventilating at the sight of the door. 

"I really, really don't want to go in there." she utters with wide eyes. I step in front of her blocking the sight of the door.

"Hey, doll look at me. Its gonna be okay." I promise cupping her cheek making myself her sole focus. 

"Deep breaths, slow it down or you are gonna end up fainting on me if you don't." She's ignoring me her eyes squeezed shut as she suffers at the hands of her own mind. I grip her shoulders tightly unsure of how to stop her from doing this to herself. Then a thought pops into my head and I know I'm going to get murdered for this. I look at her for a moment giving her a chance to listen to me. When she doesn’t I end up pulling Avery close wrapping my arms around her. I give in to the urge I had that first night I saw her in the third rail. I press my lips against hers feeling her wince as my thumb brushes against the small wound on her cheek. 

I keep my eyes tightly shut as I feel her hands grip my jacket tightly, what I don't expect is for her to return the kiss. I felt my heart skip a beat, I didn’t think I would ever feel her return the pressure on her lips, our lips separate for a moment as she tries to speak or reason with me, to say something… anything to make me let her go. But I didn’t want her to because the moment she did this would have to end, I wanted to savor this moment because I may not ever feel something like this ever again. 

I slip my tongue between her lips grazing a wet muscle that almost shyly fought back. I feel the grip on my jacket loosen as her hands slide up my forearms until they are latched around my neck her fingertips splaying into my hair. I felt as though I was falling into oblivion with the touch of her lips, She was sin and I felt like a man starved as I held her body against mine. I kissed her a bit harshly, making sure our tongues fought desperately, I wanted this to be real. I see so much of Lucy's personality in her and I can't help but take full advantage of this. 

She tasted sweet almost overwhelmingly so, I couldn't get enough of her. I moved my hand from her hip to tangle it in her hair reveling in how silky the strands were against my finger tips. Somehow she managed to slip from my grasp turning her face away from mine, I let my kisses continue down her jaw until I was sucking on her neck leaving a large enough bruise so anyone who looked at her knew she was mine… 

"MacCready, Stop!" she cried her voice hoarse with desire. I ignored her going to the other side of her neck leaving twin marks on each side. 

"MacCready!" She hissed pushing hard on my chest making me stumble back a few steps. I blink a few times as she pants trying to regain herself, but she looks beautiful with her face flushed and chest heaving from the intensity of our kiss.

"Well I bet you feel better now." I mused a smirk playing at my lips, she wiped her lips on her sleeve before stomping towards the door, on the plus side my plan worked and she was no longer afraid. I ran behind her catching up easily a smile plastered to my face despite the fact that my face was starting to hurt. I watched as she plugged the pip-boy on her arm into the doors controls. I watched in surprise as the large door started moving out of our way showing us the vault within. 

"Hey you hear that someone opening the door!" We heard some scream, I grabbed Avery's arm tugging her into a room to the left of the door where the voices where coming from. They both run into the room going to inspect the door, Avery places a hand on my arm squeezing it before she runs up behind one of them breaking his neck before the one beside him even knows what's going on. He screams in shock about to hit Avery, I raised my gun shooting his head clean off before he could lay a hand on her. Together we made our way through the entire vault until we reached an empty lounging area.

"How you doing in there Valentine? Feeling hungry." A man asks drawing both of our attention to the overseers office up on the third floor. Avery bites her lip quietly heading for the stairs as the guy continues his rant. 

"Keep talking meathead it'll give Skinny Malone more time to think about how he's gonna bump you off." I hear Nicky say to the guy. 

"Don't give me that crap Valentine, you know nothing you got nothing." That idiot sounds so sure of himself, but it gives us the distraction we need to get up to where he is. 

"Really? I saw him writing your name in that black book of his. Lousy cheating card shark I think were his exact words. Then he struck the name across three times." I followed after Avery, we were finally on the top floor. She went up behind the guy shooting him in the back of the head as he argued with Nick.

"Hey you, I don't know who you are but you got three minutes before they realize muscles for brains ain't coming back. Get this door open." I look inside the glass as Avery gets to work on the terminal, after a moment we all hear a click and the door is lifting. We both step inside Nickys room, he gives me a half smile before turning to Avery. 

"Gotta love the reverse damsel-in-distress scenario. Question is why did our heroin risk life and limb to save an old private eye like me?" He questions as he lights up a cigarette giving me the craving to light up my own.

"My baby was kidnapped… his name is Shaun. I don't know who took him or where they went." She murmurs looking at the ground.

"Kid missing, you came to the right guy, but at the wrong place. I'll tell you I've been cooped up here for weeks, turns out the runaway daughter is actually Skinny Malone's new flame, And she's got a bit of a mean streak. Look darlin, you meet me in my office in Diamond City, I'll see what I can do to help you find your boy. For now let's get out of here." He says walking past us leading us from the Vault. 

"Music to my ears." I mutter softly making Avery glance up at me. There's no one in the hallways anymore just bodies that I managed to convince Nick and Avery to stop at so I could loot them. 

"look, once we get through this door be ready for anything." Nick says making me raise up my rifle as I step up next to Avery.


	6. Unlikely Valentine part 3

Avery

"Nicky what are you doing? You come into my house and shoot up my guys? You have any idea how much this is gonna set me back?" A large man hisses at Nick. I look around us, only two Triggermen are at his side followed by on overly eccentric woman holding a sleek black baseball bat.  
"I wouldn’t even be here if it weren't for your two-timing dame skinny. You should tell her to write home more often." Nick says as I feel MacCready inch closer his rifle aimed directly at Skinny Malone's head. The woman steps closer smirking smugly at Nick.

"Aww… poor little Valentine. Ashamed you got beat up by a girl? I'll just run back to daddy shall I?" She murmurs sarcastically. I reach over tapping MacCready's thigh, his eyes lock with mine and I give him a slight nod. His eyes focus back on Skinny Malone, I hear him take a deep breath and just as he exhales he takes the shot. I run behind a bunch of metal crates crouching down grabbing my night vision rifle. I sidle along them raising my rifle up just in time to that bitch swing the bat hitting Nick in the shoulder.

I bite my lip shooting her in the leg. "AHHH." She hisses falling the floor losing her handle on the bat. Nick takes it from her shooting her in the head before going after another one of the triggermen. 

"Avery head down!" MacCready screams, I throw my gun aside diving down as a bullet whizzes over my head. I roll over on to my hands and knees looking up as a triggerman pushes me down. I manage to catch his hand before he stabs a knife into my throat. 

"Get off her!" MacCready growls as he pulls the guy off of me throwing him to the side as Nick finishes him off.

"You okay doll?" He murmurs helping me sit up, I nod taking his hand as he helps me stand. I let my head rest on his shoulder letting the weight of finally getting Nick hit me hard. MacCready lays a hand on my head allowing me to lean into him for some much needed support.

"It's okay Avery, once we get to Diamond City everything will be okay." He whispers before pulling away from me, I sigh looking at Nick giving him a nod that it's okay to keep heading out. 

"We should be able to use the service ladder to get out of here." Nick says as we run behind him towards the ladder. I let the guy go first before MacCready nodded for me to go next. I could feel the exhaustion seeping into me I felt like a sponge absorbing all of it. But when we get to Diamond City I can rest and Nick can help us find Shaun. 

"Ah look at that Commonwealth sky. I didn’t think something so naturally ominous looking could look so inviting. Thanks for getting me out of there… how did you know how to find me… not many people knew where I went?" Nick questions lighting up a cigarette, the scent makes my brain swirl. There's so many uncertainties in this world I doubt it would be wrong to start smoking again. I also should go apologize to John, I didn’t realize that all the moralities have gone to hell in this place. He killed that man because in this world you will get nowhere if rats like that are allowed to live. 

"Your secretary Ellie sent me." I mutter, my eyes straying to MacCready who is looking up at the sky. 

"She did? I should give her a raise." Nick jokes making me smile slightly. 

"Now you mentioned something about your son, Shaun and how he went missing. I want you to come with me to my office in Diamond City and give me all the details. Besides I think you’ve earned a chance to sit down and clear your head." Nick requested sympathetically. 

"I'll meet you there, Nick." I thanked him as he turned away from us waving over his shoulder. 

"We could have gone with him… just a thought." MacCready says looking over at the robot detective as he walks away.

"Good Neighbor is closer, right now I just want to talk to John and then go to sleep." I say looking down at my pip-boy mapping out the route before I start heading toward the town. MacCready sighs following behind me. 

"Hey Avery?" I look over my shoulder and MacCready stares at me seriously, I raise an eyebrow curiously. 

"It's nice to be out on the open road again, Good Neighbor was starting to wear out its welcome." I pause for a moment waiting for him to catch up with me before we keep walking. 

"What do you mean, what makes you say that?" I yawned my eyes flickering back to MacCready. Somehow I felt like something had changed between us, we had become a bit closer in the span of that mission. I'm happy to realize that he's actually gonna be with me for a while watching my back. 

"Good Neighbor is a great place to look for work, but a sh--crappy place to hang your hat. Let me put it this way it's hard to get some rest when you are sleeping with one eye open." He frowns, I place a hand on his arm.

"Hey, you’ve got me watching your back now." I smile up at him and his eyes light up. 

"Yeah your right, Still it was the best place for me to set up shop. Diamond City's goons would have run me out of town and wandering the Commonwealth alone isn't the best idea when your hard up for caps." he says placing his hand over mine. 

"Yeah caps seem to be really important here, but why so desperate?" I say unconsciously leaning closer to loop my arm through his. "I don't have much of a choice, look I don't usually go around sharing stuff like this but… you’ve been pretty straight with me so I'm gonna be straight with you. Its those two ass-idiots who were bothering us in the Third rail. Winlock and Barnes, they’ve been hounding me for months driving off clients. I figured that if I could get enough caps together that maybe I could buy them out." I feel a strange feeling in my chest, those guys didn’t really look very trust worthy. 

"Why not just kill them and get it over with?" I blink in surprise as the words leave my lips making me feel more guilty about how I treated John. 

"Winlock and Barnes keep a small army of gunners with them at all times. Unless… Maybe you and I could pay them a little visit and put an end to them before they even realize what's going on. Also before you get that look on your face I wouldn’t even be asking this if I didn’t trust you." He says looking at me gravely, I smile reaching up to smooth the skin between his eyebrows. 

"After everything we've gone through so far MacCready you should know, If you need my help I'm there." He smiles taking in a shaky breath. 

"To be honest I don't know what to say, I haven't been able to rely on someone since I was a kid. Everyone I've met has either tried to rip me off or put a knife in my back. But you, you're different we see eye-to-eye on almost everything. I have a funny feeling you actually care what happens to me. That’s why I decided to ask for your help. I'll tell you what, I'll make this easy on you. You wanna help me out, we can head over the Mass Pike interchange and we will take them down. If you don't I'm not going to hold it against you. Either way thanks for hearing me out it's nice to know you care." I cup his cheek gently patting it.

"Of course I care, now let's get some rest so we can go see Nick and then handle Winlock and Barnes." He grins as we walk into Good Neighbor together, I still have my hand wrapped around his arm as we head for the state house. The guards tip their hats to us as we walk past them up the stairs to see Hancock seated with Fahrenheit on his lap. I swallow hard feeling a spike of anger.

"Wow, I didn’t know you two were fu---screwing." MacCready laughs catching Hancock's attention as he all but pushes Fahrenheit off him.

"Avery." Hancock says standing, I slip my hand from MacCready walking over to wrap my arms around Hancock, he holds me tightly as his hot breath skims over my ear, I can't help but shiver. 

"I was so worried, did you find your son? Did you talk to Nick?" He questions pulling back to look at me, his thumb gently brushes away the dried blood that ran down my cheek earlier. 

"No, I haven't found anything on Shaun, but I did get a hold of Nick. I came here to talk to you and get some rest before I go talk to Nick. MacCready and I have had a rough couple weeks, we need some place to sleep." I say pulling away taking a step back so im right next to MacCready, Johns eyes scan my face for a moment before locking on my neck. His eyes narrow dangerously as he looks up at MacCready who is smirking as he eyes the marks from our little incident. I feel my face flush as I put my red hair over my shoulders to cover his mark. 

"You can stay here." Hancock says seriously, I open my mouth to thank him when MacCready cuts in. 

"Nah, we will go check in at the Hotel Rexford. After all we wouldn’t want to interrupt anymore than we already have. Right doll?" MacCready nods his head towards Fahrenheit as he raises his hand to the small of my back. I bite my lip turning back to Hancock. 

"MacCready is right, you guys deserve your privacy. We will go get some rest at the Hotel Rexford and I'll be by tomorrow to talk to you. It was nice seeing you again John." I smiled one last time at Hancock before MacCready led me out of the state house towards the Hotel Rexford. 

"I'll get us a room okay? Don't wander too far." MacCready says leaving me in front of the hotel. I walk to the building next to it seeing the words memory den in neon letters. I shrug my shoulders stepping inside to see a bunch of strange pods followed by a blonde woman lying on a couch.

"You look like you’ve stepped into the wrong place here sweetheart… do you even know what we do here?" I take a step forward. 

"Something about memories?" I question making her roll her eyes. 

"Well look at that someone who can read. Here we allow people to relive their memories. Now I hate to turn such a clever girl away but we aren't looking for new clients." she mutters sarcastically, but I ignore it. This…. this would allow me to see Nate one more time. I feel my mouth go dry, if I can see him one last time I will take the chance.

"Your cautious I get that, but I can handle it if you just let me." She purses her lips sighing.

"Well I guess it won't hurt to give you a trial run. Its best to think of loved ones, or someone close to you." She says sitting up to face me. 

"I…I lost my husband and I want to see him one last time please." I beg feeling the pain blossoming in my chest once more, this is the first time I've spoken it allowed and openly acknowledged that Nate is dead. 

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but I think we can help you. Go on, take a seat in the lounger." I take a seat and try to get comfortable in the lounger. I lay there waiting until the memory begins to unfold before my eyes, then I see it all over again.

"No, dear god I can't watch this again!" I cry seeing the people who kidnapped Shaun arguing with Nate once more.

"It should have been me, Goddamn it, it should have been me!" I cry watching as just like before the man threatens then shoots Nate and takes Shaun and I feel like I'm dying inside all over again. The pod opens and I push myself out of there crawling onto the ground whimpering as the tears roll down my cheeks. 

"Easy there sweetheart, easy. I'm so so sorry, if I knew we were going to put you through that again I would have said no." The blonde murmurs rubbing my back but I feel like I'm going to be sick. 

"Hey doll this is where you ran off---Avery?" MacCready's playful voice quickly becomes alarmed as he takes a look at me. MacCready runs to me skidding to a stop by my side on the floor. 

"What the hell did you do to her!?" He yells at the blonde as he inspects me. I look up at him throwing my arms around him as I sob into his neck. 

 

"We showed her the memory of her husband dying." She whispers sympathetically.

"You… What?!" He growls, I feel his hand slip under my thighs as he picks me up, holding me to him. I can feel how warm he is and it makes me feel a little better knowing that he's here for me. I feel like id go crazy if there wasn’t anyone who I could talk to this about. 

"You really fucked up this time Irma." He hisses shaking his head not even bothering to correct himself as he carries me out of there, I cling to him as tightly as I can. When we get into the hotel he buries my face in his neck so that no one can see my face, all I know is that I can feel MacCready walking up a staircase. 

"Hey doll, its okay now." He speaks softly as he sets me down on the bed, I don't want to let go but I know he probably doesn’t want me to hang onto him all night. 

"Here, drink this." He murmurs handing me a bottle, I wipe my eyes before taking a drink from the bottle. It burns my whole throat and I feel my head spin but I can't bring myself to stop. 

"Oh god, that was the worst mistake I've made since I woke up." I laughed as MacCready gave me a sympathetic look. 

"Tell me about him, about what happened Avery." He asks clear blue eyes meeting my own. 

"I was with Nate, he was carrying Shaun when our Mr. Handy robot Codsworth callout out to us. On our television it was being broadcast that there was a nuclear war happening… we ran to the vault and when we got there, they promised those things were only going to depressurize us so we could go deeper into the vault. It was a cryogenic facility, they froze Nate, Shaun and I, When I awoke the first time I saw him. A bald man with a scar down his face standing next to a woman in a hazmat suit. She tried taking Shaun from Nate and when he tried to stop her, they shot and killed him right in front of me. Before leaving me in that miserable facility. Then about three weeks ago, I woke up and the first person other than Codsworth I saw was John. He wrapped his arms around me and held me until I fell asleep in his arms, then he brought me to Good Neighbor. I was so angry after he killed that man that I ran out with the first person I could… you." I state looking up at him drowsily, he smiles softly offering me another drink which I happily take. 

"You, who looks so much like Nate that it hurts." His eyes widened at that and he looked like I had just wounded him. 

"Then you kissed me, you kissed me and I wanted it so badly because I can't stand being alone here MacCready… I don't want to be alone. You seem to be the only one who understands what im feeling, I saw it in your eyes back at the Third Rail. " I cry swatting the tears away from my cheeks angrily.

"Doll, im not going to let you ever be alone. You have to understand that." He says crouching down in front of me his warm hand cupping my cheek. He's so close that I can feel his breath on my lips, if I lean in just a little our lips will connect. I stare into his eyes and see his eyes flicker to my lips for a moment before looking back into my eyes. I see him lean in a little more before I squeeze my eyes shut expecting to feel his lips against mine once more. Just like the gentleman he secretly is, I feel MacCready's lips touch my forehead. 

"You are way to drunk, get some rest we gotta head out tomorrow." With that my eyes snap open to Macready pulling off his jacket and laying it next to me on the bed, he stares at me for a moment before going to lay down on the couch. 

"Sleep well Avery." He murmurs making me bite back a smile as I scoot back onto the mattress taking MacCready's coat and using it for a pillow. My eyes instantly close allowing sleep to overtake me.


	7. Getting a clue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cause i always end up stealing MacCreadys clothes when I play fallout.

Avery

"Damn, is it time to go already?" I hear MacCready mutter as he sits up stretching as I get our things ready. 

"Hey MacCready…?" I questioned as I picked up his jacket turning back to look at him. 

"You mind if I wear this for a while?" He looks surprised before a broad grin sprouts on his lips. 

"You wanna wear my clothes?" I feel my face flush slightly as I look away not answering. 

"Close your eyes, I'll tell you when to open them." My eye lids flutter shut at the sound of his command. I hear the sound of fabric rustling and I swear I almost open my eyes. But I keep them closed just as he says awaiting for him to continue. 

"Open." I blink a few more times my eyes scan his body and I see him wearing a leather jacket and leather pants. His clothes are in his hands held out to me. I smile taking his clothes raising an eyebrow as he raises his hands in surrender. I unzip my vault suit keeping my eyes on MacCready to make sure he isn't peaking at me. I manage to slip his pants on, followed by the blue button up dress shirt. 

I felt like I was drowning in his clothes, I laughed causing MacCready to open his eyes. I see his eyes darken as he eyes me, I suddenly feel self conscious. He doesn’t say a word as he steps closer to roll up my sleeves so that I can actually use my hands. Then he reaches down to the pants doing the same before tucking them into my black boots. 

"There's only one thing missing." I blink up at him as he walks over to grab his hat from the nightstand before placing it atop my head. 

"Look at that…" He whistles his eyes very obviously checking me out.

"You look perfect doll, keep the outfit it looks much better on you anyways. You ready to head out?" I fight to keep the smile off my face as I walk over and kiss him on the cheek. 

"Almost, I need to talk to Hancock. Wait for me outside the state house?" I hear him mutter something under his breath before he's nodding. I walk out of the hotel headed for the state house. When I get there Hancock is leaned against the staircase. 

"I've been waiting for you." He says looking down at me, I smile heading up to where he is. He leads me to a small ruined couch before taking a seat on the coffee table in front of me. 

"We should talk." I sigh nervously as Hancock smiles.

"Yeah, I really should explain what happened the night you left on me." I shake my head frowning. 

"No, it's me who should be explaining. I'm sorry, for the way I treated you… for just running out like that with MacCready in the middle of the night. When you killed that man, I won't lie to you, I was afraid of you John. But I have to accept that things have changed and you have done nothing but show me kindness since you laid eyes on me. Since I've been here I have ended up having to kill in order to keep myself alive… To keep MacCready alive… everything I can just to find Shaun. I understand now that this isn't the same world that I had fallen asleep in, Now that I am awake I will do what needs to be done to get my son back, I'm only sorry that I didn’t let you explain yourself after what happened. I'm sorry." I whisper looking up at him as he stares at me with those unnerving obsidian eyes before shaking his head and looking away. 

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn’t have done that in front of you. I should have been fucking thinking before I did that, but had I not made an example of him in front of those people. They truly would have believed I'm going soft and ended up trying to kill me." I sigh placing a hand over his. 

"Its alright, I should get going I promised Nick id meet him in Diamond City to discuss what happened to Shaun." He places his other hand over mine and smiles softly at me. 

"Thank you, for taking time out of finding Shaun to talk to me. You didn’t have to, hell you shouldn’t have had to. But you did and you have no idea what that means to me." He murmurs looking at our linked hands. His eyes flicker back up to me and I see something finally dawn on him as he eyes my clothes.

"Those look familiar." He mutters standing to get some space between us staring at me confused as I stand. 

"Yeah, MacCready let me use them to get out of that god awful Vault suit." I affirmed as his eyes narrowed like he was disgusted by the clothes. 

"Hanock! We have a problem, I heard word that those raiders got their hands on that merc we sent to Pickmen….. Gallery." Fahrenheit says her words coming to an uncertain halt as she lays eyes on me once more. "You're back…" She says pursing her lips her hand going to her hip as she looks at Hancock.

"Pickman gallery? I could go check it out for you if you'd like?" I offer turning my attention back to Hancock. 

"It's been really quiet up there lately and I mean post coitus quiet, scope out the place and I will give you 400 caps upon arrival. Be thorough I don't want to pay for a look-see." I laugh softly at Hancock's words making him smile. 

"I'm on it sir, I'll see you when I get back." I say mock saluting him before walking to the stair case and vaulting over it landing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Avery!" I hear Hancock call, but I'm already walking out the door. But before I know it I'm falling to the ground a strange man in shades catching me as I fall on top of him. "Shit! I'm so sorry." I murmur getting up offering my hand to him, he takes it gratefully standing once more and dusting his flannel shirt off. "No blood no foul." He grins as I look up at his greased back black hair. He looks oddly familiar, like one of the guards back in Diamond City…

"I'm D--- Avery!" MacCready calls out as he steps up next to us.

"Did you finish up here?" I'm about to speak when I see them eyeing each other cautiously. 

"Deacon?" MacCready questions as he pulls me closer to his side. 

"Hey MacCready, still killing people for caps?" The man questions as he smirks.

"I don't know you… still pretending to be anyone but yourself?" MacCready snaps making me stare at him in surprise.

"Come on Doll, we shouldn’t waste our time with him." I blink obviously confused as they glare each other down.

"What's going on…?" I question looking up at my partner as he glares Deacon down. 

"Avery was it? Don't let this asshole get you into too much trouble. " I smile at the stranger.

"If anything im the one getting him into trouble." I joke making MacCready chuckle softly. Deacon smiles back at me too, and I can't help the unnerving feeling coursing through my veins. 

"I hope I'll see you around." Deacon smiles waving as he walks away.

"You ready to head out to Diamond City?" MacCready asks glaring in the direction Deacon went as we head towards the entrance of Good Neighbor.   
***  
"Here we are once again." MacCready sighs as we run to get under a roof to avoid the rain. 

"We are fucking soaked." I groan as we sit down at the Power noodle shop. I look up as MacCready starts talking to the robot handling the shop, he hands him twenty caps getting to bowls of steaming noodles. he placed one in front of me before scooting closer so we could keep somewhat warm. I smile taking a bite of the noodles trying not to shiver at the cold wind. I see MacCready's large blue eyes scanning me before he's scooting as close as he can get one of his arms wrapping around my waist. 

I lean into him as we continue our meal listening to the sounds of thunder around us. "let's hope Nick is in." I murmur as we finish our meal.

"I'm sure he will be, being stuck in that vault I doubt he wants to go anywhere for a while." MacCready says placing a kiss on my forehead before leading me toward Valentines Detective agency. I feel my anxiety rise as I see the neon sign for Nicks agency, I suck in a breath as I open the door to see Nick behind his desk talking to Ellie. As soon as they hear us walk in Ellie runs up to me her arms wrapping around me. 

"Thank you so much! You saved Nick, this agency and my job!" She cries pulling back to hand me a small bag of caps.

"You know if you like wearing the detectives cap Nick really could use a partner!" I blink confused trying to processes everything she just said.

"Woah, one case at a time Ellie. Our new friend is here for some help of her own. Please take a seat." I swallow hard as MacCready nudges me forward. I take seat in front of Nick, I feel my heart begin to race. 

"Its gonna be okay, I'm right here with you." MacCready leans over me whispering the reassuring words in my ear. 

"Now when you are trying to find someone is missing, the devil is in the details. Now tell me everything you know no matter how painful it might be." I nod sitting straighter in my chair.

"We are looking for my son Shaun, he's less than a year old. Why would anyone take him?" Nick frowns his mechanical face thoughtful. 

"That’s a good question. Why your family in particular, why an infant? Someone would be taking on all of the infants needs and a baby needs a lot of them. What else can you tell me?" I think for a moment the face of that monster who shot Nate coming to mind. 

"There was a man and a woman, they didn’t say much but they called me the backup." I murmur blinking away the tears as they threaten to fall past my eye lids.

"Were talking about a small team of professionals, the type that know to keep their lips sealed on a job, not sure what the backup means though. That confirms it though, this wasn’t a random kidnapping. Who ever took your kid had an agenda. There's a lot of groups in the Commonwealth that take people, Raiders, Super mutants, The Gunners and there is the Institute." I take a shaky breath. 

"You think this Institute is responsible?" Nick shrugs his eyes locking with mine.

"They are the boogeyman of the commonwealth, something goes wrong they blame them. Then again I'm not surprised those earlier synths can tear apart whole towns. Worst of all no one knows why they do it. What their plan is or where they are. Not even me and I'm a synth myself. Well a discarded prototype anyways." Nick sighs as he stares at me sympathetically.

"Either way, I need to find Shaun." I say standing up from the chair to pace around the room. 

"You're right, speculation won't get us anywhere, let's focus on what you saw. What did these kidnappers look like?" I stopped moving looking back at Nick as I crossed my arms over my chest. "One of them came right up to me, bald head, scar across his left eye." I mutter as MacCready takes one of my hands in his.

"Wait a minute, couldn't be… You didn’t hear the name Kellogg at all did you?" I shake my head. 

"No they didn’t say their names." I say turning my back to MacCready.

"Hmm, this is all too much of a coincidence. Ellie what notes do we have on the Kellogg case?" Ellie goes over to their filing cabinet bring us a small yellow folder.

"The description matches bald head, scar. Reputation for dangerous mercenary work, no one knows who his employer is." She says her eyes scanning through her notes.

"He bought a house here in town right and he also had a kid with him didn’t he?" My heart kicked into double time as I stepped closer to Nick. 

"Yeah the house in the abandoned west stands, the kid with him was about ten years old." Ellie says frowning. 

"That has to be Shaun! I don't know how but it has to be." I cry slamming my hands on his desk.

"Don't jump the gun on me, you said we were looking for an infant. That’s a nine year difference were looking at. Look maybe it's his own kid, or someone else's either way they both vanished awhile back. Let's you and I talk a walk to Kellogg's last known address, see if we can snoop around the place a bit." I nodded turning to MacCready who held the door open for me. We stepped back out into the rain and somehow it felt fitting for the emotions running through me right now.

Together we all walked to the west stands, I watched Nick step forward trying to pick the lock. "Dang it looks like I can't get this open, why don't you give it a try." I nod crouching next to the door pulling a bobby pin from my hair and inserting it into the lock. I listen for a few clicks before I turn the knob on the door opening it. 

"You make that look easy doll." We shared a smile before I looked back at Nick who was already looking through the house. 

"This place look kinda small to you?" Nick says as we all enter the house. 

"Maybe he's got like a hidden room or some sh--- something." I nod going for the desk, seeing nothing but useless things spread all over it. I crouch down seeing a strange red button under the desk. 

"Nick I think I found something!" I call out pressing the button, I stand seeing a wall to our left open up. MacCready and I look at each other before following Nick into the room. 

"Gwinnett stout beer, Francisco sunlight's, .44 ammo?" Nick looks around glaring as I pick up a cigar. "Look at that all of a merc's favorite things." I bite my lip trembling at the thought of my son staying here with that monster.

"I have a friend that may be able to help us out. I will give him a call, you won't be able to hear the frequency but he will. Let's wait outside."


	8. Complications

Deacon  
I've been following that girl since the first time I laid eyes on her in Diamond City. I c0uldnt stop at all ever since I decided to make myself known back in Good Neighbor. It was strange but I can't lie that girl really caught my eye, She was absolutely beautiful. Long maroon hair curled down past her waist, her steel eyes sharp and calculating. She's so interesting to watch over, but that’s not the only reason im watching over her. She could become an asset to the railroad, I've seen her fighting alongside MacCready, she is a trained killer and it makes me wonder just who trained her.

I can't help but be lured to her like a moth to a flame, for people like me it's really dangerous. After what happened to Barbara, I shouldn’t even be thinking of wanting to get close to her. But curiosity led me to the state houses door, I had seen her with Mayor Hancock more than once. I wanted to know her relationship with him, just why she seemed so compelled to come back to visit him. Then just as I was going to enter the state house to see what kind of business she had with Hancock, she was already on her way out. We collided with one another, we both fell to the ground her falling onto me. I reacted instantly catching her in my arms assuring she felt no damage from the fall. 

When she sat up and looked at me with those mesmerizing eyes, that widened as she muttered her apologies and offered me her hand. I smiled at her taking it and I felt like an electric current was coursing through my veins as she pulled me from the ground. She smiled innocently and kindly as we spoke. Then just as im about to introduce myself to her, there he is just ruining everything for me. MacCready steps in and I bite my tongue to what I really want to say and settling for an insult having to do with his killing habits . To which he threw the fact that I hate being me in my face, only fueling my anger. 

As much as I want to end this like I used to, with blood and lots of it. I ignore my urges choosing to walk away from him and from her. I swear when I walked away from her in Good Neighbor I saw recognition in those eyes before she left with that murdering thief MacCready. I had turned a new leaf in my life anyways since I joined up with the Railroad, I won't ever kill needlessly like that again. I bit my tongue heading over to get some extra ammo from Daisy, waiting for them to leave before I tailed them. I watched as MacCready made any excuse to hold her close or take her hand, while she would secretly smile when she thought he wasn’t looking. 

She was falling hard and I'm sure that asshole Merc knows it. I don't want him to use her, she doesn’t deserve it. According to my Intel he has a wife and family waiting for him in the capital wasteland. So I will stop him and bring her into the Railroad with me. I was watching as she and MacCready walked to Nicks office. I watched her through my shaded glasses as she came out looking determined. 

She, Nick and MacCready all went to the abandoned west stands. Around that time is when Dogmeat passed by me heading straight for them. I walked quietly underneath the metal stairs pressing the button for my stealth-boy to turn me invisible. I watched as they all walked out together meeting Dog meat. She walked forward with a smile on her face as she knelt down to the dog petting his head as she questioned if he would help her find a man named Kellogg. I listen as the always understanding Nick offers his kind words and support about finding her lost son.

Listening to her story, it hits me hard. She had this maniac kill her husband and steal her son and they have no doubt that it is the institute. I swallow hard as she looks down past her feet through the small gaps in the metal separating us. I swear she is staring straight at me. I clench my fist keeping eye contact with her praying to god that my stealth-boy hasn’t worn off. I see her eyes soften a fraction as she smiles down at me before looking back at MacCready and Nick. She tells Nick that she and MacCready will continue this road, I feel my heart racing as her eyes keep wandering to where I am standing. 

. 

I followed them all the way into Cambridge with Dogmeat I took note of the brotherhood guys that they were bound to run into and I had to stifle a groan seeing the trouble they got themselves into. They were absolutely surrounded by feral's, I watched through my rifle as MacCready took advantage of the situation once again, pulling the scared girl towards him kissing her, to my dismay and shock she responded to the kiss. I pulled the rifle away looking at any direction but towards them, it shouldn’t have been possible for me to feel the way I did the moment I saw their lips meet. 

There was a primal urge of possession coursing through my veins, I wanted to possess her I wanted her to be mine. Seeing her with that asshole really makes me want to throw him into a mirelurk nest. I have to count to ten, calming myself before looking again to see MacCready running from a hoard. I got the feral closest to him in my sights and I hesitated even though I shouldn’t have, it knocked itself into him biting down on his arm then throat.

Avery's scream made me lose my inhibitions as I shot the Ghoul that had already taken a couple bites of him. It fell dead its body landing on top of him, I could see from here that he's struggling to stay awake. Avery is running to him panicking unsure of what to do. 

***

MacCready  
The closer we get to Kellogg the closer that Avery comes to becoming completely unraveled. Right now we are following Dog meat, Nicks dog through the Cambridge ruins finding random items that belonged to Kellogg hoping to find him. I have to admit that I'm happy she decided to bring me with her, but I'm just worried that she's going to end up making me leave her when we reach the end of this road.

The look on her face is a border between desperation and determination. After everything I heard she went through, I can't help but feel a bit useless she's suffering so much and there is nothing I can do.

"Here boy smell this, Find that bastard for me." She says softly offering Dogmeat some bandages that belonged to Kellogg. A hissing sound breaks me from my thoughts as I look around us. There are feral's everywhere, Dogmeat is whimpering quietly, while Avery holds her breath. 

"What do we do, one wrong move and we unleash the hoard on ourselves." She says softly, I shake my head thinking of a way to get us out of this. 

Maybe a hoard is exactly what we need." I murmur my brain working faster, as she looks at me like I'm crazy. 

"Now hear me out. We gather them all together and I'll throw a Molotov at them when they group together while you pick off the rest." I say stepping closer to Avery. She bites her lip clenching her fists before reaching for her rifle. We both knew how vicious feral's could be.

"Avery, if something happens… Run like hell, don't look back." Her eyes widen worriedly. 

"You can't expect me to walk away while those things tear you apart?! I won't." she threatens bordering hysterics, I place my hand over her mouth looking around us to see that we haven't gotten the attention of the beasts around us yet.

"Avery, this has been a long time coming. If it happens I'll take it happily." I say images of the death of Lucy flashing before my eyes. She doesn’t say a word only swallows hard looking away. I place my finger under her chin making her look into my eyes. 

I place a gentle kiss on her lips, I'll admit its sloppy and lacks all of my normal skill but that isn't what matters to me right now. I just want her to know what I feel for her, if one of us dies here I want her to at least know. I pull away brushing her hair away from her face as she stares at me with unreadable eyes. 

"Get ready." I say pulling away from her stepping closer to the feral's who are rallied around a body chewing it to bits. Dogmeat runs to my side his ears perked up as he lowly growls at the feral's. I smile softly before I place my fingers to my lips using them to whistle as loudly as I can gathering their attention. I hear multiple growls as their heads raise. Dogmeat immediately takes off after one tackling it to the ground ripping its throat out.

"Hey there, looks like you found a new meal. Come and get me!" I call out steadily walking backwards as they approach me like a predator stalking their prey. Part of me sees only what happened to Lucy, I don't want that to happen to Avery. Then a gunshot rings in my ears and one of the closer ghouls falls down tripping a few other behind it. 

"RUN MACCREADY!" Avery screams as she shoots another one getting ready to launch itself at me. I don't waste any time turning and sprinting for the trees. I pull a bottle of whiskey from the side of my pack, I pull the cap off stuffing a cloth inside before slipping my lighter from my pocket. I try my hardest to keep the flame lit. The growls are getting louder and I curse stopping in my tracks getting the lighter to stay lit long enough to set the cloth on fire. I spin around getting tackled by a feral just after I throw the Molotov at the group that had gathered behind me.

"GET OFF OF ME." I hiss kicking my foot up into its stomach stopping it from biting into my throat. That didn’t stop it for long as it aimed for a new target and sunk its rotted teeth into my arm. I bit back a scream as it pulled away from me and at this point I didn’t have the strength to stop it. It latched on to my shoulder like a goddamn leach and had me screaming out in pain this time. 

"MacCready!" Avery screams another shot ringing out as the feral goes limp in my arms. I manage to push it off of me after a few tries and I can't help but let my head fall back against the concrete beneath me, I can feel the blood pouring from my arm and shoulder. I blink several times trying to get my vision to focus. But no matter what I try they won't, I can see black spots marring my vision. I close my eyes feel the rain gently falling on my face. 

"MacCready, please! Open your eyes!" I could barely hear Avery's voice, she sounded so far away. I felt so weak I couldn't concentrate, I just let myself fall into the abyss. I'll see you soon Lucy.


	9. Whiskey, smoke and the stars above

Avery  
He's bleeding out right in front of me and there isn't anything I can do about it. The stimpacks aren't working, he needs a doctor…. I look around us and the closest building is Cambridge police station. Then I felt it, I knew he had been tailing me since I saw that look in his eyes in Good Neighbor. I watch as Deacon comes running towards us.

"Avery! Are you alright?" He questions pulling some make shift gauze from his pack and tying them to MacCready's wounds to stop the bleeding. 

"Y-yes, MacCready… he's hurt bad." I whisper my blood stained hands shaking. I feel like I'm about to lose it, then Deacon takes my hand in his making me look up at him. 

"It's okay, we need to get him to the Cambridge police station. There are people there who can help. Don't worry Avery, I'm here for you." He says as kindly as he can and I look up at him with tear filled eyes. 

"Thank you so much Deacon." I whisper as we both reach down helping MacCready stand so he's leaning against both of us. Deacon takes most of the weight helping me drag my partner to the police station. 

"I've got MacCready, you need to clear the way for us!" Deacon says lifting MacCready away from me. I nodded to him raising my rifle and shooting down all the feral's that tried to approach Deacon and MacCready.

"Behind you!" Deacon calls out making me spin around hitting the Ghoul with the bottom of my rifle forcing it back as Dogmeat comes and tackles it out of my way. He tears it to shreds as our feet. Deacon sighs in relief as we finally make it into the police station parking lot. The police station has a group of people already fighting off feral's. Dogmeat barks loudly getting the attention of everyone in the group. 

"Help please help me!" I called out instantly a woman was running to Deacon's side helping carry MacCready up the stairs to the police station.

"Let's get him inside where he will be safe!" The woman says to Deacon as they disappear inside. I run after them watching as they take him to a bed in a secluded room, carefully they lay him down. She runs to a first aid kit grabbing gauze to cover the wound and med-x so that he won't be hurting anymore. 

"I'll take care of him just please go help Paladin Danse!" I nod letting her take care of him as Deacon and I run back outside. I lift my rifle once more crouching at the top of the stairs. I aim at the feral's surrounding a man wearing power armor as Deacon pulls out a laser rifle shooting the ferals getting inside the gate. Paladin Danse looks over his shoulder at us for a moment before he's focusing on shooting the feral's surrounding him. He's using a laser rifle that is turning the majority of feral's around him into dust. Dogmeat lunges at another one before it can get its hands on that Paladin. 

Just when I think were done fighting here I get tackled by a feral. My gun slides down the steps of the police station and I'm stuck just holding it back as it clamps its jaws at me. I hold it back turning my face to the side so it won't get any closer. I look over to see the man in power armor running to my side dragging the feral off of me. I lunge for my gun shooting the feral as the stranger holds it for me. Deacon runs to me right then making me sigh happily that nothing happened to him. 

"Um… we have a problem." Deacon says nodding towards the gate. Then out of nowhere we hear more hissing our heads turning towards the small gate that allows entry into the police station, to see a hoard of feral's gathered there. 

Danse and Deacon both curse looking at each other before Danse pulls out a grenade throwing it at their feet as they rush inside, a few moments pass and there is limps flying everywhere. Danse crouches down and leans over me so I won't feel the impact of the blast. While Deacon is left to fend for himself. When it's over we turn around shooting the stragglers that weren't caught in the blast. After a few minutes we were killing the last feral's making Paladin Danse turn to Deacon and I. 

"Thanks for the assist civilians, but what is your business here?" I sit on the ground looking up at him utterly exhausted as Deacon leans his head against one of the columns holding the police station roof in place. Dogmeat whimpers as he sits between my legs as he lays his head on my knee.

"My companion was bitten by a feral, I don't know how to help him… this was the closest place." I murmured my voice breaking as I placed my face in my hands. I could feel Deacon step closer his hands going to my shoulders in a comforting manner.

"Who are you, are you from a local settlement?" He questions taking a few steps closer to inspect us.

"My name is Avery Moore, I'm from Vault 111 up north by Sanctuary. My companion the wounded one he is MacCready he's from Sanctuary." I lie making him nod as he takes in my words. Before long his chocolate brown eyes are narrowing, their target is our shade wearing friend… Deacon. 

"I'm Deacon born and raised in Diamond City my family used to herd the Brahmin in the pens up there." He says coolly, I look up at him from the corner of my eyes knowing full well it’s a lie. His voice wavered slightly not enough for Danse to notice but enough for me to know he was. What makes me curious is why lie? Also why follow me? I should be thanking him, because right now MacCready is getting medical treatment from these people. Danse hums softly before turning back to me. 

 

"I'm sorry if I sound suspicious, it's just that ever since we got to the Commonwealth we've been constantly under fire." I laugh softly nodding making Deacon turn to me surprised. 

 

"Yeah I feel you, this place is a disaster." he nods in agreement before offering me his hand. I take it as he helps me stand and leads us inside. I see the woman from earlier leaning over MacCready patching up his wounds. I run to his side taking his hand in mine kissing it, my hands were still slick with his blood, I was staining his skin with it. Dogmeat crawls under his bed curling up so he's there for MacCready. I swallow the lump in my throat as I lay my head against MacCreadys shoulder. 

"You can't die, please. I don't know what I would do without you…" I whisper as MacCready groans quietly his hand reaching to pet my hair. Deacon sucks in a breath before walking back outside of the police station. 

"Haylen, Rhys. This is Avery and her companion Deacon, the one who walked out just now. MacCready is the one who is wounded. Avery these are my soldiers, Knights Rhys and Haylen." Danse says making the woman smile warmly at me, while the man Rhys glared me down. 

"It's nice to meet you both, thank you so much for your help." I say softly offering my gratitude.

 

"If you want to keep helping out, I could use an extra gun. Haylen and Rhys will take care of your companion in the mean time." I look up to the woman who was treating his wounds. 

" Please save him…." I murmur taking one last look at him before looking up at Danse.

"Whatever you need, I'll go with you." He smiled, just at that moment Deacon walked back in. 

"I'm going too, since your friend there is a bit out of commission. What do you say you want me on deck?" He says and I really wish I could look into his eyes, I cant read him and that worries me. MacCready when I look into his eyes I see, honesty, pain, and above all violence. I know that no matter what he does the way he carries himself he isn't a liar. While his morals aren't the best, I know him… I trust him. But I don't know Deacon… or Danse for that matter and the thought itself worries me. 

"D-don't go Avery." MacCready whispers as he looks up at me dazed. 

"Look at that sleeping beauty finally woke up." Deacon mutters sarcastically. 

"Fuc--shut the hell up Deacon, before I kick your ass." MacCready growls his dazed eyes narrowing towards the black haired man behind us. 

Deacon grins a laugh escaping his lips. "Oh you look so menacing right now MacCready… as menacing as a baby mole rat…" I start picturing the thought of a little one of those things and I can't help but laugh with Deacon who comes to stand next to us. 

"Really doll you too?" MacCready groans as he covers his eyes with his arm.

"I'm sorry but I feel like a baby mole rat would be cute." I say making MacCready move his arm and look up at me with his signature smile. 

"I still don't want you to go." He says his hand reaching for mine. I lace our fingers together placing a kiss against his knuckles. 

"Hey, hey it'll be okay. I will be back before you know it. Just worry about getting better. Besides Deacon will have my back." I whisper looking up at the unnerving man standing next to me silently fuming as I keep running my fingers through MacCready's chocolate colored locks trying to sooth him. He shakes his head his grip on my hand tightening.

"Avery, no. He's brotherhood of steel, they're bad news." he mutters quiet enough for only me to hear him. 

"Explain to me when they leave us… for now I have no choice." I whisper softly making MacCready frown but nod.

"Close your eyes and rest, I'll be here the entire time." he nods laying his head back, his eye lids fluttering shut as the grip on my hand falters allowing me to slip from his grasp. I slid Nate's ring off of my right hand and slid it on to MacCready's ring finger.

"Try and sleep now." I whisper placing a gentle kiss on his forehead before I turning towards my new temporary companions. 

"You can spend the night here with him, and we can head out in the morning when his condition has improved." Danse said as he looked over at his friends nodding for them to leave the room. Deacon crosses his arms and looks at me ruefully.

"I'm gonna head outside for a smoke, I'll probably camp out, out there and keep an eye on things in case more feral's come around. I'll be on the roof if I'm needed." Deacon says his lips pressed into a hard line. 

"Deacon you can sleep in here, come back after your smoke… okay?" He opens his mouth to say something but thinks twice of it before turning his back to me and walking outside. I want to go after him and talk to him. I don't know why but I have the need to stop him and bring him back. The need to see what he's hiding behind those shades, I want to see the story his eyes will tell me. It frustrates me that he keeps them covered, just as I am about to follow after him I hear MacCready speak. 

 

"Avery…" MacCready whispers frowning as he turns his head to face me. I watch the Deacon leave dejectedly before turning back to MacCready who seems to disobey any order and refuses to rest. 

"Yes?" I respond bleakly, a bit confused as I turn back to him feeling him tug on my hand. 

"Get in here with me, I won't feel good enough to rest until I'm sure you will stay with me." I sigh softly standing and undressing down to my dark purple night shorts and undershirt. 

"Damn…" He mutters his eyes wandering down my body. I roll my eyes as I fold his clothes and set them next to the bed. 

"You act like you’ve never seen a woman in night clothes before." I laugh as I crawl into MacCready's bed being mindful of his wounds. 

"I've seen women in less than that and none of them compare to you…" He says softly wincing as he moves his wounded arm and shoulder to allow me to lie next to him. 

"Well thank you Mr. MacCready." I murmured making a hint of a smile appear on his tired face. I curled against him as he laid his non wounded arm around my hips. His big cerulean eyes landing on the ring I had slid on to his finger, I watched his expression shift quickly to despair. 

 

"Is that… Nate's ring?" I nod one of my hands reaching subconsciously to feel the steel of the golden band around MacCready's finger. His fingers intertwine with mine, his other hand reaches for my cheek. 

"Yeah, it's my way of showing you that even if I go on that mission with Danse, I will come back for it." His large calloused hand is warm against my cheek as he strokes it softly. He gently brings my face forward until his lips meet mine. I can't deny that I like his kisses the way he makes me feel protected and wanted. I tilt my head deepening the kiss running my tongue along his lower lip asking for entrance. 

He chuckles softly against my lips before parting his own his tongue instantly clashing against mine. His hands tighten around me as his tongue plays with mine dancing with one another as we explore whatever it is developing between us. MacCready pulls away from me placing a few more kisses against my lips before he forces me to look into his eyes again. 

"If you get involved with the brotherhood of steel it won't end well doll, they almost destroyed the capital wasteland that’s one of the reasons why I came here." He gently scolds, I run my fingers down his lips meeting his cerulean gaze. 

"They saved you, I will do anything to repay that debt." MacCready frowns sighing a bit frustrated. 

"That isn't your debt to pay." He snaps making me lean forward placing a kiss on his chin making him huff.

"It became my debt when I brought you here for help, I'll get Danse whatever he needs and we will figure out what to do with Deacon, then we can go kill Winlock and Barnes." His eyebrows furrow as he looks at me confused…

"What about Shaun? Finding Kellogg? Isn't that why we made this insane trip in the first place? To find your son?" I look away swallowing hard. 

"If Kellogg wanted Shaun dead he would have killed him rather than taken him, I don't know if im ready to face Kellogg. If I'm ready to see Shaun. It's all too soon, so I'm going to wander and make sure I can handle myself in this place before I go after Shaun." 

I mutter, there is a chance that the little boy that was with him is Shaun… if it was then he would be ten years old already…. He doesn’t know me anymore. What if he doesn’t want to come back with me… what if he doesn’t believe me. I feel the tears burn in my eyes as his eyebrows shoot up as he stares at me surprised. I don't want to see the judgment in his eyes so I slip from the bed making him open his mouth to stop me.

"I'm gonna go check on Deacon." I say leaving him with Dogmeat without another word. I pick up MacCready's duster slipping it over my shoulders as I step walk through the Police station running into Danse who has decided to step out of his power armor. He turns around to look at me, I suppress a shiver as his eyes trail down my body. He stares at me more with curiosity than anything as he raises an eyebrow.

"Can't sleep?" I nod tightening MacCready's jacket around me.

"Yeah I was looking for Deacon, can you tell me how I can get on the roof?" Danse nods pointing towards the door on the far end of the hall. 

"It's that door, it leads to the staircase that will take you upstairs." Danse says rummaging through some of his supplies pulling out a black fleece blanket. 

"Here take this with you, it's cold out." I smiled wrapping it around me. "Thank you very much, Danse I really appreciate it." He chuckles softly a smile spreading over his face giving him a more youthful look.

"It’s the least I could do for the assist you gave us. I will have Haylen check on MacCready periodically." I smile stepping forward and pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. 

"Good night Paladin." I say walking towards the door to the roof feeling the cold concrete against the pads of my feet. 

As I'm leaving I hear a quiet "Good night Miss Avery." I head up the stairs wearing the blanket like a shawl while I open the door to the roof. 

My eyes landed on Deacon who was sitting on the ground a bottle of whiskey opened next to him as he blows out the smoke to his cigarette into the night sky. I watch as the white smoke swirls and mingles with the wind before it disappears completely. I shut the door quietly behind me as I walk up to his side looking up at the stars in the sky. 

"Hey sweetheart, come to keep me company?" He questioned not even bothering to look in my direction as he took another drag of his cigarette. 

"Yeah, I did, I hope you don't mind." Deacon pats the spot next to him on his yellow sleeping bag.

"Have a seat and have a drink." He says scooting over, I take his invitation because curiosity is driving me, that and the need to avoid MacCready for a while. I take the bottle lifting it to my lips taking a big drink not even flinching at the taste. Deacon raises an eyebrow but says nothing as we watch the ruined city around us. 

"So, you gonna tell me why you’ve been following me around since Diamond City?" I question as he takes a drink from the bottle. 

"You interest me… isn't that good enough?" I shrug my shoulders stealing the bottle from his hands and taking another large drink. Deacon flicks the butt of his cigarette before he lights up another one letting it hang from his lips as he finally looks over at me. I'm compelled to remove those shades, the need that surges through me gives me the courage I need to reach up to Deacons glasses only to have his hand clamp down on my wrist.

I lean forward using my free hand to steal his cigarette putting it to my lips taking a long drag. I inhaled the burning ash closing my eyes for a moment, I felt dizzy almost like I was floating. 

"Hey!" He complains, making me smile as I open my eyes watching him again. His hand slips from my wrist reaching for the cigarette this time. It allows me to pull his shades off, I stared into his deep forest green eyes in surprise. His eyes are wide and I giggle because not only is the whiskey hitting me hard, but I find it funny that Deacon would hide his eyes when they are so beautiful. 

"Got something to laugh about, sweetheart?" He pouts, his lips pursing and his eyes narrowing .

"S' nothing, You’ve got really nice eyes." I say softly setting his shades down. He smiles a faint blush filling his cheeks as he looks away. 

"You do too." He whispers making me grin. Our eyes lock again and I crawl in front of him kneeling so his eyes are level with mine.

"But I'd really like my shades back." He murmurs reaching around me to grab them, I stop his hand." 

"You cover your eyes… because you are trying to hide who you really are… is that it? You are scared that if you show your eyes that someone will see who you really are and not just the bullshit lies you feed them." I whisper watching his eyes widen sadly, he drops the cigarette leaving it lying uselessly close by. 

"Sweetheart, I think you’re a bit too drunk." I shake my head running my fingertips down his face curiously. 

"You know, I think you like avoiding anything that gets too real, because you are scared that if it becomes real, you have something to lose. From that look in your eyes I can see you’ve lost too much." Deacon took in a shaky breath as he stared into my eyes. Then I feel him pull me close his hand tight around my forearm. I look into forest eyes confused and slightly dizzy.

I feel Deacons hand on my cheek as he leans closer knocking the bottle of whiskey over. I turn my head to look at it only to be brought under his mesmerizing gaze once more. My heart speeds up as Deacon leans closer his breath fanning against my lips. The scent of whiskey and burning ash fills my nose. His eyes are focused on my lips and with trembling hands I grab his wrists. But that doesn’t stop him, he leans even closer his lips barely brushing mine. 

"Deacon…" I whisper softly and I feel the goosebumps rising on his skin. 

"Don't say my name like that unless you don't want me to let you walk away right now." He hoarsely mutters closing his eyes as I suck in a sharp breath smelling the scent of Deacons cologne, I cant lie its hitting me hard as he brings his lips closer still. His lips run gently against mine only barely grazing them before he's pulling away from me leaving me, needy and a bit disappointed. He stands looking out at the night sky. 

"Let's do something fun." He says offering me his hand, I blink confused by his change in attitude. 

"What do you have in mind?" He smiles as I put my hand in his allowing him to lift me from the floor. 

"Let's find a nice song to listen to on that pip-boy of yours and let's dance." I laugh softly looking at it and turning it to the classical music station. Deacon then offers me his hand once more, I grin taking it allowing him to pull me closer. One of his hands strays to my waist while the other stays in my own. Slowly we begin to waltz, I find it strange that anyone in this time knows this dance but all the same I feel a wave of nostalgia . The last time I danced like this was with Nate on our wedding day. 

I wrapped my arms around Deacons neck laying my head on his chest as we slowly swayed to the music. At times he would pull away just to allow me to spin, then pull me back to him dipping me back so we could stare into each other's eyes. We spent hours in that embrace swaying as song after song played, I had never felt so calm and at peace since I got here. Finally when it was hitting close to midnight I pulled away. 

"Thank you Dee, I haven't danced like that in a while." Deacon smiled at the nickname. 

"Anytime you wanna do this again, let me know." I bite my lip nodding trying not to blush.

"I should go check on MacCready." I watch as his eyes darken hatefully. 

"Try to get some rest sweetheart, we have to go with Danse tomorrow." He says turning his back to me, I feel like he's closing me off from him. He reaches for his shades putting them back over his eyes again. I can't help the wave of sadness I feel.

I don't say a word as I pick up my blanket and walk back towards the stairs that will lead me to MacCready's room. When I walk past this time Haylen is the only one awake as Danse and Rhys are sleeping close by. She gave me small wave as I walked past her, I went back to MacCready who was sitting with a back against the wall a frown etched into his features. 

"Doll, what happened? I thought you were just going to check on Deacon…" I step closer and his eyes scan mine. 

"Are you drunk?" He questions as he lets out an irritated sigh. 

"Yeah a bit." I say dropping MacCready's duster by his clothes. 

"What happened between you and Deacon?" He asks emotionless as he stares at the floor. 

"We got drunk, talked and he danced with me for hours." MacCready scoffed. 

"I'll bet that is exactly what you did." He hissed sarcastically, I raised an eyebrow. 

"Excuse me? Are you actually implying that I went up there and fucked Deacon on the roof. " MacCready gritted his teeth not saying a word. 

"You actually think that…" I took a deep breath. I walked over to my things placing MacCready's hat on top of where I placed his clothes. I took my backpack walking towards the jail cells. I lay down on one of the beds closing my eyes in frustration.


	10. arguments

Deacon  
After Avery left I berated myself for letting it get that far. But I also berated myself for not kissing her, because part of me knew she was willing. She wouldn’t have pulled away had I actually kissed her. We spent most of the night dancing though and I really felt my heart flutter as I held her to me. We swayed together our night spent smoking and drinking as we talked about ourselves.

I told her lie after lie and she called my bullshit every time. Part of me was relieved that she would be able to pick out every lie that came from my lips. She told me about her life, how she used to work for the military before the world went to hell. How when she came back things between her and Nate were never the same. She got pregnant with Shaun and Nate never laid a hand on her again. 

She told me she didn’t care, that even if he no longer felt that way about her, that she was happy because they had a beautiful baby boy. I told her about my time spent in the capital wasteland when I was young. I told her about my old friend the lone wanderer a woman who had helped the whole wasteland. I mention how I ran into her back at rivet city, I watched the whole tear filled reunion with her father. He was trying to purify the water for the wasteland, a noble cause that got him killed and left her alone. I told her how I hitched a ride with the caravan and ended up here. 

She listens as i talk about Barbra,that we wanted kids, that she was killed, I didn’t mention anything about her being a synth. It was nice listening to her stories about what life was like for her back before the war. Her voice was soothing as she happily told me how her first year of having Shaun went. Then her steel eyes, they dimmed as she explained completely how he was stolen from her. I looked at her in admiration, because she suffered so much and yet here she is making her life and trying to find her son. 

I really did like Avery, she knew so much from one glance into my eyes, and I didn’t want to let go. This life of mine is so lonely, yet she looked behind the façade I show to everyone else. She saw me and she didn’t run, she held me close and beckoned me to allow her to see everything else I had to show her. 

When morning came I went back downstairs walking past the tin-can paladin and his group going to check on Avery and MacCready. When I got there Avery was nowhere in sight and MacCready was brooding, his mood souring more as I entered the room. 

"Where's Avery?" I question making MacCreadys murderous glare turn to me. 

"Shouldn’t I be asking you that, I mean you two slept together after all." I blinked at MacCready confused, had Avery told him she had been with me…? 

"Did Avery say that?" I ask evading his question which makes him angrier.

"She didn’t have to… Her coming back to me drunk last night was enough of a red flag." I laugh because god this kid can't get any stupider, he really thinks that Avery would just fuck me and what… go back to him…? That’s stupid, if she was ever with me she wouldn’t even think of going back to someone like MacCready. 

"Oh MacCready, Don't tell me…. you're jealous because she likes me more than your lying, thieving, murderous self?" MacCready stood up wincing, his wounds opening up just a bit. I rolled my eyes crossing my arms as MacCready tried to look intimidating in his weakened state. 

"If I could Deacon, I'd kill you for laying a hand on her. She isn't someone you can just toy with. She doesn’t deserve that." He's right, but im not the one playing here. His words make me laugh again as I step closer to him leaning so I can whisper in his ear.

"You really missed out MacCready, you should have seen the way she begged me to take her. Face flushed, panting and moaning my name beneath me as I utterly wrecked her. The way she fucking whimpered as I forced myself deeper inside her." I lied through my teeth noticing that MacCready couldn't see past his jealousy. I backed up out of his way instantly as he threw a punch at me missing completely and making a new wave of blood stain his new gauzes. 

"What the hell is going on MacCready… you should be resting rather than starting a fight." Avery hisses as she walks into the room in a lot less clothes than last night. She was wearing a raider harness with a set of armor over her chest and upper arms. I could see her toned stomach as it peeked out from the harness that only covered her breasts. Her pants were tight against her long legs Her maroon hair was braided laying casually over her shoulder reaching past her hips. 

"Wow, you clean up nice sweetheart." I compliment before my mind can even catch up with my mouth. 

"Thanks Dee." She smiles softly before her eyes narrow at MacCready.

"Already you are defending him and blaming me for everything." He hissed at her and I felt somewhat guilty for getting between them.

"He's right, I started it sweetheart." I say and her eyes soften as she looks over at me with those large steel eyes. She says nothing making the room absolutely uncomfortable with the silence that has been cast over the room. Thankfully the paladin chooses now to make his entrance either not noticing the awkward silence or blatantly ignoring it.

"So are we ready to head out." Danse says looking between Avery and I. I turn my head towards Avery who is already nodding.

"We will be back soon, don't wait up." I say waving to MacCready who flicks me off. I grin looping my arm through Avery's. She looks up at me curiously but doesn’t push me away and allows me to lead her out the door behind Danse.


	11. Call To Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a long chapter. I hope everyone is enjoying please let me know what you think of the story :)

Avery 

"Our mission, is going to be going to Arc Jet Systems . They have a deep range transmitter that will allow us to contact the brotherhood for back up. We will be taking the always, there will be less of a chance of us running into the larger packs of feral's." Danse says as we all walk together. I have to admit it feels strange having someone other than MacCready backing me up. I look around at the ruined road around us and sighed, I still haven't gotten used to the fact that this is the world I live in now. 

"Is something wrong Civilian?" I look over Danse for a moment.. I had to bite back another sigh as I look away just as quickly. 

"I just haven't gotten used to this place, I look around me and I keep hoping that it's just a dream, but every time I wake up im still here." I say softly as I stare at a group of Pulowski nuclear shelters. I look over at Deacon to see him reading a strange book I can't tell if he is listening but I am sure he is.

"I don't think I understand." He mutters confused.

"I was stuck in a cryogenic vault, I just got out a few weeks ago." He turned to me stunned chocolate brown eyes lighting up with surprise. 

"You were alive before the war?" I nod a small smile reaching my face as I turn Danse happily. 

"Wow, when we finish this mission. Would you mind telling me what it was like?" I chuckle softly walking next to him as Deacon strayed a bit behind us. 

"Yeah I'd be happy to." I say as we continue our walk. 

"Shhh, I hear something." We all stop and I lift my rifle to my eyes seeing a group of raiders gathered under the broken down bridge in front of us. Deacon puts his book away reaching for a 10mm pistol. 

"Danse, Deac, there are five raiders up ahead… You think we can take them down?" I hear Danse hum for a moment. 

"Yeah, it shouldn’t be difficult with us three." Dee says as he aims his pistol at one of the raiders. 

"Take the shot, it will take them a moment to find where we are. Kill as many as you can, your friend and I will get the rest." Danse says, I nod my head scanning the weapons of all the raiders to know which one of them would do the most damage if I leave them alive. I see a few pipe pistols, knives, bats but one catches my eye. She has a combat shotgun, I really need that, it would help a lot more than my sniper. I hold my breath aiming for her head. 

"Now, Avery." Danse murmured softly making me squeeze the trigger watching as her head shattered to pieces. The others started panicking as soon as she fell. I caught another one in my cross-hairs shooting them in the legs while Danse runs in shooting them down with his laser rifle. Deacon stays close to me shooting down anyone who gets too close to Danse with the three of us together we take them all down quickly.  
"Nice work, Civilian." He smiles back at me with admiration in his eyes. 

"You're not too bad yourself, Paladin." I smirk walking past him to the bodies of the raiders going for the woman I had seen with the combat shotgun. 

"That’s a hell of a find, although I prefer laser weapons." Danse says leaning over my shoulder to see the gun I'm stealing off the raiders corpse. 

"Thanks, Dee you mind helping me out?" I say raising my head to Deacon who kneels next to me searching through the bodies for anything useful. 

"Take your time, I'll keep an eye on our surroundings." Danse says looking away as I dig through the other raiders things finding quite a few shotgun shells and other odds and ends that I can sell. I see Deacon shoving quite a few things into his pack before slinging it into his pack. 

"Shall we continue to Arc Jet?" I question standing and dusting my clothes off as I look back to Danse and Deacon. 

When we enter Arc Jet everything is messy and destroyed, Deacon walks around looking for things we can take while Danse leads me through the facility allowing us to stop inside of a storage room. There were bodies of dismembered protectron's strewn across the floor. 

"Look at these wrecks, it appears as though the facilities automated system has already been dealt with." He noted a frown etching into his features. 

"What does that mean?" I say stealing a circuit board.

"Look at the evidence, there isn't a single spent ammunition casing, or a drop of blood in sight. These robots where assaulted by institute synths." I took a deep breath looking over at Danse in shock. 

"What are synths? Aren't they just robots?" Danse shakes his head his eyes scanning the room. 

"They are an abusive technology created by the institute. Abominations meant to "improve" upon humanity. It's unacceptable, they simply cannot be allowed to exist." He says ushering me forward into the hallway.

"I'll be on the lookout." I responded as we made it to another messy room. 

"Roger that lets move out. This place is a mess but I do see a few things that the brotherhood could salvage that may be of interest to them. After we are done here I will have to mark this place for sweep and retrieve." He continued as we passed a few broken down windows, the floor was filled with papers and debris everywhere. 

"Looks like a dead end, see what you can do about getting that door open… I'm going to reconnoiter the area." I nod to Danse as I walk towards the terminal in the middle of the room, I try logging on the computer only to find out that I need a password. I curse quietly looking up as Deacon finally comes back over to us and looks over my shoulder. 

"If you need help with that, I could take a look at it?" He says his cheek slightly brushing against mine, I can feel myself blush as I quickly stand from the chair allowing him to take my place.

"Sure, if you can get on to it let me know, in the mean time im gonna see if that password is around here somewhere." I say as I walk to the other terminal in the room, I look through the desk. I pick up all the papers strewn about looking at them but none of them are what im looking for. 

"Hey sweetheart, says here that, there is a password change done every week, for security purposes. That terminal your sitting at should be able to generate a new password for me." I hum softly taking a seat at the terminal watching as it logs itself in and allows me to see the password generation. I looked around for anything I could write with and sighed.

"The password is 7823-tf6." I called out to Deacon listening to his fingertips tapping against the computers keys. 

"Open sesame." He smirks pressing the enter key on the keyboard before him. The large door in the middle of the room begins to open slowly.

"SYNTHS! DESTROY THEM ALL!" Danse calls out to us, I crouch under a ruined desk close by pulling out the combat shotgun I had stolen earlier. I watch in shock as two robots who look like a human skeleton step out with laser pistols. Behind them two more step out looking like they are made of metal but these look like mannequins. I look over at Deacon to see him frowning before he raises his pistol shooting down one of the mannequin like synths.

I stand awaiting for a synth to get closer, when it does I shoot it at point blank range watching as specific gears and screws fall to the ground destroying the Synths body completely. After it lied destroyed at my feet, I was pushed down to the ground by another synth. The laser pistol was aimed directly to my head but it didn’t take the shot. It just sat staring at me with its yellow ringed eyes. Something was definitely wrong here but I paid no attention, I hit the synth with the bottom of my gun pushing it away from me before taking a shot at its head. 

"What was that about?" Deacon whispered as we both looked up to Danse who was finishing off the last one.

"I don't know… it looked like it just froze up when it saw me." I whispered back looking at Deacon helplessly.

"Don't mention it to the tin-can paladin over there." He says before looking up as Danse finishes killing the synth and smiling happily at us. 

"Shall we?" He says making us both nod as we jog up behind him. The room Deacon opened was messy with a few metal cabinets. There was a large hole in the wall that led into a hallway, Danse went first while I followed behind Deacon. The hallway was a bit narrow so Danse had to sidle through until we reached a large room with a broken down walkway.

"I'm gonna take a look around. You two go on ahead." Deacon said waving his hand at us as he walked away. I sighed softly nodding at him as he walked into an adjacent room. Danse led me upstairs and into a room that had a giant hole in the ground. 

"You do know where this deep range transmitter is right?" I inquired as I ran up next to Danse walking next to him down into another hallway.

"Yes I have a tracker, from what I know it's in the subbasement where we have just reached." He said gesturing to the door at the end of the hallway. 

"Well let's get this thing and get you some back up at the police station." I say as Danse pulls out his laser rifle and I pull out my combat shotgun. Together we walk down the empty debris filled hallway until we reach a broken down metal walkway. Danse and I looked into each other's eyes before looking back at the walkway.

"uh.. I don't mean to be you know…the pessimist… but I feel like you may just break that." I admitted softly making Danse bite his lip in thought. 

"Why don't you go first. Once you are safely down, I'll see if it'll hold my weight." I smiled up at Danse while he walked me forward. He offered me his hand, I placed my hand in his. I slowly took a few steps onto the metal stairs. I stood for a moment before slipping my hands from Danse's. I placed one hand on the wall walking down the stairs taking slow cautious step until I reach a broken down part of the walkway. I sigh softly before backing up a few feet and taking off running and leaping down to the lower part of the walkway. At this point I was close enough to the ground that I could just vault over the railing and land on the ground. 

"DANSE! YOU CAN COME DOWN NOW!" I called up to him to see him peak his head through the door before beginning his decent down the stairs. I walked into another area that has a window looking out to where Danse is just barely reaching the ground floor. I sit down at the terminal next to me trying to remember how I used to hack terminals back when I was in the military. I placed my fingertips against the keys closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. 

Slowly my fingers move forward from memory as I pull up the hacking screen. I look up seeing the options for possible passwords, I remove all the duds I can before looking at the last five options.

"Hidden, shroud, systems, continuously, endings." I whisper clicking continuously first, only to see one of my tries run out. I grit my teeth clicking systems next, the computer beeps signaling that it wasn’t the correct one either. I slammed my fist on the table, I clicked shroud listening as the computer beeped again allowing me into the computer. I read through seeing an option to mess with the power options. I click the button to start the auxiliary power and stand up seeing a red button next to the window. I pressed the button before looking up at Danse who was getting attacked by institute synths.

"Danse!" I call out banging on the glass. Shit! Shit! I ran back to the door that I entered only to see it blocked and dead bolted. I banged on the door trying to get it open, when it didn’t work I ran back to the window to see the space ship test running. I watched the flame from the ship engulfed the room leaving Danse kneeling in the middle of the ground wounded. The synths all burned away but Danse didn’t move, I had to sit there and wait until the room was completely free of flames. I took a deep shaky breath watching as the locks on the door disengaged. I ran to Danse's side taking his hands in mine. 

"Danse… Danse look at me. Oh my god, are you alright?" I questioned softly pressing my hand to his cheek. He blinks his eyes up at me drowsily while I wipe some of the ash smeared on his cheek off. 

"Got…got cooked by the flames, thanks to my power armor I'm still in one piece. The important thing is that we are still alive." He groans placing a hand over mine and attempts to stand up while I take a step back to give him room. 

"We have a way to get the transmitter now, why don't we go." He says brushing his armor off before looking over at the elevator. I head first pressing the button and listening to a robotic voice say that the elevator is on its way down. The doors opened up and I had to bide back a sigh at how small the elevator was. I entered leaning against the wall closest to the elevator buttons while Danse pressed himself against the opposite wall. We both stared at each other not saying a word until the elevator beeped signaling that we could get out. 

"Ladies first." He says making me laugh quietly.

"Thank you Paladin." I murmur watching Danse grin as I step out of the elevator walking down the hallway. 

"If we get this thing and get back to the police station in one piece I'd like to make you a proposition." Danse says making me look up at him.

"What kind of proposition?" I pondered raising an eyebrow. 

"One that I don't believe you should walk away from. It could be very beneficial to both you and me." I hum in agreement for a moment before pulling out my shotgun.

"I'll have to get back to you on that then." I say quietly as we walk into a large room with 5 synths inside. I run inside hiding behind a filing cabinet as blue lasers fill the room. 

"AD VICTORIAM!" Danse yells making me smile despite the fact that we are being shot at. I reload my gun quickly and take a peak over the side of the cabinet to see a synth coming up behind Danse. I aim directly at its head before taking the shot, parts of metal are spraying all over the ground while Danse turns looking behind himself in shock. I don't stop there, I shoot it another two times for good measure before I look over at the other synths.

One of them runs up with a shock baton, it's too fast for me to stop it. He hits me in the arm making me hiss in pain as an electric current runs through my whole body. The place where I got hit is badly burned leaving a large red mark on my skin. I look up in time to see him about to strike me again, when he's shot in the chest by an institute laser rifle. 

"Did I miss the party?" Deacon questions as he enters through the door that Danse and I had come through. 

"Deacon!" I heaved a sigh of relief at the sight of him, I tried lifting my arm back to my gun only to wince in pain.

"Stay here, we will take care of the rest of them." Deacon says lowering me to the ground so I'm leaned up against the cabinet that I had been hiding behind. My whole arm feels like it's on fire, it stings horribly. I try my best to ignore the pain opting to listen to the gunshots as my companions take over the fight. 

"You know bullets cost money! Can we just pay you to play dead!?" Deacon called out making me chuckle as I sit staring at the huge blister on my arm wondering just what I could use to fix it. Soon the sounds of gunshots is over and both Danse and Deacon run to my side.

"How are you holding up civilian?" Danse says taking my arm gently inspecting the damage. "A stimpack will reduce the swelling, I will wrap it for you and have Haylen take a better look when we get back." He pulls out a stimpack injecting it in my shoulder. I sigh as the pain in my arm dulls down to a mild throbbing. 

"Thank you Danse." I whisper as he pulls out some gauze and begins wrapping my arm. Deacon stands without a word going through the remains of the synths. After Danse is finished he stands offering me his hand and pulling me to my feet. He picks up my gun placing it over my shoulder with a small smile. 

"I really do hope that helped Avery." I felt my face flush slightly at how attentive Danse was being with me.

"It did thank you again Danse." I said nervously picking at the end of my braid.

"You two can quit flirting now, I have the transmitter." Deacon says standing awkwardly with the transmitter in hand. Danse coughs to mask his discomfort as he walks over to Deacon taking the transmitter from him. 

"Let's get back to the police station." Danse says opening the doors of the elevator and gesturing for me to enter. I smile awkwardly at both of them before going into the elevator, Deacon followed behind me and suddenly when Danse entered we realized how small the elevator really was. Deacon was forced up against me both hands planted on either side of my head, his face centimeters from mine. I cleared my throat uncomfortably memories of last night flitting through my mind. Memories of when Deacon almost kissed me, I bit my lip unable to look at Deacon in the eyes as presses slightly closer against me so Danse can close the doors. 

"Sorry about this sweetheart, I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable." Deacon whispers in my ear making me shiver, the response to him doesn’t go unnoticed. He chuckles softly his warm breath skimming my ear. I swallow hard finally looking at Deacons face, from how close I am to him I can see his bright forest colored eyes behind his shades. I have the ridiculous urge to run my hand down his cheek wanting to feel the stubble of his beard. I decide to just grip his shirt, he smirks slightly one of his hands reaching down to lay over mine.

But when the door opens I can't stop myself from bolting out of there. Danse and Deacon both look at me in surprise as I walk out of the building from the garage. I close my eyes for a moment feeling the cool breeze calm my heated skin. 

"Well that could have gone smoother but mission accomplished." Danse says looking around the place for a moment. 

"Smoother?" Deacon questions frowning at Danse who regards him for a moment but doesn’t answer his question.

"I thought we made a good team." We share a smile before he's rifling through his pack. 

"There are two important matters to discuss. First and foremost I would like to compensate you for your assistance during this operation. I think you'll find this weapon useful its my own personal modification of the standard brotherhood laser rifle. May it serve you well in battle." He said his voice thrumming with pride at having built the weapon himself. He places it in my hand making me look up at him startled.

"But… don't you need it?" I question while he shakes his head placing a bag with two hundred and fifty caps in my hands followed by a few fusion cells for the gun. 

"This isn't the only weapon at my disposal brotherhood soldiers always carry a back up. Now as far as the second matter, it's about that proposal we talked about earlier. Our op could have ended in a disaster but you kept your cool and handled it like a soldier." I tried not to laugh at the insinuation, if only he knew that I used to be a soldier.

"There is no doubt in my mind that you have what it takes. The way I see it you have a choice. You can spend the rest of your life wandering from place to place, trading an extra hand for a meager reward or you can join the brotherhood of steel and make your mark on the world. So what do you say?" I can't say I'm too surprised, I look at Deacon for a moment behind Danse who is vigorously shaking his head that I shouldn’t do it.

"W-What would be expected of me if I did join?" Danse turns to see where my eyes strayed making Deacon stop and stuff his hands in his pockets whistling softly. His chocolate eyes narrow at Deacon before turning back to me. 

"You'd be under my command, I would expect you to fall in line and follow orders. No more mercenary work. This is the real thing, you'd also have access to advanced military weapons as well as your own personal suit of power armor. Most importantly you'd have the brotherhood at your back ready to spill its blood to keep you alive. Offer still stands, can we count on you?" Part of me wants to jump at his offer because it's something im used to, I always loved my days in the military because it made me feel useful and needed. Part of me wants that again, another perk would be that they would be able to help me get Shaun back.

"I'd be honored to join." I say making Danse nod. 

"That’s what I wanted to hear. Meet me back at the police station for details. I have to stay here but I will see you soon, soldier." I salute him before turning to a very frustrated looking Deacon. 

"DIE HUMAN, THIS IS THE AGE OF THE SUPERMUTANT!" Our heads snap to the side as we see a super mutant running at us a strange red ticking item chained to his hand. 

"What the hell?" I'm not given a chance to react as he gets close enough to all of us. I look up in shock as Deacon tackles me to the ground his body covering mine as the explosion erupts around us. I hit the ground my head cracking against the concrete floor as Deacon falls on top of me.  
"Deac!" I call my arm wrapping around him as I try to get the ringing in my head to stop. 

"Oh…" I groaned scooting out from under Deacons body making him whimper in pain. 

"Danse!" I screamed seeing him kneeling by the remains of the super mutant.

"I-I'm fine, my power armor saved me from the majority of the damage. How are you and your companion?" He questioned, as I leaned down looking at Deacons wounds. He had severe burns on his back that were leaking fresh blood.

"He's burned bad!" I say as Danse stands grudgingly bringing himself closer to us. 

"Deac, why… the hell would you do that?" I choked out as I looked through my pack for the first aid box that Codsworth had given me. 

"Heh, it seemed like a good idea at the time." Deacon joked quietly wincing as I inserted a stimpack into his arm. I watched as the wounds healed and stitched themselves together before my eyes.

"That feels a lot better." He sighed as he brought himself up to his hands and knees tearing off the ruined shirt that he had been wearing. Suddenly my vision gets blurry and I blink trying to refocus on Deacon who is staring at me. 

"Sweetheart? You okay…?" Deacon said his hand raising to my neck to peer deeper into my eyes. I managed to blink the blurriness out of the way watching as Deacon retracted his hand from my neck looking into shock at the blood slicked on his finger tips. 

"Fuck! I think she has a concussion." Deacon says to Danse who kneels down next to me as he turns me to look at him. The movement is too quick for me, my vision goes black and I can't hold myself up anymore.


	12. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon and MacCready deal with loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Averys pov will be next chapter

MacCready  
"Did Paladin Danse and your companions leave already?" I look up at the brotherhood woman that had been put in charge of my care.

"Yeah, they left a couple hours ago." I say standing up as she applies another stimpack to my arm before pulling off the gauze around my shoulder and my arm.

"Looks like the treatment worked, you are ready to get back out there." She says with a smile.

"HAYLEN, HAYLEN OPEN THE DOORS!" My blood runs cold as she sprints to the main doors opening them for Danse and Deacon. Deacon who is holding an unconscious Avery in his arms. I move out of the way as Deacon lays her down. 

"What the f--- heck happened out there?" I question grabbing Deacon by his arm seeing him wince. My eyes trailed down his back seeing scars and burns running down it.

"There was a super mutant suicider when I tackled Avery to cover her from the blast she hit her head pretty hard. She may have a concussion." Deacon mutters his voice filled with guilt.

"Get some better clothes on. Go! I will stay with Avery." Deacon nods walking away as I crouch down next to Avery taking her small pale hand in mine. Her eyes flutter open as she groans sitting up placing a hand on her head. 

"Hey there doll, how's your head feeling?" I whispered so it wouldn’t irritate her ears. She looked at me for a moment before she was sliding off the bed her arms wrapping around my waist tightly. I sigh hugging her just as tightly back placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

"Nate…" She whispers sniffling quietly and I feel my heart sink. 

"Yeah, I'm here beautiful. It's okay." I whisper looking up at Deacon who is staring at us, his lips pressed into a thin line as he clenches his fist.

"I missed you Nate… please tell me it was all a dream." She whispers into my shoulder. I feel my whole heart breaking, I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not. 

"Shhh, you hit your head pretty hard doll. You need to get some rest." She pulls away for a moment looking up at me with heavy lidded eyes, leaning in for a kiss. I feel my face flush because she wants me to oblige her despite everyone in the room. I shake away my inhibitions and lean down pressing my lips to hers as her arms wrap around my neck. I press a few kisses against her lips before Deacon is pushing me off of her. I glare at him as he stands between me and Avery. She blinks finally realizing where she is and what's happening.

"You are a piece of fucking work MacCready." I want to hit him for separating us, for trying to come between me and Avery. Things are different with her, I feel like I can be a better person if she stays by my side and Deacon wants to ruin that. 

"I'm a piece of work? What about you? Trying to take what doesn’t belong to you. Avery will never feel for you what she feels about me." I hiss as Avery steps between us. 

"Stop both of you. I don't understand why you have to fight about this." Her eyes are dull as she looks up at me finally realizing that I'm not her late husband, I feel a pang of hurt at the thought. 

"I'm angry because this asshole is using you and you don't deserve that." Deacon says turning to Avery whose staring at him stunned. 

"Please don't yell its hurting my head… How could he use me?" She asks staring at him painfully gripping her head.

"He failed to mention his wife Lucy…. or his son Duncan." She blinks at me like she can't understand what the hell just happened.

"W-wife and son..?" I have to grit my teeth at the look she gives me… I'm not ready to talk about Lucy or Duncan to her. Deacon smirks at me while Avery just sits back on the bed not saying a word. 

"Everyone out, I need to sleep. Get out!" She screamed at everyone making them scramble to make their way into a new room. But I don't leave I stand there looking at her because Deacon may have just ruined one of the best things that ever happened to me. Deacon shoots me a glare before heading out of the room with Danse, Haylen and Rhys. 

"Didn’t you hear me? That means you too MacCready." She says placing her face in her hands.

"No, im not going to let Deacon ruin what's happening between us." I say kneeling in front of her and taking her hands in mine.

"Is it true what he said?" she whispers softly her steel eyes meeting mine. 

"Yes." I swallow hard seeing the look of utter defeat on her face. 

"Thank you for all of your help up until this point MacCready, but I'll be fine on my own from here on out. I will also handle Winlock and Barnes." Something inside me breaks when I hear those words leave her lips. I shake my head looking up at her pleadingly, as she slips from my grip walking past me. 

"No, I told you doll. I'm not leaving you alone. I promised you that remember?" I say standing watching as she paces behind me. 

"No. I'm not asking you to leave MacCready… I'm telling you, you are dismissed." I walk in front of her halting her pacing for a moment to wrap my arms around her.

"MacCready, let me go… Goddamn it. 

Let me go!" she hisses pushing me away but I only hold her tighter as she struggles. 

"Shhh doll, shhh its okay." I feel her trembling in my arms her whole frame shaking as she starts to cry. We both slide to the floor as I attempt to hold her closer, she doesn’t want me to. She pounds on my chest with her fist trying to gain some distance from me and I feel my heart breaking. 

"Please just go… I cant handle this. I cant handle being near you." She whispers halting all her struggling. 

"I don't want to leave Doll please." I whisper kissing her forehead pulling away to finally see her tear streaked face. I slowly clear them away with my thumbs.

"I care about you Avery." Her small pale hand catches my hand and slowly lowers it. 

"If you care then please, do this for me. Leave." I take a deep breath letting her go. I stand up pulling away from her as she looks up at me with puffy eyes. 

"I will be back at the third rail if you want to come find me." I said slipping Nate's ring from my finger and leaning down taking her hand to place it in her palm. She stays on the floor her bangs covering her eyes as I walk to my things separating everything that I had been holding on to for Avery. I pick up my clothes stuffing them in my pack as well before walking to the door of the Cambridge police station. I looked around the area making sure there were no feral's before I decide to head out.

"MacCready." I turn looking behind me to see Deacon stand there with his arms crossed. 

"What do you want Deacon?" He pursues his lips for a moment before stepping forward. 

"Stay away from her. For good." He says and I have to clench my fist to stop myself from punching him in the face.

"I will stay away when and if that is what she wants. She's angry now, but I will explain everything to her and she will come back to me." I growl while Deacon shakes his head a quiet sigh leaving his lips. 

"Explain that you turned her into a home wrecker because you can't keep it in your pants?" He doesn’t know… He really has no idea… 

"Lucy died a while after Duncan was born. Torn apart by feral's, it took everything in me to run away with Duncan. " Deacons whole body went rigid. 

"Deac! I've been looking all over for you." We both look up as a man in a strange patched suit runs up to us.

"Hey, what's going on?" Deacon says ignoring me completely. 

"Dez has been looking for you, switchboard was attacked. There is a dead drop with the new location of HQ. It'll be in a mailbox by Boston Commons. Keep following the freedom trail." I looked curiously as Deacons whole body tensed up completely.

"I'll be there by tomorrow tell Dez not to do anything reckless." The man nods waving before running back from where he came. 

"Looks like you fucked us both over and are leaving Avery with that brotherhood trashcan." I hiss punching him in the face. He lets me falling back on his ass as he rubs his jaw. 

"Deacon!" We both look over to see Avery staring at us with wide eyes. 

"Go MacCready, Fucking go!" She grounds out as she runs to Deacons side to check his jaw.

"We are going to have to talk eventually Avery." I say before turning my back to them and walking away. 

 

 

Deacon  
Avery knelt next to me her fingers feathering slightly over what was sure to be a bruise tomorrow. I placed my hand over hers halting her movements for a moment. I finally get a good look at her, her eyes are bloodshot and rimmed red from her tears. I hurt her based on some Intel that was wrong. MacCready's wife was dead meaning they could have been together. I open my mouth to tell her but the words won't come out. I don't want her to go after him.

"Thanks sweetheart. I'm okay now though really." She nods helping me stand. We both stare at each other for a moment before she's lifting my shades off of my face. All I want to do is cringe away from her so she won't see what im hiding. 

"Thank you for telling me about MacCready. I thought he was serious about me… but now I'm not so sure. I was serious with what I told Danse, im joining the brotherhood." I place a hand on her head pulling her closer so our foreheads are pressed together.

"I hate to do this, but I have to leave too. I have some things that need to be taken care of. I'm so sorry sweetheart." She simply shakes her head before pulling away. It's okay Danse has offered to accompany me throughout the wasteland. I hope to see you again soon Deac…. knowing you it'll be sooner rather than later." I swallow hard nodding, I want to bring her into the railroad but Dez would question it too much. She needs to find us herself.

"Sweetheart if you ever want to see me yourself…. follow the freedom trail." I whisper making her stare at me confused.

"I'm going to pack my things and have a talk with that paladin of yours. Be safe Avery, I don't want anything to happen to you." She smiles leaning forward to place a gentle goodbye kiss on my cheek before allowing me to leave her side and return into the police station. When I get back inside Dog meat passes between my legs running outside to Avery while Paladin Danse is frowning as he looks at Haylen and Rhys. 

"You're still here?" Danse says curiously as he turns to face me. 

"Yeah, I have to head out. Avery said you'd be accompanying her…" Danse stared at me like I was out of my mind. 

"Initiate Avery left already. She told me she would come back to the brotherhood of steel when she had found her son." I sucked in a deep breath. 

"She's with that insubordinate civilian isn't she? So why worry." Danse says his face filling with worry. 

"No, she told MacCready to leave her." We both ran outside the police station to see not a trace of Avery. 

"I can't go after her…" I whisper looking up at Danse who is also stuck in a bind because he can't leave the police station or his team.

"Dogmeat is with her… she will be fine." I say it but im not so sure. I turn to Danse who glares out at Cambridge. 

"We will be here if you come across her again… tell her I will be here waiting for her." I nod walking back inside with Danse who helps me pack up my things. I nod to him before heading towards the dead drop and initially to the new HQ where is Dez is going to give me shit for not being there. 

I sigh turning on my stealth-boy as I walk through Cambridge, everything is quiet aside from random dogs barking in the distance. I look up at the darkening sky, I can't stop worrying about her.

***  
When I get back HQ is really quiet, I step inside to see everyone around us looking completely defeated… even Glory.  
"Deacon… where have you been?" Desdemona growls walking up to me.  
"Oh… you know fighting off a deathclaw who thought it would be funny to steal my shades." Her face drops realizing that she would never get a real answer from me and at the lie that slips all to easily from my lips. I don't even know why I do it anymore, maybe I just do because I'm scared that Dez will see I don't belong here.  
"So what happened?" I question making her face become serious. 

"Switchboard was attacked by the institute… We don't know how they found us but the only ones that got out alive are right before your eyes." I look around at the few people left and felt my head start to ache, we really lost a lot of people on this one. 

"Let me go check the switchboard… I can do this Dez." She shakes her head looking at the people around her.

"We have already suffered too much of a loss Deacon… I can't send more people in to check a site that is overrun with gen 1s and gen 2s. I won't send you to your death… we still need you." I frown as she walks back into the main room gathering everyone around us. 

"Today, we have suffered a great loss to the institute. But what we can say is that they finally realize that we are the enemy. We will do whatever is in our power to continue protecting our synths. You can bet that we won't go down without a fight. They got the jump on us in the switchboard but this won't happen again. Now more than ever we are going to need to organize ourselves so we can win over the institute. The railroad will not allow these slavers to continue hurting the Commonwealth." She says as everyone around us cheer, she was always good at rallying the troops. I smiled at everyone while Carrington who was glaring in my direction.

"Hey Deac." Glory said stepping forward to lean against the wall where I was standing. 

"Glory." I mutter looking away from her.

"Where were you… we needed you back there and you were nowhere to be found. While drummer boy says he found you at the Cambridge police station, with some Merc. A police station filled with brotherhood bigots I might add. I made him swear he wouldn’t mention a thing to Dez. But what the hell Deac? This isn't like you… What's going on?" I silently cursed the fact that Glory could pick up on so much.

"Glory have a little faith, you know me, nothing is ever up. Stop worrying, I'm gonna try and get Dez to let me go to the switchboard to get it back." I say a frown etching itself on my face.

"If you plan to get to switchboard… I need my prototype, I lost my chance to get it when we were driven out by the institute." We both look up to see Carrington standing next to us with arms crossed.

"Yeah, I'll see if I can find it. If Dez approves the mission, she isnt too keen on letting me go anywhere right now."  
"I wonder why." Carrington mutters sarcastically before walking off. I give him the finger while Glory chuckles softly.  
"How bout we go out on the roof and have a drink?" Glory says placing a gentle hand on my arm. I look at her slightly before nodding, she grabs a her stash of whiskey and vodka before we make our way to the top of the old north church.  
I pull my cigarettes from my pocket and light one up before offering another to Glory who takes it gladly.  
"Pick your poison." She says softly opening up the bag of gathered alcohol, I sift through finding a decently preserved bottle of wine.  
"bottoms up." I whisper as we clink our bottles together before downing them. Glory lays her head on my shoulder as we look out at the wasteland.  
"You think one day we will actually succeed and win against the institute?" She murmurs already half way through her vodka. 

"Yeah Glory, we will and it will be soon. The institute doesn’t have a chance." She laughs making me crack a smile. 

"You are full of shit Deac, but at least we are making a difference in some synth lives right?" I nod slightly dizzy from the lack of food and excess alcohol. 

"Deac." I look down at Glory who is staring at me with heavy lidded eyes, more drunk than she expected to be. I blink at her confused as she brings her lips to mine kissing me slowly. I don't know why I don't push her away, maybe because she's easier to handle than what im feeling for Avery. She lays back unzipping her jacket and pulling me over her as she lies there, just a bra shielding her body from me. 

I slowly run my hand over her skin making her moan softly. But the sound doesn’t do to me what it should, I close my eyes and I see Avery, her soft pale skin on display for me. Her steel eyes darkened with lust, I realize I can't do this… I don't want to be with anyone else. 

"Glory… I can't. I'm sorry." I say pulling away from her making her look at me confused as I book it the hell out of there.


	13. Finding comfort in the arms of another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a sexual scene if you do not wish to read it, do not read this chapter and await my next update. Thank you all for reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those waiting for an Avery MacCready make up session it will come but not yet, their relationship is about to get worse. But i promise that they will make up. As for Deacon and paladin Danse. They will get their chance to be with Avery at some point.

Avery  
I stare at Nate's ring in my palm for what feels like a long time. My heart is aching and I can't help but feel like he used me. 

"Avery." I look up to see paladin Danse entering the room cautiously. I compose myself as best I can picking myself up off of the floor. He stares at me sympathetically as I wipe my tears away. 

"I wanted to let you know I do intend to honor our arrangement Paladin… but I need to find my son first. He was kidnapped." Danse nods in understanding as he places a hand on my shoulder. 

"I understand, you know where to find me. The brotherhood will always be there at your back when and if you need it. I grant you the rank of initiate, I can't grant you anything higher. But from what I have seen im sure you will rise through the ranks quickly." Danse says a small smile gracing his lips. 

"Ad Victoriam initiate!" Haylen says peeking through the door making Danse and I both smile.

"Haylen save your breath she probably doesn’t even know what that means." Rhys says and I shoot him a glare.

"Ad Victoriam, To victory." I say making him stare at me in shock.

"Correct, it's our rallying call and it is stronger than any weapon we can bring to the battlefield. But you will learn all about it when you return to us." Danse says shooting his own glare at Rhys who raises his hands in surrender and leaves the room. 

"May you find your son." He whispers softly, I salute him before turning back to grab my things and heading out the door. As soon as I head outside the dull throbbing in my head turned into a full blown hammering. 

"Deacon!" I call out my eyes adjusting to see him on the ground and MacCready over him. 

"Go MacCready, Fucking go!" I scream at him as I run to Deacons side checking his face to make sure he doesn’t have any lasting damage.

"We are going to have to talk eventually Avery." He says making me look up at him, his eyes are hidden under his hat as walks away. Deacon looks at me his green eyes filled with guilt, he shouldn’t feel guilty. He helped me realize what kind of person MacCready was before it was too late. Then he tells me hes leaving and I feel my heart break a little more. But I lie through my teeth and tell him Danse will be joining me, I don't know why I lie to Deacon but I do, with a small kiss on his cheek I allow him to leave while Dogmeat runs up to me.

"Come on boy, I don't want them to worry." I whisper making Dogmeat whimper quietly bowing his head. I head out of there heading towards Good Neighbor… not after MacCready, but after one of my only other friends here in the wasteland. The walk is quiet and we manage to make it to Good Neighbor without incident. I head straight for the state house nodding at all the guards.

Once I get to the top of the stairs I see Hancock talking to a drifter asking for some chems. He looks over at me regarding me for a moment, his eyes light up happily as he gives the woman some chems. Dogmeat runs into another room to hide under one of Hancocks beds, I shake my head at the dog. "Well hello beautiful, im a lover and a fighter… if you know what I mean." One of the guards says coming up to me. I feel my face flush at the comment.

"Hey, go hit on someone else, this beauty is all mine." Hancock says with a grin, his guard mutters a few apologies before running away.

"Hello love, welcome back." He says looking and me with a big grin.

"Hello John." I say with a happy smile. He pulls me into a big hug, I'm in his arms head laying against his chest. He holds me so tightly I fear I might break and I'm right because I can't stop the tears as they slip past my eyelids and on to Hancocks shirt. I felt so comfortable and loved in his arms that when he brings me to the couch in his room and pulls away to sit down, I'm left wishing for his touch once more. 

"Come here love, tell me what's eating you?" I blink away the tears before I step forward seating myself on Hancocks lap. His hand is gently running over my head as his other hand holds me to him. 

"MacCready… Has a wife. We werent… together… together… but he meant something to me. I thought I could trust him…" I hear Hancock sigh as he places his ruined lips against my forehead.

"He isnt the only man in the world, love." He whispers his fingertips skimming over my cheek as he swipes my tears away.

"It's not about that… it hurts my pride… to think that he would have a family and still try to keep me around." Hancock nods in understanding as I pull away to look into his obsidian eyes. 

"I would never treat you like that. You are a prewar princess and deserve to be treated as such." I can't help but laugh at that as more tears run down my cheeks. 

"you know how to make me feel better John. Thank you." I say placing a kiss on his cheek and his skin is surprisingly smooth against my lips. I lay my head against his shoulder as he rubs soothing circles on my back. 

"Why can't every man be like you John?" I question making Hancock laugh, the sound is a bit gravelly but its music to my ears. 

 

"It takes a lot of chems to be the man I am today." Hancock says with a grin and I can't help but laugh with him. I feel him hold me tighter as he leans over to the table to pick up a red inhaler.

"What's that?" I question just as he's about to bring it to his lips.

"Its called Jet. You havent had any chems yet have you?" I shake my head and he gets a wicked grin on his face.

"Well sweetheart, I'm going to show you the best damn high of your life." I stare at him confused but I don't protest as he presses the jet to my lips. I close my eyes inhaling deeply as my whole body feels like its floating. I open my eyes to see Hancock bring it to his lips this time. He puts it down his fingertips feathering down my arm, I shiver feeling his finger tips as they leave a scorching trail in their wake. 

"Is it supposed to feel like this?" I whisper as he slides his hand up to my cheek to face him. 

"What's it feel like to you?" he questions softly, I watch his eyes stray from mine to my lips.

"It feels like your hand is burning me, not painful but it feels hot against my skin." I rambled running my fingertips over the ruined skin of his lips. He places a gentle kiss on each finger before speaking again. 

"It’s the opposite for me, you feel like ice. Your skin feels so good against mine." He noted before slipping out from under me and sitting me on the couch. He went to his drawers and retrieved a bottle of Vodka and a pack of cigarettes. When he came back he poured us both a glass, I took it from him happily. 

"To leaving shitty people behind us and starting anew." Hancock says clinking his glass against mine. We both down the first shot easily, he keeps pouring us more until we are drunk and high out of our minds. I stand up walking towards the window of the statehouse looking at all the pretty lights as Hancock lights up a cigarette and comes up behind me removing the armor on my body leaving me only in the harness I had chosen to wear. I pluck the cigarette from his fingertips and take a drag as his hand plant themselves on my hips. He pulls me back against his body, smoldering hands sliding over my stomach as he places a kiss on my shoulder. 

"Its going to be okay love~" I lean against him turning my face away from him so he can plant more kisses up my neck gently nipping at my skin. I can't stop the moan that escapes my lips as he kisses right below my ear.

"Tell me you want this please?" he begs his teeth grazing my ear. He spins me to face him and I can't help but smile, wrapping my hands around his neck pulling him closer.

"I want this." His response was a broad smile as he reached down to lift me up by my thighs. I let him lift me as he pressed me against the wall next to the window. I wrapped my legs around his hips sliding his jacket from his shoulders until it is lying in a heap next to my armor. His eyes locked with mine and he leaned in with exaggerated slowness. 

Almost as if he was giving me a chance to regret the choice I was making. But at this moment I wanted anything but to let this moment slip from my grasp. His mouth was against mine, moving slowly sweetly. I felt my heart race as I let my eyelids flutter closed. My mouth moved against his as our kisses became more desperate, tongues clashing and teeth grazing each other's lips.

I lost myself so completely, I surrendered myself to Hancocks gentle hands and soft lips. I felt cared for, like I actually mattered. Though another part of me was using this as a form of revenge for the bitter betrayal MacCready had put me through. I savored the taste of whiskey on his tongue as my high ramped up my desire. I pulled away from Hancock panting both of us still connected by a thin string of saliva. He placed another gentle kiss on my lips before I was pushing him away again to pull his white dress shirt from his pants to unbutton it. 

His eyes seemed to darken with lust as he watched my shaky hands work the buttons of his shirt open. When I finally opened it I slid my hands underneath helping him throw it to our growing pile of clothes. I look down at his body, his skin is pink and shiny like newly healed burns. I press my palm over his heart to feel it racing beneath it. I take a shuttering breath as Hancock's hand finds its way beneath my harness, his hand slowly squeezing my breast. Then before long he moves the harness out of his way and replaces his hand with his mouth. 

"Ah… fuck." I moan arching into his touch, my core instantly becoming slick at the sensations. It had been so long since I had been touched like this, since a little before Shaun was born. I closed my eyes feeling the tears burn in my eyes as Hancock tore the harness off of me. A single tear slipped past my eyelids as Hancock pulled away carrying me to his bed. When his body didn’t immediately cover mine, I opened my eyes to see him staring at me with such loving eyes. I felt a knot form in my throat as he leaned down kissing the tear away. 

 

"I'm here, I will love you forever. I'm yours when and if you want me, whenever you want me." He whispers his lips running down my jaw, heated hands running over my body intimately.

"Thank you." I laughed through my tears grabbing him by his cheeks and pulling him up so our lips press together. I felt Hancock's hand run down toward my belt unhooking it while his tongue explored my mouth. When he got my belt off he slid it from my pants then slowly got off of the bed. I leaned back on my elbows watching as he unlaced my combat boots removing them and placing them next to our clothes. I bit my lip as he reached up and slid my pants off of my legs. I arched up letting them slide off completely leaving me in only my panties.

He unbuttoned his pants leaving them open slightly before crawling back over me. His hands gently skimmed over my legs making goose bumps rise on my skin as my breaths became pants. I shiver in anticipation as his touch leaves my body tingling. He slowly spread my legs his eyes wandering over my flesh, for a moment I felt self-conscious. 

"So fucking perfect." He whispered as he rubbed his hands up my thighs before his mouth was placing gentle kisses on my stomach. I sucked in a deep breath as his lips skimmed lower until they were at my core. His tongue slowly running through me making my hands find their way to claw at the mattress. 

"You taste so good love." He whispers before he goes back to running his tongue all over my body making me squirm. It felt like electricity was coursing through my veins, all of my nerves being electrified. I gasped a soft moan escaping my lips as his tongue found its way inside me. I bit my lip to keep any sounds from escaping as a flame traveled to my stomach, I could feel myself getting so close. Hancock leaned over me his mouth on mine as his fingers continued working me towards my release. 

Then just as I was about to cum, my body arched in a perfect bow strung so tight it hurt. What I wasn’t prepared for was Hancock forcing himself inside me. I moved my mouth from his and shrieked so loud I'm sure all of good neighbor heard. But that didn’t stop him from taking everything he needed from me. While I was still riding high on the waves of my orgasm Hancock continued, I felt so full as he slowly thrust inside me, his tongue slowly dancing with mine. I felt so needy as I wrapped my legs around his waist allowing him even deeper inside me, the only sound in the room was my moans and Hancock's grunts, the sound of skin against skin. 

My passion drove me to claw his skin as I moved with him our love making session causing the bed to bump against the wall. Every touch had my heart racing leaving me sobbing from how much pleasure he brought me. I could feel him getting close as his thrusts became more and more erratic his body begging for release.

"Hancock please." I whimpered as he held me closer thrusting harder and deeper. 

"HANCOCK!" I screamed as I found my release once more, Hancock pulled out and away from me as he found his release as well allowing it to spill onto my stomach.

"Avery…" he cooed softly as I took a shuttering breath. Hancock stood and grabbed a towel wiping away the mess from my body and his own before he returned to the bed. I flipped onto my stomach feeling spent, Hancock placed a kiss on my back before laying an arm around me his fingertips lacing with mine. Then just before I fell asleep I heard Hancock lean over to quietly whisper in my ear.

"Goodnight my prewar princess." I hummed quietly so he knew I heard him before I fell asleep in the warmth of his arms.


	14. Chapter 14

Avery  
That morning I woke up in bed alone, face down tangled in Hancock's sheets. My head was spinning and my limbs felt so heavy. I sat up wrapping the sheet around my body before heading out of the room in search of Hancock. It was around that time that I heard the shouting. 

"What the fuck, im gone two days. Damn it two fucking days." I can hear Hancock sigh but he doesn’t respond. I open the door to his office to see Fahrenheit grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. 

"What do you think you're doing?" I hiss wrapping the sheet tightly around me before pushing her off of him. 

"I'm trying to understand how in two days, Hancock is leaving me. Someone who has been so fucking loyal to him is being replaced by a whore he only spent one night with." I felt my eyes narrow as I took a step forward, before I could stop myself I was kicking Fahrenheit's feet from under her and kneeling atop her. I stole one of the blades from her jacket and held it to her neck.

"Watch your mouth, I'm not like you. I don't give my body for a place to sleep. Or pretend im in love to live more comfortable than those around me. If I slept with Hancock it's because I care about him and I want him." I growl pressing the blade down until a small cut on her throat as she swallowed hard.

"Or maybe you are sleeping with him because MacCready didn’t want you." She spit in my face before laughing , I let out a sharp breath getting off of her and wiping my face off. My heart is aching because part of what she said is true. I don't know how to handle it. 

"Avery! wait!" Hancock cooed his arms wrapping around me tightly while Fahrenheit scoffed. "Hancock let me go… just don't. I'll see you around." I said as he slowly dropped his hands from my hips, I started walking out of his office towards the room I had spent the night in. When I get there I see my harness is ripped to shreds, I go into my pack and see one of MacCready's dress shirts and I have to admit I miss him so much right now. 

Part of me wonders what he's doing and if he's missing me as much as I am him. I slip it on buttoning it up and then reach for my combat boots lacing them up. I don't bother with pants I just want to get out of there. Hancock comes into the room and tries to reason with me to stop me from leaving but after that I can't stay. Hancock didn’t say a word to defend me, not that I need it but I would have loved it had he shut her up.

"Look Hancock, I can't stay near you when you still have her. I care about you. So I will give you a choice. Her or me, it's as simple as that." He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth but no words come out. I stare at him for a moment wanting him to say anything just to keep me. 

"Please, I want you. I just need time to sort this stuff with Fahrenheit out. But I promise you, there is only you." I such in a deep breath, time… that should give me the time I need to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

"Take the time you need." I whisper softly as he pulls me closer. I let him wrap his arms around me, while I slide my hands up his forearms as he leaned his forehead against mine. I feel him lean forward angling his face so his mouth is on mine. I press my lips against his and I felt my heart race. I loved the way his mouth claimed mine how gently he held me, like I was a piece of glass. I didn’t realize how long we had been kissing until the need for air became too great. We pulled away panting our eyes locked together, despite all my confusion in this.

I knew that part of me couldn't deny how I felt for Hancock. Something tugged at my heart when he kissed me and when he held me. I had feelings for him same as for MacCready. That thought plagues my mind as I head towards the hotel Rexford getting whistled and cat called at the whole way there. Clair takes one look at me and offers me a key, she says she will charge me on my way out.

I silently thank her before sprinting up towards my room. When I get there I unlock the door throwing my pack to the side before turning to see MacCready in my bed. He looks up from polishing his sniper in shock. 

"Why are you waltzing around Good Neighbor without pants? Wait is that one of my shirts?" He questioned standing up to look down at me, his blue eyes trailing up and down my legs and thighs. I stare blankly at him before crossing my arms over my chest. 

"What are you doing in my room?" I evade his questions completely opting to grab my pack and set it on the bed looking for some better clothes as he sits back on the bed. 

"I was given this room by Clair." He said frowning at his sniper rifle. 

"Well so was I. We can share it for tonight, I need to get some things in order anyways." I say pulling out my vault suit and setting it on our bed. 

"I thought you didn’t want to be anywhere near me." I glanced at him for a moment before sighing. 

"I'm still mad at you MacCready. You lied to me, you used me. Not to mention you punched Deacon for telling me the truth." I shake my head sitting next to him on the bed as I unlace my combat boots.

"I punched Deacon for not telling you the whole truth. Yes I was married to Lucy but she is…. Lucy is dead." he whispered out his voice trembling with sadness. I spun around to face him as he looked down at the ground, he pulled a necklace from his neck. It’s a small cross with a wedding ring around it. I stepped forward taking the ring in my palm seeing a small engraving, it said while our bodies are mortal our love lasts forever. 

"I was devastated when I lost her, a pack of feral's tore her apart before I could… before I could even react. I took Duncan and ran out of there, there was nothing I could have done for her." I feel the tears sting in my eyes as I look away from him. He pulled me closer his arms wrapping around my hips and his head laying on my stomach. I let my hand hover over his head for a moment then I wrapped my arms around him tightly. 

"I want you to understand, I love Lucy and part of me always will. But she's gone and what I feel for you is real." I felt his gentle kiss on my stomach, the guilt was eating me alive. I slept with Hancock because I thought she was alive and his wife is dead. We could have… been happy, we would have been happy. 

"I'm sorry I didn’t tell you about her, but it's not easy doll." It felt like a weight was being thrown on to my shoulders. 

"MacCready… I..." My whole mouth went dry, I wanted to kiss him and make up but now that wasn’t an option. I bit my tongue for a moment before slowly slipping from his grasp. I had to step away from him before I said what needed to be said. 

"We met at the right place and the right time… but I don't think this is the right time for us anymore. Maybe this is a sign that I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the better of me. That I have lost focus on what truly matters which is finding my son. " I whisper softly the words hardly being able to leave my lips. I felt cold as I looked at his expression, he looked like a kicked puppy.

"I've wasted time, time that I can be using to find Kellogg. I can't waste time anymore, on anyone or anything. I'm sorry MacCready." I murmured pacing around the room for a moment.

"So after tonight, that’s the last I will see of you?" I swallow hard, those words are painful for me. He doesn’t move he just sits on the bed letting the information sink in as I nod. We stared at each other for a moment unsure of what to say. 

"Then let's make use of the time we have." He whispers as he finally stands taking me in his arms. I tremble at his touch as he brings his face close to mine his breath fanning over my lips. I place my hand over his mouth as he leans in for a kiss.

"I-I slept with Hancock." I whisper and watch as his eyes widen, big blue eyes filling with pain. I can feel him grip me slightly tighter as he shakes his head. 

 

"I don't care, I don't care. All I care about is you Avery, we can get over this. I know we can. I know you feel the exact same thing I feel for you. Please." I can feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as he cups my face in his hands. I place my hands over his as he makes me stare into his eyes as he pleads with me. He holds me tighter than before as he places a kiss on my cheek. His mouth slowly skimming closer to mine until he's kissing me and I know I have to pull away, to run while I can. But I don't want to, even though its hard I force myself to push him away. 

 

"Please, if I have to share you I will. I just can't lose you… please not you too." My head is spinning at this point, I cant think not like this.

"MacCready, please I need time. I need time to think this through please." I beg softly as he finally gains his self control pulling away from me. He nods looking over at me with an immense sadness in his eyes.

"I'm going to the third rail. I need a drink, bye." He said standing up from the bed walking towards the door. 

"MacCready." I muttered causing him to turn to face me with a guarded expression. I took one step forward then two and before long my arms were wrapped around his neck hugging him as tightly as I could. I felt a few more tears slip past my eyelids as he hugged me back. I kissed him on the cheek, then pulled away. 

"Thank you for everything." I whispered out. He pressed his cheek against mine holding me very tightly.

"Anything for you Doll, if you change your mind. If you decide that you want to be with both of us, come find me." With one last kiss to my forehead he's gone. I sit on the bed feeling more alone than before. I gather my things together pulling out a nuka cola and some Salisbury stakes. I cook them for about ten minutes on a hot plate before picking them apart with my fingers. I eat in the quiet room, the solitude is weighing on me. I look at myself in the mirror and cringe because I hate what I've become. I want change, I need it. I pick at my matted hair, frustrated before going to the bathroom. I chance the bathtub and see that there was running water. 

I heaved a sigh of relief as the tub filled up with mildly warm water. I grabbed a bar of soap from my pack that Codsworth had left me, I unbuttoned MacCready's shirt and laid it by the sink. I stepped into the water watching it change the clear water to a murky brown color. I used the soap to scrub my skin clean of the disgusting grime that covered my body. Then I untangle the braid from my hair and wash my hair with a sigh. I clean all my hair making sure its dirt free before I step out of the water and walk towards the room where I laid my vault suit.

I slip it on before sitting back on the bed and brushing through my hair, that’s become way too long for my liking. When im done I feel clean and frustrated. I decide I don't want to stay the night here, being close to MacCready will be hard on me. I gather my things and decide Diamond City is what's best for me, I can take some time away from both of the men that are making my head so crazy. I look at the room for one last moment and sighed, I need to get the hell out of here.


	15. Enter Preston Garvey

Preston Garvey  
This is by far the worst situation I've seen myself in since Quincy. We are trapped inside a museum in Concord, I managed to get everyone safely into a room on the second floor. But it won't be long until those raiders break down the door and slaughter us all. We need a miracle, everyone here is losing hope I can see it in their eyes and I can't stand to see the only people who believed in the minute men just let go and loose hope. This people entrusted their lives to me and I can't save them. I walk outside on the balcony unable to face the others anymore. That’s when I see them, a woman with long blood red hair braided past her waist. She's walking next to a synth wearing a detectives trench coat… Thank you god… for sending me someone to help us.

"HEY, YOU! PLEASE HELP US! WERE TRAPPED AND THE RAIDERS ARE ABOUT TO GET IN. GRAB THAT LASER MUSKET AND PLEASE HELP US!" I watch as both of their heads snap up in surprise. She quickly turns to her companion muttering a few words I can't hear from here. He nods before she waves her hand at me and takes off running for the entrance of the museum. I suck in a shaky breath, I really thought this was the end for us. But that girl may very well help us out of here. I go back in the room seeing the others staring wide eyed at the door, from here I can hear the raider outside it banging on it. He's screaming horrible things that he plans to do if he gets inside.

"Guys, we may have a chance. There was a woman and a synth out there. I called out to them and they’ve come inside to help." I say hoping I can get some of the hope back into their eyes. Mama Murphy is the only one who seems completely unfazed by the situation, still probably high off of her jet. Her sight brought us here and I can only hope this place…. Sanctuary is real. I pace around the room listening as all the screaming stops and the museum becomes deathly silent. I look over at Sturgis who is nervously eying the door. I step closer to the door fidgeting with my hands, then after a few moments I hear a quiet knock on the door. Everyone looks up at me as I step closer to the door.

"Sturgis keep your weapon ready… im going to open the door." He nods his head aiming his laser musket at the door as I swallow hard and reach for the door knob. I pray and pray as I open the door, She's there with her synth. I heave a sigh of relief and feel the need to hug these strangers. 

"How are you all holding up? I took care of the raiders out there, but I think there's still more outside." Her voice is silvery and very pleasant to listen to, somehow I feel a wave of calmness wash over me.

"I'm not going to lie to you, we are in bad shape, they cornered us. We have a plan but there was no way to do it once the raiders filled the building." She nodded sympathetically. 

"Well what's the plan, Nick and I may be able to do more." I looked over at Sturgis who stared back at me like we had just won a damn jackpot. 

"Sturgis would you mind?" I question as he shakes his head stepping forward to our new friends.

"Well our plan was to use the suit of power armor on the roof. There's a minigun on a crashed vertibird that we can use to blow those raiders to hell! The only issue is that the power armor has probably been sitting there for the last two hundred years, meaning it doesn’t have any power. We would need a fusion core to get it running. The only one in the building was in the basement." She nods a smirk coming to her lips.

"Minigun? I like the sound of that! There's no need to worry, I already grabbed the fusion core on my way up here." She said pulling a yellow fusion core from her pack with a big smile.

"See darlin I told you that fusion core would come in handy." Her companion smiles at her making her pout up at him, when I look into her eyes and really look at them. I stare surprised they are a hazy steel color almost as if she was blind, but I highly doubt that. 

"You are a godsend." I say without thinking making her turn her radiant smile to me, I won't lie I think I felt my heart skip a beat. 

"Well let's get going guys, let's show those raiders who they are fucking with!" Though im not a fan of her language I find myself chuckling with her. 

"I'll give you whatever support you need from here, get in the power armor and show them what hell looks like." She turn her back to me and goes up the ladder to the roof her synth following behind her. I step out on to the balcony hearing the woman's voice. 

"I don't know Nick, I'm not a fan of power armor why don't you take it." She says and I can hear her stuffing the fusion core into the power armor. 

"Nah darling I don't think my body could handle 200 pounds of more metal." She sighs softly before reluctantly entering the power armor and I can hear her trying to break apart the mini gun from the vertibird. 

"Whenever you're ready!" I called up to her only to hear the sound of metal being torn. 

"Let's do this!" She screamed out just as the raiders were gathering around us. I raise my laser musket shooting down some of the raiders hiding behind a few sandbags. 

"Fuck it!" I heard from above me, I looked up in surprise as my savior jumped off the roof landing on the ground in front of the raiders killing them instantly the moment she used her minigun to sweep the area. I watched in awe as she single handedly took care of the raiders, that I couldn't even handle. I watched as she set the mini gun down and got out of her power armor. Something in my chest was screaming that, that was not a good idea. Then we felt it, the tremors causing the whole ground to shake as a beast ran forward its arm hitting the suit of power armor and throwing both it and the woman hard against the building. Even from here you could see her blood spray all over the beast, he had cut her pretty bad. 

"AVERY!" The synth screamed as he jumped down from the roof to check on her. I started shooting at the death claw distracting it from our saviors for a moment long enough for Nick to grab the minigun and shoot it. It was terrifying to see the way that beast dodged some of the bullets but when it got close enough Nick emptied the guns ammo into it and it fell skidding to the ground before hitting Nick. 

I didn’t wait to see what happened I ran back to the room where everyone was looking at me for answers. "Sturgis get everyone ready to go now! The woman shes hurt we have to get her to Sanctuary and treat her wounds!" I call as I sprint out the door and down the stairs of the museum when I made it outside the synth was holding a cloth to her neck. 

"We have to transport her to Sanctuary right away!" I call to him as he looks up at me with a nervous expression. 

"Pick her up carefully and keep the cloth tightly pressed to her neck." He does exactly as I ask and just then I see Sturgis with everyone ready behind him. 

"Let's go we don't have much time! Follow me!" I say as I run with the synth towards Sanctuary, He follows closely behind keeping a hand on her throat so she doesn’t completely bleed out. When we get there we see a Mr. Handy robot who sees the young woman recognizing her immediately.

"Miss Avery? Dear god what has happened to my Mistress! Get her inside now!" He said leading the way into a house, Nick sets her down on two mattresses pushed together moving away so the robot as room to work. I stare in shock seeing a large wound from her chest up to her chin. Nick takes her hand in his as the robot pulls out some first aid and begins cleaning the wound before offering a sewing needle and thread to Nick. 

"You have to stitch it up for her otherwise she will die." Nick doesn’t hesitate he begins sewing her wound closed as best he can while her robot holds her throat together for him. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turn back to Sturgis who is looking at me with a worried expressions.

"Is she going to be alright? I don't know if I could handle a death at the cause of helping us." I look back at her for a moment as she looked to her companion. 

"You have to go to the nearest hospital and find her supplies. She won't beat this on her own. I need four blood packs, an iv drip, as well as an oxygen tank." The robot says looking over at me too, you will have to accompany him and hurry she doesn’t have all the time in the world. Nick pushes her dark red bangs out of her face and places a kiss on her forehead before nodding to me. 

"Everyone Sturgis is in charge I have to help with this one. We will be back soon." They all nodded as they decided took around while Nick took the lead and began heading out of Sanctuary with me at his heels praying that Avery would be alright.


	16. Deacon

Deacon  
"What do you mean you can't find her? She's one girl… She couldn't have just disappeared into thin air. People talk there has to be someone who knows where she is." I hissed at the agent I had tailing Avery.

"I'm sorry sir but she got into it with a Death Claw I saw her get hurt. I returned after the death claw was taken care of and she was gone…. but there was a lot of blood." My heart dropped at those words, I had to go after her. 

"Problem Deacon?" Glory said from behind me, things have gotten more awkward ever since we almost had sex. 

 

"Not at all, I was just explaining my thoughts on how Death claws were made to fox here." She rolled her eyes at the obvious lie.

"Dez is looking for you." She said looking at me for a moment as if she was contemplating something before pulling me by my collar and pressing her lips against mine… I blink in shock as she pulls away and turns her back to me.

"I didn’t know you two were together?" I look up to see Dez holding a cigarette in her hand staring at me expectantly. 

"We aren't… but I think that was a blatant display of how much she wants me." I say too shocked to come up with a lie, She looks up at Glory curiously. I turn to face her trying to look serious.

"Dez, I need that restriction lifted…. you can't just keep me here!" I huff remembering the reason I was angry with her.

"Look I know what you’ve been thinking about, I can't let you go to switchboard unless it's with a full team backing you and right now we don't have the resources for that." I force a smile on to my face and place a hand on her shoulder.

"Look Dez I'm not going to switch board I have other things to do, I need you to lift that restriction you have on me leaving." She scans my face for a moment before sighing. I hold my breath as she looks back up at me curiously.

"Fine." She says softly before taking another drag of her cigarette and I can't help but smile, I now can go look for Avery on my own. 

"I gotta go hold down the fort for me Dez!" I say as I gather my things and hightail it out of there waving to Dez over my shoulder. I take out my map and look at the route I should take to go to Concord, I will look there for clues.   
**  
When I get to Concord I see what fox meant about the blood. There's a suit of power armor broken apart and a large dent in the bricks of the museum. I walk to the Death Claw seeing one of its claws covered in dry blood. 

"Oh Avery…. where are you?" I question softly walking back to the dent in the museum I run my finger down the corner of the dent looking on the floor where the blood was spattered. I lift my glasses for a moment scanning the blood and I can see little droplets on the road. I follow them until im leaving concord and passing the Red rocket truck stop. I look around for a moment seeing a settlement in the distance. My heart is telling me that she's there, I take off running as fast as I can towards the settlement. By the time I make it I'm breathing hard, I skid to a stop in front of a man who has a laser musket aimed at my head.

"Now, I don't want to shoot you, hands up real slow now and explain to me what you are doing here." I take a deep breath raising my hands.

"Just here looking for my friend she had a brawl with a death claw back in Concord." His eyes soften and his face becomes grim. 

"She's a friend of yours? I'll take you to her." He says lowering his gun and walking towards a nearby home, there's settlers around us look at me in fear.

"Her companion left with a friend of mine, Preston Garvey to get her everything she needs to survive this. She will be okay." When we entered the house he told me what room she was in before walking away. I held my breath as I walked into the room, I see Avery unconscious on the bed with stitches up to her throat. I go to her side and take her hand stroking her hair. She looks deathly pale, her mouth open in an attempt to breathe, her skin is burning almost like she's running a really high fever. Her eyelids flutter open and she stares at me curiously before a small smile sprouts on her lips.

"Hey sweetheart, how you feeling?" I question as I keep petting her hair. 

"Hi Deacon." She mouths but no sound comes out, she lifts a hand to her throat as her eyes widen in alarm. I see her hands going straight for the stitches, I catch them in mine.

"Woahh there… nonononono don't do that sweetheart, please look at me it's okay." She's borderline panicking as she looks at me.

"I'm we're gonna something interesting okay, ease your mind and don't touch." I say gesturing to her throat. She looks at me with a scared expression, I lay down next to her on my side so I'm facing her. 

"So what we are gonna do is I'm going to tell you something and you will tell me whether it’s the truth or a lie." She frowns at that and lifts her hand to her throat this time without touching. 

"You can mouth it boss I understand you." I say a small smirk pulling at my lips when she rolls her eyes and turns her head to face me wincing slightly when she does. I think of what I could possibly tell her, she awaits hazy steel eyes staring up at me expectantly. 

"This is my real hair." I blurt and lips part slightly as she looks at me in shock. 

"Truth?" She mouths second guessing herself for a moment. I bite my lip as I try to stop the smile from sprouting on my face. 

"Lie?" She mouths again making me nod. She lifts her hand to my hair running her fingers through it before she pulls it off my head. Her shoulders shake as she grins up at me, her fingers gently prodding at my bald head. I roll my eyes at her when she removes my shades and sets them aside. 

"Next." She mouths as she attempts to scoot closer but fails. I laugh gently as she pouts up at me, I scoot closer and she smiles happily. She places a hand on my cheek pulling me even closer.

"I have single handedly taken down a DeathClaw." Her eyes narrow a moment scanning down my face and body, I can't help but feel vulnerable without my shades, my wig and well any disguise whatsoever. 

"truth." She mouthed making me nod against her hand. 

"I'm a synth." Her eyes widen in confusion before she shakes her head. 

"Lie." She mouths almost instantly, part of me is disappointed that she can't see it. 

"Hey! I could be a Synth, I could be the best damn Synth that ever…..Synthed!" I playfully nudge her making her roll her steel eyes. 

"I think you're thieving companion is a good guy." She looks at my face her lips pursing slightly. 

"Truth." She was right, despite how much I didn’t like MacCready, I didn’t doubt he was a good guy. 

"Have I ever told you about the big three for predicting people?" She shook her head as much as she could without pulling on her stitches. 

"Caps, beliefs, and ego. Get a handle on what's driving someone and you know here you stand." She looks up at me with those big steel colored eyes and my heart skips a beat. 

"So where do I stand with you?" I didn’t offer her any words just a tired smile. She curled her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arm around me opting to not ask me anymore questions. Through my shirt I could feel the temp she was running. I ran my fingers through her hair and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

"I was so scared when I saw the mess you guys left back in Concord. I felt like I was losing my mind for the first time in a long time, I was really worried. I wondered what would happen to me if you really had…." I shut up my eyes trailing down to see her looking up at me. 

"I'm not out of the woods yet." she mouthed.

"As soon as you fall asleep, I'm gonna go and head out to see if I can find you some things to help." She shook her head.

"Don't leave, I don't want to wake up alone again." She mouthed one last time her eyes drooping sleepily as she laid on me.

"Your wish is my ….. strong recommendation." I whispered softly as I played with her hair listening to the quiet wispy little sounds of her breathing against my ear. I slowly inch my hand down and reach in my pack finding Proust. I slipped it out as I laid my head against Avery's and started reading from where I had last.

I had a lot of prewar books I managed to steal from a library back in the Capital wasteland. Shakespeare, Proust and Edgar Allen Poe were my favorites. It wasn’t even an hour before Avery was out cold and I was trying to slip out of her grasp. I felt like a total asshole for trying to leave while she slept. I wanted her to get better but I also knew she would be hurt by this. I tried moving away from her only for her to latch on to me tighter, I sighed softly remembering that the guy who almost shot mentioned her companion and theirs went to get her something to make it better. I lay my head back against the pillow and give up on trying to leave and decide to stay here and hold her close to me. 

"Fuck me…" I murmured as Avery curled more on top of me, I sighed holding her tightly as I closed my eyes and decided to give those two three days to come back with help for Avery before I go out and get it for her.


	17. Medford Medical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so late i didnt think it would be taking me this long but as always let me know what you think!

Nick Valentine  
When we got to Medford medical hospital we weren't expecting it to be a super mutant nest. There were bags of limbs hanging from the front steps of the hospital. Preston looked at me with a grim expression, going in there by ourselves would be suicide. But we couldn't just leave Avery to die. That's when we heard someone behind us. We both turned around to see MacCready beside a trading caravan. Part of me was relieved because he would help once he knew Avery was in danger the other part wasn't too keen on asking him for help.

"Valentine?" He questioned curiously. 

"MacCready..." I won't lie he looked a lot rougher than I expected. 

"How have you been? You haven't run across Avery have you?" I looked over at Preston whose face became guilt ridden.

"I..uh...we." His eyes narrowed as he looks between us.

"Where is she?" His tone lowered threateningly. I sighed my eyes trailing back to Medford medical hospital. His eyes flickered in that direction his eyes widening in fear. 

"Is she hurt ? Goddamn it tell me Nick!" He hissed grabbing me by the lapels of my jacket and getting in my face. His eyes were burning with anger and fear.

"A death claw attacked her cutting her throat open." Preston said watching as MacCready's face twisted with shock and pain. 

"I should have fucking been there. If I had been this wouldn't have happened!" I pushed him off of me fixing my jacket. 

"Instead of feeling sorry for yourself why don't you help us save her!" I glared watching as he nodded. 

"I quit." He said to the caravan owner handing him back all the caps he had been given. 

"What do you mean!? We need you to get to Diamond city." The caravan owner hissed in frustration. 

"Yeah and one of my other companions needs me more." He said emotionlessly as he raised his gun to the angry caravan owner, the man just glared at him before they continued heading in the same direction as they were before they ran into us. MacCready sighed softly before turning back to face me. 

"What exactly do you need from that hospital?" He questioned pulling his rifle from his back.

"An Iv drip, some blood packs and some antibiotics." His blue eyes looked pale as he became serious. He lead the way and we followed behind him as we got closer to the hospital. We almost ran into MacCready's back when he abruptly stopped before is looking through the scope of his rifle. I watched as he took the shot and an explosion erupted in front of the hospital. I sighed as a howl sounded in our ears. A super mutant hound was already sprinting closer to us, this time Preston started shooting it. causing it to stumble a bit before crashing into me. I caught its jaws preventing him from actually taking a bite out of me and ruining my circuitry. I turned its head to the side until I heard it crack making the hound fall on top of me dead.

I kicked it off of me as MacCready attacked another super mutant that had made its way to us. I sat back up with some help from Preston, he lifted me to my feet as MacCready finished off the rest of them. 

"Are you guys just gonna stand there… or are we gonna help Avery?" He calls out to us as he starts heading inside the hospital. I sighed softly and nodded for Preston to go with us inside. In the main room there weren’t any Super mutants just debris strewn across the room. 

"Let's split up, MacCready you find the antibiotics, Preston you look for the blood packs, I'm going to look for the iv drip." They all end up going their separate ways as I head upstairs. I step over a few skeletons and find my way into a patients room. The whole room is destroyed with a prewar skeleton adorning the bed. I sigh rifling through the debris on the floor not finding anything. I look around the room for a moment wondering what else I could possibly do. 

I walk back into the main hall and go downstairs and walk through a set of double doors, in the distance I can hear two Super mutants talking about finding an intruder. I pull out my weapon and head inside as quietly as I can until I see the two mutants standing around a few hostages. I blink curiously as they pick up one of the hostages, the others watch in horror as the person kicks and screams to be freed while they are dragged into a basement. There are men and woman crying as I enter, I raise a finger to my lips as they catch sight of me.

I can tell that they are afraid of synths but they keep their mouths shut as I quickly untie them all and order them to get out. One woman comes to my side instead of running off with the others. 

"Please my name is Anna, my son Jacob, they took my son." She begged taking my hands in hers. While I was worried out of my mind for Avery I couldn't just watch as this happened. 

"I will find your son for you but you need to get out. I can't risk letting you get captured." She's trembling with tears rolling down her cheeks, I place a hand over hers trying to reassure her.

"Okay." She murmurs softly taking one last glance at the basement door before running out of the hospital. I turned back towards the basement door that was adorned in blood. I leaned against the door listening for them but I couldn't hear anything. I raised my gun and turned the doorknob as quietly as I could before heading down the flight of stairs until I could hear their disgruntled voices as well as the boy begging for his life. I didn’t know if I would be enough to stop those brutes, but like hell am I going to let them do this. 

When I got down the radiation levels on my Geiger counter were going crazy, I looked at the room. The floor was a glowing green filled with irradiated liquid. When I looked up at them, they were strapping the boy to a hospital bed, he didn’t stop kicking or screaming for them to let him free. The two mutants only laughed as they brought in a doctor, she was clearly human but there was no way she should have been able to survive this long in this kind of radiation without a hazmat suit, she had to be a synth.

I damn my curiosity that kept me rooted to the spot I was hiding. She held a syringe in her gloved hands, it was filled with a strange glowing orange substance. The mutants watched enraptured as she inserted the needle into the young boys arm, it instantly stopped his screams. He looked up at the ceiling with a vacant expression. They quickly un bound his arms as his body began to mutate, his skin began stretching turning green in color. I stared in horror as he became a Super Mutant before my very eyes. The woman ran her gloved hand down the boys arm, looking at him as if he were her greatest creation.

The super mutants laughed and helped their new mutant stand and try to re orient himself. I cursed silently as I noticed the iv drip I needed just behind the doctor. I watched for a moment longer just contemplating how I was going to go about this, now that the boy had been lost to us. I wanted to help him but Avery was the only one that could be saved. I felt absolutely horrible for not saving the boy and the detective in me was frustrated. I sat there for a moment wondering what I could do as a distraction, when the boys eyes widened again and he started screaming one more. I stared confused as he looked around at the other super mutants in terror, even the scientist looked angry. 

"He seems to remember what happened to him. What a waste." The scientist sighed as the others grabbed hold of his wrists. This was my only chance to save him, I only wondered if his mother would want him back if he looked like this. 

 

"LET GO OF ME, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!" He screeched as he began flailing around and pushing the others off of him. I grabbed my gun and knew instantly that this would be my only chance to help him. I aimed it at the head of one of the super mutants and pulled the trigger watching as one of them dropped his hold on the boy and turned to me angry.

"Jacob you need to fight if you want to get out of here! Your mother is waiting for you!" I screamed and Jacob seemed to understand what I was saying as he picked up the gurney and slammed it into the other super mutants head causing him to lose his grip on Jacob. Jacob attacked the super mutant that had fallen and began punching him over and over again, while the mutant screamed in pain.

I brought my attention back to the super mutant advancing on me and began shooting him over and over until he fell to the ground leaving us with only the angry scientist. She glared at both of us as I walked over to the super mutant boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"You will regret this!" She hissed out at us before running out of the room through one of the spare doors, I wanted to go after her… but right now my mind was on Avery and how she was dealing with her wound. We left her all alone and I was scared of her waking up alone to see the stitches in her throat. If I had a heart it would be beating out of my chest. 

 

"Let's go, your mother is outside waiting for you." I said softly before walking to grab the iv. 

"Do you think she would still love me like this?" He asked looking at me with the most humane eyes that I had ever seen on a super mutant. 

"I'm sure she will." I say as we walk out to the main hall where Preston and MacCready are waiting for me.

"Wow, we leave you alone for ten minutes and you befriend a mutant. Nice." MacCready muttered sarcastically. Preston eyed the boy nervously but didn’t say a word. 

"His mother is waiting outside the hospital, I will bring him to her and then we can go to Avery. Did you guys get everything?" They both nod and I feel slightly better about how this trip turned out. We all headed outside and as soon as we got out the boy's mother stepped out of behind the hospital she looked at all of us followed by the mutant. When her eyes landed on him she just knew. Tears filled her eyes but that didn’t stop her from running to him and wrapping her arms around him and crying happily.

I smiled at the tear filled reunion for a moment before MacCready sighed impatiently. "We have to go now but im happy I was able to return your son to you." I explained as kindly as I could. The woman pulled away from her son and took my hand in hers and smiled at me through her tears. 

"Thank you so much, We are from a settlement to the east called NordHagen beach. You are welcome there anytime." I nodded as they took their leave and I turned to the impatient MacCready. It's time to go back to Avery and I pray she's alright.   
**  
MacCready  
The whole way there I couldn't stop worrying about her, I couldn't believe that this happened right after she split up with me. Had I been there she would have been okay, nothing bad would have happened to her.

I could have protected her, but that was something I couldn't really think about right now. What was done was done and all I could think of now was comforting her and being there for her through this. When we got to Sanctuary I looked towards nick who pointed at the house she was in. I handed him the supplies and took off running towards where she was waiting for me.


	18. Nate..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so first off I'm sorry about not updating as often anymore I'm writing from my phone now because my laptop is getting fixed so chapters may have slightly more mistakes. I hope you enjoy the chapter it will be the last one before Avery starts going on missions again.

Avery  
Everything hurts, my throat hurts so much and I still can’t talk. Deacon has sat with me patiently awaiting Nick and Preston’s return. I didn’t want Deacon to feel worse about staying with me so I wore a smile on my lips. But the truth was I wasn’t feeling any better only weaker and weaker as the days passed. Deacon would help feed me and bring me water and stand by to make sure I didn’t hurt myself when I was bathing. We wordlessly had gotten closer and I honestly felt like I needed to rely on him for everything. I was sitting on my bed looking out at my old neighborhood, memories of Nate flooded my mind for the first time in weeks. 

Part of me wanted to go into that Vault once again and see if it was real. To see if he was really gone, the other wanted to forget Nate ever existed. I knew that was me being a coward. I was startled from my thoughts as Deacon entered my room with a glass of water in hand. 

“What’s on your mind sweetheart?” He murmured instantly picking up on my mood. 

“I want to see Nate.” I mouth a small frown pulling at my lips. He handed me the glass and followed my gaze out the window at everyone working out there. 

“His grave is close to here isn’t it?” He questions his gaze slowly flickering back to me. I nod wincing when I tug a little to hard on my stitches. 

“I’ll take you there…if you want…?” He stands offering me his hand. I swallow hard and stand on weak feet. I stumble falling straight into Deacons arms. I silently curse looking up at him with an apologetic gaze, he only smiles. My eyes widen in shock as he sweeps my feet from under me and lifts me bridal style a smirk on his lips. I only sigh leaning into his touch as he carries me out of the house. I wrap my arm around his neck smiling at everyone who waves at us. 

“sure are popular around here boss.” Deacon says nodding his head at them before continuing around the house toward the trail to the Vault. My grip on him seems to tighten as we reach the top of the hill. The metal door leading us to the Vault was right here in front of us Deacon looked at me one last time silently giving me a chance to back out of this. When I didn’t say anything Deacon proceeded onto the platform causing the Vault door to lower us under ground. He held me tighter as my hands began to tremble, I was scared to see his corpse once more. When we reached the bottom of the Vault I has Deacon set me down, he stayed close in case I fell. I used the wall to support me as I made my way back through the corridors until I was back in the cryochamber where Shaun had been taken from me. I swallowed hard, all my instincts were screaming at me to run from this place and never come back. Deacon stood back and allowed me to walk on my own to where Nate was.  
When I got there I took a deep breath before opening the cryochamber but when it opened Nate’s body….it was gone. My heart was racing in my chest as I stared at the empty cryochamber. I fell to my knees just staring in shock, I saw him die there is no way in hell he could have walked out of here. 

“Ave you okay?” Deacon murmured taking a few steps closer until he was standing at my side looking at the empty chamber. 

“I thought you said he was dead?” Deacon whispered an obvious frown on his lips.

“I saw him get shot in the head there’s no way…” I mouthed trailing off as Deacon lifted me to my feet. 

“let’s go back.” He murmured as he picked me up bridal style once more as he headed out of there. I felt unease grip my heart as he walked further and further away from the chamber where my family had been taken from me. Deacon remained quiet the entire walk back to Sanctuary. I had no idea what to think, there was no way he could have survived and yet his body was no where to be found.

”Avery!” a familiar voice broke through the gloom that set itself inside of me. I looked up to see MacCready running full speed my way. I heard Deacons exasperated sigh as he set me down. Before I knew it MacCready’s arms were tightly wrapped around me. I hugged him back just as tightly closing my eyes as the tears burned in my eyes. I’ve missed him so much ever since I left Good Neighbor. He pulled away from me to look into my eyes with his pale blue orbs. I felt guilt and ultimately happiness as he leaned his forehead against mine.

“Hi” I mouthed as I looked up into his eyes. He smiled kindly at me.

“Hi doll.” He murmured as we stared at each other. “You don’t look well at all, if I hadn’t let you leave maybe I could have protected you.” He said looking at me with a strained expression. I frowned up at him realizing the horrible guilt he must have been feeling. 

“please doll say something.” He whispered against my hair as he placed a kiss on the crown of my head. “she can’t. “ MacCready blinked in surprise as the ever quiet Deacon spoke.

“Deacon…. What do you mean she can’t?” Deacon sighed as he came to stand next to me.  
“when that death claw got her he must have severed her vocal chords. She hasn’t been able to speak since it happened.” MacCready swallowed hard looking at me sympathetically.

“We will help you through this Avery, I promise we will help you get your voice back.” He says a determined fire entered his eyes.

“MacCready!” Nick called to him in a stern voice.

“Give her some space… we need to get her hooked up to the iv and started on the antibiotics immediately.” Nick said narrowing his eyes at MacCready who didn’t even seem slightly discouraged. 

“come on sweetheart let’s get you into a bed.” Deacon said sweeping me off my feet once more.

“He’s right you need to recover my love.” MacCready said making Deacon silently seethe as he carried me back to my home. I just watched as Deacon laid me in my bed and Nick began setting my iv up. After he finished he cleaned my arm before placing the iv needle in my arm. I winced at the slight prick and watched as MacCready rummaged through the bag they brought for a small bottle of pills. He took a bottle of purified water and handed them both to me. I smiled at him taking the pills and drinking them. 

“look at that some of your color is coming back.” Deacon smiled as he ran his knuckles down my cheek. 

“I hate to do this to you again sweetheart. But I got places to go now that I’m sure you are safe” He says forcing a smile on his face. 

“Are you on some sort of official business?” Nick questions looking at Deacon with a smile. 

“why Mr.Valentine I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean.” He says as Nick walks him out of the house, I stare after him confused for a moment as he just leaves. I stood up and went after him making the iv rip out of my skin.

“Avery!?” MacCready cried alarmed by my behavior. I pushed past him, I didn’t even flinch at the pain in my arm I ran until I managed to catch Deacon. Right at the edge of Sanctuary I wrapped my arms around his waist, he turned to look at me in shock. He looked at me confused as he placed a hand on my cheek. 

“what are you doing sweetheart?” he said softly. I didn’t know what to say other than “Don’t leave.” He clenched his teeth together and looked away from me. 

“I can’t stay just to watch you with him. I can’t handle seeing you with him.” He explained in frustration. I didn’t know what to say, what I could possibly say to make him stay with me. I opened my mouth but no words came out. He stares at me painfully before leaning down his breath mingling with mine, our lips only centimeters apart. I’m paralyzed under his spell as I look up into his dark ruby eyes. I shiver as his fingertips skim down my arms, the goosebumps raise on my skin as my breaths come quicker an quicker. 

I tremble as he brings my body closer to his, Deacons eyes seem to darken at my reaction, time seems to stop as he leans closer until our mouths are just barely touching. My senses are heightening and my body feel like a wildfire has been set ablaze in my veins. I close my eyes in anticipation as I dig my nails into his skin, I’m terrified of what I’m feeling because this isn’t the reaction I want to have towards Deacon. When I don’t feel his lips against mine I open my eyes to see him pull away almost as if he thought the situation through better. 

“you should get back to your little merc.” His voice is cold and I feel the distance that is set between us as I look at his face to see some sort of reason to why he’s being this way. He pulls away from me and turns his back to me walking out of Sanctuary as I stare after him dumfounded. At that moment all my strength leaves me and I fall to the ground. 

“Miss Avery!” I look over at Preston who runs over to me looking at me confused. I close my eyes as they suddenly get blurry. 

“Are you in pain? Please tell me what I can do to help you.” He says brushing the tears from my face that I hand even realized I shed. 

“Nick.” I mouth to him. 

“you want me to go get Nick Valentine?” he questions and I nod as I sit on the road looking at Deacons retreating back. Preston quickly rises running towards Sanctuary to bring my companion.

“Avery!” I look up with a solemn expression as Nick raises me to my feet. He walks me to the house where MacCready is standing there serious expression on his face. 

“what we’re you thinking!?” Nick sighed as I simply shrugged. He fixed the iv placing it back on my arm. I just stare at my lap thoroughly confused. Nate body is gone, I have yet to figure out what to do about MacCready and Hancock. As well as the fact that Shaun is still missing and I feel like I just lost Deacon. 

“About what happened back at the police station…. You denied having anything to do with Deacon…?” My eyes trailed to MacCready who looked as if he was piecing things together. 

“Now is not the time for your petty jealousy MacCready.” Nick hissed making MacCready glare in his direction.

“get out and let Avery sleep in peace.” MacCready looks like a lost puppy as he stares at me one last time before leaving the house.  
When I awoke I was greeted by the morning light peering through my window. I blinked my eyes open feeling a warmth against my side, I curled against it expecting Deacon. But yesterday’s events all came whirling through my memory. I sat up confused looking down to see MacCready resting on his stomach his hand lying over my thighs. I sighed softly to myself looking at the iv bag that had been replaced during the night. To be honest I felt a lot better than I had before I felt as if my energy had returned. MacCready stirred and looked up at me with a sleepy smile. 

“I miss waking up to you.” He murmured his voice husky and still laced with sleep. I smiled in return as he scooted closer laying himself over my lap. I ran my fingers through his chocolate hair.

“Damn it.” I murmured to myself wondering where Deacon could have disappeared off to. 

“Did you speak?” MacCready sat up in excitement as he stared into my eyes. I winced as I tried to speak a little louder than I had before. 

“I….it hurts still...” my voice was kind of scratchy but It sounded clearly through the room. I heaved a sigh of relief realizing the medicine was working .

“why don’t we go out for a walk doll, it’ll do you some good to get out and get some air.” MacCready said as he sat up and started getting dressed. I took some more antibiotics before I followed after him slipping out of my bed and heading towards my clothing drawer pulling out my raider harness once more. I turned my back MacCready taking off my night gown. When I finished getting dressed I turned around to see MacCready staring at the ground his cheeks a rosy pink. 

“are you ah done?” he questions shyly.  
“Y-Yes.” I murmur as he turns to face me with a small smile on his lips. We walked together outside together and I noticed Sturgis trying to make a bed outside. I tugged on MacCready’s arm as we walked over to him. 

“well look at that! You look better already!” Sturgis replied with a smile. 

“Do you need help?” I question looking down at the poor bent metal excuse for a bed he was working on. 

“I would say no since you are recovering but we gotta turn this place into a settlement so we can survive out here.” He says frowning slightly.

“How many beds do you need?” He looks around us counting those of his group who were left then Nick as well. 

“About six beds.” I nod taking the hammer and metal pieces from him and begin to work molding the metal until it looks like a makeshift bed frame. After watching me build the first one MacCready joined in and within the hour we had built all 6 beds. Sturgis moved them all to surrounding houses that the others had chosen. The days passed with MacCready and working side by side to get this settlement to become a home for everyone. Before long we had built water purifiers, had the houses in livable conditions. We planted vegetables and fruit trees through out the town and fortified it with turrets.

“you’ve done a great service for the Minutemen.” I keep my eyes on MacCready who is setting up a beacon for our settlement to call others here. 

“I just wanted to help out that’s all.” I say finally turning to face Preston who is staring at me with a strange expression.

“There is one last thing I have to ask of you. I want you to become the General of the minutemen. The good thing about being the last of us is that no one can contest my decision of making you our general. I think you have what it takes to make the minutemen strive and rebuild us.” I stare at him surprised, that was the last thing I expected him to say.

“Preston… I don’t think I should be the one.” I say softly. 

“Please Miss Avery. The minutemen need you.” He says taking his my hands in his. 

“I. ..okay. Thank you for trusting me Preston. I hope I can live up to your expectations.” I nodded a smile on my face. 

“thank you… general. Anything you need please speak with me.” Preston shakes my hand before I go over to where MacCready is finished with the beacon.

“tonight is our last night. Tomorrow we hunt down Kellogg.” I declared watching MacCready smirk, he was happy to help me destroy that monster.


	19. Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait ive been trying to get over my writers block so the chapter may not be that good but i will try to make it better as i continue this story

Avery   
MacCready and I followed behind dogmeat as he led us through a desolate town. He began pawing and whining at the door of a fortified building. I shivered as I looked at the boarded up windows and doors. Shaun is here, my baby is waiting for me. 

"Hey... It's gonna be okay." MacCready whispered as his arms wrapped around me, his forehead leaned on the back of my head. 

"He has my Shaun... and I am going to kill him for stealing my baby. For ripping my life apart." I whispered softly as I turned in MacCready's arms. He walked me back a few steps and trapped me between his arms. 

"No matter what happens here, Avery. I will be here, waiting this out with you." I smiled softly and leaned closer for just a moment placing a chaste kiss on his lips before pushing him away.

"Let's end this." I murmur as MacCready follows me around the corner of Fort Hagen, the military base where Kellogg sought refuge. We made it into a parking garage that housed broken down vehicles as well as the corpse of a woman who seemingly passed away of natural causes. MacCready took everything he could salvage from her body before nodding his head in the direction of a door inside the fort. 

We both raised our weapons as I reached for the door know quietly turning it before pushing the door open. MacCready aimed inside but luckily there was no one. We both entered and when that door closed behind us I felt absolutely anxious, one of us wouldn't be leaving this place alive. It was either him or me and I'm not about to let my son live without his mother and father. Immediately we entered a small hallway leading upstairs and then a door on the right. I went for the door pulling on the handle only to hear its lock rattling on the opposite side. 

I sighed in frustration as MacCready placed a hand on my shoulder. We walked back around to the staircase walking up towards the main floor of the fort. I gripped my railway rifle tightly as we walked up 4 sets of staircases before reaching a set of double doors with one torn off. Next to it was a terminal, I got closer my fingertips tapping the keys as I hacked through the terminal as quickly as I could. Once I was in I managed to reactivate a protectron, I activated him as a Medical Responder. 

"I don't know why you bother with those things. I never really could wrap my head around all that technological sh--crap." MacCready muttered from behind me. 

"It will help us handle this place. Knowing that bastard Kellogg he probably set all kinds of traps to stop me from making it to him." I murmur following behind the protectron, until a blue laser beam flies between us. All I feel is MacCready as he pulls me back against him to stop the laser from hitting me.

I raised my railway rifle aiming it at the humanoid synth that almost shot me. I pull the trigger watching as a nail embeds itself into the synths head nailing it to the wall. 

"Get down!" I crouched down as MacCready shot another synth that appeared from the door in front of us. I crawled towards the staircase hiding behind the wall, as I aimed at a synth coming up behind MacCready. My hands were shaking so much I missed. Before I knew what was happening I threw myself into the synth knocking it into the room with the double doors. We fell hard onto the ground causing my rifle to fall from my grip skidding away from me on the hardwood floor. 

The synth crawled on top of me one of its hands gaining a crushing grip on my throat while it raised the other to punch me in the face. I gasped trying my hardest to breath through what little room I had. Right, when it brought its hand down I managed to turn away causing the hit to land on the floor rather than my face. 

"MacCready!" I screamed out looking over as he shot the synth on me knocking it off of me for long enough for me to crawl to my gun. I grabbed aiming it at the synths head pulling the trigger without a thought, disabling the synth. I turned seeing MacCready on the floor holding his stomach in pain. I ran to his side placing a stimpack into his neck. I listened as he sighed in relief allowing me to lift him to his feet.

"Thanks doll, fucking synth got me when I looked away." He replied softly his eyes trailing to my neck. 

"Does it hurt?" I shake my head my fingers reaching to my neck feeling the skin raised and swollen.

"I don't feel a thing." He gives me a worried glance as we continue to where the protectron cleared a room for us. The room was a disaster but I paid it no mind I walked passed the protectron who went into a small gap in the wall where a milk dispenser was overturned. We continued onwards through the fort getting rid of every synth that we encountered until we reached the elevator of the fort. 

 

By the time we stepped inside I was trembling, my nerves running haywire. I'm close... so close to my baby. The elevator began ascending into one of the upper floors where MacCready and I were dropped off. The door opened and we stood in front of a long desolate hallway. 

"Well look who it is. My old friend the frozen tv dinner. Last time I saw you, you were cozying up to the peas and apple cobbler." That voice caused a shiver down my spine, there was no doubt that it was him. The man who killed Nate and stole my son. The closer we got the more he seemed to get frustrated. 

"Sorry your house has been a wreck for 200 years but I don't need a roommate...Leave." His voice echoed through the room eerily. We passed through a set of double doors only to hear him speak again.

"Never thought you'd come knocking on my door. I gave it a 50/50 shot of you making it to Diamond city. After that? I figured you'd get chewed up by the commonwealth like beef jerky." I swallowed hard trying my hardest to ignore him. 

"Look you're pissed off I get it but whatever you hope to accomplish in here isn't gonna happen. You've got guts and determination, and that's admirable. But you are in over your head in ways you can't possibly comprehend." MacCready took my hand in his while I looked up at one of the cameras watching me. 

"I'm coming for you Kellogg and not even the institute is going to save you this time." I hiss at the camera only hearing his laugh in response. 

"It's not too late. Stop. Turn around and leave. You have that option. Not a lot of people can say that." He responds again sounding as calm as possible. 

"Who does this asshole think he is?" MacCready growled, his hand tightening in mine. I ignored his taunts and continued through the destroyed rooms filled with memories of a life before all of this. I stopped at a door that was mechanical, there would be no way for me to enter. Just as I was about to look to MacCready and as for a grenade I heard his voice again. 

"Okay, you made it. I'm just up ahead. My synths are standing down. Let's talk." The door swung open and I had to wipe the tears that had rolled down my cheeks. MacCready said nothing only squeezed my hand in encouragement. I pulled my hand from his running into the room where I came face to face with the man who stole everything from me. His synths had their weapons raised for only a moment before going to stand behind Kellogg. My eyes scanned the room and we were alone, Shaun isn't here... he doesn't have him. 

"And there she is. The most resilient woman in the commonwealth. Funny, I thought I had that honor." MacCready came in behind me his trusty sniper aimed at Kellogg's head. 

"You came a long way.... let's hear it." I shook my head glaring at him as my grip on my railway rifle tightened. 

"You... are a dead man. Where the fuck is my son?! Where is Shaun?!" Kellogg grinned before tilting his head and shrugging. 

"You are too late, your son though a bit older than you expected, is right where he belongs. At his home in the institute." My heart sank while my anger grew more and more intense. I squeezed the handle of my railway rifle as I stare at Kellogg.

"Though I'm tired of talking you and I both know how this ends." He said and we watched as his synths came out of the shadows and aimed their laser rifles at us. 

"I will get my boy back, no one nor anything will get in the way of that." I said shooting Kellogg in the shoulder. He gave a shout of surprise before turning on his stealth boy. I took advantage and shot down a synth who had gotten too close to MacCready then ducked behind one of the shelves I was closest to. 

I looked around for Kellogg but I couldn't see him anywhere, just as I was about to leave my hiding place a bullet passed through the shelf right next to my head causing a shiver to run down my spine. I turned on my Pip-boy light before pushing the shelf over, I watched for him and any movements he would make. It was only slight but I could see the area where he stood was just a bit blurry around where his figure was. I lifted my railway rifle shooting him in the leg.

He appeared only briefly as he clutched his leg in pain. Just like that he was gone again, only, this time, I couldn't see him at all, I sat frustrated looking around as MacCready handled the other synths. Then just as I was about to go help my partner I felt it. The feeling of a slight tug on my clothes. Within seconds, I was in Kelloggs grip a pistol aimed at my head.

"Looks like you lose." MacCready spun around to face us his eyes wide.

"This is where the both of you die." He laughed softly while MacCready stared into my eyes in fear. I took a deep breath before slamming my head back against Kellogs face. "Fuck!" he hissed as he stumbled back his hand covering his face. A whimper escaped my lips at the pain radiating through my skull, but I didn't stop. I picked up my gun and used the bottom of it to slam it into Kelloggs face again causing him to fall back, I went right after him sitting over his stomach as I continued to ram my gun into his face. 

"AVERY, Avery stop! He's dead!" MacCready called to me trying to pull me away from the mess I had made. I slapped his hands away from me before hitting Kelloggs corpse a few more times. When I looked down, there was blood everywhere and I felt like I was going to be sick. My hands began trembling uncontrollably as the tears rolled down my cheeks, killing Kellogg didn't make me feel any better. My son was torn from my grasp once again and I felt like I was dying. 

"Fuck, look at all that tech, he wasn't even human anymore." MacCready said as he pulled me off of Kellogg and into his arms. 

"It's gonna be okay doll, this is just a small setback. Let's take everything this guy has on him and check the terminals around here and report back to Nick." He murmurs as he runs a comforting hand through my hair. 

"Its okay... it's going to be okay... We are going to find Shaun." Those words that he spoke were the only thing keeping me together, the only thing that made me pick myself back up and take everything Kellogg had on him before checking a computer he had fallen by. Once we had gotten everything we needed MacCready took my hand and lead me to an elevator on the far side of the hall. The only way was to continue going up, so we did. After a silent ride through the elevator, we made it outside, I sucked in a breath of fresh as my emotions threatened to ruin me once more. 

"People of the commonwealth. Do not interfere our intentions are peaceful. We are the Brotherhood of Steel!" I blinked up at a large airship passing overhead, the brotherhood of steel? Didn't Danse invite me to join them? "Son of a---- Its the goddamn brotherhood of steel. What are they doing here?" MacCready groaned from behind me as he rubbed his face tiredly.

"Lets go back to Sanctuary. I need rest." I said softly looking back at MacCready who only nodded.


	20. The brotherhood of steel

Avery

I sat on the bed of my prewar home a bottle of whiskey in hand as I tried to drown out the pain of losing Shaun once more. I feel lost, part of me wonders if it should have been Nate that should have lived rather than me. He would have found Shaun by now, I swiped the angry tears from my eyes. Never in my life have felt this helpless, but sitting here drinking my days away won't fix my problems I am going to take down Winlock and Barnes with MacCready before heading back to see Nick. 

I set the bottle on the nightstand and stood up heading outside to sober myself up a little bit. 

"Hello General, How are you feeling today?" Preston greeted me with a smile on his face. 

"I'm doing okay Preston, hows everyone else do you have everything you need?" He nodded looking around at the new settlers that had joined in my absence. 

"Yes, we do. You really have turned this place into a great community. I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you've done for us, Miss Avery." I placed a hand on his shoulder and shook my head.

"You have nothing to repay me for, just keep these people safe Pres," I smiled back at him as he offered me his hand to shake. I took it in mine patting it for a moment. 

"I'm going to be off on my way, take care of everything while I'm gone." His face turns slightly pink as he nods.

"Of course, General, take care." I slip my hands from his and turn to scan the settlement for MacCready, He had been steering clear of me since I had begun drinking. When I catch sight of him my stomach drops, he has a beautiful emerald eyed, raven haired girl, wrapped around his arm. I stare at her arm linked with his as they laugh sharing drinks together. They are sitting inside one of the houses probably looking for privacy, suddenly I understand why MacCready had been eerily absent during my torment because he had found someone new to spend his time with. 

He's bored and already moving on, it takes everything in me not to storm over there and say something. I bit my tongue and watched them for once more moment, just then MacCready's stormy blue eyes caught mine. His eyes were sad as they looked back into mine, but they didn't hold an explanation to what he was doing. I felt myself blinking more rapidly, his face getting more and more blurry. I turned away before he could see me shed any tears I continued past them, running from Sanctuary as fast as I can.

I want Deacon, I want him here. I want to hear him call me sweetheart and tell me everything is going to be okay. Then I feel a hand wrap around my upper arm pulling me around to face them, it was MacCready. I blinked away the tears that marred my vision. 

"Avery...It's not what you think." I laugh through my tears because part of me wants to believe it, but the other part isn't that naive. 

"Avery... please?" I look up at him and slap him hard, he places a hand on his aching cheek. 

"Okay, I deserved that." I pull out of his grip and push him away from me causing him to stumble . 

"I'm not doing this MacCready, after what happened you thought I would be fine with this?" I question past the lump forming in my throat. 

"That after my son disappearing from my grasp, that I could handle seeing someone I care so much about do this when they pretend to love me so much!" He freezes and I see him letting go just like that. 

"I can't love you, not while I still love Lucy." That hurts, a lot more than I expected it to. Everything hurts and I feel like I'm drowning, but through my pain, I still manage to respond. 

"Thank you for everything MacCready but it's high time we parted ways for good." He stares at me and I can tell he's hurting too but his declaration was enough for me to just let go. "Goodbye," I whispered into the air as I turned my back on him. 

***  
Paladin Danse  
Bored, I'm awfully bored. Ever since the Prydwen landed in the commonwealth the cavalry came but it came with an unexpected gift. Miss Sarah Lyons from the capital wasteland chapter of the brotherhood of steel. She thinks she's in charge since she had a past with Arthur, if it weren't for the fact that I don't want to stress him any more than he already is, I would ban her from the police station. 

Currently, I'm stuck at the gates watching for stray ghouls or super mutants, but no such luck. 

"Uh Paladin Danse, Can we talk?" I hear Haylen question from behind me.

"Of course, knight, what's on your mind?" I ask still looking out at the empty road. 

"It's about Rhys..." I lost focus on her words when I saw a familiar red haired woman. Her hair wasn't braided this time it was flowing, the wind whipping it all over her face as she walked alone through Cambridge. Then for a moment, all I saw was the memory of her the night before arc jet. She looked stunning wearing that mercs jacket as she looked for the roof. She shivered but I doubt she realized it, I brought her a blanket. 

She thanked me with a soft kiss on the cheek, one of the only ones I can remember receiving in my lifetime. When my name escaped her lips, I felt a strange warmth sprout in my chest. 

"Paladin...! Paladin! Danse!" I blinked at Haylen who was waving a hand in front of my face. 

"Excuse me Haylen, there is something I have to do," I say before shedding my power armor and heading after her. She doesn't seem to hear me or maybe she doesn't care as she continues on her way. I look up at the sky seeing the small droplets begin to fall. I catch up to her wrapping my hand around her arm. She spins around her other arm ready to punch me in the face. I catch her hand right before it hits my face. She stares at me for a moment before she processes who I am. 

"Oh my god! Danse, I'm so sorry! I thought you were..." She trails off as her face morphs into a mask of horror and embarrassment. But through that, I can see her tear-streaked cheeks, her red puffy eyes. She slowly lowers her hand and I don't know what to say, and then I remember Haylen. When she cried, I held her in my arms until she was alright. I swallowed hard and without a thought I wrapped her in my embrace.

I could hear her startled gasp before she broke down, I held her tightly in my arms as cried her arms circling around me after a moment. It had been a long time since I had shown anyone any sort of affection and I had no idea why I was doing it now, but I held tighter when I heard her small sobs. We stand there like that for what feels like forever, my arms hurt and my legs are beginning to cramp from not moving. She pulls away wiping her watery steel eyes.

"Thanks, Danse." She said softly offering me a gentle smile, but overall she looked tired and slightly hungover. 

"I wanted to say thank you, the cavalry finally made it, which means Elder Maxon is here." She rubs her eyes and looks up at the sky allowing it to wash away her pain.

"Who is Elder Maxon?" she questions, her bloodshot steel eyes finally meeting mine.

"He is the commander of this division of the brotherhood of steel. He is a model of what every brotherhood of steel soldier hopes to become. If we are going to war you can bet he's leading the charge." War... that word seems to spark something in her, a familiarity that she seems comfortable with.

"That being said if you'd like you can get to know the Prydwen up close and personal if you decide you'd like to join me." She nods seemingly willing to give herself over to the brotherhood of steel without so much as a fight. 

"Yes, I'll go with you Danse." I can't fight the smirk that appears on my lips. 

"Come with me to the roof, we are going for a little ride." She smiles and allows me to lead her back to the police station, where Haylen is waiting for me looking frustrated until she catches a glimpse of Avery. 

"AD VICTORIAM!" she says saluting us causing Avery to nod in her direction. 

"What do we have here? A scavver? a retired raider?" Fuck... It's her, Sarah Lyons. 

"A wanderer," Avery responds offering her hand to the older woman. Sarah stares at her hand for a moment before dismissing it. 

"The brotherhood of steel isn't just a game, a way for people like you to get a hot meal. We are family, not people who would just run at the first sign of trouble, leaving our comrades in danger." She says and I can tell she's offended Avery, Shes glaring at Sarah with the cruelest look I had ever seen, it rivaled that of Maxon when I asked about the scar on his face. 

"I don't know who you think you are spouting your rules at me like you understand me. I've known more about what it's like being in the military and what it's like to feel like family with the people dying at your side since before you were born!" She spat making Sarahs expression falter, I doubt she had ever been yelled at before. I can't help but grin smugly as Sarah gets put in her place. 

"I'll be waiting for you on the roof Danse." She says walking passed a stunned Sarah. "She is feisty. I think she just might have what we need to bring the commonwealth to our side." She says raising an eyebrow at me.

"Where did you find her?" I watched Avery head into the building with Haylen as I turned back to Sarah. 

"She came to me herself, willing to join the brotherhood." She nods at me and for the first time in my life, I see Miss Lyons smile.

"Great work paladin, Maxon will be pleased." She placed a gentle hand on my shoulder for a moment before turning away from me and going to check on the others outside. I'm surprised because since she got here, Sarah has had it out for me, I shake away the thoughts and head inside behind Avery. 

When I got there Avery was leaned against the door her arms crossed, I led her to the vertibird boarding it before offering her my hand. She stared at me for a moment as a strange expression appeared on her face. I couldn't help but wonder what she was seeing while she is staring at me like that?

Suddenly her face filled with determination and she reached out to me her hand tightening around mine. I pulled her into the vertibird and stared into her steel eyes for a moment. 

"That minigun behind you is fully loaded and ready to fire. If you spot any hostiles during the flight, I suggest you put it to good use." She lets my hand go and nods as she takes a seat next to it. I go to stand on the other side of the vertibird and hold on to the railing to keep myself steady.


	21. tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anyone still reading this?

Avery  
Home isn't a place I had thought about in a while, I didn't believe Sanctuary was much of a home. Anywhere that Nate and Shaun were, probably would be what I call home. But I don't even have that now.  
Danse took me to the roof where an old military vertibird was sitting at the helipad. The way it looked that's exactly where we are going, I tried not to let my fear of heights deter me from stepping onto the vertibird and grabbing the railing so I wouldn't fall. 

"To the Prydwen!" Danse called over the sound of the rotor blades began spinning, I held on tightly as Danse climbed in next to me. 

"Are you alright initiate, you seem a bit pale?" He questioned and I simply nodded, I felt like I would be sick if I opened my mouth. Danse's deep chuckle filled my ears calming my nerves as we finally made it in the air.

"Beautiful isn't it? The Commonwealth could be so much more, but its inhabitants refuse to allow us to help them in any way. They are volatile creatures that insist upon living their lives in this misery, we could protect them, bring back order to this lawless land. I truly want you to be a part of this, of something more where you have people who care about you and who would give their lives to protect you. This is why I asked you to join us, you have the potential to be great within the brotherhood." His words sounded like a promise and a reminder of who I used to be before the bombs fell.

The brotherhood is the closest to a military chain of command I will ever have again. "I'm with you, the way you see this world. I would like to see it the way you do one day." It was almost as if I was volunteering myself to stay with him... though he didn't seem to mind. The ride passed in the blink of an eye and we were boarding the Prydwen. Danse jumped down before me offering his hands so he could lift me down on to the platform. I playfully rolled my eyes at him and allowed him to lift me down onto the Prydwen. We walked side by side to a man dressed in a captains uniform, they greeted each other by standing at attention and placing their fist over their hearts.

"Permission to come aboard sir." Danse questioned showing this man the utmost respect. "Granted, let me be the first to congratulate you on a successful mission.... Is this the new recruit?" He eyed me up and down and I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. 

"Yes, sir! I field promoted her to initiate and I would like to sponsor her entry into our rankings personally." I felt a surge of pride course through my veins as Danse announced his plans, I was happy to know how much faith he had in me. 

"You'll be pleased to know Elder Maxon has approved your request and has placed the recruit in your charge." Danse heaved a sigh of relief, I tried not to shutter. There was a chance that I could have been taken from Danse' charge? 

"And my current orders?" Danse questioned. 

"To remain on the Prydwen until further notice." Danse nodded at the man before turning to me, leading me inside the large airship. When we got inside a lot of brotherhood members were gathered around a man no older than 25 years old. He had a large scar down the left side of his cheek. He has a scruffy black beard with piercing gray eyes. The man hadn't spoken but the way his eyes looked around the room stopping on me. Without a doubt was the most intimidating gesture he could have made. When he spoke his deep voice commanded everyone in the room so all eyes were on him.

"Brothers and Sisters, the road behind us has been long and fraught with difficulty. Each and every one of you has surpassed my expectations by rapidly facilitating our arrival in the Commonwealth. You have accomplished this amazing feat without a hint of purpose or direction, and most impressively, without question. Now that the ship is in position, it is the time to reveal our purpose and our mission. Beneath the Commonwealth, there is a cancer known as “The Institute” a malignant growth that needs to be cut before it infects the surface. They are experimenting with dangerous technologies that could prove to be the world’s undoing for the second time in recent history. The Institute Scientists have created a weapon that transcends the destructive nature of the atom bomb. They call their creation the “synth”, a robotic abomination of technology that is free-thinking and masquerades as a human being. This notion that a machine can be granted free will is not only offensive but horribly dangerous. And like the atom, if it isn’t harnessed properly, it has the potential of rendering us extinct as a species. I am not prepared to allow the Institute to continue this line of experimentation. Therefore, the Institute and their “synths” are considered enemies of the Brotherhood of Steel, and should be dealt with swiftly and mercilessly. This campaign will be costly and many lives will be lost. But in the end, we will be saving humankind from its worst enemy…itself. Ad Victoriam!" He chanted and the others chanted with him, his words captivated me. 

They were the answer to destroying those beasts that stole Shaun from me. His eyes stayed trained on me as the other knights passed us and returned to their posts. I stepped closer, Danse shadowing my footsteps as we faced Maxon. 

"I care about them you know... The people of the commonwealth." I raised an eyebrow as I crossed my arms over my chest. 

"Care about them? I thought we were preparing for war?" I questioned as the corner of Maxons lips turned up slightly.

"To prevent a war, the brotherhood has to start one of their own. The difference, is our war won't reduce civilization to ashes." I swallowed hard, his words were a complete contradiction, but the way he said them with such utter and total confidence made me feel like there was more to this than I was seeing. 

"And just what would you like from me?" His eyes scan my face almost as if he is memorizing it.

"I want you to start taking responsibility for this planet, to start making a difference. From what I've heard from Paladin Danse's reports you've already begun that journey. Also seeing as he is one of my best officers, you couldn't get a better recommendation." I turn to smile up at Danse who only nods in response. 

"There for from this moment on I grant you the rank of knight. And befitting that title, we are granting you a suit of power armor to protect you in battle. Wear it with pride." He says softer this time allowing him to sound like a normal man and not a blood thirsty general.

"Yes sir, I will do what I can for the brotherhood." He nods.

"In any event, once you get familiar with the Prydwen and my staff, report to the flight deck for your new orders. Welcome aboard the Prydwen, Make us proud." He says as he salutes me and I return it before turning back to Danse who is grinning.

"Well let's go meet the crew, you can go on by yourself. Or you can have me join you if its not too intimidating. Sometimes recruits get nervous while their superiors are watching." I playfully roll my eyes at him and smiled. 

"Of course, I want you to join me."

 

****  
After meeting all the other proctors, I found myself in the medical wing. "Glad you finally stopped by soldier. Are you ready for your medical exam?" I looked back to Danse my face flushing slightly. 

"Uh, what kind of Medical exam are we talking about here?" I questioned nervously turning back to the doctor.

"Not the one you are thinking. Im going to ask you a series of medical questions, and I would like you to answer me to the best of your abilities. First question. As a child were you ever exposed to radiation for an extended period of time?" I dont remember radiation ever being a problem. 

"Uh, my father used to tell me I would sit way too close to the television when I was younger." I joked and the doctor stared at me like I was crazy for a moment. 

"The television? wait a second, you were a vault dweller? Let me check my notes, you are probably healthier than everyone else aboard. Anyways sorry I missed that in your records, just going down the list of questions, im sure you understand." I only nodded for him to continue. 

"Okay, next question and please answer honestly. Have you ever had sexual relations with a species considered nonhuman?" I looked to Danse uncomfortably.

"He means such as a Ghoul, a supermutant. youd be surprised how many people do things such as this these days." My whole body goes ridgid at the mention of a ghoul. The only person I have had sex with since I awoke here was Hancock and im pretty sure he qualified as a Ghoul. I opened my mouth blinking confused as I stared between them.

"N-no." I said shaking my head trying not to feel completely guilty about lying to Danse about it.

"AVERY!" I heard my name being called followed by a loud commotion from outside. Danse and I looked at each other before we both ran out of the Medical wing to be greated by Hancock, Deacon, and MacCready surrounded by a bunch of brotherhood members.

"Hands where we can see them or you die right now!" Ingram shouted I ran between them covering the men from getting shot.

"Everyone they are with me, please lower your weapons and I will get them out of here." I said raising my hands in surrender. 

"Take them to your quarters, you can have your privacy there." I nodded to Ingram as everyone sneered in Hancocks direction as he walked with us to my quarters. Danse stood at the door with his arms crossed glaring at the trio who had borded without permisson.

"Can you get him out of here?" MacCready questioned as he crossed his arms. Deacon hid behind his shades but I could feel those unnerving eyes on me, while Hancock seemed more amused than anything. 

"I dont intend to leave Knight Avery with a filthy ghoul and a bunch of insabordinate civilians." They glared at him and I just sighed, too tired to fight with all of them. 

"Danse please I won't be long I promise." His choclate eyes narrowed at me, I could see the anger brewing inside them and I knew I was going to get in trouble for this later. 

"Fine, but get these people off of brotherhood territory soon, they arent welcome here." He growls the warning causing me to sigh once more. 

"We wouldnt want to join a group of bigots anyways." Deacon responds his voice playful but I can hear the annoyance behind it. Danse doesnt say anything more he simply stomps out of the room in frustration. 

"Why are all of you here?" I question walking over to Hancock. "I got word you were running with the brotherhood of steel and im seriously wondering what the hell is wrong with you love?" Hancock says walking up to wrap his arms around me. I lay my head on his shoulder as he embraces me. 

"The only thing I care about is finding my boy." I whisper pulling away from him. His ruined hand runs through my hair as Deacon ignores it and drops onto my bed, my eyes follow him only to notice hes a bit beat up.

"What are both of you doing here?" I say turning to MacCready who looks away uncomfortably.

"I came to check up on you sweetheart, see if these brotherhood bastards are treating my boss well." Deacon jokes while MacCready opens his mouth for a moment before closing it. 

"I was roped into this, I know you need space." He says softly making both Deacon and Hancock stare between us curiously. 

"I dont need you three to baby sit me, I can do this, with the brotherhood of steel backing me I can survive this. I can get Shaun back." Deacon sits up and shakes his head. 

"Dont you get it? These guys are only in it for themselves, they believe everything nonhuman should be destroyed. Innocent people will die at their hands and you are all too wiling to help them. Come on sweetheart, think this through." I cant look at him or MacCready, I opt for staring at the wall as Hancock steps aside for Deacon to reason with me. 

"these people are the ones that have the power to help me track down the institute. No one else in the commonwealth can or cares to." Deacon sighed and sat up on my bed. 

"There is another group that could help you, you just arent looking for them." I turn back to look at him biting his lip.

"What group?" He sucks in a deep breath. 

"The cats out of the bag I suppose, there is a group out there called the railroad. They protect and help synths being persicuted by the institute." I hadnt heard anything about this group before. 

"Following the freedom trail." Suddenly it makes sense, he said when I needed to find him that's were he'd be, at the end of the freedom trail.

"how do I find them?" I question looking at the floor, part of me is skeptical. I dont really intend to find this group but if it makes him feel better I will hear him out. 

"please Avery... consider your options." I swallowed hard as he placed his hand on my cheek making me look into his eyes. I didnt realize he was leaning closer until his lips met mine for the very first time. His lips were soft and gentle and even though it was a simple peck I felt warmth coursing through my veins. I couldnt bring myself to close my eyes, I simply stared at Deacons face against mine, because I didnt think it was real. He pulled away looking deep into my eyes once more.

"please sweetheart." He asked again, this time I didnt know what to answer. my mind was swirling with images of his kiss, at this moment, i wanted nothing more than to comply, to do anything Deacon asked. His thumb skimmed over my lower lip as he awaited my answer and finally gathering my bearings I nodded. I was falling into his trap once more but I didnt care, I was willing to throw everything away right at this moment just to feel what I just felt one more time. 

"Well since someone got you to see the light, it looks like we should be on our way." Hancock says softly and I snap out of the spell Deacon had cast on me only to realize that he and Maccready had just watched that. they both looked away uncomfortably, I didnt say a word as they both walked towards the door. 

"Were on our way out." MacCready said as they passed Danse who entered my quarters. 

"Knight, is everything alright?" Danse questions as he eyes how close Deacon is.

"Oh, everything is alright now." He says as he wraps an arm around me pulling me against his side.


	22. Tensions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing i hope you enjoy :D

Danse   
Pure anger, an emotion I had long since forgotten about since I had joined the brotherhood. I've always been known for being level headed but when I saw his arm wrap around Averys slim waist, I almost lost it. 

"Knight, I thought your friends were on their way out." She pulls away from Deacon uncomfortably at the sound of my voice, only to be pulled back to her place. 

"As it turns out Avery needs someone to watch her back and that someone is going to be me." I grit my teeth at him, he seems to grin at my distress. 

"Knight I really don't think this is a good idea unless your friend has some brotherhood ideals." Deacon glared at me as Avery nodded.

"He does, Please Danse allow him to stay." She asks me in her soft pleading voice. I feel my mouth go dry at her request and find that I can't say no to her. 

"Fine but if you are hiding something and I find out what it is and I don't like it, there will be hell to pay." I growl watching his face twist into a smirk as he chuckles. 

"Good thing I have nothing to hide." He says the lie so smoothly anyone else would believe him without question, but not me. I don't like him I want him gone now. But for Avery, i will endure this. She smiles up at him like she's found a long lost friend, I have to step out of the room before I do something stupid. 

"Ah paladin, it appears Maxon has new orders for you." Proctor Tegan said as I nearly bumped into him.

"Thank you, sir, ill be on my way now." I hated Tegan, he was an unnerving man, trust was something that was required of brotherhood members but seeing him. There wasn't one ounce of trust I would be willing to give him. 

I ignored the sharp feeling in my gut and made my way to elder Maxon who was looking out the window of the prydwen towards fort strong. "Arthur, Tegan told me you wished to see me." I murmured saluting him. 

"At ease soldier, I heard the commotion your charge has already caused.... A ghoul and an ex-gunner?" I sucked in a deep breath, lying to Arthur was not something I enjoyed doing.

"They were looking for Avery for some work they needed to be done, turns out she was a bit of a merc before she joined up with me." I lied through my teeth as I stared into maxons stormy eyes. There is no doubt I would be exiled from the brotherhood for this but that didn't mean I wanted her to be either.

He nodded accepting my answer before turning back to his window. "Take a look over there that is fort strong, it is infested with super mutants having those aberrations of nature so close I can smell them is making me sick to my stomach. to make matters worse they are sitting on top of a massive stockpile of fat man shells we could use in our campaign. I want you to go over there and wipe out everything that moves." I bowed my head to him for a moment before nodding. 

"Yes, sir!" He walked closer placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. I walked outside of the prydwen to get some air only to see Avery's other two companions hadn't left. The seemed to be in an argument with Captain Kells. "Captain, don't bother with these two, I shall have them escorted from the prydwen," I say not bothering to get a response grabbing the two of them by their jackets and pulling them to the nearest vertibird. 

"HEY, what the hell is your problem?!" The merc had the nerve to question as I pushed him and his ghoul friend inside.

"You aren't welcome here but I'm going with to assure none of my fellow brothers or sisters kill you. Seeing as you mean something to Avery." The ghoul scoffs and looks at the merc who is shaking his head in annoyance. 

"Hear that, looks like another man pinning after our little Avery." The ghoul muttered clearly amused with the way things had turned out. The way he said our little Avery made my stomach churn.

"What are you both to her?" They looked at each other for a moment, the merc looked uncomfortable while the ghoul lit up a cigarette. 

"Lovers of sorts." He says nonchalantly, his words create daggers of jealousy that pierced my heart. Sick, I felt utterly disgusted at the thought of Averys hands sliding up that ghoul's skin. The thought of him taking her and making her feel any pleasure at all was revolting.

"Avery would never lower herself to allowing a beast like you to take her." He fucking grinned around the lit cigarette dangling loosely from his lips.

"Keep telling yourself that you bigot asshole, I'll have you know she loved every second I was inside her." he was smug and I could see this wasn't a lie. When Avery stuttered inside the medical wing I assumed it was because she was nervous and speaking of her sexual proclivities wasn't something she was comfortable doing in front of two men. She outright lied.... to my face. I swallowed hard, I was angry more so than I had ever been in my life. 

"GET THEM THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT!" I hissed to the pilot of the vertibird who scrambled to do as he was told. While I stomped my way towards Averys quarters.

 

Avery  
After Danse left I stepped closer to Deacon who was sitting on my bed. I situated myself between his legs. my fingertips gently grazing the wounds inflicted on his face. He winced slightly staring at me curiously as I lifted his glasses aside to stare into his beautiful forest eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice was deliciously deep, the way his eyes seemed to darken when they were staring into mine made me quiver. 

"I want to kiss you again." The words seemed to slip from my lips with no permission from me. His lips parted slightly and I could smell him, the intoxicating scent of the forest on a rainy day.

"Arent we forward today...Charmer...? He whispered the new nickname as he pulled me onto his lap. I climbed onto him my and sliding into his black wig without pulling it off. He pulled me against his strong body, I leaned down pressed my lips softly against his bruised cut lip.

He moaned against my lips his tongue thrusting inside as he tangled a strong hand in my hair pushing me harder against his lips. Our tongues met in a sweet dance, there was no hesitation, no playing. We wanted this from the very first moment we laid eyes on each other. I couldn't tell if it was the pure carnal desire to claim him as mine, or if it was love. But hell at this moment I didn't care.

All I want is Deacon, this mysterious man that always seems to turn up when I'm in trouble. The man who treats me like a delicate piece of glass that might shatter if he squeezes too tight. I pull away from his lips when the need for air becomes too great. He's panting, his whole body heaving with need. He picks me up throwing me back against my new bed, a small voice screams that this is not the time for what he is about to do. But I ignore it, the only thing I can think about is Deacon.

His body quickly covers mine his mouth latching onto my neck as I gasp softly into his ear. I feel his tongue slowly run up the column of my neck and I whimper when he bites down hard causing me to arch into him. I feel so needy so helpless to his touch. I want all of him, I need everything he has to give. I gasp as his hand cups my breast squeezing it slowly before sliding down my stomach between my legs about to please me in ways I could only imagine when my door slammed open.

Deacon hissed as he covered my body with his shielding me from Danse who looked out of his mind with rage. I could only guess that this was fueling it.

"Get the hell out of here now, I need to talk to Avery alone!" Danse growled making Deacon clench his fist. "Not going to happen tin can!" 

Deacon growls allowing me to readjust my clothes. "Look, you have one option and that to leave peacefully, Or I will have you thrown from the prydwen." I stared at him in shock as I put a hand on deacons shoulder. 

"Please, it's alright, let me talk to danse." He sighs in frustration before standing up. "I will be right outside the door, if you hurt her, I swear to god, I won't stop until your corpse is being torn into shreds by ghouls." Deacon said his voice deathly calm. He turned to look at me pressing a chaste kiss on my lips before pushing past Danse as he left the room slamming the door behind him.

"Danse are you alright?" I questioned as I slid off of the bed to stand in front of him. He grabbed me and slammed me against the wall, I stared at him in shock. 

"I talked to your ghoul friend." He said it softly but his eyes looked as though he wanted to murder me.

"is that so? what did he say?" I questioned my hand laying over Danse's in my clothes trying to calm him.

"You slept with him." it wasn't a question it only caused his grip on me to tighten. I just bit my tongue and looked up into his eyes. He shook his head opening his mouth to say something...anything but couldn't find the words. 

"John is and has been a great friend to me. When I was thrown into this world, I was all alone. He found me took care of me, he showed me kindness that no one else in this wretched place had shown me after I lost my husband and son." I could feel the tears rolling down my eyelids but I didn't stop. 

"He was there when I felt the whole world weighing on my shoulders, he showed me, I matter to someone. That I am strong enough to find my son. Showed me that no matter what this world has become, I can still find my Shaun and that he would be there backing me every step of the way. You could never understand the love he's shown for me, I don't care if he's a ghoul. I don't care what you think about him." Danse's expression changed into one of sadness and understanding.

"I'm sorry Avery." I pushed him off of me, I couldn't stand that look, I didn't want sympathy. 

"I don't enjoy lies but I understand why you did it. We have a mission from elder Maxon and should head out as soon as possible. I'll wait for you out by the vertibirds." He murmured softly as he opened the door allowing deacon inside. I balled my hands into fists as I looked at the floor, Deacon came close and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I didn't hug him back, I was too angry. 

He simply laid his forehead against mine allowing me a moment to regain myself. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" He asked in a gentle voice, I looked into his eyes and nodded pulling away from him.

"It turns out I have a mission for the brotherhood, will you be joining me?" He doesn't look comfortable with the idea but he agrees anyway. Together we walk to the vertibirds where Danse is talking to Haylen. He turns to look at me with an unreadable expression, I know the face I'm making isn't very inviting either, first day here and we are already arguing. This is going to be a long day.


	23. Show no mercy part one

Avery  
Currently, we are all in the vertibird Deacon is close to my side while Danse and I are both manning the miniguns on both sides of the vertibird.

"Target acquired I will try to keep him in your sights!" The pilot calls back to us. 

"Let's make quick work of this abomination!" Danse called to me. I blinked for a moment looking down below us to see what looked like a giant super mutant. 

"What the hell is that thing?!" I screamed as Deacon leaned over me to get a glimpse outside. "Shit super mutant behemoth." He murmured in my ear causing me to shiver as I aimed at it and began shooting it. That didn't seem to make him happy, he started swiping at our vertibird with what looked like a giant fire hydrant. It screamed in pain as Danse and I shot at it only angering it. Deacon grabbed onto me tightly as the vertibird took a blow from the Behemoth, the vertibird shook careening itself out of control. Left with nothing to hold onto Deacon and I fell, his arms wrapped around me tightly. I could feel him maneuvering us so he was underneath as we landed on a car. The crash shattered any windows the vehicle still had It crunched underneath our weight. 

"Fuck." I groaned as I rolled off of deacon. He hissed in pain while I hit the ground hard my hands getting sliced with the glass from the car.

"A-Avery..." He murmured obviously disoriented. 

"Deac, it hurts." I responded as I stared at my bloody torn up hands. I lifted myself up careful not to press my hands onto anything as I watched deacon forcing himself up off the hood of the car. 

"KNIGHT AVERY!" Danse screamed from the vertibird, I could barely see him my vision was so blurry.

"BEHIND YOU!" Danse called again when I turned I was knocked off my feet by a super mutant. 

"shit!" I groaned hitting the ground hard as a large hand wrapped around my ankle.

"Avery!" Deacon sounded more alert now as he watched me getting dragged towards the behemoth. While a few other super mutants surrounded me, he tried not to get caught. 

"Let me go!" I growled as I looked around for my weapons only to see my backpack hanging from the vertibird. They mutant ignored me only making me more frustrated. I patted through my pockets finding a knife, I looked back to Deacon who was struggling against two super mutants. I gripped the knife tightly in my hands before slamming it into the hand holding my ankle. My hands burned from the fresh cuts on them but I didn't care I stabbed and twisted until the super mutant was screaming in pain. It just barely loosened its grip enough for me to kick my way out of it. I looked up to see the behemoth had gotten closer and was standing right over me, I shivered staring into its bloodshot yellow eyes. I was paralyzed, I could practically hear the other mutants laughing with glee as it brought its weapon down to kill me. 

Finally, my adrenaline kicked in and I rolled to my side forcing myself up until I was running away from the monstrous super mutant. The ground shook at the impact of the blow, I stumbled slightly listening to Danse screaming commands to the pilot as the mutant found them more interesting than me. When I turned back around to look for Deacon he was gone, I felt my heart begin to race and my hands tremble as I searched the battlefield scanning the other super mutants but they didn't have him. Then after a moment, I felt a hand wrap around my waist and my mouth pulling me back behind a broken building. I tried not to panic as I looked down and the hands holding me seemed to be invisible. They let me go, I spun around looking behind me. I could see only the slightest glimmer of the person figure. I heard a few buttons being pressed and then Deacon appeared in front of me once more. 

"Deac!" I cried not being able to contain the joy at seeing him okay, I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly just trying to make sure he was alright.

"Ow, ow, ow, easier there love that fall did hurt." He still managed to smile but at the mention of the fall, I finally realized how much my body ached.

"Where are the weapons?" he questioned looking around the corner making sure any super mutants hadn't gotten closer.

"The vertibird." he looked up only groaning when he sees the black pack hanging by one strap off the vertibird.

"What do we do?" I shrugged looking up as Danse tried his hardest to shoot down the behemoth.

"Either we get back on that vertibird or we end up super mutant chow. Let me just say the latter doesn't sound too appealing." he poorly joked, then a loud screech echoed through the whole area. I covered my ears as I turned back to see Danse had killed the behemoth but where he was falling was directly onto the Vertibird. 

"DANSE!" I could hear myself screaming as I ran to them hoping I could do something, anything to save him. Desperation coursed through my veins as Deacon ran with me, we made it just as the vertibird crashed into the ground. 

"Avery! Avery! Stop, they are...." Deacons words cut off as his arms latched around me. I could see the blood spattered all over the front windows of the vertibird. No... this couldn't be happening, our first mission and I've gotten Danse killed... I blink back the tears as deacon tries to hold me in place. I tried desperately to get away from his grip, to find a way to see if Danse was alright. 

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." His voice was filled with sorrow as he tightened his grip around me. My throat constricted, the blood was starting to make me nauseous. This couldn't be right could it? This was the first person I had lost since Nate and Shaun. I felt his death as though it was Nates and my world started crumbling once more. I fell to my knees, my whole body felt so numb. I stared at the rubble my heart sinking further and further until I heard a groan. 

"Danse....?" I whispered softly as we stared at the rubble. 

"I'm stuck!" The words struck my heart causing it to kick into double time. I ran as fast as I could to the vertibird. 

"Deac, help me with this!" I called back as I wrapped both my arms around the behemoths thumb and started pulling. Deac followed my example and tugged on his thumb with me as hard as he could until its hand slid off the vertibird. I thanked god for the fact that there were no doors. I climbed up wincing as I slid into the broken down machine. Danse was stuck against the minigun that embedded itself into his suit making him unable to move, he was caged against one of the seats within the vertibird. His face was cut up and bleeding only slightly as looked over at me. 

"Are you alright?" I questioned softly as I got closer.

"My suit saved me but I doubt it'll be of any use to me after this. Ingram is going to kill me." He chuckles humorlessly wincing slightly. 

"I'm going to get you out of here." I said as I grabbed the minigun pulling back on it trying to dislodge it. 

"Careful knight." He said worriedly as I tried to no avail to pull him free. 

"Avery." Deacon called from above me lowering a pipe into my hands.

"Try that, if he doesn't get free, I'll come in and help you." I smiled up at him thankfully as Danse cleared his throat uncomfortably. 

"Thanks, Dee." He only nodded a small smile on his lips before sliding off of the vertibird. I used the pipe digging it slightly into Danses armor using it to push the minigun out of the suit. After a few minutes, I managed to pry it loose in time to see the damage. I could see a slight line of red leaking from his stomach. 

"Can you stand?" He nods lifting himself from the floor.

"Get out of the power armor." Again he nods doing as I ordered and as soon as his feet touch the ground he falls into me, I wrap my arms around him as we fall to the floor together. 

"Looks like I was in there too long." He laughs against my neck, I swallow hard as I help him to his feet. 

"Deac! Deac! Danse needs help!" I called out only to be met with silence. Danse and I looked at each other worriedly for a moment. 

"Dee?" I questioned one more time. 

"Maybe he went back to the prydwen to get help?" Danse groaned as he leaned up against the wall. I sighed and started climbing up and out of the vertibird. When I reached the top, I extended my hand to danse who looked at me like I must be joking. He sighed softly before placing his hand in mine.

I pulled as hard as I could while danse used the wall to push himself up and once he reached the top, I lost my balance falling back and taking him with me. He landed on top of me with a grunt and I only cursed my bad luck as my body began to ache in pain again. When I opened my eyes only to be met with the darkest of chocolate eyes and hair in my line of view. My heart raced as I stared at Danse whose face was flushed as we stared at each other for a moment. I felt my own face becoming uncomfortably hot as he stared into my eyes.

Without a word he rolled off of me opting to lie beside me on the concrete ground. When I looked around the other super mutants that had been outside of the fort were all dead.

"You guys still alive?" Deacon called from behind me, I nodded as he sat cross-legged on the floor next to me. He unzipped my pack and pulled out a small bag I had never seen before. It was filled with medical supplies, I looked up at him confused and he only winked as he started treating my wounds. He cradled my hands carefully as he opened a bottle of whiskey with his other hand before taking a big drink from the bottle. I had to grit my teeth as he decided to pour some of the whiskey on my palms, it felt like my hands were on fire as he used a clean gauze to clean the cuts from earlier.

"Sorry sweetheart." He murmurs placing a chaste kiss on my palms before he wraps them up for me. I lay there as he places my hands back down and moves over to Danse to begin treating his wounds. Danse stared at him with apprehensive eyes that softened once he realized that Deacon was trying to help. I turned my head to watch them while Deacon lifted Danse's shirt to see the wound on his stomach. We all winced seeing the large gash on his abdomen, just like before Deacon didn't warn him, he only poured the whiskey on his wound while Danse growled in pain.

"This is going to need stitches," Deacon said after a moment of clearing the blood away.

"Do what is necessary," Danse says through clenched teeth. Deacon shrugs handing Danse the bottle he had just drunk from. Danse took it swiftly drinking from it greedily as Deacon reached for the needle and thread. I reached over my fingertips skidding across the dirt until they found warmth, I slid my fingers into his calloused hands. He turned to face me his chocolate eyes filled with questions, but he didn't speak he only remained with his eyes on me as he continued to drink from the bottle. 

I felt his hand tighten around mine as Deacon began threading the needle through his tanned flesh. He hissed out softly lacing his fingers through mine, I winced rolling onto my side as I laid my head on his chest. He pressed his forehead against mine as Deacon continued sewing his skin together. Deacon slipped the bottle from Danse's grip only to use it on the cut one last time.

"Alright you two its time to sit up, I need to bandage this or it's going to get infected." He said patting on Danse's chest. I used Deacons arm as leverage to sit up and after I get myself up Deacon helps me get Danse up. I raised his shirt allowing Deacon to wrap the gauze around Danse's waist, I looked up at Danse whose face was pink with embarrassment from how much help he was receiving.

"All done, here's some med-x to take the edge off." He said dropping some pills into our hands, I dry swallowed them feeling the aches dull down. Deacon offered me his hand and I took it gratefully as he lifted me off his feet. I picked up my pack and grabbed my railway rifle from inside before putting it over my shoulder. Danse sat for a moment before taking Deacons hand as well standing up straight. 

"well that was fun, what now?" Deacon questions Danse who looks past my shoulder at the vertibird.

"Is she... dead?" He questions softly, I nod placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

"She died with pride, knowing she served the brotherhood well." I whisper the only words that seem appropriate for him and he nods, his face filled with sadness. 

"let's go, we need to secure fort strong." He says turning his back to the rubble we fell into. 

"Yes, sir!" I say as he slips from my grasp and I watch him walk ahead of us to the fort.

"Hey, he will be alright." Deac murmurs taking my hand and gently tugging me towards the fort. 

"I hope so." I sighed squeezing his hand lightly. We made it to the fort and Danse stood at the doors looking back at us for a moment. 

"our objective is the fat man shells these mutants have in their possession. We should all go our separate ways, whoever finds them first can just call out to the others." I nod biting my lip slightly, I wasn't a big fan of splitting up not after we got our asses kicked so thoroughly. 

"Wait," Deacon said putting his arm in front of the door so danse couldn't enter. 

"Look I get you lost someone just now, but that is clouding your judgment here. If we split up one of us could die, I'm not putting Avery at risk like that. I'm also not going to waste the supplies I just used on you. We stick together or we end this mission until you are both healed. Your choice." Deacon said defiantly, his face filled with determination. Danse glared at him for a moment before heaving an irritated sigh. 

"Fine. We go together." He said causing Deacon to smile as he opened the door for the Paladin. 

"That wasn't so hard now was it Danse?" I looked at Deacon surprised, I had to admit that was the first time he had said Danse's name before. Usually, he was just called the tin can paladin. I prayed to god that they would start getting along, it would save me a lot of trouble.


	24. Night in the great green jewel of  the Commonwealth

Deacon   
We got those fat man shells for the brotherhood and I know when I get back to HQ Dez is going to kill me. Avery is finishing up with Paladin Danse who is calling in the troops to secure the area. I pretend I'm not eavesdropping but I wouldn't be good at what I do if I didn't. 

"I need to make a trip to Diamond city. Will you be joining me?" She questions him softly and he seems to be struggling to say no to her. Poor guy, I know the feeling.

"I....Of course... I am your mentor, I will meet you there once this is handled. I recommend going to talk to Elder Maxon before you depart. I hear he has a gift for you." He smiles down at her, he uses one of his hands to pat her head like a child.

"I will see you soon paladin." She murmurs as he drops his hand down, she starts walking towards me and stops. I see the look on her face, it was the same one I saw when she thought Danse had almost died. She turned back to him and ran forward wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. He stared down at her with wide eyes as he hesitantly patted her back. 

"I'm really happy you are alright." Her voice sounds strained with unshed tears. When she pulls away she smiles one last time before walking to my side and allowing me to escort her from fort strong. When we get outside there are Vertibirds and brotherhood of steel members everywhere.

"Excuse me! Knight Avery!" We both turn to see Haylen waving us over to her vertibird. "I'm here to take you to Elder Maxon." She says with a smile. She turns to me and I stare at her curiously as bites her lip before speaking. 

"I should go myself, why don't you get a start on heading out to Diamond city and seeing if Nick will meet with me." She wants to part ways? I find myself nodding even though I think this is a horrible idea. She smiles the way she always does and I watch her get onto the vertibird.

Something inside me is screaming follow her chase her down, but Avery isn't just anyone. She would know instantly if I was tailing her, I don't want to break her trust. I suck in a deep breath as she flies away, I find it difficult to move from that spot for what feels like hours. I feel a hand on my shoulder, I turn to see Avery's paladin standing behind me.

"Where is knight Avery?" He questions looking around us. 

"She left with Haylen, told me to meet her in Diamond City." Danse frowned at that, I saw him reach for a radio on his belt. 

"Come in Knight Haylen? Knight Haylen do you read me?" He spoke but all we heard was static. 

"Maybe it's out of range?" I mutter frowning at the device. He shook his head returning it to its place.

"No, the radio is turned off. Whatever Avery is doing she doesn't want us to follow her." Danse says it with a sigh, I can't help but feel frustrated by the lack of communication from my partner.

"Well since you are done how bout you get one of those vertibirds to drop us off in Diamond City to wait for her." I say it half jokingly but Danse doesn't waste any time in flagging down one of the machines and ushering me forward to board with him. I shrugged sitting down next to him on the aircraft as it flew into the sky heading for the great green jewel of the commonwealth.

"Tell me something?" Danse says softly causing me to raise an eyebrow at him. 

"What would you like to know?" He seemed nervous for a moment before losing his inhibitions. 

"She made friends with that ghoul as well as a synth from Diamond city, I want to know why?" I pulled a cigarette out of my jacket and lit it up taking a deep drag.

"Because she isn't a bigot." He rolled his eyes in frustration not being able to understand.

"Let me put it to you this way paladin. Avery is new to this world of ours and so far the ones that have reached out and lent her a hand weren't human. Those who were human have tried more than once to kill her, humans stole her son. Now tell me who do you think she's willing to trust more than a human? Perhaps a ghoul and old synth detective willing to help her find her son." Danse stared in surprise for a moment.

"Then why join the brotherhood?" I laughed at that.

"When you figure it out, you let me know." He stayed quiet the rest of the trip until they dropped us just outside of the gate. He waved goodbye to his people and I got ready to head inside, only to see Piper Wright standing outside screaming into the intercom.

"What do you mean you can't let me in? I'm standing out in the open for crying out loud!" Danse turned to me a questioning glance on his face, I just shrugged. 

"My orders are not to let you in Ms.Piper, Im sorry I'm just doing my job.." She shook her head in frustration not even realizing I was behind her. 

"Oh just doing your job protecting Diamond City means keeping me out? Is that it? Oooh, look it's the scary reporter boo!" She growled into the intercom. 

"I'm sorry Mayor McDonoughs really steamed about that article saying its all lies, the whole city is in a tizzy." She was getting more and more frustrated by the second I almost felt sorry for that boy because when she got her hands on him, he's going to pay.

"Augh! You can't just lock me out Danny Sullivan! I live here!" She finally turned her eyes widening as they landed on me, I gave her a small wave.

"Deac..." She murmured softly a smirk coming to her lips. I returned it knowing full well we were about to get thrown into one of her lies just to get inside. 

"Whats that, you guys are traders... up from Quincy? You have enough supplies to keep the general store stocked for a month?" I rolled my eyes and walked up next to her replying so the boy on the other side of the intercom could hear me. 

"That's what I said you going to let us in?" I called into the intercom while Danse stared at us like we were crazy.

"You hear that Danny? You going to open up or are you going to be responsible for telling crazy Myrna on all the stock she missed out on." The intercom was quiet for a moment before an aggravated sigh could be heard. 

"Geez, alright. No need to make it personal, Piper. Give me a minute." She smiled at me as the door began opening. 

"Let's go, Paladin," I call over to my companion who is frowning at us. 

"Paladin?" Piper clarifies her eyes scanning over Danse who seems very uncomfortable.

"Since when do you hang out with brotherhood of steel?" I shrug waiting for Danse to walk up beside me. 

"Since the new flame seems to have a thing for guys in power armor. I was thinking of getting myself a set actually what do you think?" I explained and she rolled her eyes assuming its a lie. 

"I think you'd look great maybe in a dark blue like those old Vault suits?" I smile at that, she's the only one who can play this game remotely at my level. When I finally looked at Danse again his tanned face was a rosy pink. 

"Speaking of Vault suits, I hear you found yourself a prewar relic? A girl named Avery? I had to pry the information out of Nicky who was very reluctant to mention anything more than her name." I nodded pulling Danse by the arm as we all headed up the stairs.

"Now, who taught you manners. Take me out to dinner first before you start asking about my personal life." I joked as we made it to the dugout inn.

"Look, When you get the chance turn her loose my way, I'd really like an interview." I nodded waving her off as we headed inside the hotel. I got us a room and decided I needed a well-deserved nap after today.

"So do we just sit here until she comes back?" Danse questioned looking around the room curiously. 

"That was the plan," I responded laying myself on the couch. 

"This is my first time in Diamond city." I sighed, I already could feel that this was going to be a long night. 

"Why don't you get yourself washed up so I can rewrap your wound?" I question making him glare at me.

"I'm not a child Deacon." I shrugged pulling a bottle of whiskey from my pack. "I'm not saying you are, but from the looks of it, Avery wants to keep you around. If I let you die she's probably not going to be too happy with me." Danse's face became serious at that. 

"She means a lot to you... Doesn't she?" He said making me stare at him as best I could from the couch. 

"Shes the only person who's made me feel anything in a long time. I'd do anything that girl asks in a heart beat without so much as asking why." I took a big gulp of my drink only to realize what I had just said to one of my possible enemies. I coughed on it causing it to burn my entire throat. 

"Are you alright?" Danse questioned his eyes filling with surprise. I only nod wiping my mouth off, I want to leave and get away from here. 

"Just peachy." I muttered watching as he made a strange face before heading to the bathroom.


	25. Long road ahead

Avery  
"Hello." I murmured softly staring at his back. He was still using my home as his own while I was gone, I felt a strange nostalgia seeing him staring out the window with his back to me. Sometimes when I looked at him all I would see was Nate, other times I would see him for who he truly was.... 

"Hey, doll..... What brings you here? Without Deacon?" I take a deep breath sitting on my bed as he leans against the wall. 

"I made you a promise to help you, its time to hit the road." He clenched his fist tightly. 

"I almost thought you forgot about me." I shake my head biting my lip as I looked up at him. 

"I could never forget about you." I look at him surprised as he drops to his knees and wraps his arms around my waist. I squeeze my eyes shut as I put his cap aside and run my fingers through his shaggy light brown hair. 

"I'm sorry." The words were uttered into my stomach and they made my heart clench painfully. I patted his head gently before he sat up, His eyes were the color of a storm, dark and murky, filled with unshed tears. I wanted to hug him and I sure as hell couldn't deny that I missed him. My lover.... my best friend.... he was different from the others. While I felt lust for them, MacCready is the only one that pushed me further than just a carnal attraction. He's the one that bewitched me causing me to fall for him before I even realized it was happening. 

Those thoughts alone are dangerous and I know I have to pull away before I fall too deep once again. I don't want to, I have Deacon waiting on me. I couldn't betray his trust because he wouldn't do that to me.

"We have work to do, come with me to Mass Pike Interchange." I stood closing myself off once more before offering him my hand, he took it allowing me to lift him to his feet. 

"Thank you, for coming back." He whispered softly and I only nodded my head. Together we walked outside to where Haylen was waiting for us by the Vertibird with a worried face. 

"Paladin Danse called in multiple times since we left, he is not going to be happy with us." She mutters making MacCready look over me with an incredulous expression.

"It'll be alright Haylen. I can handle Danse." She nodded getting back to pilot the vertibird. 

 

"You plan to stay with them?" He uttered softly, I simply shrugged my shoulders getting onto our ride. 

"Avery please reconsider this." He whispered lowly so only I could hear him, he sat beside me his dark blue eyes begging.

"I can't, it's too late," I stated calmly as we ascended into the air, our destination was mass Pike interchange. He sighed laying his head against the seat, this ride wouldn't be a long one, But that didn't mean that the discomfort wouldn't make it seem longer. I felt a hand over mine, I looked up at him as he looked up away from me. I just laid my head on his shoulder and shut my eyes, I could feel my whole body aching all over again.

***  
MacCready  
Before I knew it Avery was sleeping on my arm, her breaths shallow almost like when she lost her voice. I felt awful for doing what I did, part of me wonders if she realized what her drinking did to me. The way she drowned herself in it so completely. All it reminded me of was the time after Lucy's death, how I hurt Duncan with how stupid I acted. He still saw me as his father, I tried to raise him as best I could. I promised him I would be a better person, though I continued lying to him about who I was and what I did. 

He believed dear old dad was a soldier, he would be so disappointed to find out his father was a worthless mercenary. So, I got out of there as fast as I could, I left him with his grandmother Anna. I ended up here only to see Avery following through in the same mistakes I had made. I didn't want her to have to answer for the things she had done in her drunken state when she did find her son. I looked down at her and I felt my heart skip a beat. Alabaster skin so smooth, her long raven eyelashes casting shadows against her rosy cheeks as the sun begins to go down over the horizon. I feel my hand twitch as I fight the urge to move her bangs from her face. In the end, I lost the fight, I pushed her maroon locks from her face tucking them gently behind her ear as I allowed myself to run my knuckles down her soft skin.

Her steel eyes flutter open only slightly as she looks up at me still hazy from her sleep."Good morning sleepy head." I murmur only to see her beautiful eyes narrowed slightly. 

"Mac, Stop m' sleepy." I couldn't help but chuckle as that as I cupped her cheek placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She lets a sound that is a mix of a complaint and a whine, I only smile down at her as she closes her eyes again. That's when I notice it, the leather jacket she's wearing slips from her shoulder and I see bruises covering her entire shoulder. I pull the jacket to the side making her eyes snap open as she catches my hand in hers stopping me from looking at the marks. 

"Doll What happened?" Her hand loosens around mine as she allows me to push the jacket from her shoulders. Her whole body is covered in black and dark purple marks, scabs and wounds covering her shoulders and chest. I also finally notice her bandaged hands and my jaw drops, I have no idea what to ask or what to say.

"I fell from a vertibird on my last mission, But Deacon.... he got the worst of it. He made sure he landed under me." Her voice was somewhat angry about the whole ordeal.

"I'd hug you but i feel like that would only make you ache more than you already are." She nodded looking a lot more awake than before.

"Haylen? How far out are we?" She says as she stands to peek her head into the room in front of us. 

"Yes Miss Avery, we have reached our destination. How should we go about this?" I stood looking at the two women.

"I'm not usually one to do this sort of thing but why don't we just blow up the whole waystation." She questioned looking at me for approval. 

"How would we set any sort of charges without being caught?" She pulls her backpack from her shoulder and rifles through it handing me a bag of caps. 

"Youll let them bring you in. I will have Haylen drop me at the top of the bridge from there i will make my way setting the charges around the waystation." It sounded like a full proof plan except she hadn't mentioned any exits. 

"how do we make it away from the explosions?" Her eyes stray to the bridge ahead of us and just by the look in her eyes i can tell what she's thinking.

"We jump into the river?" Her bright gray eyes meet mine and she nods. This sounds crazy but I'm on board if it will get me the hell away from Barnes and Winlock, I will do it. After that, I can focus on Duncan and find his cure. 

"Let's do it, Here these should help you fit in. They are from my days in the gunners." I pull my old uniform from my pack followed by a hat, a pair of shades and a bandana. 

"This should hopefully make things easier on us." She strips herself of her clothes not even caring that I'm watching. I swallow hard seeing her perfect body in nothing but her underwear, I don't even hide the fact that I'm watching. She stands before me in all her alabaster glory, tying her dyed maroon hair in a bun. I lick my lips my mouth suddenly feeling dry as I stared her eyes met mine and she rolled her eyes. 

I shook away all my thoughts and handed her camo pants that she easily slipped into. I grabbed a belt sliding it around her waist as she pulled a white tank top over her head before slipping her arms into my shirt. I quickly buttoned her shirt before finishing up her belt. I tucked her pants into her boots and finally stood admiring our work. She hid her long beautiful hair under a gunners cap before tying the bandana so it covered her face, even with only her steel eyes showing she looked gorgeous. 

I hated myself for losing her, for allowing her to slip from my grip. I wanted to kiss those sinful lips of hers, to love her in a way she would realize only I could. She grabbed the shades from my hands placing them on her face and I had to admit she was unrecognizable.

"This just might work." I grinned, she laughed behind her disguise, before waving me out of the vertibird.

"Let's do this." She nodded as I jumped down from the vertibird, I look back at her for a moment. 

"If something goes wrong.... I think you should know, I've been falling hard for you. Though there're reasons why I can't be in love with you that doesn't mean I wasn't starting to feel it for you. You are everything that is right with my life... Without you... I'll go back to being the miserable as- jerk I was before I met you." I regret the fact that I covered her face. I couldn't see what emotions were playing in her eyes, but maybe it was better that way. 

 

I had just put all my feelings on the table and it was her turn to decide what she wished to do. I turned without another word and walked towards the bridge with nothing but my sniper and the bag of caps in my hands. When I was finally in range of them I tied the bag to my belt and raised my hands up high so the other gunners could see. 

"HEY! IM HERE TO SEE YOUR BOSSES!" I called out and immediately all guns were aimed at me. I bit my lip hard as a familiar face came up to me and grabbed me by the arm. While a few others came and patted me down assuring I had no weapons other than the one over my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and waited once they were done. Leon my old bunk mate grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me towards an elevator. 

"What the hell are you doing back here?" He questioned looking at me like I was crazy. 

"Paying my dues." I muttered seeing the vertibird fly overhead but no one seemed to pay it any mind they were more worried about what an ex-gunner was doing back on their turf. 

"So MacCready, you've returned to us." Barnes said all ready to meet me. 

"You finally ready to give yourself up and join us again?" I scoffed crossing my arms over my chest.

"Take me to Winlock, I'm here to talk to both of you." He aimed his pistol under my throat. 

"Give me another order kid and I will splatter your brains all over this waystation." I narrowed my eyes at him as he grabbed me by my sleeve and pulled me towards where Winlock was. I scanned the area, but I couldn't see Avery anywhere. My hands began to tremble as I was brought further into the compound. Their men were everywhere, I had no idea how she was planning to go about this.

"What the hell is this brat doing here?" Winlock glared at me, I smirked and put on the best damn performance of my life. 

"I'm here to make a deal with you two, what will it take for you to stop hounding me as well as leaving my clients alone." The both turned to each other and outright laughed, I had to restrain myself from reaching for the gun on my shoulder. 

"That's never going to happen, did you honestly believe you could leave the gunners?" I bit my tongue as another gun was aimed at my head. 

"Well isn't this just rude!" Avery's voice rung through the waystation loudly as she stood on top of a car gathering everyone's attention. She had pulled off her bandana, glasses and pulled her hair from its bun.

"You..." The words left Winlock's mouth as he stared at Avery confused. 

"Did you really think you could run from me MacCready? After leaving me to die in Concord?!" I blink confused by her behavior when I finally notice a small button in her hand, she successfully set the charges.

"How the hell did you get up here?!" Barnes growled at her as she hopped off the car making her way towards us. 

"That isn't what matters, what does matter is the fact that this little rat scurried here for protection from me." She hisses looking as pissed off as I had ever seen her. 

"Look, Barnes, it's the pretty little vault girl who almost broke your finger. But don't worry beautiful, once we kill MacCready you and all of us can have lots of fun together." They grin at each other while she looks at them in disgust. Until she raises the hand with the small button, they stare in confusion trying to figure out what it is.

"Sorry but I'm only here for MacCready, if you try to stop me, I will blow this waystation to hell." She says beckoning me to her with her other hand. 

"You're bluffing!" Winlock growls placing a hand on my shoulder to keep me in place. She only smirked at him.

"I was hoping you would say that." She pulls a different button from her coat pressing the button. As soon as she did the car she had been standing on exploded behind her. Finally, they looked terrified of her, this time, she reached out her hand and I shrugged out of Winlock's grip to go to her only to be pulled back a gun pointed at my head. I cursed in my head as Avery glared at him.

"Obviously, you want MacCready. If you press that button he will have his head blown off." I see her swallow hard as she glares at him.

"You underestimate my feelings toward that worthless merc. I want him dead maybe more so than you. But I will be the one to kill him so if you don't let me. You'll have to die with him." Winlock was weighing his options as he stared at her.

"PRESS THE GODDAMN BUTTON!" I screamed at her as I stamped down on Winlock's foot before elbowing him in the stomach. I took off running as fast as I could towards Avery. She hesitated for only a moment before her thumb pressed the button. I made it to her just as everything started to explode causing everything to become chaos. She opens her arms to me as I tackle her throwing both of us off of the bridge into the water below. While was falling she looses her hat all of her hair is whipping wildly around us. We stare into each other's eyes as we fall, her hand gently runs down my cheek right before we crash into the frigid water below us. 

I blink my eyes open as I look around the murky water for a moment looking for which way will get me to the surface, after a moment I break through it watching as the waystation continues to explode. Flames running through it like a river drowning all the people on it. Some who are covered in flames already choose to jump too but not in the right direction, they meet their deaths by hitting the grassy ground below.

"Holy sh--Crap! We did it! We did it!" I look around to see Avery hasn't surfaced yet.

"Shit! AVERY! AVERY!" I cupped my hands over my mouth screaming at the top of my lungs. When I don't hear or see anything I dive back into the water looking around until I see Avery sinking to the bottom. I swim as fast as I can to her wrapping my arms around her, pulling her up to the surface. She doesn't react when she gets pulled out and I swear to god, I feel panic rising in my chest. I pull her to the grass and lay her down wiping her soaked, matted hair way from her face. I gently patted her cheek to try and get her to wake up only to receive no response.

"No, no, no, no!" I screamed leaning down so my ear was right next to her lips. I couldn't hear any breath whatsoever.

 

"God please! please don't take her from me!" I cried as I felt her neck for a pulse only to feel a weak thrumming against my fingertips. I pulled the shirt I gave her apart causing the buttons to pop in every direction as I began doing chest compressions over her heart. It still wasn't working, I was losing her. I was going to loose Avery, I ignored the tears in my eyes and plugged her nose, opened her mouth and breathed into it. 

After I did that i went back to the chest compressions a few more times before breathing air into her mouth once more. After a few moments, I pulled away feeling my tears running down my face as she didn't react. She was going to die and it was all my fault. 

"Avery, doll Please. Please wake up!" I cried as I leaned my forehead against hers cradling her head as gently as I could. Then just as i was about to give up hope she turned her face to the side coughing up water, i swear my heart almost couldn't take it. 

 

"Thank you god!" I murmur allowing my feelings to get the best of me. I place kisses all over her face as she lays back looking at me with an irritated expression.

"I'm sorry doll but you really scared me back there." I picked her up sliding my arms under her thighs and her back. I lifted her against me, her arms wrapping themselves around my neck. 

"Diamond City" Were her only words as i walked us to where Haylen had been waiting for us. As soon as she caught sight of Avery she almost freaked out. 

"Is she alright?" I nod carrying her into the vertibird. 

"She wants to go to Diamond City, can you drop us there." She nods giving one last worried glance at Avery. I held her tight pulling her leather jacket over her. 

"I hate getting wet." I muttered as i placed a hand in her hair. I almost fell asleep by the time we made it to Diamond City, I thanked Averys friend as she flew away. I carried Avery towards the dugout inn, thankfully not all security guards are as--jerks, as soon as they saw me with Avery they opened the door for me. I nodded to them gratefully as Vadim caught sight of me. 

"MacCready! Are you alright?!" Vadim said as he walked over to me. 

"I need a room please." I begged my old friend. 

"What the fuck!" I froze at the sound of Deacons voice across the room. Before i knew it Avery was being snatched from my arms, i followed behind him as he carried her to his room. He laid her on the bed, her eyes fluttered open a small smile gracing her lips as she laid eyes on him. 

"Hey sweetheart, How you feeling?" He whispered as she blinked up at him sleepily. "Tired, can I sleep?" She questioned him, he shook his head. 

"Not yet love, let me get you into some new clothes." She only nodded as he ran to his own pack pulling out some clothes for her. They were her night clothes from back when we helped her brotherhood idiots. Deacon efficiently stripped her of my clothes and helped her into her night clothes. He grabbed a towel and dried as much of her hair as she would allow before pulling her blanket over her neck. 

She reached her hand out her hand for Deacon like a child reaching for a parent. He laughed softly before placing a kiss on her lips, after he kissed her she passed right out. 

"You hurry up and change before you get sick." He growled at me as a sleepy Danse rubbed his eyes walking into the room. 

"Avery has returned?" Deacon nodded, Danse walked over to the bed and slid in beside Avery wrapping an arm around her before falling fast asleep next to her. My jaw dropped as Deacon didn't even bat an eye.

Deacon sighed as he pointed towards the shower. I shut my mouth and grabbed some new clothes heading for the bathroom.


	26. Reunions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, who has reviewed so far for taking the time to let me know how I am doing it's really appreciated :D I hope you all enjoy.

Avery  
Warmth, it was a pleasant change from being so cold after everything. That being said it felt like I was sleeping next to a damn furnace. When I opened my eyes I saw Deacon sleeping right in front of me, his arms were part of the partial warmth. Behind me, i noticed Danse with his arm also around my waist and speaking of waist MacCready was laying over my legs sleeping comfortably on my stomach.... What the actual fuck happened yesterday? I tried to move only to hear a groan from my legs.

"Stay still doll, it's way too early." MacCready murmured. 

"You are the one on my legs, shouldn't I be the one complaining?" I whined, hearing a chuckle from him followed by another groan of annoyance.

"Shut up! I knew I should have left you sleeping on the floor." Deacon snapped at him before pulling a pillow from behind us and hitting MacCready over the head with it.

"What the hell!?" MacCready growled looking up at Deacon who only snickered in response. 

"Both of you stop it or I will feed you both to a death claw." They both shut up at the sound of Danse's husky sleep filled voice. 

"Good now go back to sleep!" He muttered his arms tightening around my waist causing me to sigh.

"Oh no, you don't, I am not your personal pillow." I objected as they laughed at me. 

"You didn't seem too bothered last night when we all piled into the bed, you actually welcomed it." MacCready said with a smile before laying back on top of me. I rolled my eyes before sharing a look with Deacon who grinned once he figured out what was about to happen. I extended my hand to Deacon who placed a pillow in my hand while sliding out of the bed. 

"You both have three seconds to get up, or I will make you." Danse and MacCready remained immovable, I looked Deacon as he bit his lip to keep from laughing. 

"One." Nothing, not a word from either Danse or MacCready. 

"Two." I huffed and still nothing, fine they asked for it.

"Three." I smacked MacCready with the pillow causing him to let out a shout of surprise that woke Danse, who managed to catch my wrist before I hit him as well.

"Seriously?! Why do only I get hit?" MacCready groaned as he rubbed his forehead sliding off of me. 

"It is not my fault your reflexes are so slow." Danse called back to him as he looked away for just a moment. I used this distraction to grab another pillow and hit him on the right side of his face. He turned to look at me, his eyes were more amused than anything.

"Knight, Was that really necessary?" He questioned as the corners of his lips turned up in a small smile. 

"Yes sir it was, you wouldn't get off of me so I felt like it would be a pleasing way to be awoken." Danse raised an eyebrow at my wording. 

"Do I look like a masochist to you knight Avery?" I couldn't fight the smile that appeared on my face. "You certainly do." He dropped my hand, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. From behind us Deacon and MacCready started laughing while they gathered their things. 

"Come on doll, it's shower time." Deacon said offering me his hand, I took it sliding off the bed and standing to follow him into the bathroom.

"Hey, thats not fair! Why don't we all go shower? What do you think Danse?" If it were possible for his face to become anymore red I'm sure it would have, he stared between all of us like a fish out of water, his eyes wide and mouth agape.

"What you don't want to join in on the fun? Suit yourself paladin." Deacon joked as Danse looked anywhere but at us. I rolled my eyes at all of them, they finally found a way to make Danse uncomfortable and I didn't think they would let up anytime soon.

"Guys stop messing around with him." I murmured as I was about to continue on my way to the bathroom only to be stopped by MacCready pressing himself against my back and Deacon pressing himself against my chest. I stared at Deacon confused for a moment until I felt MacCreadys lips at my ear. 

"Who was messing around, we were serious doll." Deacon was already hidden behind his shades so I wouldn't be able to see his eyes but he was clearly a part of this.

 

"Unless you actually intend to do something don't toy with me." I murmured as I turned to look at MacCready before biting his lip hard. He pulled away in surprise hand going to cup his mouth. His eyes seemed to darken as he pulled his hand away to see a few drops of blood on them. 

"Shouldn't rile up a girl with the temper of a death claw." Danse said laughing from his spot on the bed.

"Oh trust me that is exactly what I want to do." MacCready said with a grin his big blue eyes filling with lust. 

"Sorry boys that group shower offer expired we got things to do." Deacon said ushering me forward. We went together into the bathroom, thankfully Diamond city was one of the places that still had running water. Deacon turned on the water while I stripped out of my clothes. Deacon placed his shades on the sink before slipping out of his white shirt. I watched the muscles of his back rippled as he lifted the shirt over his head, I shivered as he reached for his pants. Just as he was about to slide them off, his forest eyes caught mine and I swear he smirked. He stopped his movements for a moment his dark eyes trailing up my body, I didn't feel self-conscious, though. 

He looked at me with the eyes of a predator stalking his prey, I stood my ground as he walked over to me. I wanted more than anything to be devoured by him.

"Why don't you help me?" His voice was soft and smooth like silk and at this moment he could convince me to do anything he wants. I felt myself shiver as he placed his warm hands on my naked hips. With trembling hands, I reached for his unbuttoned jeans and pushed them down his hips pulling me against him so his warm skin was pressed against mine. I bit my lip as desire coursed through my veins seeing Deacon like this made me needy. I want him right now and I think he realizes it. He leans closer his lips skimming over my jaw before they hover right over my own. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer as I kiss his lips pressing them harder against mine. 

Our mouths mold together perfectly, he feels like the puzzle piece that fits perfectly against me. Before I know it he's lifting me up easily, I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to the shower. I gasp as the cold water hits my skin, only to have Deacon slide his tongue in my mouth distracting me from the cool water. 

I bit his tongue playfully as he pushed me up against the wall caging me there. I heard his moan as his hand slid from my hip to run up my stomach to my chest. I pulled away from his lips gasping as I feel his teeth sinking into my shoulder. 

"So fucking beautiful, absolutely perfect." He whispered in my ear as his tongue ran up the column of my neck. 

"Deacon." His name left my lips in a whisper like a prayer as I clawed down his strong back. 

"Mmmm, I love it when you say my name." He whispers against my lips. My heart was racing so fast in my chest, my body is trembling as his hand runs up to my chest squeezing my breasts. I pant against his shoulder as he continues running my hands over my heated skin. I moan as his fingertips graze my core, I hear him snicker softly. 

"Did I find a sensitive spot?" He questioned as his fingertips continued feathering against me until I'm whimpering in his arms.

"Please, Deac, Please!" I begged trying my hardest to make him press his hand harder against me.

"Guys! any day now!" MacCreadys voice echoed loudly into the bathroom. Deacon grinned looking up at me he pulled his hands away from me setting me on the floor. 

"What the hell are you doing?" He laughed softly his mouth pressing against mine one more time before he decided to actually shower. My jaw dropped, he was planning to just leave me needy like this. 

"Deacon, you cant be serious." He bit his lip shrugging an amused smile plastered on his lips. 

"You heard MacCready, we cant spend all day in here." I glared at him as he leaned down his arms wrapping around me tightly.

"I promise after we finish what we have planned for today, ill do anything you want me to do to you." He whispers in my ear before biting down on my neck then just like that he slips out of the shower going to grab a shower to dry himself off.

"Enjoy your shower." He says tying the towel around his waist and grabbing his shades leaving me alone in the bathroom. I sigh in frustration as I finish washing my hair and heated body praying it'll calm me down. When I feel my body calm down I leave the shower heading outside in only my towel like Deacon had. When I step out Danse is the only one still in the room. 

"Where are Deacon and MacCready?" I question as Danse swallows hard and looks away towards the door.

"They said they were going to get dinner and gather more supplies. I also wanted to apologize for last night." I look over at him confused as I walk to my pack to grab my clothes. 

"What happened last night?" I said picking up Kellogs old outfit and slipping it on. "About just climbing into your bed, I wasn't thinking clearly and I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable." I raise an eyebrow.

"Why would I feel uncomfortable? I don't mind sleeping next to you Danse you are welcome in my bed anytime." The words came out of my mouth before I even processed what I said. When I did I felt my face go up in flames, I looked up at him in pure embarrassment. He looked at me the way Deacon had not too long ago, he was a predator and I was going to be his prey if I wasn't careful. I could hear his teeth clench from where I was standing, he came closer until he was standing right in front of me.

I trembled as his large hand went to my cheek cupping so he could get a closer look at me. His chocolate eyes seemed to darken as he looked me up and down. I held my breath as he leaned in closer, his lips so close yet so far away.

"You are so beautiful." He murmured as he looked at me with heavy lidded eyes. I trembled in his arms as we stared into each other's eyes, my lips parted as I thought of something to say, anything to get myself out of this situation. 

 

Paladin Danse  
"Danse." The way she said my name excited me, it made my body fill with warmth. I wanted to claim her lips but if I did this would become real. I'm her commanding officer, I can't do this to her, relationships between commanding officers and their subordinates are very frowned upon. That is the only reason I pulled myself away from her. I stepped away and finally I was able to breathe again. I watched as her chest heaved from holding her breath, she stared at me with shocked eyes before regaining her senses and running to get dressed. 

I only smirked as I continued readying my supplies, I looked up and Deacon and MacCready came back. "Alright Deacon I guess its your turn, this is where I say goodbye. Stay safe, keep her safe." Deacon nodded as MacCready raised a hand to wave goodbye to me before heading out. 

"What was that about I expected him to stay longer?" I questioned as Deacon sprawled out on the bed. He yawns before looking over at me. 

"Said he's headed out to a place called Medtech, a hospital? He didn't give me too many details but that's what I know of." He muttered.

"Medtech? ." Her voice echoed through the room in a solemn tone.

"Hey, sweetheart... you all ready to go see Nick? MacCready and I stopped by there he's all ready to meet us." She sucks in a deep breath as Deacon sits up.

"Let's head out and pray he has a plan." I offer Deacon my hand, he takes my hand using it to slide off the bed to stand. We walked together through the back alleys of Diamond City until we reached Neon lights reading Valentine's Detective agency. We both entered behind Avery, we all stayed quiet noticing Nick already had a visitor.

"Come on Nicky, I'm just asking your opinion it'd make for a greater quote." She says and I remember her, she's the crazy woman from when we got here. 

"Shes my client Piper why don't you learn not to snoop on a woman's private affairs." Nick says and I try not to sigh, he and I never got along since we met.

"Well Well speak of the devil." I looked over to Avery who looked outright uncomfortable.

"Your back, and... not with your son. What happened?" Avery looks away as the tears appear in her eyes. 

"We need help, Piper, Nick. A man named Kellogg kidnapped Averys son but that wasn't all. He was working with the institute, He gave them Shaun." Avery turned to Deacon in shock taking a step back away from his grip as he tried to get close to her. 

"The institute hoo boy. I've been investigating these creeps for over a year now, The commonwealth's Boogey man, feared and hated by everyone. Sometimes they snatch people in the middle of the night. and sometimes they leave old synths behind to remind us they are out there and to this day there's one thing that nobody knows...." I feel Avery's back brush up against arm, I wrap my arm around her trapping her so she doesn't run away like she looks like she's planning. 

"Where the institute is, or how to get in." Nick says turning to look at us as I see Deacons frown.

"Exactly, but there is one person who must know, right? The guy who just handed them, Shaun." Piper says a bit excited as Avery fidgets in my arms. 

"Kellogg." Nick repeats almost as if surprised that he missed something.

"Whatever you're thinking, it doesn't matter. He's dead." Avery says finally stepping into the conversation. 

"Yeah, I knew he wasn't going to go quietly from the moment I saw him." Nick says sitting back in his chair while Piper turned to Avery. 

"So a murderer and kidnapper got his brain blown out by an avenging parent." She sighs softly. 

"Would be a great ending if we still didn't have the biggest mystery in the commonwealth to solve...." Avery glared fiercely at Piper.

"It doesn't matter what he knew, I'd kill him again if in a heartbeat." She murmurs looking down at her hands almost cringing when she sees them. I move my hand from around her waist and offer her my hand. She looks up at me gratefully, a trembling hand reaches for mine as she laces her fingers through mine. 

"Gets his brains blown out.... huh... his brains. We may not need the man at all." Deacon muttered as he turned to Nick, who had a look of utter realization on his face.

"You're talking crazy here Deac, got a fault in the ole' subroutines?" She asked as I try my best to give Avery what support I can.

"Ha, ha Piper. Hear me out. There's this place in Good neighbor called the Memory den, Relive the past moments in your mind as the day they happened. If anyone could get a dead brain to sing, it'll be Doctor Amari, The mind behind the memories." Avery's face paled at the name of this location, she began shaking her head vigorously. 

"There's no way in hell I want to go back there, I've already seen Nate die twice. I don't think I could handle seeing it again." She whispers looking at the floor as she squeezes my hand tightly.

"You want your son back don't you, Shaun. The reason you are doing all of this in the first place." Deacon questioned stepping closer treating her as though she's a wounded animal. His words are soft but the meaning behind them, I can see it hits home. She looks up at Deacon with wide eyes as she nods. 

"Alright, let's see, I guess we 're going to need a piece of Kellogg's brain, enough gray matter to bring to Amari if this is going to work out." Nick adds rubbing his chin in thought.

"Eww Nick, gross seriously?!" Piper chimes in uncomfortably.

"I know its grisly, but what choice do we have? We got no leads. Nothing, that old mercs brain just might have all the secrets we need to know." Piper sighs again.

"Whether we're riding this crazy brain train or not we can't all go running across the commonwealth. So who is going with you?" Avery looks around the room her eyes looking mainly between Deacon and myself. 

"I have to go to the memory den either way if I'm going to introduce you to Amari. But if you want to head there together just say so." She looks around at us like it's the most difficult decision she's ever made.

"Sweetheart, I'd like to join in but I have a mission of my own to go on. So it looks like Danse will be the one riding this out by default."

I look to Deacon who only smiles at her. 

"We need to talk." She murmurs softly in his direction.

"Another time." Her eyes narrow in anger as Deacon just smiles placing a kiss on her lips catching her wrist and sliding past her before she can punch him like she was planning. 

"I'll see you around soon love." He said heading out into the rain from Nicks office.

"That asshole!" She growled her eyes on the door. 

"Knight." That catches her attention and she covers her mouth looking at me almost apologetically.

"Have you decided if we will follow Nick or go alone?" Her shoulders drop dejectedly as she looks toward Nick.

"Let's go, Nick."


	27. Hunter/Hunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are getting closer to the part im excited about ! :D

Avery  
It felt like torture having to go through Nate's death once more, but this time, it was all towards my ultimate goal. We now knew how we were going to get into the institute. His name is Brian Vergil, he got out of there and he is going to be the door for me to get back in. Danse and I were alone right outside of Brians lab. We had taken a trip back to the prydwen just to get me my power armor before heading out. Then met with the children of atom who gave us directions here. 

"Are you sure you are ready for this, knight?" Danse questioned softly as we looked out into the barren irradiated wasteland.

"Yes, he's my ticket in Danse. My only way of getting Shaun back." Danse only nods as we enter together, the place absolutely reeks, I cover my mouth trying not to retch, as we walk through ignoring the traps deliberately placed there. We reach the end of the tunnels only to run into a super mutant wearing a pair of glasses and some clothes. Danse immediately raises his weapon but I stop him looking at the mutant who seems more shocked than us. 

"Hold it! Nice and slow no sudden moves." I blink up in surprise as I make Danse put away his gun.

"I know you are with the institute. So where is Kellogg? Huh! Trying to sneak up on me." Realization hits me hard as I realize this mutant is Brian, the escaped scientist. 

"I'm not stupid I know they sent him after me." His voice sounded like gravel, his eyes were narrowed in pure suspicion. I raised my hands in surrender. 

"Kellogg is dead. I need your help." He stares at me confused. "My help with what? How did you even find me anyways?" I look at Danse who is already itching to murder this man. 

"I'm looking for information on the institute if you don't have any you are of no use to me." I said avoiding his questions. 

"The institute? So they did send you! You are working with Kellogg." I growled at that.

"Your afraid of Kellogg you should be more afraid of me if you don't help me." He stared at me like I was a one headed brahmin. 

"Dead.... He's Dead.... Don't you lie to me!" I felt a headache coming on already.

"Why the denial, is it such a surprise that I killed him." He nodded. 

"Of course, it is! Kellogg was ruthless and there's a reason why the institute used him to do their dirty work for so many years! You, you killed him. So what do you want with me." I rolled my eyes I could have sworn that we already talked about this.

"I want to get into the institute." I said in frustration. 

"Get into the institute, are you crazy! Never mind how nearly impossible that is, even if you were to succeed it almost certainly end in your immediate death. What reason could you possibly have for taking that risk?" I sighed as Danse placed an arm on my shoulder.

 

"They stole my son, I'm going to get him back." I swallowed hard looking away. 

"Oh. oh no, I had no idea. I'm sorry. Yeah, the institute has taken people from the commonwealth in the past and if your son was taken I could understand why you would want to get in. I can help you.... but I'm going to need something in return." 

'Of fucking course.' I muttered quietly.

"What is it you want from me?" I questioned as Danse sighed behind me.

"Before I had to escape, I was working on a serum that can cure the condition I am in. I wasn't able to bring it with me it's still in my lab but if you can get it for me while you are at the institute, I will help you." I nod, to be honest, that sounds fairly easy to achieve. 

"Done." He nodded. 

"let's talk details then, your way in is called the molecular relay. the relay is the only way in and out of the institute. Do you understand that? That means you are going to have to use it. Now have you ever seen an institute courser?" Danse and I both looked at each other both of us shaking our heads.

"A courser, what is it?" I questioned and the mutant only sighed.

"Coursers are another one of the institutes closely guarded secrets, they are synths that are designed for one purpose. They are hunters, operations go wrong, a synth goes missing and they are despatched. They are very good at what they do. You have to kill one and take the chip in his head. Once you do that you can choose any of the major groups in the commonwealth to help you decipher the code." I shrugged this was the first time I had ever heard of such a creature.

"Bring it on, where can we find it?" I was perfectly ready to find and kill this asshole, I'm closer than I've ever been to getting my boy back.

"You can find one by the CIT ruins use the radio on that pip-boy of yours, listen to any place that causes extreme interference. I really do hope you find what you are looking for." He says sympathetically. I look to Danse who nods his head in the direction of the exit. We walk out of there and decide to camp nearby for the night. Danse creates a small tent for us, we have to leave our power armor outside. We're lying on a small mattress together just staring at the ceiling of the tent. 

"you shouldn't worry so much, we will find your son. I promise you, knight." I smile at him before turning back to look at the ceiling. I couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen after all of this after I get my baby back. 

"What happens when this is all over? When we destroy the institute?" I whispered looking back at Danse who turned to face me with a grim expression.

"The brotherhood will leave, We will go to the other places in the wasteland where we are needed." I shivered at his words, he would disappear as well. Who would I loose after getting Shaun? I sat up as the tears flowed down my cheeks, a wave of emotion hitting me like a riptide, I was stuck with no hope of seeing the end of it. All the people I've met and have become friends with, I would have to leave them too. To find a safe place for Shaun to live, so he can be free of this atrocity.

"Knight are you alright?" Danse questioned sitting up next to me laying a gentle hand on my cheek. I feel my heart shattering, as I look back into those familiar eyes. 

"I feel like we're out here on borrowed time, I'm scared ill never see you again, see the others when this is all over." Danse retracted his hand and stared at them on his lap. 

"I won't ever forget you if it does happen." Danse says looking back up at me.

"I couldn't forget you either Paladin." I laugh through my tears watching as he reaches for a bottle of whiskey from his pack. He closes his eyes taking about half the bottle with it when he raises it to his lips. I snatch it from his hands with a small smile, he raises an eyebrow. I love a challenge, I drank the rest of quickly offering it back to Danse who looked proud. 

"Anyone ever tell you, you are the perfect woman?" I laugh softly laying back on the mattress we were sharing.

"I'm far from perfect Danse." I say blinking surprised, he's suddenly leaned over me a curious look in his eyes. I look up at him reaching to run my fingers down the stubble on his cheek, he leaned closer his body finding its way to fit comfortably against mine. His face was inches from mine, this was wrong oh so wrong. But I didn't stop him as he leaned down pressing a gentle kiss on my lips. We stared at each other for a long moment in understanding, we knew this couldn't be but it was nice to know the emotions that were driving us right now were real. He pulled back looking at me as though he was in pain.

"I shouldn't have done that." He murmurs leaning his forehead against mine. 

"I shouldn't do this either." I whispered back making his eyes snap open as I pressed another kiss to his lips.

"Tomorrow we can forget this night ever happened." I say kissing his lips once more, he didn't stop me, his mouth was gentle against mine as we kissed our mouths moving in perfect sync. We pulled away when the need for air became too great. Danse laid his head on my chest holding me tightly, I ran my fingers through his dark brown locks. Together we fell asleep entwined in each other's arms. 

***********

Danse  
When morning came nothing about last night was uttered, a small voice inside me was whispering that even now she didn't look at me the same. But I pushed it away standing by her side as we walk through the Cit ruins. This was a place I could see from the prydwen but never up close, I stared in awe and the new surroundings while Avery listened to her radio for beeping. According to Vergil, it would lead us to a courser, both of us had to cover our ears as her radio started beeping uncontrollably. She turned it off looking at the building in front of us. 

"Greentech genetics?" She whispers reading the name of the sign.

"He's here." I say softly looking at her from the corner of my eyes. Her body was tensed, as she grips her railway rifle tightly in her hands. 

"Let's go get him." I follow behind her into the torn down building. Once we reach the lobby the body of a gunner is thrown over the front desk. Avery and I share a look before scanning the area for more of them. " I tug on her shirt nodding my head in the direction of the stairs. She nods once as I head up once we reach the top of the stairs we hear a voice over the intercom. 

"The courser is on the second floor. Kill on sight, Send reinforcements to the lobby in case there are more!" She took a deep breath as we continue on the walkway we are on. Then that's when we hear it, an explosion to our left. I grab Avery pulling her back towards me. We duck down next to the door of the outer lobby looking in to see the gunners fighting with someone else.

"We have to make use of this." She said gesturing to the distraction around us. She looks back at the gunner that we had found dead and her eyes meet mine once more. I smirk she's an absolute genius, she pulls out her own disguise and begins changing into it while I do the same. After we finish she and I give each other a once over grinning at how convincing we look. 

"Remind me to thank MacCready for this later. " She chuckles before we head out into the lobby we pass a few corpses.

"Where do you two think you are going?" We both freeze at the sound of a woman behind us. 

"To find the courser, I thought that was why we were here?" Avery says spinning to face her. 

"The courser is on the third floor and all the elevators are out, we need to mount an assault and find a way to destroy him along with the building." She says making Avery clench her fist nervously. 

"Let us up there, I guarantee that we can take him down." She looks between us obviously doubting us.

"Fine, take this. If you get to him let us know." She tosses Avery a radio before waving us off muttering 'crazy bastards' under her breath. Avery leads the way and I can tell we are close because gunshots are all that can be heard. She doesn't waver as we finally reach a room where we can see gunners on the floor above us. They have their hands raised in surrender. Next to them was a man with a laser rifle aimed at one of their heads, he shot one of the gunners causing him to fall from the room above down past our room. 

"All he had to do was tell me the password. Now are you going to cooperate?" His voice could be heard from down here, she didn't waste time she sprinted up the stairs with me close behind. Finally, we were face to face with a courser who lowered his weapon to look at us. 

"That disguise won't work with me, I know exactly who you are, Avery Elise Moore." She shuttered at the sound of what I assumed was her full name. 

"How do you know that name?!" She hissed while the courser only smirked at her.

"What has brought you here?" She glared at him her perfect white teeth sinking into her lower lip. 

"You have something I want and you are going to give it to me." His eyebrows raised in interest. 

"What might that be?" He questioned while Avery looked at him annoyed. 

"That courser chip in your brain." He outright laughed at her only succeeding in pissing her off.

"Danse, now." She whispered softly, I nodded at her tackling the synth down. Avery had her rifle aimed right at his brain. 

"You would risk damaging the chip." He growls through clenched teeth as I hold him down. Avery shrugged looking at him as though he was a science experiment.

"I want the chip, but if I have to dismantle you to get it. Don't fret darling that is what I shall do." She says running her fingers down his face.

"You look human enough, it's almost a shame I have to kill you." I don't say a word, I just hold the synth down as he begins to thrash. 

"He has a recall code! It's on the back of his neck!" A female voice caused us to look up, I remember what Brian said about courses being dispatched for escaped synths.

"Shut up, K1-98!" He hissed at the woman who had her hands together almost as if begging us to help her.

"A recall code you say?" Avery says looking down at the synth with a sick smirk. 

"Danse, can you manage to turn him?" I lift my body only slightly maneuvering so he's pinned on the ground face down. Avery goes through her pack finding a scalpel. 

"You don't want to do this!" He screams at us as he tries to move. 

"Shhh, you don't want us to sever anything too important." She says while I look away as she starts cutting into flesh that indeed bleeds. With steady hands, she pulls the flap of skin back until she's staring at the metal of his spinal chord.

"And you are Z2-47? Recall code Sierra 302" The synth beneath me instantly stopped moving, I looked to Avery who was glaring at the synth. 

"What now?" She asked the girl who was still trembling. 

"You should take that courser chip before he wakes up." I continue holding him down as Avery begins cutting the fake flesh from his head and parts it until we see the cybernetics of his brain. Inside we see what looks like a small light bulb, she reaches for it unscrewing it before staring at it curiously. 

"This has to be it Danse." I move her hands making sure to pull out all the chords inside the synths brain to assure it won't be waking up anytime soon. We both look to the girl who helped us, she's trapped in a room looking through a window at us in slight fear. 

"He....He deserved to die. I know you aren't here for me, but I can't get out. Not on my own. I'm going to have to trust you to help me." We both look at each other as Avery nods. 

"I suppose we do owe you, how do we get you out." She questions placing a hand on the window.

"The guard put the password in the toolbox over there under the stairs. Use it to gain access to the terminal and open the door." I really really don't want to let this girl go but she did help us, even though she's a synth I believe she deserves a second chance. I walk over to the stairs rifling through the tool box until I find a small torn up piece of paper. I hand it to Avery who instantly goes to the terminal and signs in managing to unlock the door. We both stand back watching as this synth masquerading as a woman steps out.

"Thank you, I don't know what to say." Avery sighs shaking her head.

"You don't have to say anything, your welcome." We look at the elevator for a moment before looking back to the woman who I can tell Avery is already about to offer our help to.

"My institute designation is K1-98, but I prefer Jenny. So yes if you hadn't already guessed I am a synth. I knew they'd send a courser I just didn't think he'd find me so fast. I think I could have lost him too, but then I was captured by these mercs, and all of this happened. Thanks again for your help, I'm going to look for supplies before heading out. And before you ask, no I don't need any more help. The commonwealth is unforgiving, I need to make it on my own or I'm dead. Maybe we will meet again, under better circumstances. I hope we do."

And with that, she's off, I look at Avery who shrugs it off and heads over to take everything the courser has on him. I wait by the elevator for her and once she's was done she comes into the elevator with me pressing the down button. We sit there staring at each other not saying a word. 

"Have you decided how you are going to have that chip analyzed?" She shrugged not saying a word until we leave green tech genetics behind us.

"There's something I want to do before we get this analyzed. Let's go to Boston Commons and follow the freedom trail."


	28. Following the freedom trail/ Medtech research.

Avery  
Here we were sitting in the middle of Boston commons looking at a painted sign. 

"Follow the freedom trail." I muttered staring at the sign.

 

"I think someone is trying to play a trick on you with this whole railroad thing. It seems like a total joke. I mean what are they trying to say, once you join the railroad you will see the light?" I blink staring at the small lantern painted in front of us.

"Danse, what did you just say?" He looks at me confused for a moment before repeating himself.

"When you join the railroad, you will see the light?" He shrugs not understanding what I'm seeing. 

"There's a church around here, I got married to Nate there. You don't think....That the church is where they are hiding?" Danse looks surprised but it's worth a shot, this has to be it. If it's not I swear I'm going to kill Deacon for this.

"Come, let's go meet this mysterious railroad." We walk in silence towards the church. I can't stop myself from glancing in Danse's direction. He hasn't said anything about the other night, then again neither have I. I feel like I'm being so unfair to everyone because I can't get my feelings sorted, It was so much easier when I only had feelings for one man. 

"Is something wrong knight?" Danse's voice breaks me from my trance making me realize that I had been staring at him too long. 

"Yes, I'm sorry sir." He looked at me with a kind expression before pointing at the church that we were standing in front of. When we got inside, I could hear it again. A familiar snarling but I didn't see any ghouls anywhere. 

"Stay alert, we aren't alone." I whispered to Danse stepped in front of me past the debris into the main part of the church. When I looked inside it was so difficult to not break down and cry as I remembered my wedding day. 

I stayed back for a moment, staring as the room seemed to morph in front of me the wooden pews covered with pale pink covers, the floors filled with white rose petals. At the end of the room was Nate standing there waiting for me. I stepped forward and it was as though I was seeing it all over again and in the blink of an eye, I was falling straight into Danse, who spun around quickly catching me in his arms. 

"Avery!" I could hear the snarls closing in on us. Danse picked me up as I fought to take control of my body that was just too damn worn out. 

"Hands up!" A voice screeched as they killed off the ghouls around us. 

"Please, I won't pull a gun on you let me just tend to my companion." Danse pleaded watching the woman jump from her perch on the second floor. She had white bleached hair and tan skin that seemed just a bit darker than the beige jacket she wore.

"Alright but any funny business and I'll kill you both where you stand." Danse nodded as he readjusted me in his arms to look at me.

"You were bitten." I blink at him confused, there's no way I would have been bitten without feeling it. I look down to see the blood spattered all over my right shoulder. Shit, I was bitten. I looked up to Danse who put a gauze to my throat, before noticing the other one close to it.

"You just seem to love getting hurt here don't you?" I smirk up at him as he stops the bleeding with a stimpack. 

"Its a gift." I sit back up looking at our savior.

"thank you." She nodded once her eyes straying to a door to our left covered in bioluminescent fungi causing it to glow in an unnatural green color. 

"What brings you to this abandoned church?" I laugh as Danse cleanses away the bite I had just attained. 

 

"Please don't insult my intelligence, you are with the railroad." At those words, her gun was aimed at me within a second. 

"I'm not with the institute, I'm looking for your boss." The woman looks between Danse and me before sighing in frustration. 

"Get up, we have to go through the catacombs." I stand with a bit of help from Danse, she aims the gun at us and nods her head towards the door she looked at before. Danse sucked in a deep breath as he leads me through the catacombs, there were strange coffins against every wall. 

When we got to the end she forced us to look away as she entered the passcode. I turned back seeing a wall disappear from its place, I look over at Danse who seems just as shocked. It was all darkness until a set of lights ar switched on, I have to cover my eyes from the blinding light. 

"Stop right there..." A redhaired woman growled, I looked behind me to the other woman now aiming an assault rifle at my head. I looked over at Danse whose fingertips were twitching towards his weapon. I placed a hand over his and shook my head, he bit his tongue opting to lace his fingers through mine.

"You went through a lot of effort to arrange this meeting. But before we go any further, answer my questions. Who the hell are you?" I sighed. 

 

"Why should I tell you anything? Who are you?" She glared at me for a moment. 

"In a world full of suspicion, treachery and hunters. We are the Synths only friends, We are the Railroad. I am Desdemona the leader of the railroad." I felt myself calm down a little bit as they assured me on who they were, just when I'm about to speak and respond to her question a familiar face appears walking in from behind her. 

"Having a party? What gives with my invitation?" My jaw dropped as I stared at the man who left me over two weeks ago in Diamond City.

"Deacon, I need intel. Who is she?" Deacon turned to me with a grin that I couldn't return. 

"Wow... News flash boss, this girl is kinda a big deal out there." I swallow hard staring at him as the betrayal starts setting in. 

"Seems like I've had a stalker..." I utter feeling Danse squeeze my hand tightly. 

"Its nothing like that. The brotherhood let you into their ranks and if that wasn't enough. We owe you a crate full... no a truck load of nuke cola for what you did to Kellogg, he was public enemy number one. Oh and not to mention that Institute courser." I felt sick as he recounted everything I had done to get here to a woman I didn't even know.

"So you are vouching for her?" The redhead questioned looking over at me like I was a damn science project. 

"Yes, trust me. She is someone we want on our side." I felt uncomfortable like I was on fucking display to these people. Deacon... everything that had ever happened between us was a lie... This is all he wanted. He wanted to convince me to join the railroad, that was the only goddamn reason he came after me... stalked me for all this time. I felt my breaths coming more rapidly as I realized lie after lie, in reality, I knew nothing about Deacon at all and everything he told me. It probably wasn't even true... 

 

The way he treated me back when we first met Danse, everything about his wife Barbra, was a lie. There was no way to sugar coat it, I felt completely and utterly used. Danse was what brought me back, he stopped me from having a panic attack in front of everyone. He took a step in front of me shielding me from their eyes for a moment while I composed myself. 

"That changes things, so tell me, stranger. What do you want with us?" I let go of Danse's hand and pulled the courser chip from the pocket of my leather jacket.

"I need the code on this." Everyone looked at it in shock except him. 

"We will have Tom begin decoding it immediately, on one condition, we keep the chip afterward." I toss it to her and she glares at me as she just barely catches it in her hands. 

"Come, we have much to discuss let us go to HQ." Desdemona says as she turns her back, but I can't even seem to move my feet to follow her. 

" We will in a minute, I have to talk to the newbie." Deacon says waving her off to come and stand in front of me. 

"I missed you, sweetheart. Sorry about the reception, but when you tango with the institute you have to be careful of anyone new who gets on the dance floor." He whispered softly strong arms wrapping around me tightly, it almost felt real. 

"It took a great deal of restraint on my part to not open fire on the lot of you." Danse glared at him crossing his arms over his chest. 

"You used me." I murmured the words as angry tears filled my vision.

"What are you talking about?" Deacon questions seeming a bit surprised as he cupped my cheeks forcing me to look at him. 

"From the very beginning, you only showed an interest in me so that I wouldn't stray from the path that would bring me here." He opens his mouth to protest but I can see he is unable to. 

"You know if I had known this is what you were planning I would have let MacCready punch you sooner. He was right about you and me didn't listen." His expression looks sympathetic but I know he's anything but, he wanted to force me into joining the railroad from the fucking beginning.

"Sweetheart, I swear it's not what you are thinking, I care about you." There's that word again, care... but not love never love. All I felt was a vast emptiness where my heart should be, maybe there's something wrong with me. He pulled me close laying his chin on my head. 

"Deacon let me go." My voice sounded hoarse, strained with the pain I was feeling. He refused simply holding me to him tighter and tighter.

"I can't, please don't be angry with me." He murmured and I felt.

"Deacon let her go!" Danse growled pushing Deacon back causing him to stumble back as he stepped in front of me acting as a shield. 

"Of course, you have to play the knight in shining fucking power armor. I saw what happened between you and Avery, are you really anyone to talk down to me? A brotherhood of steel paladin trying to sleep with the woman of another man, what happened to your morals?" Deacon laughed bitterly. Danse paled at that looking away uncomfortably, we hadn't spoken of that night and to have Deacon bring up something so intimate was painful. 

"Now let's be civil about this. The railroad can help you find your son, Avery, with that chip we are closer than ever to taking them down. That's what you wanted from the start, isn't it?" He's right, I simply nod walking past him deeper into the cave where the railroad made their headquarters. 

When we got inside Desdemona was staring at us in sheer curiosity, I walked closer to the strange man she had examining the chip. "Is everything alright stranger? I want to be sure you are willing to cooperate with us." I swallowed my pride. 

"Yes, anything to take down the institute." She nodded looking at Deacon who leaned against the wall next to me. 

"Just so we are all on the same page let me ask you a question, the only question that matters. Would you risk your life for your fellow man even if that man was a synth?" I rolled my eyes at her. 

"I help people on a daily basis, I don't stop to ask them if they are a synth or not." I say hearing Deacon sigh next to me.

"Well said, I have instructed Deacon to tell you what we need to be done. It will take us about a week to decipher this code." I clench my fist but nod anyway, I turn to Deacon who offers me his hand. I take a deep breath before placing my hand in his. 

"And Deacon don't think you are going to get out of that talk, Glory told me what happened in switchboard." Desdemona says softly her eyes narrowing in his direction.

"Well Des, We got work to see you around." He says pulling me with him waving goodbye to her. I let him drag me out of there while Danse follows behind us quietly. We make it back out to the church where the woman from earlier is sitting on the ledge of the second-floor stairs. 

"Heading out already? Deacon?" I look up at her and notice her glaring at our entwined hands. 

"We got a lot of work to do. Glory." He says not even bothering to look at her as he continues towards the door. 

"You should come back soon, I always miss you when you are gone." I stop in my tracks at those words looking back at the woman who only smiled back at me.

"Sweetheart lets go." He said pulling me slightly. I let go of his hand walking past him, I'm frustrated and angry. 

"What is it that you need from me?" I say looking up into the night sky. 

"There's a job up in Lexington to big for me, I want you to join me. It's too big for me by myself, but with you, on my side, i know we can make it. When you're ready you can meet me there.

"I accept his offer because I need space from him. He turned from me and began walking towards Lexington.

"Wait!" He turned towards me. 

"That place you said MacCready went to, which direction is it from here?" He sighs waving me closer, I go to him watching as he takes my wrist and starts messing with my pip-boy. I see him setting a location on it one that is a bit north of here.

"That's where he said he was can't guarantee he's still there but its worth a shot." He says with a shrug, then just before he leaves he places a gentle hand on my cheek pulling me closer pressing a gentle kiss against my forehead. With that he's gone disappearing into the night, I feel his kiss burn against my skin for a while after he left.

***  
MacCready  
It took me a while to gather my supplies and just the trip, in general, took about two weeks. I stood standing outside the not so abandoned Medtech hospital. I held my sniper tightly in my hands as I pushed the hospitals door open with my shoulder. 

I have to admit it looks just like Malden when I went with Nick, though it's no surprise since they are so close together. I walk in the lobby seeing old skeletons scattered around the area. I see these strange statues of a woman covering the walls, I can't deny that it's eerie.

I don't want to be here but I would do anything for Duncan. I walk through the hospital and footsteps echo loudly with every step I took. I tried not to shiver, being alone here wasn't ideal but the only person I was willing to trust with this was out trying to save her own son. I walked towards the elevator pressing on all the buttons only to see the damn thing was powered off. I kept going opting to take the open hallway next to the elevator. 

Inside was a terminal sitting outside this area with a glass window, it looked like some decontamination unit. I got closer trying to pull the terminal up to see if I could unlock the door, no luck it turns out I really do need Jacobs password to lift the lock down. I keep going opening a door with a skeleton leaned over the toilet, seems like a very unfortunate way to be caught when the bombs fell.

I don't find anything so I double back to the containment door seeing a door next to the one I had just stepped through. I lift my rifle taking a few steps inside when the snarling begins. I can't seem to pinpoint where the snarls are coming from until I get knocked off my feet. I fall forward my gun skidding out of my grip, I turn onto my back holding it back by its neck. My fingers are sinking deeper into its rotten putrid skin, I pull a pistol from my belt and aim it at the creature pulling the trigger. 

Its head exploded covering me in disgusting rotted brains and blood. I try not to puke as I push its body aside laying back for a moment staring at the ceiling as my heart back slows back to normal. I stand leaning down to take my sniper that fell when I got jumped. I keep going this time with a laser rifle, towards the staircase in front of me. 

When I get up to the top I see what looks like an office with multiple old broken down terminals. I look up to the second floor to see a single ghoul just standing up there looking at the wall, the radiation really did rot their brains. I decided to use my sniper rifle since it was just him. I raised my sniper looking through the scope making sure I had a clear shot, once I did I took a deep breath.

I exhaled as I pressed on the trigger, the shot that killed him rang through the room loudly causing several other snarls to erupt from the upper floor. Oh sh---crap! I screamed in my own head as I quickly rifled through my pack setting five mines as I backed myself down the stairs. I ran back hiding behind the wall as I heard them fighting with each other to enter the staircase. One stepped onto my mine causing the others to explode with it, I covered my ears to the sound but it didn't help.

My ears were ringing as I placed a hand on the wall to steady myself. I waited a few minutes until the ringing was dulled down before heading back up the stairs ignoring the body parts of the ghouls I had just killed. I walked back inside looking for another staircase that would lead me to the Vice presidents office. I had to hop over a few holes in the ground but I made it to the second floor, I entered the room closest room to me. I carefully walked around the body of the ghoul on the floor.

I picked up a stimpack and some canned food dropping it into my pack as quietly as I could before going over to the ghoul and aiming my laser rifle at his head. When I pulled the trigger it grunted as it died, when I looked up there was another ghoul in the office about to lunge at me. I lifted my gun shooting it five times before it dropped down dead on to the floor. 

"Damn." I muttered as I walked back outside continuing down the main hallway. Into a room with a closed door on the other end. I opened the door causing it to squeak loudly when I caught sight of the Feral ghoul stalker on the other side I shut the door quickly backing up as I raised my weapon. I waited for a moment not hearing a sound, then just as I was going to check again, something banged against the door causing it to open. I ducked down as its body flew past me into the wall, I ran up behind it slamming its head into the wall hard watching as its weakened skull cracked underneath the pressure. 

After that I made it inside to the Vice President's office, I sighed as I ran to his terminal, I used the password I was given by Sinclair to enter the terminal and remove the lockdown. I was so fucking close to getting Duncan's cure. I ran as fast as I could all the way down to the main lobby where the decontamination area was. I blinked looking at the terminal, it had been used and the door was unlocked... there's no way a feral could have done that. I raise my sniper as I hear gunshots passed the door. 

I run to the elevator on the far side of the room that is finally running, I step inside allowing it to take me to the sublevel of MedTech. I ran through the corridors that had scattered bodies of ghouls left and right, I saw the main area completely cleared, I entered the rooms checking them to see if there was anyone but I found nothing. In one of the rooms, there was a walkway to the lower levels. I walk with my sniper raised entering the laboratory and there she is with Danse at her side... her maroon hair is braided down her back. She's dressed in a leather trench coat, she has black torn jeans and a blood red tank top, followed by combat boots. She's holding it in her pale fingertips, Duncan's cure. 

I run to her wrapping her in my arms, oh god we did it, we found his cure. "You found it!" I murmured into her neck as she wrapped her arms around me just as tightly.

"Found what? What is that vial?" I pull back with a kind smile.

"Its cure, for my son's disease, I'll explain everything when we get to GoodNieghbor. You found it, thank you." She stared at the vial for a moment realizing just what this meant. 

"Please hold on to it, we need to get it to Dasiy in Good Neighbor, she can get it to Duncan." I say watching as she places it in her jacket.

"Of course MacCready, anything we can to save your boy." Those words are music to my fucking ears. I look up at Danse who is oddly quiet.

"Thanks, man I really do appreciate this." Danse only smiled.

"Of course." For the first time in my life, I didn't feel alone and I actually felt... happy. All thanks to Avery, the one person whose been there for me since day one. I owe her everything I could possibly give.


	29. Tourists and Finding Switchboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys I'm sorry about the wait, I didn't forget about the story just been busy with classes coming up, i promise next chapter will be more interesting i hope you guys are still reading! as always let me know how I'm doing :D

Deacon   
I leaned against a tree looking at the darkening sky, I could feel the small droplets landing on my face as it began to rain. 

"Deacon, is that you?" Her voice was curious and still soft, I hoped that while she was gone with her precious MacCready that she would forgive me for the way she believed things went down. 

"Yeah, you like? It's wasteland camo. This is my pile of garbage asshole, back off!" I purposely made my voice deeper, when I looked over at her she was fighting to keep the grin off her face. 

"I hardly recognized you." She murmurs as she takes in my new outfit, her eyes go straight to my bald head.

"You're lucky I didn't go all out and do one of my face swaps too." I say hoping to keep that smile on her face and the cheerful mood. 

"Face swap?" Avery's brows furrow as she looks at me utterly confused.

"Yeah, I've had this mug for too long." I murmur getting closer until it close enough to lean down and press a kiss to her forehead. 

"Can we talk about what happened?" I question watching as she frowns and looks away. "I was hoping we wouldn't have to bring it back up. I don't want to believe you used me." She whispers biting her lip. 

"I didn't use you, my interest in you was strictly personal until I realized that you could help out our cause. If our paths crossed it is because I wanted you, plain and simple. I'm not using you, sweetheart, I want you so bad it hurts." She looks up at me, steel eyes examining my face like she always does she removes my shades and peers into my forest eyes.

"I want you too Deac... I just feel like I don't know if I am getting played anymore." I place a hand on her cheek. 

"I'm a liar, everyone knows it and I don't try to hide it. I don't even know why I lie anymore. But I can't tell the truth, because if I did people would realize that I don't belong in the railroad. They'd see, I'm everything that's wrong with the whole fucking commonwealth." Her eyes soften as she takes my hand in hers removing it from her face. 

"We all make mistakes, Deacon." Her tone holds forgiveness she seems to be trying to absolve me of my sins and it absolutely crushes my heart . Because I don't want to tell her of my past, I don't want her to see me differently than she does at this moment, but I can't lie to her. Because I love her, god I love her. I'm sorry I managed to fall for someone else Barbra, but this girl, she's like a hurricane. I stood before her and I willingly surrendered in the wake of her destruction. I feel her give my hands an encouraging squeeze.

"Des, Tom, Glory, you and even that asshole Carrington, belong in the railroad but not me. Back before I was in the railroad when I was younger. I was scum, a bigot, and a violent one. Used to run with a group in university point called the UP Deathclaws. It started out with some property damage, then a couple beat downs and inevitably a lynching. The boss was convinced we had found a real live synth, looking back... I'm not so sure." I swallow hard looking anywhere but her face, I'm not ready to see the disappointment on her face. "I couldn't handle it so I left . I became a farmer if you can believe that. Then I met her, Barbra. She was.... She just was. She and I we were just trying to eek out a living, We were trying for kids, but my Barbra she was a synth. I don't know how the claws found out, I can't really remember much after that. All I know is that I blacked out and killed almost all of them. That's when the railroad contacted me thinking I'd be sympathetic to their cause seeing as I lost my wife." I feel a knot in my throat because this is as real as anything has been for me since Barbra. 

"I'm so sorry." I blink surprised my eyes snapping to hers, she looks like she's on the brink of tears.

"After everything that has happened to my family, i understand." She says steel eyes showing nothing but sympathy, not disappointment nor hatred. 

"I figured you would, I just want you to know I'm in your corner, I always have been. I thought if we were going to be traveling together that you should know. Anyways good talk, let's skip the hugs, I'm not really the hugging type." I say trying to distance myself from the wave of emotions I had worked so hard to rid myself of. She ignores my words and wraps her arms around me, her soft body clinging onto my back.

I suck in a deep breath as I place a hand over hers on my chest. She could see through my lies and here she was holding me as tightly as she could. We stand like that for a moment more droplets of rain falling onto my face and finally I can't take it anymore. I pull away from her turning and wrapping her tightly in my arms only to feel her embrace just as tightly.

"I can't lose you too Avery. I don't care who else you are with, just please don't ever stop caring about me." She nods against my neck, her lips at my ear.

"You'll never lose me." A whispered promise escaped her lips and I could only hold her tighter as I prayed to god and anyone else listening that this girl would survive. I leaned back stealing a kiss from her lips, she didn't push me away only pulling me closer as her lips desperately found mine. Our tongues quickly entwined brushing against each other sweetly, she tastes like mint leaves and mutefruit and god it tastes so good. She pushes me away after a moment her chest heaving and her beautiful pale face flushed a rosy pink.

"Heh, I got carried away." She shook her head a sweet smile appearing on her face. 

"No sorry?" She questioned as she ran her thumb over my lower lip.

"Hell no, anyone who would apologize for that is either stupid or crazy." She snickers as she slips her arm through mine.

"So what's this mission you were telling me about?" I smile back because just like that the tension has disappeared and we are okay, fuck! better than okay we are amazing. She's perfect and she's mine.

"We have a meeting with a tourist, who will be giving us more information. I'll take point for now." She nods pulling me down for one more kiss and I swear if my heart wasn't artificial it would be beating out of my chest. 

"We gotta keep an eye out for rail signs." I add as she and I walk up the ruins of a broken down bridge. I trail behind her a little bit just staring at her, so perfect even when she's broken. 

I wonder what the institute was thinking when they gave us emotions such as these.... Love? Lust? Why do machines need these things, longing is all I feel when I'm away from her but she seems fully ready to pick up where we leave off every time I disappear from her side.

"Excuse me." Avery says to the tourist finding him quickly. 

"Oh thank god! Do you have a Geiger counter! Do you have a goddamn Geiger counter!" Avery seems taken aback by the man's aggression but responds the way I taught her to. 

"Mines in the shop." She says softly calming the man down before his eyes are on me.

"Who the hell is he? HQ said they were only sending in one agent, not two." She looks over her shoulder at me almost as if she's looking for what to say.

"Sorry I'm new, she's just showing me the ropes." I respond taking a step back making our friend ease up, Avery's eyes narrow for a moment before looking back at the tourist. 

"Alright, The wall is my witness, I thought I was dead! It's about goddamn time you headquarters bastards got here." Avery sighs softly brushing her bangs away from her face. 

"tell me what happened here." He nods swallowing hard before launching into another rant.

"I signed on for some light recon, But that little Slocum joe of yours is crawling with goddamn chrome dome synth sons of bitches." I watch Avery pursing her lips trying not to laugh at the way this man was expressing himself. 

"Chrome domes?" She questions while I shake my head. 

"Those early model synths. looks like metal wrapped over mechanical innards." she nods for him to go on. 

"The front is fortified to hell and back, they've also placed mines all over the goddamn place." Avery crosses her arms over her chest.

"Thank you I appreciate the help." She says softly patting him on the shoulder.

"I hope this helps, I really do. But as soon as its safe I'm getting the hell out of here. So if you need anything else better ask soon." He responds sympathetically. 

"There is one thing actually, We are going to make a frontal assault I want you to pick off anyone that gets too close to us with that sniper of yours. A lot of lives are depending on this." She says and I feel my breath catch in my throat, I can tell Ricky feels the same because his eyes are wide as she stares at him with an unreadable face. 

"I.... you silver-tongued son of a bitch.... alright ill take a couple shots but if I see any of them coming for me in running for the hills. We're done." Avery only smiles and I feel my heart start again as she turns to face me nodding her head so I can walk with her.

"So isn't our friend Ricky just a ray of sunshine. You think he's telling the truth?" I question as leans her head back to stare up at me.

"I'm more interested in why you lied to him." I bite my lip to hide my grin. 

"My job in the railroad is intel, that job is easier if no one knows who I am. So I lied.... I do do that." I say smugly as she rolls her eyes. This Avery is all business and I can't lie my body feels hot, she's so very attractive when she takes charge like this. 

"You never answered my question. You think he's telling the truth?'" She shrugs her mouth turning into a frown. 

"I really don't think he'd lie about it, he doesn't seem like the type." I hummed in agreement.

"So if he's not lying that means that there are, a mine field and god knows how many gen ones and twos guarding that place." her frown deepens as we look over at the Slocum Joes from the bridge where we stand.

"There is a back entrance, we could always use that. It's an old service tunnel, how bout it?" She nods for a moment before turning to look back at me with those unnerving eyes. 

"Deacon." I shivered at the way she said my name. I stare at her as she turns to face me completely. Then before I know it I'm being pulled until her body is against mine, her lips seeking mine out. For the first time in my life, I think.... Life can't get better than this.


	30. Switch board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is not going to be the best chapter but i needed a filler for the chapters ive been waiting to write since i started this story.

Avery  
We are walking towards a service tunnel, Deacon seems to think this is the best idea even though he hasn't bothered to fill me in on our mission. He moves a couple vines away from the tunnel allowing me to step inside first. I opened the door holding it open for Deacon for a moment. When I turned to look at our new surroundings I sighed staring at the locked door. "Okay so this way is safer but be on the lookout for Gen ones and twos. So it's time you learn why we are actually here." I look up at him as I lean against the door giving him my full attention. "We're retrieving a prototype developed by the good doctor Carrington." I raised an eyebrow.

"What does this thing do? It must be important if we don't want the institute getting it." I question while he shrugs heading straight for the terminal that will unlock the door I'm currently leaning on. I listen to him typing away on the computer and I try not to hold my breath. After this mission, i won't let him escape me. I can't fight the grin that sprouts on my lips. He turns to face me as I push off the door, he I can see him swallow hard as I stare at him. 

"Is...Everything alright?" He questions stuttering over his words. "Of course, why wouldn't it be Deac?" I whisper softly watching as he turns away from me. 

"W-we should get going." He says leading me through the tunnel until we reach a picture painted on the wall. "Wait... It's a rail sign. It means danger....yeah we know you poor dead bastard." He says quietly. 

"We know." I place a hand in his instantly feeling him relax at the touch. We both get our weapons out and crouch down walking as quietly as we can onto a metal walkway. when we look over we can see two gen ones just walking down there. I look through the scope on my railway rifle and aim it at one of their heads while Deacon also lines up his shot. I take a deep breath holding it for three seconds and then when I exhale I pull the trigger watching as the synth gets his head nailed to the wall. Deacons shot works but it takes more than one to take down the synth. Once they are both dead we head lower passing bodies of people who were sure to be Deacons comrades. He's stone faced the entire walk through of the facility. We end up making it to a room that looks like that of an office. 

"This was one of the government's hidden secrets. It's called the switchboard." He murmurs as we look around the room now littered with synth corpses. 

"Come on, the vault is this way." He takes my hand in his and I can feel the slight tremble as we get closer to what looks like a bank vault. I watch him get to work on the terminal while I stare at his back. "Open says me." He says smugly as the door begins opening to him. We step inside to see another corpse on the floor this time human.

"So... Tommy Whispers didn't make it out. He died protecting our secrets." I stepped closer placing a hand on his shoulder as he crouches down to inspect the body. He picks up a small silenced 10 mm gun and hands it to me. "Here, Tommy would have wanted you to have his hand cannon. Don't let the size fool you, it's a strong weapon." I stare at the gun in my hand I open my mouth to object. But I hesitate the lights above us give me a clear view into Deacon's shades, his green eyes are sad and I know I can't deny his gift. So instead I give him a small smile. "Thank you, Deacon, I'll treasure it always." He stares at me strangely for a moment before nodding. "Take the prototype, bring it back to base. I....I'll meet you there." He says pulling away from me completely, I know If I let him go right now I won't be able to bring him back from this. I take his hand in mine and pull him closer he pauses for a moment staring back at me. I tug him closer bringing him to face me.

"Don't go... I need you to stay with me." Dont shut me out... Im practically begging him, he swallows hard opening his mouth to find some lie some way to worm some distance between us. 

 

"Please, Deac," I whisper leaning closer until my lips are against his hand's twine in my hair as he kisses me. Our bodies pressing together almost like magnets, His hands are rough tugging strands out of my maroon hair. I feel the warm feeling in my chest rise as Deacon's tongue finds mine. They mingle slowly together our dance becoming heated. I feel outright needy as I tug on his clothes. He pulls away and I think he's going to kiss me again... But he doesn't, he only stares at me for a long moment. 

"I'm sorry." Those words wound me, Out of all of those who have staked a claim on wanting me Deacon has always resisted me the most. I stare at him confused as he pulls away leaving me in the switchboard vault all by myself... I want to scream at him or cry even... I feel humiliated, every time I put my feelings on the table he always holds back. I don't bother heading for the church I can't see Deacon, not for a while. 

 

Deacon   
a month... is exactly how long it took for Avery to return with her prototype and badly drawn diagram of what's called a molecular relay. This time, she had both Danse and MacCready at her side the two hardly seeming bothered by the others presence. I listen to their small talk as we all make our way towards Sanctuary. Avery decided she would feel much better having the relay closer to home in case she didn't make it through. 

From what Danse and MacCready were saying, everyone, was gathered to greet their favorite girl again before she headed after the institute. I watched as she ran into the arms of Hancock having him lift her off her feet and spin her around until their mouths found each other. Paladin tin can didn't even bat an eye. Next was Nick Valentine who would be blushing right now if that were possible for the prototype. She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek that had him reeling. Her eyes were wide as Piper confessed her love and stole a kiss. When it was all over she wandered back towards Danse and MacCready when Desdemona gave her the patriot talk.

Avery nodded agreeing to go after our asset in the institute if her son was found. Then finally her steel eyes met mine, my heart skipped a beat as she pulled herself from MacCreadys arms striding over to me as though I didn't abandon her in the basement of a donut shop because I can't keep my emotions in check. "Hey, Deac." She says with a sweet smile and part of me can't believe that she's doing something so crazy. 

"Hey, yourself.... you actually plan to get inside that thing knowing tinker tom built it?" I question and she looks back at the relay with a nod. "Yeah, I'm not scared I just want my son back." She says softly as her eyes meet mine. I feel like something is about to go wrong very wrong but I can't pin point it. I open my arms to her and she hugs me tightly and we stand there holding each other as though this is going to be the last time we see each other. 

"I don't want to leave without saying something to you about how I feel." she murmurs looking up at me sadly. "I care about you so much, I love you... But I think it's time I let go." I felt my pulse quicken and my ears start to ring. Panic is rising in my chest in my heart, I don't know what I can do or say to her, I just feel guilty for not being able to get used to the idea of having to be committed to someone.

I want to say something... anything but what can I hope to accomplish. She deserves her happiness and I have no excuse, I will allow her to be with them without her having to worry about my interference. 

"I hope I'll see you around when Shaun and I get back." She says hugging me one more time.

"Goodbye." She only smiles back at me before standing on the relay platform. We all watch as tinker tom turns the device on blue electricity coiling around it like lightning. Then in the blink of an eye, the lightning strikes where she's standing and she's gone. 

"Avery!" MacCready screams but Danse holds him back as he tries to near the fried molecular relay. "She will be back, we have to trust in her... I know she will be back." Danse says setting the anguished merc on the ground. I look away not being able to look at them.


	31. Shaun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is only the beginning :D ive been waiting to start this for a while now its based on a mod for fallout 4 i hope you all enjoy.

Avery  
It fucking worked.... I ended up sprawled on a meticulously clean floor my hair curled around me. I sat up breathing hard as I looked at this place, It looked like a prewar relic untouched by time and the harshness of the war. I use the wall to lift myself off the ground walking through the room, It's dimly lit and part of me is thankful.

"Hello. I wondered if you might make it here. You have been quite resourceful." A voice says over the intercom, I ignore it placing the holotape inside sending the message to Patriot... almost instantly I got a response to meet him in a storage locker. 

"I'm known as Father... The institute is under my guidance..." That voice reminds me of Nate and he finally has my attention.

"I know why you're here, I'd like to discuss this with you face-to-face. Please, step into the elevator." I stare at it with a sigh, if they wanted me dead I would be very much dead. I follow the instructions I am given and enter the elevator. slowly it started descending downwards while father spoke again. 

"I can only imagine what you've heard.... What you think of us. I'd like to show you that you may have the wrong impression. Welcome to the institute." I feel the air leave my lungs as I stare at all the advanced technology around me. Beautiful staircases, trees, fountains of water all alive here. 

"This is the reality of the institute, this place, these people and the work we do, for over 100 years we have dedicated ourselves to humanities survival. Decades of research, countless experiments and trials. A shared vision of how science can help shape the future. It has never been easy, and our actions are often misinterpreted by those above ground. Some day perhaps we can show them what we've accomplished but for now, we must remain underground. There is too much at stake here to risk it all. As you've seen things above are.... unstable. I'd like to talk to you about what we can do for everyone." I end up in a small hallway not knowing where else to go I follow the hallway. 

"But that can wait... you are here for a specific reason... A very personal reason. You are here for your son. " At the end of the hallway, I find a small room. My heart picks up the pace hammering in my chest as I get closer. I see a small boy no more than ten years old.

"Shaun..." I whisper softly my eyes stinging with tears. "Huh? Yes, I am Shaun." The little boy says standing up and coming to the glass between us. I kneel down my hands pressing hard against the glass so I am level with my baby... my Shaun.

 

"Goddamn them, so many years stolen... from us." I whisper as the boy gets closer looking at me confused.

 

"Who are you!" He questions and I tremble. 

"I'm... I'm your mom sweetheart." my voice breaks as I say the words, but something happens then Shaun takes a step back his face becoming terrified.

"Father! Father! What's going on! What's happening!" I shake my head at him putting my finger to my lips. 

"Shh baby it's okay. I'm going to get you out of here... open the door... please Shaun." He shakes his head and begins screaming at the top of his lungs.

"I don't know you. Go away! Father! Father!" He's screaming and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror behind him. I'm covered in scars, my hair is matted and sticking up in all directions. My eyes are the worst of them all, I look absolutely feral, I stand taking a step back from the glass keeping me away from Shaun. I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, the door on the other side of the room opens and an older man steps through. His face looks like Nates, but his eyes are unmistakable. Those eyes are the ones I saw in the mirror not even a moment ago. 

"Shaun, s923 recall code Cirrus." I turn back to the boy who drops his head almost as if he's fallen unconscious. I've seen this before back in green tech genetics. 

"A synth?" I question looking up at the man well in his sixties whose gray eyes are boring holes into my face. 

"Fascinating but massively disappointing. The child's responses were not at all what I had anticipated. He's a prototype... you understand. We are only just beginning to explore the effects of extreme emotional stimuli. Please try to keep an open mind, I recognize that you are emotional and your journey here has been fraught with challenges. Let's start anew... I am father, welcome to the institute." I feel sick to my stomach. 

"Where is my son....Where is Shaun?" He steps closer and I reach for the gun on my belt but can't even seem to grasp it as I stare more at this man called father.

"I know.... I know you've gone to such lengths to find him." I swallow hard wiping the tears from my face. "I want answers right now." I say as he nods. 

"I just need you to understand this situation is far more complicated than you may have imagined. You have traveled far and suffered a great deal to find your son. Well, your tenacity and dedication have been rewarded. It's good to finally meet you after all this time. I am Shaun... your son." I feel like I'm falling only to be caught in this man's arms. He catches me as my world goes black. I blink my eyes open for only a moment to see myself laying on a gurney, Shaun was running a gentle hand down my cheek.

"Sleep mother... It's all for the best. Initiate study 121 Sanctuary." I close my eyes again falling into the darkness.


	32. Origins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More on Deacon :D

Deacon

“She’s gone dark.” Those are the words I never expected to hear. I have to sit down because my feet feel shaky. 

“H-how? She was in the institute she had made it! How is this even remotely possible? Someone as strong as her she can’t be…

“Deacon!” Dez pulls me from my despair gaining my attention once more. I look back up at her as she stares at me confused. 

“Sorry boss, you were saying?” She frowns seeming to catch on to my distress. “We shouldn’t assume the worst. She seems very capable of handling herself. We just have to assume she was compromised.

“Would she give us up?” I look up at her and I feel almost offended by the question. “Avery isn’t a traitor!” I growl slamming my hands on the table. 

“I truly hope you are right, we know nothing of the institute. We have no idea what means they could use to make her talk.” I shake my head as my hands start to tremble. I don’t even want to imagine someone hurting her. I feel absolutely sick, the only thought circling my brain is that I sent her to her death. It’s almost like what happened to Barbra all over again. I stand pushing my way out of the house Dez took up in Sanctuary. I don’t stop until I’m past the houses near the river’s edge. I splash some water on my face before looking at my reflection. I take off my shades and really look at myself, not a shred of who I used to be. 

But it’s still there, behind this face I’m not flesh and blood. I am a synth, the scourge of the Commonwealth. I slam my hand in the water not being able to look anymore, I can’t stand it. I did it! I’m the reason she’s…. I feel sick all over again, this time I do end up throwing up into the bushes.

“Deacon, you alright?” I look up to see Macready staring at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. I laugh because how the hell can it get any worse, once they find out she’s missing they will surely try to kill me for letting her go. Maybe that’s for the best though… I stop laughing as the thought sets root in my heart and mind. 

“I think Avery is dead.” The words leave my lips and I feel a stray tear roll down my cheek. 

“W-what?” He says softly his blue eyes become panicked and he falls to his knees next to me. 

“Dez told me that the tracker I installed in her pip-boy was destroyed. We have absolutely no idea where she is or if shes… alive.” MacCready sucks in a deep breath seeming to think about the possibility and finally he shakes his head. 

“Deacon, you should know by now how strong Avery is. This is the girl who survived 200 years in a cryo chamber. The girl who saved Nick Valentine from a vault. The same girl that has relentlessly chased down the institute to get her boy back. Those as—Those jerks don’t have a chance in hell with Avery after them.” He sounds so confident and I feel something I haven’t felt in a long time. Hope… for the world for everyone who follows her lead.

“Pull yourself together, come out to the bar when you are ready. I’m going to gather everyone and we are going to find Avery.” I stare at him in surprise as he hands me back my shades before confidently standing and heading towards the others. Part of me is envious that I can’t be as confident as he is, he can be as reckless as he wants. No matter what he does he can’t put anyone he cares about in danger because the only things that mattered to him are gone. Aside from his son, but even then his son isn’t here. He has no idea how lucky he truly is, I place my shades back over my eyes and stand head back towards everyone who is now gathered around MacCready.

“What the fuck do you mean she’s disappeared?!” Hancock hisses at the merc grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket.

“Her Pip-boy was disabled. We know where her last known location is but I don’t know what we can do about it.” I said softly as Hancock loosened his grip on MacCready. He turned to me his eyes darkening a few shades.

“You. Put. Her. OUT THERE!” He yelled and I couldn’t help but flinch. “Hancock, she would have gone whether Deacon would have tried to stop her or not. That’s how Avery is.” Danse says placing a hand on the ghoul’s shoulder while defending me… 

“He’s right though. I pointed her to the railroad, If she’s…. Her blood will be on my hands.” I say swallowing the knot that’s forming in my throat down. 

“You helped her find her son!” Danse continues defending me from myself and I look at all of them wondering why they bother with me at all. 

“Look guys, we can’t all turn on each other like rabid dogs, If we do who will help Avery?” Nick says making a very valid point. We all look around at each other and Danse pipes in again. 

“We need a plan and a good one.” I swallow had pulling out a map from my pack and setting it on a table for the bar. Everyone gathers around as I point out the CIT ruins. 

“CIT? Avery and I went there when we had to take down that courser?” Danse says looking up at me confused.

“She was under the CIT ruins when she went dark. Our conclusion is that the reason that we can’t reach the institute other than teleportation is because there are absolutely no doors inside. But we do know where they are now.

“I left one of my patrols there because I thought it would be a great location for the brotherhood to find prewar relics.” Danse says reaching for his radio.

“Echo 33 do you copy?” He questions listening to the static for a moment. 

“Echo 33 how can we be of service paladin?” He seems to sigh slightly relieved.

“Have you noticed anything strange in the area around the CIT ruins since I left you there?” We all stare intently as Danse continues the conversation. 

“All the raiders in the area were killed by coursers from the institute. They were going to attack us too but an older man called them off.” Danse’s eyes flicker to mine for a moment before he responds. 

“I want you to go back to base, don’t risk getting caught by them.” There’s a long silence on the other end of the line before we hear shuffling and a couple shouts. 

“B23-01 hello.” The voice of an old man reaches through radio and I feel my heart sink. I take the radio from Danse who looks absolutely mortified. 

“Hello Father. To what do I owe the honor?” Everyone’s jaw drops as they realize I’m a synth. “I found a tracker in the vault dweller… I mean my mother’s pip-boy that I know belongs to you.” I stiffen at his words. 

“Mother?” Father sighs softly.

“Avery Moore, Is my mother. When I was taken, she stayed in that cryo chamber for 60 years after I was released. I am her son, the one she searched so valiantly for.” I squeeze the radio tighter in my hands. 

“Where is she…? If she’s your mother surely you wouldn’t kill her.” The line goes silent once again.

“No… I couldn’t kill someone who worked so hard to find me, winning against all the odds. Mother is here where she will remain with me.” I feel like the air is being sucked out of me.

“I need to see her.” I say almost desperately. 

 

“You’d come back to us? Why don’t you come to CIT we can meet? I’m sure there is an arrangement we can come to.” My heart is racing as I look at the others.

“Fine, send X6-88.” I swallow hard as I try not to panic. 

“Splendid, he will rendezvous with you by Genentech genetics. Oh and B23, the others are not a part of this, I am only willing to deal with you.” The others all seem to protest when the line goes dead.

“You are a fucking synth!” Hancock screams it and I sigh.

“Yeah, most everyone in the railroad is.” They stare at me in shock while I gather my things.

“Here.” I place a tracking device in Danse’s hand. 

“I have a tracker in me too, they will take me to Avery and by the time they realize it you will have a location.” Danse only nods as he places the tracker in his jacket. 

“Stay safe out there Deacon.” MacCready places a hand on my shoulder. 

“Yeah you as well MacCready, I’ll do my best.” I say giving them one last look before I head out towards the CIT ruins.


	33. Project Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Project Sanctuary :D

Avery  
I feel like I’m going crazy, absolutely out of my mind. All my mind is screaming over and over again is wrong, wrong, wrong! I was lying in my bed in my old house in Sanctuary. But nothing was destroyed everything is in its place and its meticulously clean.

I sit up sliding out of the bed looking for a gun anything to defend myself with. I swallow hard as I make my way to the kitchen hoping for a knife. When I get there my heart nearly stops in my chest. Nate has his back turned towards me as he stands next to the oven. My hand covers my mouth as the tears come, I fall to the floor staring at him. He turns around instantly eyes wide. 

“Avery! Are you alright?” He runs to my side coming to check on me. I stare into big cobalt eyes and my heart shudders in my chest. 

“Is this a dream?’ He stares at me strangely for a moment. 

“No, love it isn’t…. Are you alright?” I place a hand on his cheek and swallow hard. 

“Yeah I am now.” I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes for a moment, I’m not ready for this to disappear. 

Nate wraps his arms around me and lifts me from the floor while I wrap an arm around his neck. We look at each other for a moment and I feel complete, he’s here he’s alive. He leans forward his lips finding mine and I don’t push him away because this is the man I had been in love with my entire life. His kiss is completely breath taking and I feel my heart racing in my chest as his tongue slides between my lips to meet my own. I shiver as our tongues slowly move together. 

“You are in a loving mood this morning.” I laugh at that because everything from before may have just been a dream, but my missing him wasn’t. 

“I can’t help how you make me feel.” He smiles at that carrying me to the living room. 

“Why don’t you relax and watch some TV while I make us something to eat?” I nod as he grabs a blanket and covers me with it, then heads back to the kitchen. The TV is playing old reruns of The Silver Shroud and Grognak the Barbarian, I get through a whole episode before Nate comes back with two plates in hand.

I curl into his side as I take the plate with fresh apple pie on it. When I smell it I feel my mouth water, Nate only pulls me closer before digging into his food. I feel like I haven’t had a decent meal in months, I practically devour all the food in a matter of seconds. Nate laughs softly and wipes some crumbs from my lower lip.

“That good?” I laugh softly nodding as he takes my plate and sets it on the coffee table next to us, I lay my head on his shoulder.

 

Deacon  
Im standing face to face with father, who is only grinning as he moves aside from the computer screen. I see her in the arms of a synth who reminds me of MacCready. They seem so happy together it hurts. My heart sinks as he presses his lips to hers and she doesn’t stop him.

“This man is a synth replica of my father Nathan Moore. I took his brain and inserted it into this synth so the memories he has are those he once shared with my mother.” I swallow hard staring at the monitor. 

“Where is she?” He tilts his head back staring at the ceiling. 

“I will only tell you, If you give me the railroads location. All the safe houses of the enemies of the institute. Even then I will take you to her but you must not tell her where she is or what is going on. Act as though you are meeting her for the first time.” I will only be able to live in her delusion; I won’t be able to stop this. 

“Fine, it’s all yours just please, please take me to Avery.” Father laughed seemingly delighted by the turn of events, He pulls me over to a table with what looks like a diagram of Sanctuary. 

“What is this?” I question staring up at father who points to Avery’s home in Sanctuary. 

“This is where mother is, I will give you the home across the street. To see her and to interact with her. What I need from my Mother is an Heir. One to take over the institute when I am gone. That synth… Is special. He has my father’s reproductive organs in him as well. I was able to create a half human half synth hybrid. He could impregnate my mother. He could give me a brother or sister that could carry on our legacy. I shiver as I look up at him the tears are burning in my eyes. 

“He can have children…?” He can give her something I never could… I feel a knot form in my throat. Father nods looking at me from the corner of his eyes. I can’t give her that, I would never be able to.  
“I want her to live here until a suitable heir is born. After that we will bring her in to work with the institute. We have already modified her as well, she like Kellogg will outlive all of humanity.” I feel my hands shake as I turn to father again.

“Is there a way to do it again… A way to make other synths have children!?” Father raises a silver brow in interest. 

“Yes, If I still have their original body.” I feel hope sprout in my chest. “I know you have the bodies of all the coursers here… Please I know you can do the same for me.” Shaun only smirks. “As you wish Deacon.” He gestures for me to walk with him, I was trembling in utter fear as he took me a chamber that looked all too familiar.

I held my breath as he opened one of the pods. I saw myself… the old me, my original face, original hair color. I stared at what was essentially me, the coward. He was so weak and pathetic, it made me sick just to see that face again. I had been through so many face swaps just to take his looks from me. To have to take his reproductive organs was bad enough, but what mattered was Avery. Giving her something only I could give. I bite my lip hard and look up at father. 

“Let’s get this show on the road.” He nods as Madison Li enters the room pulling me away from my original self. She straps me down to a hospital bed and begins prodding at my body, I feel uncomfortable but I know it’s all for the best. 

“Tell me Deacon. Where is your leader?” I suck in a deep breath knowing that the guilt will wear me down for the years to come. 

“Old North Church.” Father sighs softly while I spend the rest of my surgery explaining to him the system we have in the railroad and telling him exactly where all of our other safe houses are. Father listens intently while X6-88 writes down the names and locations of all the places I mention. After I’m finished Father leaves and X6 stays at my side staring at me curiously. 

“Were the lives of all those people and synths worth the life of that girl?” I look up at him and smile grimly. 

“More than worth it.” He tilts his head in confusion. 

“Why give us your one and only weakness?” I shrug as I lay back in a hospital bed recovering. 

“I was more desperate about finding her than Id care to admit.” He accepts my answer before helping me off the bed and helps me get dressed. 

“Shit!” I hiss as I stand, it feels as though I’ve been punched over and over in the same spot by a goddamn super mutant. 

“It’s alright B23. I will take you to your new home in project Sanctuary.” I nod as he wraps my arm around his shoulder and teleports us out of the institute, I stare around us to see we are up on the hill next to Sanctuary. Nearby is a nuclear shelter, X6 heads straight for it pressing in a combination before the door opens to him. By this time, I can hardly stand through the pain radiating throughout my body. We both get inside together and its crowded as fuck in there but I don’t mind. It feels a bit nostalgic to be next to my old partner once again. I hadn’t seen him since I left the institute and quit being a courser. The shelter seemed to work like an elevator and when we made it down, my jaw dropped in shock. 

“Welcome to project Sanctuary, B23.” He had created a whole world for Avery underground, a prewar version of Sanctuary. The sky was so blue with its own sun overhead, there was grass and such tall trees. I stepped out of the pod as he helped me down the hill we had just been on. We walked until we made it to Sanctuary which was as busy as I had ever seen it. There were synths everywhere talking and gossiping living absolutely carefree. It was so beautiful, X6 helped to walk down the street into the house across from the one where Avery lived above ground. He unlocked the door dropping the keys on the table before helping me into my bed. I laid back hissing in pain everything started hurting ten times worse. 

“Remember fathers warning, act as though you have just met her.” Were the last words uttered by X6 who threw a new pair of clothes at me. After that he was gone and I was just lying in bed staring at the ceiling knowing Avery was right across the street with that Synth meant to look like the man she lost. I want to go over to her, I want to tell her everything, how worried I was about her. I want to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I fucking missed her. But I have to play the perfect fucking stranger, I feel like shit about everything I gave to get here. I close my eyes as tears roll down my cheeks and for the first time in a long fucking time I break down.


	34. Seeing is believing

Deacon   
Somehow I manage to fall asleep and when I wake up the pain in my stomach isn’t is as bad. I grab the clothes X6 had thrown at me and wander into the bathroom staring in surprise at the running water. I step in the shower feeling the warm water caress my skin. I sigh softly as steam fills the bathroom, I feel all the tension leaving my body as I scrub all the grime of the wasteland from my body. I quiet click draws my attention and I wrap a towel around my waist and step out walking towards the sound, I make it to my living room seeing Avery’s pretend husband leaning against my door glaring me down. 

“I heard from Father that I have some competition in my relationship with Avery.” I narrow my eyes back at him. 

“There is no competition, you only wear the face of a man from her past, but me? I am her present and I’ll be damned if I’m not her future.” Nate throws his head back and laughs looking up at me.

“Falling in love with a human? You truly are pathetic B23. For being one of the original models it’s understandable though.” I clench my fists at my side as he raises an eyebrow at the challenge. 

“You are far too weak to fight me off. I could just slit your throat and be done with it.” He says it with a small smirk on his face. I laugh in his face making his face serious. 

“Father would throw you in the discard pile if you try and in regards to Avery when she begins questioning her reality who do you think she will run to?” Nate eyes seem to darken a few shades as he stares at me. There’s a knock at the door that distracts the both of us from each other. 

“Better get that wouldn’t want your new neighbors to worry.” Nate spat in irritation as he plants himself on my couch, fucking asshole… I limp over to the door opening it to come face to face with Avery. Her face flushes as she stares at me, her eyes then find something very interesting on the floor to stare at. 

“Myra told me she saw m-my husband come here.” I feel my whole body ache as I look at her, I feel an overwhelming need to touch her to hold her. 

“You must be Avery; Nate was telling me all about you.” Her eyes shoot up at the sound of my voice, her face becomes pale as she stares at me her eyes wandering to the scars on my stomach and shoulders. 

“Deacon…” She whispers as a trembling hand reaches out to touch me to see if I’m real.

“Avery!” That snapped her right out of her trans causing her hand to fall back to her side as she looks up at Nate with a lost expression. 

“It’s not polite to stare at someone like that honey.” He says coming to stand next to us.

“And Deacon you should get dressed, I’m sorry to have intruded.” He says it with an easy going smile, I look to Avery who meets my gaze in confusion. 

“It’s okay Nate. It was nice meeting you Avery.” I say about to shut the door when she stops me.

“Have dinner with us tonight.” I watch as Nate grits his teeth glaring at the back of his pretend wife’s head. 

“Avery dear, we don’t know if he has plans.” She looks back at Nate like she’s done something wrong. 

“No, I actually don’t have plans. I’d love to have dinner with you Avery.” I make a point of only saying her name as I glare at Nate over her shoulder. 

“That’s great, I’ll make something delicious! Come by at 7:30.” She says her eyes softening with gratitude.

“Let’s go honey.” Nates voice is like silk as he grabs Avery by her waist pulling her to him as they walk across the street to their home. I stay at the door watching as Avery looks at me over her shoulder, I feel a terrible longing as she stares at me. Finally, I snap out of it when I hear our neighbors whispering to each other about the guy wearing only a towel. I step back inside shutting the door behind me. I go back to my clothes and get dressed as quickly as my wounds will allow. 

I head back outside trying and barely succeeding to hide my limp. Everything looks the same as it did in our world aside from the fact that everything is clean and clear. I use the bridge as support as I walk over a shallow river of water. I stare at an entire world built for Avery, there’s a large forest surrounding Sanctuary, but in the distance I can see what looks like buildings.

“Excuse me stranger, you are the new neighbor aren’t you? You heading into Concord?” I blink at the synth who passes by me in one of those old prewar cars. 

“Uh yeah… I’m Deacon….” I say as the man opens the door next to me to allow me inside. I step inside without even bothering to worry, this is a world created by father, nothing will happen. 

“It’s nice to meet you Deacon I’m Peter.” He smiles at me before driving forward on the path toward the buildings. The drive is quiet but it makes me feel calm watching the scenery pass us by. After a couple minutes we reach the city and it’s the same as Sanctuary all what it looked like before the war.

“Ill leave you here in the city I’ll be back to retrieve you in a few hours.” I thank the man before heading around Concord, this place is absolutely filled with synths. They are all living as though this was real, some noticed me but I didn’t get any hellos only a few lingering gazes of mothers with their synth children. I stared confused as they went in and out of stores by food and clothes. 

“What do you think of the place?” I turn around to see X6 by my side.

“How did he create all this?” He ignores me as he leads me into a small restaurant where he sat me at a booth in a lone corner. I looked up at him as he went over and ordered us some food before sitting across from me. 

“Just like old times huh?” I rolled my eyes at him.

“yeah all that’s missing is the Death claw eggs and Nuka cola.” I muttered sarcastically. X6 only sighed as he stared at me. 

“Are you going to be this moody the entire time you are here?” I shoot him a glare as the owner of the store sets down to plates of food in front of us. 

“What is this?” I question looking at X6 who’s already dug into his food. 

“This is food father created from Nates memories, he did a lot of testing so it would come out the same to his mother.” I look at the food suddenly not so hungry anymore.

“Father wants me to pretend she’s losing her mind doesn’t he?” X6 shrugged still stuffing his face. 

“I’m not sure what he wants with that woman, but it can’t be good. He gave you a choice to be here with her. You chose to stay at her side without even bothering to think of the consequences to the people you and she care about.” I look out the window of the shop finally deciding to eat. 

“I thought about it, her safety outweighed that of the others.” X6 stared at me for a moment his shades were off so I could see his dark brown eyes. He doesn’t seem to care either way but he always was my voice of reason. 

“No regrets then?” He questions just about finished with his food.

“Too many my friend.” X6 laughs softly before placing what looks like a wallet on the table. 

“Use this wisely, the way father has it set up you need to use currency from before the war to get anything here.” I nod watching as he leaves a few bills on the table before waving goodbye. I stay there for a while longer unsure of what to do with myself. I take the wallet with me opening it up. There’s a card inside with a photo of me that seems to be some sort of Identification? It has my name Deacon Trevor; date of birth says I’m only 28 years old. I put it in the back pocket of my jeans and when I finally stand It starts to rain. The owner of the small restaurant handed me an umbrella. 

“The weather here is quite unpredictable. Take this with you.” I thank him before I head out, I see others walking down the street like I am. 

 

 

Avery  
“Myra told me she saw m-my husband come here.” I say looking at the ground trying my hardest to not stare at the man before me. 

“You must be Avery; Nate was telling me all about you.” I freeze my eyes shooting up to his face as his voice registers in my ears. 

“Deacon….” I whisper my hand reaching out for my old companion. What is going on… how is Deacon here? What the hell is going on!? I’m trembling as I reach out to him and he doesn’t move an inch, his sharp forest eyes focus on my hand seeming to try and analyze what I’m about to do.

“Avery!” Nate's voice cuts through my haze like a knife and suddenly I’m staring at my husband who is now walking past Deacon.

“It’s not polite to stare at someone like that honey.” He says and suddenly I feel absolutely guilty this man can’t possibly be Deacon? 

“And Deacon you should get dressed, I’m sorry to have intruded.” He says it with a smile but I can tell he’s frustrated, I look at this man again, he even has the same name as my ex companion. 

“It’s okay Nate. It was nice meeting you Avery.” He says it softly so close to shutting the door and despite Nate being right next to me I can’t stop the words that come from my mouth.

“Have dinner with us tonight.” I can feel Nates glare boring into my back but I can’t bring myself to care. 

“Avery dear, we don’t know if he has plans.” I turn to Nate who is very obviously not enjoying the fact that I just invited him into our home. Deacon is quick to dismiss him. 

“No, I actually don’t have plans. I’d love to have dinner with you Avery.” I shiver at the way he says my name, this has to be my Deacon, I know it is.

“That’s great, I’ll make something delicious! Come by at 7:30.” I say happily as Nate wraps an arm around my waist holding me tightly to him. It’s a small reminder that I belong to him and my heart sinks. 

“Let’s go honey.” Nate's voice is soft but I can hear the anger in it. He drags me home and I can’t help but look at Deacon over my shoulder. He’s still standing at the door watching me with such a strange look in his eyes. Finally, we get inside the house and Nate shuts the door cutting off my view of Deacon. 

“Is there something you want to tell me?” He questions cobalt eyes narrowing at me.

“What do you mean?” I question playing dumb even though I know he wants to know about Deacon.

“Avery, I wasn’t born yesterday…. I saw the way you looked at him. I also saw the way he looked at you….” I bite my cheek to keep from saying anything unnecessary. 

“Tell me I’m just imagining it, that I have nothing to worry about… Please.” I swallow hard striding forward until I’m in front of Nate. 

“Hun, I’m just trying to be friendly. If you don’t want him to come, I will go cancel on him. Ill lie and say something came up.” Nate looks down at me his eyes peering into mine for any sign of dishonesty.

“It’s alright, just please remember you have a husband and one day we will have a child.” He says softly placing a hand on my stomach. One day…? Don’t I have a child…. I feel like I do. But I can’t remember their face or their name. I place a hand over his trying not to think too hard and get a headache. 

“I’m going to start preparing dinner.” I say softly pulling away from him. He makes a strange face that I can’t quite place before pulling me close again and pressing his lips to mine. I blink in confusion as he pulls back heading for the door. 

“I’m going to skip out on this dinner, you and Deacon enjoy yourselves.” Part of me is shell shocked at his sudden change in behavior, the other part is relieved that I will be able to speak to Deacon and see what is going on.


	35. Is it madness or is it love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deacon makes some bad decisions and some that may just affect everyone close to Avery. Avery lets her feelings for Deacon block out everything else for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song You Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless helped me finish this chapter so if you want listen to it while reading this chapter :D Next chapter will show how everyone else is doing with Deacon and Avery's disappearance.
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> Also i just hit 80k words and over 12k hits between here and fanfiction! i love you guys thanks so much for reading and supporting my story! Every comment helps me get the next chapter out faster :D

Deacon  
I’m nervous, for the first damn time in my life I feel like I can’t sit fucking still. I smooth my clothes down for the 12th time before finally finding the courage to knock in her door. 

“Just a second!” I hear her call from the other side of the door. She opens the door and I feel my breath taken from me at the sight of her. Her hair is curled in pretty little ringlets curling around her pale face. She’s wearing a sparkling red dress like the one Magnolia used to wear up on stage in Good Neighbor. Her face is painted up making her look like one of those girls from those prewar magazines, blood red lips, black eyeshadow making her steel eyes look even brighter. She looks absolutely stunning; this prewar life really suits her.

“Come on in.” She murmurs softly moving from the door to let me in. I walk inside blinking at the candle lit dinner with only two plates. She walks up next to me her heels clicking against the wooden floor as she follows my gaze. 

“Nate said he’d skip on dinner, so it’s just you and me.” I bite my tongue so I don’t say anything stupid but the victory is ringing in my ears clear as day. 

“Please sit.” She says softly as she goes to the kitchen to get our food. This feels right, so fucking right. I look towards the kitchen and I can’t help but imagine that this is the way life should be for us. Avery and I living together as husband and wife, I’m finally able to give her a child, but if I do Shaun wins and this illusion will be broken. I look up at her as she sets some meat in front of me followed by normal vegetables. She also pours what smells like alcohol in the glass next to my food. When she goes back to her chair I go to her side and pull it back, she smiles up at me before I go back to my own place. Everything is quiet while we eat and once we finish she looks up at me as though it’s the first time she’s looking at me. 

“Where am I?” I swallowed hard knowing this was coming. 

“Sanctuary?” I question trying to sound as genuine as I can. 

“Deacon, please now is not the time for your games. What the hell is going on.” I stand up trying to look as confused as I possibly can. 

“I really don’t know what you mean.” She stands and I can tell she’s pissed off by the way she stalks over to me cornering me against the wall. I stare at her and it’s like a switch is flipped inside her, her smile is absolutely feral like a predator stalking its prey. 

“So you really don’t know who I am?” Her voice is like silk as she questions me. I shake my head and her body is suddenly pressed against mine, her face inches from mine as she looks up at me. The scent of her perfume is almost intoxicating as she gets closer to me. Fuck! Fuck! FUCK! My mind was roaring as she ran her perfectly manicured nails down my chest. 

“Are you sure you don’t remember me Deacon?” I nod again this time her lips go to my neck making me shiver as she plants small kisses up my jaw. It takes all of my self-control not to grab her and take her against the wall. 

“You’re lying.” She whispers in my ear and something in me breaks. I wrap my arms around her pulling her even closer as I close the gap between our lips. She doesn’t fight me as I press my lips against hers, she only slips her arms around my neck holding me tighter to her. Our kiss is desperate almost as if she’s afraid I’ll disappear again, I won’t not this time, I’m done running from what I feel for you. Our tongues find each other slowing sliding together. I feel my heart racing in my chest as she moans against my lips. I lift her up making her dress hike up to her stomach. Her legs wrap around my waist as I drag her to her old bedroom. I throw her on the bed my body instantly moving to cover hers.

“You planned this didn’t you, you planned to seduce me from the moment you laid eyes on me.” I murmur huskily into her ear. 

“Yes! Deacon!” The only words that come out of her mouth and I feel the heat coursing through my veins I need her. I grab her dress and tear it open throwing it aside to see Avery’s beautiful body. She looks gorgeous sprawled out beneath me, her hair is a mess from how I pulled at it while we kissed. Her pale face is a light pink as she pants so close to begging. She smiles up at me her hands finding their way to the back of my neck to pull me closer once again. I brush my lips against hers as I stare into her eyes pushing her hair from her face. 

“Your so fucking beautiful.” She smiles up me as she starts tugging my shirt over my head. I throw it aside as she stares at my body. 

“I knew it was you.” She murmurs her fingertips feathering over the scars on my stomach and back. I run my fingers through her hair as slender fingers unbuckle my belt and push my pants and boxers down. I can feel her warm breath against my lips as she gets closer only to place a small kiss against my lips before wrapping her legs around my hips. I wrap my arms around her back pulling her up until she is seated on my lap facing me. I feel her lips at my ear as she runs a gentle hand down my chest.

“I need you.” She whispers softly causing a shiver to roll down my spine she’s holding me as if she’s afraid I’ll run away again. I hold her tightly trying to show her, I won’t run like I usually do when things become too real. Even though I never strayed too far from her, I ran from her affection because I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. But now I won’t let go, I won’t run from you so please don’t run from me when this is over. My mind wasn’t functioning anymore, having her was so much more important. I kissed her neck as I slowly lifted her up so she was hovering just above me. I slowly lowered her down easing my way inside her as I savored the look of complete ecstasy on her face as she threw her head back and gasped.

“Fuck Sweetheart.” I groaned as my grip on her hips tightened as I slid all the way inside her. She trembled as she placed her hands on my shoulders, slowly she began to move herself on top of me. Her gasps and pants were causing my self-control to falter, I felt like the air was being sucked from my lungs and all I could do was hold on as this goddess used my body for her own pleasure. It wasn’t long before she forced me onto my back allowing me to watch her beautiful body tensing above mine as she rode me taking everything I had to give.

I slowly ran my hand up her toned stomach watching enraptured by her pleasure filled face. Her hand trailed down over mine as she slid it up to her chest, underneath my hand I could feel her heart beating erratically almost as if it was going at the same rhythm as mine. Her eyes seemed to glow in the darkness of her bedroom as she continued her pace. I was gasping and panting already being able to feel my release building up on me and I know im close… so fucking close. 

I want her, it’s like an itch and no matter what she does I don’t feel satisfied because it’s not enough for me. I want all of her, to absolutely devour her. I pulled her closer by her slender waist and rolled over until she was underneath me once more. With one last kiss I plunged into her as hard and as fast as I could, her lips parted from mine to whimper and cry out. I feel the sting in my shoulder before I realize it she bites down hard on my shoulder to stop herself from screaming. 

Her actions only pushed me closer to the edge and once I felt her release around me I couldn’t hold back anymore. I felt insatiable like I couldn’t get rid of this wicked heat so I tried harder I could feel the strength I put into holding Avery against me. She would probably have bruises; I could only smile to myself at the thought of Nate finding them on her skin. 

I slammed into her one last time my mouth finding hers. She accepts my kiss and my body as I release inside her, her legs tighten around my hips forcing me to remain inside her until I’m completely finished. When I pull back I stare at her beautiful face her arms loosely wrap around my back as she meets my gaze with those stone colored eyes. I leaned down pressing kisses to every part of her face I could. My mind whispered how sorry it was over and over again with each kiss I planted against her skin. 

I took her without a care in the world, I knew she deserved a choice in what I had just done but there was no way for me to explain what had just happened. She laid there panting exhausted from what we had just done, but she didn’t seem to regret it yet… I wonder if she realizes that she can get pregnant. After a few moments I let myself drop beside her laying in the bed. We both stare at the ceiling as we try to catch our breath, for the first time in my life I’m speechless. I don’t know what to do or what to say, Avery turns to look up at me and a warm smile sprouts on her lips. 

“I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time.” I laugh at her pressing a kiss her forehead.

“I don’t want to move; I want to stay here with you like this forever.” I whisper into her hair as we embrace each other. 

“I wish we could.” She speaks the words so softly that I almost think that they are my imagination. Just as were about to kiss I hear the door knob click out in the other room, we both freeze realizing that we had just had sex in her bed. That Nate could have come back at any moment and a rush of adrenaline filled my veins.

“Get something on now!” I whisper quietly as I compose myself getting my clothes on as fast as I can and wipe her lipstick from my skin. I walk out to meet Nate who is throwing his jacket on the coat hanger by the door. He turns around coming face to face with me only to sigh.

“I thought you’d be long gone by now.” Nate glares at me for a moment before realizing his wife is nowhere to be seen.

“No I’m still here.” He narrows his eyes at me then looks past me towards the hallway that leads to his bedroom. 

“Where is Avery?” I bite my tongue because I want to tell him that she’s picking herself up from the mess I made her. 

“I’m right here Hun, I wasn’t feeling well. Guess the food didn’t sit well in my stomach.” She says coming up behind me hair tied in a bun wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Her make up is fixed as well and she doesn’t look like she was almost ravaged. He stares between us for a moment and his eyes narrow on my shoulder. I swallow hard vaguely remembering Avery bit me. 

“I should get going, it’s getting pretty late. Thanks for dinner Avery I appreciate it.” I say turning to her and placing a kiss on her cheek before heading out and I could feel Nate's gaze burning into my back as I took my leave. I walked back to the home I had been given and threw myself on the couch feeling multiple stings across my back. I’m distracted by a small beeping coming from my bedroom. I force my tired body up and walk towards the room and see my old clothes still lying in heap on the floor. 

The faint beeping gets louder and rifle through the clothes coming across the tracker I had kept on me. I see it flashing and I take a deep breath, the others certainly have a right to know where she is. They deserve to see her but now as she is, I can’t… I can’t let anyone get in the middle of this. 

Guilt tenfold as I crush the tracker in my palm, I close my eyes praying that this choice is the right one and I know it’s wrong, but I can’t let anyone get in my way right now. I throw the bits of tracker into the garbage and head to take a shower.


	36. What is given cant be taken back, only lost

MacCready  
Two weeks ago Deacons tracker stopped working though we all doubted it worked to begin with being as the tracker showed he was in Sanctuary the whole time. I sat against Avery’s bed on the floor wondering how the hell we could let this happen… the two of them just disappeared off the damn face of the wasteland. I feel alone even though any day now Duncan was going to be brought over here, I knew I should be happy but without Avery I feel lost. 

“How are you doing?” Paladin Danse’s voice catches me off guard, I look up at him faking a smile. 

“I’m fine.” Danse sighs and sits on the bed next to my head. 

“I miss her too…” He says softly as he stares at his hands. 

“I don’t know why I let them go. Why I thought it would be okay for me to let them find the institute without us.” I nudge his leg with my shoulder.

“It’s not your fault. We need to focus on finding them. There any chance your brotherhood friends could find out if there is anything here technology wise. What we need to know for sure is that they truly aren’t right beneath our noses.” I say as Danse nods. 

“I called upon my squad they are bringing scanners to see if there is anything worth finding around here.” I sigh feeling like it’s a complete waste of time but I know that if I don’t do this we will be ruined. Just as our conversation ends I can hear the sound of the vertibird close to landing. 

“Shall we go meet them?” He says offering me a hand and I take it following behind him. I run into his back as he abruptly stops in his tracks. 

“What the hell Danse?” I look up at him seeing his body go ridged.

“Elder Maxon welcome.” He says saluting this strange guy who gets off the vertibird followed by Danse’s subordinates who look fairly guilty. 

“Why did you not tell me Knight Avery found the institute?” Danse swallows hard looking at the ground.

“He had no idea, I came to him after Avery left to find them.” He glared at me and something about this guy clicked in my mind. He looks really f- freaking familiar. 

“Arthur… Arthur Maxon.” I say trying my hardest not to laugh.

“I become a gunner and you… you end up becoming the leader of the freaking brotherhood of steel?” Danse looks at me like I’m out of my damn mind. 

“Mayor MacCready?” He questions looking at me confused.

“It’s nice to see you again squire.” I mock him with a laugh and Maxon’s face turns to that of a smile. He steps forward offering me his hand to shake it. 

“It’s been too long; I didn’t expect you to come here after the incident in the capital wasteland.” I shrugged. 

“You know me I love trouble.” Maxon nods. 

“Obviously if you are in bed with my newest knight.” I smirk at that. 

“What can I say?” Maxon just rolls his eyes. 

“I need to find her Maxon. Help us please.” Maxon sighs and gestures for the other two with him to begin doing a sweep of Sanctuary. 

“They will do a sweep of Sanctuary if anything high tech is around here they will find it.” I smile thanking him as Danse looks between us confused.   
“We met in the capital wasteland as children when Miss Lyons did a raid on little lamplight. A small haven for young children where MacCready was the mayor.” Danse looked at me surprised.

“How is Sarah these days?” Maxon looks over his shoulder towards where the pilot of the Vertibird is seated. He waves her over and I stare in shock as Sarah comes out of the vertibird.

“Sarah!” I call out to a woman who is ten years my senior. I run over to her wrapping my arms around her tightly. 

“Hey kid!” She says with a laugh as she pulls away from me. 

“How have you been?!” She says taking in my appearance. 

“I’ve been good just waiting to find news on Avery and hear from the caravan bringing my son up here with us.” They both look shocked. 

“A son?” They say together almost frowning at the realization. 

“Yeah, had a wife a while back.” They read my expression easily and express their condolences. I shove away the thoughts of Lucy.

“I’m surprised that someone as strong as this girl has gone missing even against the institute.” Max on says looking towards Sarah. 

“She’s not missing, her son has her. Shaun is the director of the institute.” Maxon freezes as those words leave my lips. 

“She claimed her son an infant.” I shook my head. 

“Turns out he was released from his cryo sleep 60 years before her.” I say causing Maxon to frown.

“SIIIR we found something!” We all turn to see Haylen and Reese waving at us from atop the mountain that had that vault. We all run over to them watching as they looking around the area.

“The scanner its picking up a lot of technology centered here.” Haylen says as she looks around the barren area. 

“It has to be reacting to the Vault beneath us.” Maxon says with a sigh. They frown all accepting it as the tracker wasn’t working to begin with and now with its signal gone there’s no way to find her. 

“MacCready, we should head back.” That’s Danse at my side again. 

“I think I’m going to spend the night in the Vault.” I say looking up at him. Everyone was well on their way down except for us. I heard a twig snap not too far from us. I look over to see a man dressed in a courser uniform like Avery had described when she came back. 

“Courser!” I screamed as I pushed Danse towards the nuclear shelter before us. 

“FUCK, get in the damn shelter hurry!” The gunshots were already flying towards us, one slid across my cheek barely grazing it. I pushed Danse inside and slammed my hand on the button to close the doors. My heart is kicking into double time as the bullets hit the outside of the shelter that I’m now crammed against Danse inside it. I’m trembling as I try to think of a way out of this a way to get passed that courser. But he will easily be able to take us down. Danse leans back against the opposite side of the shelter to give me a bit more room. When he does he hits a button that begins lowering us into the ground. 

Then before we know it we are being lowered into something that I have no fucking words for. We look up at each other before looking back down at Sanctuary that I swear we were just standing on. “What in the world?” Danse says voicing the thoughts in my head. 

Nate  
Immediate discomfort is what I felt despite entering my own home, when Deacon was the one to greet me I thought nothing of it until Avery arrived behind him. She seemed calm a little too calm for being so close to Deacon while knowing exactly who he is. Part of me wonders if he’s told her the truth but I don’t think he’s that stupid…. He loves her too much. Love…. I don’t know if I can feel that for her or anything else. How could I when I’m reminded every day by father that I am just a synth with his father’s face.

But I can’t help but grit my teeth watching the way they unconsciously react to each other, the way they gravitate towards each other until they are just barely grazing the other. It’s almost as if they need to be touching, to be close to one another. It’s sickening, she’s mine even if it is until she’s pregnant.

The thought of letting Deacon win her is what’s really pissing me off. Her emotions wont easily be swayed but she could have loved me if it weren’t for that asshole begging father to let him back. Since he was fathers favorite courser of course he caved but at least he got the railroad leaders location. I try to swallow away my anger as he pulls her close kissing her cheek before waving good bye. 

I look back to Avery who is looking at the door with a frown. “Did I interrupt something?” I say getting her to look back up at be. But she doesn’t even look guilty. 

“Of course not, Deacon was already leaving, he just wanted to make sure I was alright.” She lies but for whose sake? Hers or mine? I walk closer to her watching as she stares at me curiously I place a hand on the back of her head using it to pull her against my chest. 

“I missed you… did you miss me?” I whispered into her ear as her hands raised wrapping around my waist. 

“Of course I did Nate.” She doesn’t even question where I’ve been, though I doubt she cares. I pull back only to lift her chin so she’s staring up at me, even now her eyes stray away from me just a fraction. Looking behind me rather than at me, it really makes me angry. I go to kiss her lips my lips hovering over hers just an inch away. She squeezes her eyes shut can she even look at me anymore? I feel strange emotions well up inside me, I can’t force myself on her. I can’t force her affections; I don’t want to force them.

I pull away from her burying my face into my palms as the tears come. Did he feel something for her after all? “Nate?” She whispered looking up at me confused. 

“Hah… you can’t look at me, my touch disgusts you don’t it. After being with him for one night. Is that really all it takes to forget me Avery?” I say dropping my hands from my face to look at her. She slaps me so hard that if I were human I’m sure my brain would have been rattling. 

“Fuck you.” She hisses as she goes to hit me again, I catch her wrists in my hands and slam her hard against the wall. Her eyes seem to widen as a wave of familiarity crashes over her. 

“Let me go.” She growls while I stare at her face. She pushes me off of her walking back to our bedroom, the anger in me fuels me to follow after her. I stop short when I see the bed is a fucking mess I look to the side to see Avery’s dress in a torn heap by the closet. I swallow hard as the betrayal sets into my heart, I grab her again my hands wrapping around her so her back is against my chest. I whisper the question into her ear. 

“You slept with him?” I say my voice hoarse.

“I did.” she growls in frustration. 

“I’m your husband how the hell could you do that to me?” I feel a tear roll down my cheek. 

“You aren’t my husband, I watched Nate get shot in the head before my eyes. I watched him die as our baby boy was stolen from his dead hands. My husband is dead.” She screams as she tries to push me off of her. She’s struggling but I don’t move, I watch as she breaks down in tears. While I play my part, I stare at her as though she’s lost her damn mind. My hands go to her pale cheeks cupping them to make her look at me. 

“Listen to yourself Avery? Do you realize how fucking crazy you sound? I’m right here, I’m alive and you just cheated on me using this as an excuse? What the hell?” She’s shake her head pushing me away as I stare at her looking as distraught as I possibly can. Though with how I’m feeling now it isn’t much of a leap. 

“Deacon is here and that’s proof enough whatever this place is, is a lie.” She says it confidently but I can only glare at the name leaving her lips.

“Did Deacon tell you that? That this life we have is fake?” She shakes her head and part of me is angry, I wish he would have told her. That way I could get rid of him.

“He didn’t say that… he didn’t have to…” She swallowed hard at how tightly I held her.

“So you slept with this stranger that resembles someone you used to care about based on a delusion that I am not really your husband?” Avery frowns almost as if the gears in her brain are turning, the exact words she must be saying in her head are ‘when he says it like that it really does sound crazy. Deacon is here but he didn’t confirm nor deny my thoughts.’ 

“He claimed he didn’t know me. But those scars on his body, those were real I was there when those burns on his back were made.” She speaks again and I use Nates background without Avery to make up the cruelest of lies. 

“Deacon was a part of my regiment when we took back Anchorage. The man that you saw and you slept with is not the same person your delusions are leading you to believe he is!” I yell at her pushing her away, she spins to stare at me glaring as if she’s questioning everything that’s ever been said to her.

“I need to talk to Deacon.” She says and I can tell she’s feeling anxiety creep into her veins. 

“Go right ahead, in fact lets both go over there right now and see what he says.” I take her by her wrist once more and drag her out of the house until we are at that assholes door. Just as I was about to knock X6 opened the door leaving Deacons house his eyes narrowing as he passed me. 

“What’s going on? Let go of Avery you’re hurting her!” Deacon says pushing me away from Avery. 

“Get the fuck inside now!” I growl quietly towards both of them so none of the others have to see this. Avery walks behind Deacon rubbing her wrist. 

“What is going on?” He asks looking between us for a moment before examining Avery’s wrist to assure there is no damage.

“Tell me, did you know Avery before yesterday?” Deacon swallows hard his forest colored eyes dimming as he understands what’s about to happen.

“What’s this about?” I look up at him staring straight into his eyes as I reply flatly. 

“You had sex with my wife after only knowing her for not even an hour Deacon?” He rolls his eyes at me as Avery clings to his side. 

“You don’t understand anything.” He says his answers trying to remain neutral without giving me an answer and suddenly a though pops into my head. 

“Did he come inside you?” Avery looks up at me almost mortified as realization sets in. 

“We need to get you to a doctor… Do you truly enjoy going through this all over again?” I question as she begins to tremble her face becoming unbearably pale. 

“Come here, I’ll take you to get checked.” I whisper and she pulls away from Deacon walking towards me as the tears roll down her cheek. I wrap an arm around her. 

“Let’s go.” I call over my shoulder glaring at Deacon who has no idea what’s happening. He follows behind me getting in the back seat of the car as Avery purposely chooses the seat next to me. We are all quiet on the way to the hospital Doctor Li had set up down here.


	37. Trying to fix whats broken

Deacon

“It is confirmed miss Avery you are in fact pregnant.” The doctor said softly as Avery ran to the bathroom to throw up some more. I walked after her kneeling next to her to run a gentle hand down her back. “We will figure this out.” I murmur to her softly. 

“Please get out…. “She says and I stare at her confused as she pushes me out of the bathroom slamming the door in my face. I look over as Nate laughs, his shoulders are shaking and he’s covering his mouth. 

“Quite the mistake you’ve made. You should have just let it be me.” I glare at him grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. 

“What do you mean?” He smirks as he stares at the door behind me. 

“Avery always wanted a child. But she can’t have kids. That baby in her stomach is going to die. She knows that and so do I.” I shake my head confused.

“What? How did she have Shaun then?” Nate laughed again.

“Shaun isn’t hers, he belongs to me and Avery’s younger sister. After her sister died Avery pretended the affair didn’t happen. She took Shaun as her own after years of us not being able to conceive. Though she would get pregnant she would always have a miscarriage before the baby could be born.” Nate looked at me and that asshole had the nerve to look smug about this. 

“She’s going to hate you for making her go through this all over again, she won’t abort it now. She doesn’t have the heart to do it, even though she knows it won’t survive.” I fall to my knees staring at the ground, everything I had done was destined to fail from the beginning. The love of my life will hate me and our child will die. I feel the tears burning in my eyes as I think about it. The life we could have had slipping through my fingertips once more.

“When I told you that you would never truly have her I meant it. She’s going to run from you and crawl back to me. Because I’m her anchor her husband and the only man she’s ever truly loved.” He says before walking past me towards the bathroom door.

“You are only an imitation.” I say through gritted teeth as I look back at him. He only smiles softly as he knocks on the door hiding Avery from me, I watch because there isn’t much else I can do. 

“Go away! I don’t want to see you right now.” She screams through the door. 

“It’s me… Nate.” There’s a sound of shuffling in the other side of the door before a soft click of the lock being opened is heard. Nate opens the door stepping into the bathroom closing the door behind him shutting out Avery’s sobs. I blink the tears from my eyes, I step out of the hospital room. Doctor Li comes up to me staring at me confused. 

“Deacon, are you alright?” I nod smiling at her trying to fake the emotion as best I can. 

“Feeling great. Never better.” I whispered before walking past her outside. X6 was waiting for me at the glass doors of the hospital. 

“You got what you always wanted, what could possibly make you look so upset?” I look up at X6 and try not to break down. 

“She doesn’t want me; in the end I’m going to lose her.” X6 places a hand on my shoulder. 

“There’s a reason Nate is trying so hard to convince her that you aren’t her lover. That you aren’t the one she’s in love with, that its him and not you. He doesn’t love Avery, he’s afraid of what father will do if he fails. You can get her back just be there and understand her, she needs you not him. Don’t let him ruin what you have.” X6 murmurs softly before lighting up a cigarette. 

“Go back to her.” He says one more time and that’s the last push I need.” I head back to her room only to see that Nate had convinced her to leave the bathroom. They are seated on her hospital bed together; his arm is around her waist as he leans his forehead against the side of hers. His eyes dart in my direction as I take a deep breath trying my hardest not to let it get to me. 

“Avery, we should talk. Nate, would you please leave us.” I say it calmly but I am anything but. She looks at me with absolute disdain, but I won’t let her go… I can’t.

“He…he should stay.” When she says that I feel my heart ache. I watch as he whispers something into her ear before looking up at me with a smirk. 

“Who are you?” If I tell her the truth I will get her killed, if I lie… I will lose her. 

“I am Deacon Trevor; I was a part of Nates squad back when I was in the military.” Her eyes water as she places a hand over her mouth. X6 warned me about going along with this lie and I know I don’t have a choice. 

“So then you aren’t him… of course you aren’t. Deacon wouldn’t jump into bed with me that quickly. I don’t even really think he saw me that way… You can’t be him.” She says softly as a lone tear rolls down her cheek, Nate leans closer kissing the tear away. This is what happens when you begin to question your own being, she won’t be able to remember what my face looks like, she will dismiss the marks on my body. 

“I’m sorry for all of this. I thought you were someone else.” She muttered sounding tired and for the first time in her life defeated. 

“You don’t have to worry about the baby… It won’t survive longer than 6 months.” She says looking at the ground. 

“Doctor Li can save that baby if we tell her.” Nates eyes become that of ice. While Avery looks up at me confused. 

“There’s no way to fix what I have.” I shake my head kneeling down in front of her. 

“Ultimately the decision is yours but I guarantee that Doctor Li is competent enough to save our baby. We have to save our baby Avery.” I whisper placing a hand over her still completely flat stomach. She was trembling as she placed a hand over mine while Nate looked away in annoyance. 

“O-our baby?” She repeats looking down at her stomach as the tears finally come. 

“Yes Avery, our baby. You don’t love Nate, that much is obvious why stay? You can be with me and we can find a way to help our child survive.” She’s looking at me now, those beautiful steel colored eyes are blood shot and puffy but she still looks as beautiful as ever. 

“You are wrong. She is still in love with me.” Nate hisses standing forcing me to stand and face him. 

“She’s in love with the memory of you,” I growl dodging as he throws a punch at me. I dodge it catching his arm, I twist it behind his back until a grunt of discomfort leaves his lips. 

“Deacon please, stop. Hurting Nate won’t fix anything… But I want to give it a try. Give us a try.” Victory in its utmost absolute form. I wrap my arms around her as Nate grits his teeth before thinking everything through. 

“I’ll send the divorce papers to him then. I will set you free.” He whispers softly before slipping the real Nates ring off of his finger and placing it in her palm. He leaves slamming the door hard on his way out and Avery lets out a breath I assumed she had been holding. 

“I’m scared.” She murmurs running her hand over her stomach. 

“I won’t let you be alone through this. I love you Avery.” She blinks away the tears looking into my eyes. Hers narrow almost as if she were staring at something nostalgic, it’s almost like she wasn’t really seeing me.

“Love you too Deac.” She says standing as Doctor Li enters the room once more.

“I saw Nate leave… I can only assume the child isn’t his…” She says it not even seeming bothered by the fact that Avery could have cheated on her husband with me. 

“No, my child belongs to Deacon.” Doctor Li nods as she goes over to check Avery’s vitals once more. 

“Doctor Li, may I speak to you in private?” I question as she pulls away from Avery. 

“Of course Mr. Trevor.” She says leading me out of the office leaving Avery by herself on the bed. 

“Madison, Avery confided in me that something went wrong after she had Shaun with her body, she is unable to have children.” Madison stared at me like I was out of my mind. I won’t lie, it’s how I feel at this moment. 

“I need to have her examined immediately. If the child dies, father will have no use for her.” I place a hand on her shoulder stopping her from going to Avery. 

“She isn’t a lab rat Madison; she is the love of my life. That child inside her is mine, for the sake of our friendship… save them.” Her eyes widen sympathetically as she nods. 

“I will to the best of my abilities try to help her and the baby.” We walk back in together to see Avery laying on her side, her hair sprawled around her. 

“Avery… love, Doctor Li is here to examine you.” She turns to face us before forcing herself to sit back up. 

“Can you save my baby Doctor?” Madison smiles softly. 

“I will do what I can.” Avery nods seeming satisfied with the answer, she stands as Madison takes her hand ready to lead her to the examination room. “Don’t disappear on me again,” Avery whispers before passing me and I swear her words almost bring tears to my eyes. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, I love you sweetheart.” She smiles leaning forward to press a kiss to my lips. I wrap my arms around her as I press my lips back against hers. 

“love you Deac.” She mutters against my lips. She then pulls away nodding for a flustered Madison to lead the way. I seat myself on the bed watching as the head back towards the labs. Just when I’m about to relax X6 runs into the room panting as he looks around the room until his eyes land on me. 

“We have a problem; you have to handle it right now!” He says as he takes me by the wrist and drags me outside.

“Wait! Wait! I can’t just leave I promised Avery that I would be there when she gets out. X wait!” I hiss as he pushes me into the passenger seat of the car. 

“Fuck X! This can wait! I need to be there for Avery!” He gets in and immediately starts speeding until the hospital is being left behind us. 

“No it can’t. Miss Avery’s other companions stumbled upon us. Father doesn’t know yet. I am giving you a chance to handle it.” I freeze at his words looking over at him in the driver’s seat.

 

MacCready  
There is a man who looks like my twin blocking our way, he’s staring at me confused.

“What the hell is this place?!” Danse questions the man who only seems to frown. 

“This is Sanctuary, didn’t father send you…?” He says looking between us, we can only stare at each other before nodding.

“B93, A78. It’s about time you got here.” A familiar voice says drawing all of our attention to Deacon who is standing next to a guy in a courser uniform.

“Er, yeah, sorry it took us so long. It’s a bit of a hassle finding this place.” I say nudging Danse in the side causing him to nod. 

“Come on we are setting you up in the abandoned house down towards the bridge to Concord.” He says ushering us towards a car behind him. 

“Father didn’t tell me about this.” My double says glaring at Deacon. 

“Why should he tell you anything anymore? You failed remember? I won’t be surprised if he strips you for parts Nate.” Deacon says and I feel my heart race in my chest. This man… he is Nate… Avery’s husband. I feel the air being sucked from my lungs as I look back at him. He does look almost exactly like me… that’s why Avery often looked at me with eyes that were meant for him. 

“Nathan Moore?” I said his name softly catching everyone’s attention. 

“What?” He says a bit more hostile than he needs to be.

“Ignore him MacCready. We have more important things to do.” Deacons voice brings me back to reality once more. I shut my mouth walking towards Deacon who is looking at us like we have inconveniently arrived. He’s not in danger nor does he look like he’s been hurt.

“Get in the car.” I swallow hard looking towards Danse who also seems at a loss for words. We do as he asks and get in the back seat and drives us to a house at the end of a street. 

“This will be your home, stay here. Do not move until I come for you. If father finds out you are here, he will kill you.” He says placing a hand on Danses shoulder. 

“Deacon, we have a lot of questions.” He murmurs looking at Deacon with a sympathetic gaze. 

“I need to be somewhere but I promise you I will be back. I will explain everything when I get the chance…. Please… trust me.” Deacon is a liar, he always has been but these words don’t seem like a lie. If he wanted us dead or wanted to sell us out to the synths he would have taken us to father directly. 

“Fine, just answer one question. Is Avery alive and well?” Deacon’s smile is bittersweet as he looks up at Danse.

“Yeah, she is. I promise I will arrange a meeting when I can.” I feel relief flood through my veins, I bite my lip to keep my emotions in check. 

“Thank you, don’t let us keep you any longer. We will stay here and wait for your return.” Danse says and I nod agreeing with him while Deacon looks to the man behind me.

“Now get me back to the fucking hospital X.” He sounds beyond angry and I am happy its not directed towards us. We watch as they leave before looking at our new home for the time being. It looks so clean! Every single thing in the house has no sign of having been through nuclear fallout.

“MacCready! Come here!” Danse calls me from what I assume is the kitchen. I make my way over there to see him standing in front of the fridge that is filled with prewar food. We both stare at each other in shock. 

“What fuc-freaking gold mine have we stumbled into?” I say as Danse nods confused. I walk into the bathroom and turn the handle of the shower to see its fully working. 

“Let’s enjoy this place while we have it!” I call out to Danse as I strip off my clothes. I don’t hear his reply as I step underneath the warm spray of water. I feel myself shiver as the temperature burns my skin for only a moment before returning to normal. I look down to see all the dirt and grime being washed away from my body. I heard the door to the bathroom open for a moment followed by some shuffling before it closed again. 

I ignored it, it was probably Danse taking a look at the bathroom. I sat in the shower until my skin began to prune and finally I had enough. I stepped out looking at myself in the clear mirror, I ran my hands over the stubble on my chin. I opened the mirror to find a razor, I used it to shave away the beard I had growing for the past couple months. When I looked in the mirror I really did look like him. I can’t shake the thought of her affection coming from the fact that we look so much alike. I look down to see a towel that Danse had most likely left for me followed by some clothes. They were just regular clothes, something I hadn’t worn in a long time. 

I pulled the t-shirt over my head and slipped on the jeans before heading back out to the living room where Danse was. I see him lying on his back on the floor just staring up at the ceiling.

“You okay?” I question as I sit down next to him on the floor. “I’m confused, so confused by all of this. The brotherhood of steel doesn’t have nearly much technology even after all the years we’ve strived to get it. I feel like we are just being used to take over the commonwealth one city at a time. Technology isn’t what is destroying the commonwealth…. It’s us.” Danse says covering his face with his hands. 

“Try not to think about it. Our sole focus is Avery right now. Once we get her we can worry about Father and the brotherhood of steel.” Danse nods sticking his hand in my direction. I sigh taking it and using it to pull him off of the floor and onto his feet.

“Go shower.” He doesn’t say anything as he heads for the door I had just come out of. I sit against the foot of the couch. I could see the sky darkening which was strange because I could swear we were under ground. I hear a knock on the door and look back towards the direction Danse went with a sigh. I open the door to see him again, Avery’s husband. I suck in a deep breath before opening the door wider so he could enter. 

“So this is where Deacon plans to keep you.” He says softly looking around the house for a moment. 

“Could I ask what you are doing here?” I say leaning against the door. 

“Just shear curiosity, it seems like you know me and yet I have no memories of you? So how is it that you know me?” I looked up at him narrowing my eyes. 

“How could I not know about the man who looks just like me? You are Avery’s husband.” His eyes widen then fill with disgust. 

 

“So it wasn’t just Deacon… You too? How many others has she been with?” I glare at him. 

“Don’t you dare disrespect her, She’s better than you and all of us!” I growl grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

“I don’t see anything good about her, she can’t even stay faithful to her own husband. Tell me was she with you before she went and fucked Deacon?” I swallowed hard, so she had been with Deacon while she was here. 

“She doesn’t belong to anyone, If she wants to be with all of us then we would be happy to oblige her. She’s kind and beautiful, she’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me and I will be damned if I let a worthless asshole like you bad mouth her.” I don’t even bother to refrain from swearing, this guy is a real jerk I’m surprised that Avery was able to put up with him.

“What’s going on?” Danse questions as he walks out of the bathroom. 

“Nothing, Nate was just leaving.” I say walking to the door and opening it wide for him to step out.

“She won’t ever love any of you, not while she’s too busy mourning me.” I slam the door hard in his face and try not to grit my teeth. 

“What?” Danse questions looking over at me.

“That fucking asshole is Avery’s husband.” Danse laughs a bit uncomfortably.

“Avery told me her husband was dead.” I nod running a hand through my hair.

“I think he’s a synth, after all Avery’s son happens to be the director of the institute. I wouldn’t put it past him to have created this place. Especially if Deacon and Avery are here with him.” Danse sat down looking at his hands. 

“That man is… the man she chose to share her forever?” I place a hand on his shoulder. 

“What the hell are we doing here? Why are we looking for her. She must be perfectly content here, I feel so stupid. I was here falling so hard all by myself. I was willing to look past Hancock, past Deacon… Even you. But her husband? I can’t compare with him.” I understood where he was coming from and I felt it in the core of my soul. The feeling of being undeserving but still willing to try as hard as I can for her.

“We all love her Danse! We cant give her up because that man doesn’t deserve her! The things he said about her… we cant let him win…” I whisper feeling my heart aching in my chest. Danse doesn’t say word but then again I don’t expect him to.


	38. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who are still keeping up with the story and sorry its taken me a while to update i haven't had the motivation to continue this story lately. That being said i hope you enjoy please leave me a review if you would like thanks again! <3

Deacon  
I forced X6 to speed through the town until the hospital was in sight, I was almost relieved to see Danse and MacCready but at the same time I’m worried about how she will react to them. I feel nervous and uncomfortable with the thought. When we get there X6 parks next to the entrance while I dash out the door to see Avery in the lobby. 

She looks absolutely exhausted; I feel so guilty for having left her at all. I don’t bother to restrain myself, today has been a long day for the both of us. I wrap my arms around her pulling her against me as tightly as I can. She sighs softly and I feel a small thwack against my forehead. I pull back away from here rubbing the offending spot realizing she flicked me on the forehead. 

“You are late.” I feel even more guilty as I lean my head against hers. 

“I’m sorry love there were some things that needed my attention. But I’m here now.” She nods rubbing her eyes in exhaustion.

“Take me home, I just want to sleep.” I sweep her off her feet making her look at me confused for a moment before I begin carrying her towards the car. I’m barely finished seating her inside the back seat of the car when Madison calls out to me from the glass doors of the hospital. I glance at Avery who shoos me away, I jog over to Madison who is slightly frowning.

“What’s wrong Madison, Is my baby alright…?” I question feeling anxiety ripple through my whole being. She shakes her head. 

“No Avery and the baby are both stable right now but father… he not only met with her but requested a memory wipe from her days in the commonwealth. I had to do it, I’m sorry I was unable to consult it with you.” I feel my heart sink as I look back towards the car. Just as Danse and MacCready have reappeared… how am I going to explain this to them… to her…. I sink my teeth into my lower lip as I taste blood as artificial as It may be. 

“Thank you for the heads up Madison.” She nods a frown gracing her lips.

“I’m sorry.” I only place a hand on her shoulder before turning back towards the car and sliding into the seat next to her. By this time her eyes are drooping and she’s already falling into unconsciousness. I wrap an arm around her holding her to me as X drives us home. I just close my eyes not saying a word, I have to face Danse and MacCready tomorrow. 

I have to let them meet Avery and I don’t know how the hell this is going to work out and I won’t lie I’m dreading every damn second. Avery was already passed out by the time we got home, I thanked X6 for all his help before carrying her inside and laying her on the bed to rest. I left a note next to her bed side explaining that I had gone for a walk. I head out of the house locking it behind me as I head for the house at the end of the street. I knocked on the door waiting until MacCready pulled the door open with tired eyes, his eyes widened as he saw me.

“Come in Deac.” I smiled as I stepped inside to see Danse and MacCready had brought down the mattresses from their rooms and laid them in front of the couch.

“Hey, how you guys liking the new house?” The both look at each other before staring at me. 

“It’s strange… but we are adjusting…. Where is Avery?” I swallow hard ushering them to the couch.

“She’s resting in my house right now Danse. I came talk to you about what’s happened since we left. Let’s sit down… shall we?” The nod both sitting on the couch, I sit on the recliner facing them. 

“Why aren’t we allowed to see Avery yet?” MacCready questions softly. I can’t help but sigh and decide to give them the truth, they deserve at least that.

“Avery has no memories of the commonwealth. I… She’s also pregnant.” They look at me like I’m fucking insane.

“What the hell do you mean?” MacCready is standing now stomping over to me pulling me to my feet by the collar of my shirt.

“I mean it the way I said it… Father took her memories and I’m not allowed to tell her otherwise he will kill her and the baby.” Macready’s hand loosens as he clenches his fists. 

“Who is the father?” Danse questions looking over at us with a tired face. “I am.” Their jaws drop and Danse is shaking his head.

“there’s no way. You are a synth…” I nod agreeing with both statements. 

“Father has my original body, he inserted those reproductive organs inside me, meaning I can have children. Avery and I were at the hospital earlier and it was confirmed that she truly is pregnant.” Danse closes his eyes rubbing his forehead as though he can’t believe what the fuck is happening.

“Are synths already that fucking advanced?” He said it under his breath but I still heard him. 

“Tomorrow you can meet with her, we can all go out to eat or something, but you cannot mention the commonwealth or how you know her. You will say you were in the military with Nate and I.” MacCready rolled his eyes.

“Not that asshole again.” His wording threw me off again, sure he had met Nate but they didn’t even have time to speak to one another before I got there.

“Again?” I questioned while MacCready looked at his hands.

“Yeah, he came to the house and tried talking to us. Part of me wondered why the hell Avery chose to marry him.” I shrugged.

“He was a different person when he was human, but both of them were dicks. As it also turns out Shaun isn’t Avery’s biological son, she’s actually his aunt.” That clicked immediately for them.

“That asshole was having an affair with her sister?” I nodded as Danse buried his face in his hands. 

“Can I kill him?” Danse questions finally lifting his face. 

“I doubt Avery would be happy about that, but If she ever agrees to it I’ll let you know.” They both chuckled at that, I smiled at our companions. 

“So we can meet with her tomorrow?” I nodded unsure of what I would tell Avery.

“Yeah just no telling her anything about the commonwealth.” The both managed to give me a smile. 

“Anything to see her again.” Danse mutters laying his head back on the couch.

“there is something we all need to discuss as well.” They look at me confused for a moment thinking we had already talked about everything we needed. 

“We may need to have this conversation again when we leave this place, but for now I know we all have feelings for Avery, I’m not blind to the fact that she returns those feelings for all of us. I don’t intend to force her to remain with just me. If she wants to be with the both of you as well, I’m not opposed to that. I just want what will make Avery the happiest.” The both look outright embarrassed with what I’ve just said.

“In this place I’ve been given the role of Avery’s caretaker, there are things I simply can’t do. If father finds out you are here, he’d kill all of us no doubt. So we have to be careful. Do you mind telling me how you found this place?” They look at each other for a moment. 

“We brought the brotherhood of steel in to help us find out where you went after the tracker stopped showing your location. We were being chased by a courser, we didn’t have anywhere to run into but a fallout shelter that also seemed to be an elevator into this place. That guy who you were with earlier was the one who found us, told us to wait while he went to talk to you. A few minutes before you got there Nate found us.” MacCready says crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I wonder what the hell Nate was doing up there in the first place.” They both shrugged while I stood up. “I should head back and make sure Avery hasn’t woken up be ready bright and early we can all go have a picnic or something tomorrow so you can see Avery.” They grinned nodding as they also stood to see me out. 

“It’ll be a great day, see you then Deacon.” MacCready says waving as I leave their home. 

Hancock 

 

“It turns out Deacon hasn’t been seen since he went to find Avery. Then I got word that MacCready and Danse also disappeared in Sanctuary…” I felt my blood boiling as Nick spoke. 

“They had to have found her.” I mutter looking over at the old synth detective who sat across from me. 

“Sarah Lyons, an old friend of MacCready’s hired me to find them. She’s taking care of MacCready’s son while he returns from wherever he and Danse got into.” Nick says and I can feel a headache coming on. 

“We need to go to Sanctuary, I will find her myself. I can’t let anything happen to her.” Nick stood nodding in agreeance. 

“Get your things ready so we can head to Sanctuary.” Nick says and I hold back a sigh, I’m not a fan of the synth but I’m going to need help if I want to find Avery. 

“Thank you for relaying the information… Avery hadn’t come to see me in a while but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about her.” Nick looked away and I could tell I wasn’t the only one. 

“Yeah she’s a real charmer.” Nick says his lips turning up in a fond smile. 

“Let me get my things from the statehouse, meet me up by the exit.” Nick nods to me and heads out of the third rail. I follow behind him leaving his side only when we get to the house I called my own. When I head inside Fahrenheit is standing by the door staring at me.

“Since when are you friends with that synth from Diamond city?” I look past her to my items scattered on my bed, I was already planning the trip despite Nick tagging along. 

“Since he’s one of Avery’s companions.” I mutter grabbing a pack and throwing all of my weapons inside along with a few necessities. 

“Do you plan to go alone?” She questions and I sigh sitting on the bed looking up at her. 

“I need you to handle things for me here.” She nods before stepping forward until she’s standing between my legs, I look up at her confused as she leans down and presses her lips to mine. I only close my eyes enjoying the feeling. It’s been a while since she shows me affection of any sort, around the time that Avery and I spent the night together. When I open my eyes, I find myself looking into her eyes and she looks undeniably sad. 

“You really do love her don’t you?” I only smile up at her. 

“More than my own life, I need to see her again.” She nods placing a hand on my cheek for a moment. 

“I truly hope she can make you happy.” With that she steps out of my room without another word. I gather the rest of my things and head out to find Nick standing by the exit.   
````  
You wouldn’t think that three days with Nick would be so fucking quiet, neither of us hardly spoke the whole way there. Finally, when we reached Sanctuary I felt like killing someone, the damn place was riddled with brotherhood assholes. They all looked at us like we were a fucking plague, Nick gave me an irritated glace as we reached the person who hired him. “This is the …. Person… you needed to find?” The woman doesn’t hide her disgust and I swear that I want to beat the shit out of her and her friends but I refrain. Unfortunately, we need these guys to get to Avery. “Yes, he is and I can guarantee that any information that courser has he can get it out of him.” I look up in surprise. 

“An interrogation? That’s why you brought me?” Nick looks apologetic but I only grin, It’s been too fucking long since I’ve tortured someone. 

“Where is he? If he knows where Avery is, he will fucking tell me.” The woman nods leading us to a house where there’s a man in a black uniform looking at the wall like it’s something interesting to look at. 

“So, I hear you know where my companion is, mind telling me where I can find her?” I question looking at the synth who finally acknowledges my presence. 

“Father does not want her to be found.” It says looking at me while I sigh. 

“Then tell me where is Deacon?” It looks up at me as I grab a knife from my pack. 

“Deacon is with her.” It seems to be answering my questions but if I want straight answers this thing may have to bleed. 

“Where would that be?” I question lifting the knife so he can see it. He doesn’t flinch as I bring it to his cheek he only gives a look of discomfort when I drag the blade down his skin cutting into it. Nick looks utterly uncomfortable as I continue moving to its throat. 

“Tell me what I need to know or you will die.” He looks at with defiant eyes.

“I would gladly die for father.” I rolled my eyes pulling up a chair and turning it so I could lean my arms on the back of it. 

“You think father cares about one synth?” That gets his attention. 

“You are wrong! Father cares about all of us!” It growls back straining against its bindings.

“one synth to a man that owns an institute that creates them? You aren’t special.” I say softly watching its face morph into one of anger. 

“Father hand picks coursers, we matter to him. I don’t understand why you want Deacon so bad if he’s a courser like me. He’s one of us.” The bastard has the never to smirk at me. 

“Actually, have you come in contact with the railroad? How many of their safe houses do you think we’ve taken. He gave them up… his own people.” I swallow hard as I look over Nick who looks absolutely mortified. 

“That can’t be, I have to find Dez.” Nick says as he panics, I place a hand on his shoulder.

“I have a better idea; we don’t need him. We will do to him what we did to Kellogg.” Nick blinks in surprise. “I’ll get a hold of Fahrenheit and have her ready Amari.” Nick nods as the blonde haired woman from before gets inside.

“If you want to help MacCready you are going to keep your mouth shut about what we are about to do. You will tell your leader that the synth escaped and that we went after him.” I say and she frowns looking up to Nick. 

“Please Sarah, it’s the only way to get MacCready back to his son.” Nick pleads while I stare her down, I’m more than ready to kill her if she doesn’t agree to our plan. The synth hasn’t said a word he only stares between us curiously.

“I…okay, just bring him back.” She mutters looking pained. “I need you to disable him.” I say as she looks at us like were crazy. 

“Sarah I promise we will get everything we need, just disable it.” Nick says looking absolutely tired. She sighs walking up behind the synth she sticks her hand out for the knife I was still holding. I place it in her hands and finally the synth has had enough and it starts screaming and thrashing. Nick and I have to hold it still as Sarah works. When she’s finished I cut its head from its shoulders and throw it in a spare pack. Nick frowns looking at the head uncomfortably. 

“You can keep the rest.” I say to Sarah whose jaw dropped. 

“We will be back within a week maybe sooner it all depends.” I say looking to Nick. 

“Take a vertibird it will get you to where you need to go faster. I will give you Danse’s old team to use at your disposal since they are the closest to Avery and MacCready among us.” I’m not a fan about having to work with the fucking brotherhood but it seems I have no choice. 

“Yeah whatever. Let’s get this over with.” I say as we get ready to head back to Good neighbor.   
\---

“Again Nick? I thought I explained why I didn’t want to do this last time.” I stare at Amari who is absolutely refusing us. “Amari, Avery is missing and if you don’t hurry up and help us you might go missing too.” I growl at the woman who looks at me with startled eyes. 

“I…uh… yes Mayor Hancock.” She mutters taking the head from Nick. “You remember how this worked last time, you’ll have to get into the memory lounger mayor.” I sighed heading into the lounger next to Nick. This place looks so strange, it’s like a platform of brain cells allowing me to walk through that synths memories.

“Now Mayor be careful, we are looking for any memories attached to Avery and her companions so I am going to try and narrow it down.” I don’t say anything I just wait until a bridge for me is created and when it is, I feel sick. The first memory is of Avery locked in that cryo chamber. I get closer placing a hand on the tube and stare at her unmarred face. She was wearing the same vault suit I had met her in.

“We should continue mayor, I found another memory.” Amari says softly as I continue on my way. I see Deacon wearing a courser uniform wearing his shades, though his face looks different I can tell its him. He’s standing next to another courser who he keeps calling X6 joking and laughing with him. I only sighed as I continued onward until we reached the memory of him shooting at MacCready and Danse. They ran into a fallout shelter for protection while the courser kept shooting at them. They didn’t emerge when Sarah had captured him. 

“Get me out.” I call back to Amari who is already readying my exit from that synths mind. Nick sits up next to me rubbing the top of his head. 

“Well that wasn’t as painful the second time as the first.” Nick says as he offers me a hand and helps me out of the memory lounger.

“My head feels like it’s on fucking fire.” I groan as Amari hands me a stimpack.


	39. letting go is hard to do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really dislike this chapter but we are almost back to the commonwealth and missions once again for anyone still reading

Danse  
We were already sitting in the park waiting for Deacon and Avery to arrive. I can’t deny that I feel nervous, I’ve missed her more than I care to admit. I still don’t know what to feel about the fact that Deacon is going to have a family with her. I’m shocked… but more than anything I’m disappointed. He did so much to hurt her only to end up being the one she chooses to have a family with? But even then, Deacon had said that she doesn’t remember anything about the commonwealth, and she still chose him.

I’m broken from my thoughts when I see MacCready’s face flush. I turn over and there she is walking this way; I feel my heart racing in my chest as I take in her appearance. Her maroon hair is cascading over her waist, she’s wearing a beautiful black prewar dress. Her lips are painted red and her eyes have small wings of black fanning over her eyelashes. She looks stunning, I see her freeze as she catches sight of MacCready and I, we both stand looking over at her. 

Deacon is whispering something in her ear as he gently pushes her forward until she’s standing in front of us. I watch her as the tears well up in her eyes and I cant help but feel the same sting in my own eyes, without a single word being exchanged she wraps her arms around our necks pulling us into a hug that we don’t deny. I hold her close for a moment reveling in the warmth I feel for the first time in a long time. Deacon stands watching as she pulls away from the both of us. “I’m sorry about that, heh, it must be the pregnancy hormones.” She murmurs wiping her eyes.

“Its alright who doesn’t like hugs right?” MacCready responds with a gentle smile. We all laugh softly while Deacon helps her sit down, we watch as Deacon gets the food out for our picnic. 

“Deacon told me you were in his and Nates squad in the military.” Avery says softly looking between us I assume waiting for an introduction.

“Yes we were, I am Jason Danse.” I said offering her my hand which she shyly took. “Yeah it was quite a while back, I’m Robert Joseph MacCready, It’s nice to meet you.” He says offering her his hand and even despite her reaction to looking at our faces our names struck no chord with her. “So how long have you guys known each other?” She questions looking between the three of us. 

“Well Deacon and I have known each other since we were kids.” MacCready says offering the information that surprises me but not Deacon. “Back in DC, that little brat was you? I thought you looked familiar.” Deacon muttered under his breath. MacCready rolls his eyes. 

“Danse here was a last minute addition to our team, but hes very devoted.” MacCready says with a smile while I try not to flush at Avery’s intense staring. “What about you? Since when have you and Deacon….” I ask the question trailing off as her expression becomes distant. “Awhile.” Is the only response I receive as she entwines her fingers with his. 

“So celebrations are in order from what we hear!” MacCready jumps back into the conversation sounding very up beat, but I cant help feeling confused and a little disheartened. This woman certainly looks like Avery, but the woman we loved is gone and that alone was enough to crush my hopes. I was happy to see her but not like this, not when we can stand in front of her and she wont see us. See the people who love her more than anything in this goddamn world. I couldn’t stand the smiles she would give MacCready every time he spoke. This isn’t Avery, our companion, our friend. 

This person is just being polite for Deacon. I swallowed hard, trying not to grit my teeth. I want to go home, I want to go back to my people. I don’t want to go through this loss not after cutler, never again. I stood causing everyone to look at me confused. 

“I cant do this, im sorry.” I refrained from saying anything more before walking away. From behind me I could hear them calling after me. I get to the bridge that leads to sanctuary before a hand caught my wrist and stopped me in my tracks. I felt my heart shutter in my chest, I knew instantly who it was stopping me. I turned to see Avery holding the sleeve of my leather jacket, while Deacon and MacCready stood a few feet back from us. I see her suck in a deep breath as she looks at me almost as if searching for an explanation.

I open my mouth but quickly realize that its useless, a lump has formed in my throat and I cant stop the tear that rolls down my cheek. I can only stare at her, she looks distressed as she stares at me.

“Why?” Is the only word she can say as she slowly reaches up and swipes the tear from under my eye with her thumb. I cant answer, even if I could what could I say? I slide my hands up to her upper arms and pull her close until I can press my forehead against hers. She doesn’t try to free herself, she only allows me to take the comfort I need even though she doesn’t remember me. 

“I’m sorry.” My voice is hoarse and I feel like my heart is breaking in two. When I open my eyes to meet her stormy grey, I feel the loss tenfold. “I have no excuse.” She is on the verge of tears, tears for a person she cant remember. “I have to go home. Be safe Avery and your child be healthy and as beautiful as you.” I murmur placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before pulling away and heading back towards the house. I gathered my pack and some extra prewar things I had found lying around to have the brotherhood look over them.

“DANSE!” This time its Deacon who comes after me, but I ignore him as I gather all my items before looking up at him. “Why? I thought you wanted to see her? Why do this?” I swallow the lump in my throat starting to feel numb from my decision. 

“That woman isn’t Avery, she walks around with her face, but until she remembers who she is, she will never be the woman I fell in love with.” Deacon looks away from my gaze. “You may be able to throw the fact that she doesn’t remember you aside but I cant, I cant love someone who cant even remember me. I feel as though I’m taking advantage of her.” Deacons eyes are hidden behind his shades but his mouth is set in a firm line. “Take me home, I want to go home!” I yelled at him grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. He places a hand over mine and nods, I loosen my grip letting him go. 

“Ill tell Avery and MacCready to wait for me.” I let him walk out the door following him to see Avery and MacCready standing outside looking at me with sad expressions. I watch as he relays the news only to have Avery finally break into tears. Finally, he comes to my side as he walks me through the town until we reach the small bridge to the elevator where the exit is. “please remember what I said this place is to remain a secret… for her sake.” I only nodded. 

“So you’re sending him back already? I knew father didn’t send for him…” We both froze at the sound of Nates voice coming from behind us. “How about we make a deal?” That bastard sounds smug as he looks between Deacon and I.

“What the fuck do you want Nate?” Deacon growls in frustration. 

“I want to go with him, I’ve never seen the wasteland, I feel like its more suited to me than life in this boring place. I stared at Avery’s ex-husband for a moment in surprise. 

“Why would you want to come with me?” I question causing Nate to roll his eyes. “Living in peace doesn’t suit me, the man whose memories I own loved violence and I want to belong to a world with that violence.” I feel like this is going to be the worst decision of my life. “let him come with me.” Deacon looks at me in shock, I can feel it as he fidgets with his watch. 

“Fine.” Nate smirks while Deacon places a hand on my shoulder. 

“Safe travels my friend.” I can’t say anything to him I don’t want to, I only follow behind Nate as we both enter the elevator. We both step inside allowing it to take us back up to the surface. We both avoid looking at each other as we endure the ride. I feel empty inside; I don’t want to feel a thing because its more than painful. The doors open and the familiar wasteland greets us, I sigh as I step out heading down the hill towards Sanctuary. 

“Hey! Wait!” Nate calls from behind me, I stop looking over my shoulder at him as he runs to catch up with me. 

“What could you possibly want?” I question as he continues his pace with mine. “I’m sticking with you until I figure out how this place works.” I just sighed and instantly I was enveloped into a hug. I looked up to see Sarah Lyons hugging me as tightly as she possibly could. “Maxon he’s back!” She yelled causing my superior to appear from another home in the area. 

“Did you find Knight Avery?” He questioned causing my already aching heart to tear a bit more. “What I found was a woman who had no memories of the brotherhood of steel, a woman who was more than content to live her life with her future husband and child.” I try to sound strong only to hear Nate click his tongue in annoyance.

“Who is he?” Maxon questions as he looks at the new addition to the town.

“Nathan Moore, Knight Avery’s ex-husband.” I say walking past them not bothering to say anymore. “Where do you think you are going tin can? Where’s Avery?” I sigh coming face to face with Nick Valentine and Hancock. “Ask him I say nodding over to Nate who looks at me like im out of my goddamn mind. 

“Hey!” Nate hisses as Nick walks up to him ready to question him while I decide I need a goddamn break.


	40. Brotherhood of steel

Nate  
Paladin Danse had left me with what looked like a prototype synth and the other guy I have no idea what he is. I had stayed in Sanctuary while they interrogated me. Nick said once that he was a ghoul earning a glare from him, after they had gotten the information they wanted out of me they decided not to go after her. That ghoul looked like he wanted to die when he heard that she’s having Deacons baby. But I don’t blame him, I can tell that he was in love with her. 

Maybe all of them were, I understood why. Avery was an amazing girl, but I and my human counterpart weren’t in love with her. He only loved the fact that she looked like her younger sister. I think that is what had drove him to stay with her despite the affairs. But everything that had happened we all let it happen and I suppose that was our own problem. I hadn’t been back to where Deacon and Avery were since everything that happened, I really wasn’t up to seeing them. 

I may not love Avery but that doesn’t mean I’m not jealous that she’s happy with that asshole. I managed to stop Danse before he and his friends had left back to their base at the Boston airport. I managed to convince him to take me back with him, he wasn’t fond of the idea of having to lie to elder Maxon but part of him understood where I was coming from. Despite his long rants about hating me and thinking im a total asshole we took MacCready’s son with us back to our home. Duncan had been forced to bunk with me since Danse didn’t want anything to do with children after his loss of Avery. I don’t blame him, but it was nice to have a child even if it wasn’t mine. I often wondered what would have happened had Shaun grown with Avery and I, It kills me to think that she and I ended up raising that monster. Then again, I suppose it is my Karma for everything I had done to her. 

I sighed softly, it had been 6 months already since everything that had happened, I ended up going back with Danse to join a military group called the brotherhood of steel. I was doing great until they came back, I had been out on a mission with Paladin Danse my new sponsor into the brotherhood. Right now we were checking into one of the knights who had apparently been stealing supplies… Like seriously? No one caught this earlier even though this guy has been taking tons and tons of supplies. Duncan was by my side when X6 interrupted as they intercepted my radio and called a meeting with me just outside Libertalia. 

“Knight! Knight, are you there!” Danse’s voice called through the radio obviously realizing that the radio systems had been jammed. Duncan looked at me confused as I grabbed my radio, I gave him a reassuring smile that he returned. 

“Yes! I’m here but there’s something I must do. I will be out for a while Danse I promise we can figure this out when I get back! I’m also taking Duncan.” I call back into the radio. 

“Really Nate!? You can’t wait until we finish the mission? What could be that important?” He questions sounding thoroughly annoyed. “I know, I know but this can’t wait. I promise we will be back soon, don’t kill anyone without me!” I called back hearing an exasperated sigh on the other line. 

“I don’t know why I agreed to put up with you.” Danse says it playfully and I cant help but laugh. “You secretly enjoy being able to out drink me!” Danse laughs at that making me smile. 

“Yeah, Yeah, Ill cover for you. Come back soon.” He calls back one last time before I shut it off and looking at my map to see which way we would have to head out to get there.   
````````````````````````````````````````````````````  
The whole fucking way was stressful, but protecting Duncan was the only thing on my mind. I had saved him from a few super mutants and mirelurks. When we got there X6 was standing there and next to him was her… I was almost sure of it. It was Avery. For being 7 months pregnant her stomach was toned and flat. I could almost guess what happened.

Her expression was that of stone, cold and emotionless. But even then, she looked different her hair had gotten much longer, curling out around her hips. It was dyed a darker red color than the one she used back before the war I could even swear that she had facial reconstructive surgery. But I could tell instantly this woman was my wife those grey eyes would always give her away. I couldn’t lie she left me absolutely breathless. 

“X6, Avery what a pleasant surprise.” I say watching as her gray eyes narrow at me before flicking to the side to Duncan next to me. Her eyes widen as she picks out the similarities between him and her MacCready. “Hey there love, I’m Avery, what’s your name?” She sends me a glare before stepping closer to Duncan who hides behind my leg. 

“It’s okay kid she’s friendly.” I say nudging Duncan forward to meet Avery. “Hello Miss, I’m Duncan.” She smiles as she kneels in front of the child.

“Its nice to meet you.” She says shaking his hand. “Ma’am” X6 questioned looking over at her. She immediately straightened looking up at me, silently saying we needed to speak alone. 

“Duncan why don’t you and X6 go look at the raiders in Libertalia.” I say watching as the boy walked up to X6 taking his hand as they head towards Libertalia. She walked forward her eyes scanning my new uniform and haircut. 

“Looks like you made yourself fit in within the brotherhood quite well.” It’s not a question but I nod. “I will be joining them once more, I need them if I am going to finish this.” She speaks softly but with so much conviction I can’t help but give her my utmost attention.

“Finish what exactly?” she looks over at the direction X6 went with Duncan.

“I plan to destroy the institute.” I shiver as her eyes seem colder than before almost as if they have frozen over. 

“You plan to use the brotherhood to your advantage?” She nods looking at me as if in question.

“You want my help, don’t you?” She smiles but there is nothing comforting about it unlike before. 

“It’s that or I can kill you.” She speaks the words so seriously that I have no doubt shed murder me if I said no. I swallow hard and shake my head making her grin.

“Good, you will reintroduce me into the brotherhood. Say you found me on a mission, make something up I don’t care.” She gives me a look that has me reeling, I cant stop myself as I step forward wrapping my arms around her waist. 

“Its been too long.” I can feel her swallow hard against my shoulder as she curls into the familiar embrace. 

 

She’s clutching on to me like I’m a life line and letting go would destroy her. Part of me didn’t want to let go, I only pulled back to stare at her face. I ran my fingers down her cheek, she leaned into my touch. I felt my artificial heart racing in my chest as she held me. Those big grey eyes they reminded me of Aviana. Her hair even her face matched that of her sister, the woman who had bewitched my human counterpart. She doesn’t try to pull away, she just looks at me from under her raven lashes. I feel my breath hitch as she leans loser kissing my cheek. 

“You should get going Ma’am, I will come find you if father has need of you.” X6’s voice startles us and breaks us apart from our hold. 

“Thank you.” She murmurs as Duncan runs back to me taking my hand. She looks at him genuinely thankful. He disappears using the teleporter while I’m left with my ex-wife and her lovers son. What the hell am I getting myself into? I turned my radio back on with a sigh.

“Hey Danse, you aren’t going to believe who I found.” There’s a long silence before he answers. 

“Do I want to know?” Avery looks uncomfortable but says nothing. 

“I found Avery.” This time the silence is longer than before. 

“I’m coming back.” She says taking the radio from me. 

“Are you sure that is what you want knight? A child in the brotherhood can be a lot to handle.” He says and I can hear the strain in his voice. 

“The only child here is Duncan.” She repeats causing us all to hear the breath Danse takes in. 

“I will see you when you return with Nate then knight.” She doesn’t say anything just looks at the radio sadly before handing it back to me.

“Shall we head back?” She nods not bothering to speak again. 

 

Danse  
I swear when I heard her voice over the radio I couldn’t believe it, I sat in my bunk anxiously awaiting their return. Nate appeared in front of me and behind him was Avery talking with Duncan. When I saw her all my emotions came back full force. She looked up at me, this time she knew who I was unlike our last meeting. She smiled softly waving at me. Nate moved aside so I could go to her, but I didn’t. I couldn’t, this was the only shot to fix our relationship. She was my subordinate and I her commanding officer, If Maxon found out what I felt it wouldn’t be good. I was already lying to him about Nate and he despises synths, if he wasn’t doing such a good job I would have thrown him out a long time ago.

I raised a hand to wave back at her as Nate leaned against the door looking up at me. “I was expecting a tear-filled reunion to be honest. Not whatever this is.” He says while I half-heartedly glare at him.

“Shut up Nate.” Avery says the words for me as she steps into the room. I know that my hands are shaking with need as she stands before me. 

“It really is good to see you again Danse.” She murmurs while Nate slips out of the door. 

“Well I can tell when I’m not wanted. Don’t have sex in my room!” He calls out as he leaves waving over his shoulder as he laughs.

“Nate!” Avery hisses glaring at his back as he heads towards Duncan.

“What’s sex?” The boy asks causing Nate to laugh even harder. I bite my lip trying to keep from laughing though I don’t succeed. Avery turns back to me looking pleasantly surprised.

“What happened to my up-tight commanding officer? It seems like you’ve finally let yourself be you.” She says it and I don’t feel offended, I know what I was like when I first met her. 

“I blame most of my changes on you and your ex-husband, he’s been quite the help around here. He’s also taken very well to Duncan, which reminds me… Where is MacCready?” She looks down at the floor almost as if it pains her to remember. 

“We split up, I don’t doubt he is drinking himself blind in Sanctuary or back at Good neighbor.” I frown at that wondering what could have separated him from her side.

“We should get in contact with him, god knows he’s going to hate me for taking his son with me when we left.” Avery only nods as she sees Nate carrying the boy on his shoulders throughout the Prydwen. 

“Do I want to know what happened to Deacon?” her eyes flare at his name and her whole demeanor changes into something else entirely. Betrayal that’s the emotion she’s experiencing all over again. 

“Let’s not talk about him.” She says swallowing her emotions back while putting a fake smile on her face, as if she believes that I won’t see through it. “I’m also sorry to say that you will have to go meet with Maxon and see what he wants to do with you now that you’ve returned.” She nods in understanding heading out to seek Maxon herself. I follow behind her because I don’t want Maxon to get angry and do something irrational. When we find him hes staring out the window in his room, he looks a little more than irritated when we step into his room.

“Paladin, what is the meaning of…. This.” He says the last word as whisper as he catches sight of Avery. 

“We found knight Avery, Nate and I.” Maxon’s eyes are wide as he takes in her appearance. 

“Knight… you returned after your visit with the institute.” Her expression hardens as he says the word.

“You will be debriefed about everything you saw. I want to know everything about this mysterious father and who he is.” Maxon says and I try my hardest not to flinch. 

“The director of the institute is my son Shaun.” My head turns towards her so fast I feel a twinge in my neck.

“This is not a funny joke Knight.” Maxon says glaring at her while she remains with an impassive look on her face.

“its not a joke Maxon, he told me himself before I left the institute. He wants me to destroy the brotherhood of steel.” Suddenly it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room, the tension is unbearable.

“So, what will you do knight? Will you go against us?” She shakes her head. 

“I found out a lot about who I used to be while I was in the institute, that man…. Isn’t my baby boy. As far as I know my boy died in that cryo vault at his fathers side.” Maxon actually grins at her words and I cant help but feel ashamed of the fact that someone like Arthur would take pleasure in Avery’s pain. 

“You are the perfect example of the devotion to the brother hood that our men should strive for.” She looks indifferent to the complement while I stare at her feeling immensely sorry for her situation. 

“I managed to retrieve some data from their computers while I was there. Who should I give it to?” She asks as she pulls a small flash drive from her trench coat.

“Great work, give it to Proctor Quinlan. I will find a way to reward you for your loyalty.” The way he says it makes me more uncomfortable than before, while she only smiles in his direction.

“Go on Nate and Danse are in the middle of an investigation. I ask that you join them, you will be a part of Danse’s new squad. Haylen and Rhys are being moved to a new group.” She salutes him and waits for me to follow her out of the room. Like a dog, I follow behind her while she glances at me over her shoulder. When we get to her old room she enters while I linger in the doorway.

“Are you going to come in?” I stare at her as she pulls her jacket throwing it aside. Then I see it, the night we spent in the glowing sea.

“I shouldn’t, get that info to Quinlan and meet Nate and I back at the airport after you’ve settled in.” She sighs softly walking over to me until shes standing in front of me.

“Did it hurt, when I couldn’t remember you? When I didn’t even have a spark of recognition towards you?” I bite my tongue catching her hand before she can place it on my cheek.

“You know where we will be.” I say pulling away from her and leaving her alone in her room. I can feel her gaze boring into my back as I walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a chapter later on to explain what happened within those 6 months.


	41. Duty or dishonor part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone still reading this i really appreciate you sticking with the story! comments are loved! thank you!

Avery  
So many memories so many different things passing through my head at once its hard to get a grip on whats happening. When I go to place a hand on Danses cheek, its for reassurance that he’s real. That these memories within me aren’t made up and placed there by Shaun. He catches my hand before I have a chance to touch him, he narrows his eyes and gives me a painful expression as he drops my hand and walks out of the room. I feel my heart drop as he walks away, but I know I should go after him, I should try to. I sink my nails into my palm as I let him leave, I only feel worse with every step he takes. Instead of following him I go back towards where proctor Quinlan’s office was. When I got inside he was looking over some papers, his eyes widened as he stared at me. 

“Knight Avery? So, it seems you’ve returned? Elder Maxon must be out of his mind with joy.” He says it almost sarcastically and I can’t help but feel uncomfortable at the insinuation.

“Maxon didn’t seem to interested with my return.” Quinlan looked extremely skeptical which only fueled the frustration I was feeling. 

“Hmmm, well in any case what can I help you with knight?” I pulled out the flash drive I had shown Maxon and placed it in his hand. 

“A gift from the institute.” He stares at the drive as though it were a relic to be preserved.

“I shall get this decoded immediately. Thank you for your service Knight.” I nod heading back out until I reach the vertibird, I get comfortable for the ride down back to the airport. When I get there, Nate is waiting for me against the doors to get inside. 

“Hey Hun, welcome back. Did Danse brief you on the situation?” I sigh looking back at my synth ex-husband and shake my head. 

“Not really no. Something about rations being stolen from us?” Nate wraps his arm around my neck and leads me down back towards where Duncan is playing on the floor with some figures. I smile at him before noticing that Danse and Haylen are in a corner talking. I stare at them confused wondering what is going on while Nate focuses on talking to Duncan who seems tired. I swallow hard feeling every nerve ending in my body light up like a wildfire.

I didn’t feel the stray tear that ran down my cheek or the others that followed as Haylen stole a kiss from his lips, one that Danse didn’t deny. I felt betrayed completely and profoundly as she smiled at him and went on her way. I turned my face into Nates neck before Danse could see me. I felt Nate stiffen but he didn’t move away from me he only pulled me closer to him.

 

“You alright Hun?” He whispered softly as he tucked my hair behind my ear. I only nodded hearing Danse’s footsteps as he approaches. 

“ahem, is everything alright here?” Nate looks up at him placing a hand on my head. 

“Yeah, my baby girl is just tired isn’t that right? Avery?” I pulled away from his shoulder considering looking into his eyes as he wiped my tears away. 

“Yes of course.” I didn’t even bother looking at Danse who was glaring at us. “We should keep investigating this guy, how bout Avery and I continue to search around Gavil and his team while you and Duncan go talk to Maxon about visiting the kid’s dad when we finish this.” Danse opens his mouth to disagree but Nate waves him away.

“This is my wife, let us have a little alone time please.” Danse clamps his mouth shut and grits his teeth. 

“Remember where we are decorum prohibits this.” He said looking between us.

“Please, like I didn’t see you and Haylen making out back behind the storage containers.” Nate says his eyes narrowing at Danse who doesn’t say a word only looks away uncomfortably. 

“Now why don’t you to go ahead we will meet you once this mission has been handled.” He presses his forehead against mine while he says it, making me struggle to not let my tears fall once more. 

“Fine, meet me by the vertibird when you two are finished.” He saw the word finished with slight disgust before hes offering his hand to Duncan and walking away with the boy. 

“You alright baby?” He questions placing both hands on my cheeks so I’m staring into those big blue eyes of his. 

“Yeah, hun.” I say placing a hand over his.

“lets go meet with this guy afterwards ill take you out to dinner when we get to Good Neighbor with MacCready.” I only smiled softly as he leaned his forehead against mine. I looked up into his eyes and watched as he leaned in pressing his lips against mine softly. I felt my heart race in my chest as Nate pulled me closer his body against mine. 

It felt so familiar to have him like this, to feel him so close and smell his familiar scent. I was trembling in his arms as his tongue swiped the seam of my lips. I squeezed my eyes shut fighting the whimper that is threatening to escape my lips. I parted my lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Wrong, this was so wrong but I couldn’t stop, my mind was still reeling from everything I had been through and from all that time being stuck in the institute. I broke and kissed Nate with everything I had not bothering to feel guilty. He pulled away from me panting as he grinned at me. I bit my lip trying to stop the smile from sprouting on my lips as well. 

“We should head out to find Gavil.” He said almost as if he were trying to convince himself rather than me. 

“Lead the way.” I said with a smile. We both looked around us to make sure no one had caught us and luckily no one had. Nate led me to the area where the logistics team was. As soon as we got there a man saw us approach and sighed. 

“Let me guess Captain Kells sent you?” Nate and I looked at each other for a moment before I spoke. 

“That’s right.” He looked irritated but only nodded. 

“Let’s talk about this somewhere a little more private. Follow me.” He started walking without any indication on whether we would follow, Nate only shrugged as we followed behind him.

“We’ve converted this section. into our primary supply area. Everything the brotherhood needs to operate passes through here, supplies from the Prydwen, salvage from the field we handle it all. Access is strictly limited to the logistics detail and we track every crate, every bullet, every bolt that comes through that door. That is why I don’t take too kindly to these accusations, I know every soldier in this unit and the thought that anyone would question their loyalty makes me sick. If you have questions, ask if not stay out of our way.” Nate glared at him trying not to lose his temper with the man who obviously didn’t want to help us. I placed a hand on his arm before looking back at Sargent Gavil. 

“Tell us about the missing supplies.” The man sighed hoping rather than interrogate him we would just leave.

“Were down over 20 crates if you believe those scribes. All food, dried meat, instamesh, blamco mac and cheese. It doesn’t make sense. I could see someone stealing weapons or tech, but our thief goes through all this trouble for a life time supply of cram?” I’ve got to admit that I understand how stupid it sounds.

“Where should we begin then?” Nate questions making Gavil look even more aggravated.

“You shouldn’t! this is a waste of time, Ive already spoken to my men no ones seen anything. Tegan’s scribes have just fouled up the books again. Now if you insist on questioning someone go bother Lucia or Clarke I can spare them.” I couldn’t help but wonder why these two out of the whole logistics detail. 

“Lucia and Clarke?” Nate questions for me while I just stare at Gavil trying to figure out why he wants this dropped so bad. “Knight Lucia and initiate Clarke were just posted to this detail a few weeks ago. They are still learning their way around but I will have them in shape soon enough. If you have to badger someone with your questions let it be them.” He seemed very suspicious and I couldn’t help but believe he was the one behind all of this.

“That will be all Sargent.” The way Nate said it was very obviously mocking and I couldn’t help but sigh at how childish he could be sometimes. Gavil ignored him and spoke to me. 

“Take my advice and poke around a little, its not worth your time or mine.” He says turning away from us. Nate and I walked to a corner to talk. 

“he’s hiding something.” Nate says leaning against the wall. 

“yeah I don’t doubt it, hes trying to push this a little too much. I get he doesn’t want his men questioned as traitors but I don’t know. There is something off about this.” I say looking over my shoulder at the two initiates staring back at me. 

“Do you think we will find anything just by talking to them?” Nate questions while I shrug. 

“if they are stealing this much food they aren’t going to own up to it.” He smirks up at me his eyes lighting up with mischief.

“why don’t we just look in their storage lockers up at the Prydwen? We have orders from captain Kells, no one would bat an eye.” I looked back at them knowing full well they wouldn’t be able to stop us since they were working anyways. 

“Let’s go.” Nate grins as we head back towards the Prydwen. I just shake my head and follow behind him trying to stifle the smile on my face. But I couldn’t help it, it was nice having Nate back and at my side especially here of all places. He seemed to fit right in with the ruins of the airport around him, he was dressed in a torn checkered tshirt and jeans. I couldn’t stop myself from reaching forward and taking his hand. He looked over at me slightly confused for a moment before tightening his grip on my hand and giving me a sweet smile. A smile that pulled at the strings in my heart.   
``````````````````````  
Back at the Prydwen we ran into Danse and Duncan who were seated at a table eating. Danse raised an eyebrow at our clasped hands but said nothing. 

“Back so soon? Did you find anything?” Nate shook his head. “No but I think that checking their personal storage containers will be enough to tell us what is really going on.” Danse contemplated it for a moment before nodding. 

“Yeah if it needs to be done do it.” With that Nate was leading me back towards the knight and initiates quarters. When we got there I went to work on Lucias container while Nate went after Clarkes. After picking the lock the container had a mess of clothes I rifled through it finding a holotape journal. 

“That guy Is clean, not a damn thing out of place.” I raised the holotape so Nate could see it before I placed it in my pipboy. He came up behind me to read while I looked through the things she had written. As it turns out knight Lucia is covering up for initiate Clarke who snuck out during some certain times of the day.

We both went back to Danse and Duncan. I felt my heart constrict as Haylen leaned over him her arms wrapped around his shoulders. I could already feel my nails digging into my palm to the point of drawing blood.

“Danse, we found something. Do you want us to finish the investigation ourselves? You seem busy.” I try not to let the jealousy seep into my tone.

“No, it wont be a problem, I shall assist you.” Danse says pulling away from Haylen who looks confused. 

“I will see you later Haylen, Duncan and I will be leaving to Good Neighbor after this.” He says stepping out of his chair and reaching for Duncan. 

“Stay safe out there.” She says it softly followed by another kiss and I have to try my hardest not to grit my teeth. He nods to her while I turn my back heading back towards the logistics team where we will confront our thief. Nate catches up to me his arm wrapping around my hips.


	42. Duty or Dishonor part 2

Nate  
It’s crazy to see her again after leaving and I have to admit part of me is craving her presence and her touch. When I kissed her, she didn’t pull away though I feel like that has more to do with Danse finding someone rather than her wanting me. We trail behind he as she goes to confront knight Lucia, I make Danse and Duncan wait behind in case she causes a scene. 

“Knight Lucia!” Avery calls causing the girl to look at us confused.

“You’ve been covering for initiate Clarke.” I smile as Avery gets right to the point.

“I…what?” Lucia looks shocked but more so scared at being discovered. “We read your journal, there’s no point in trying to deny it.” Lucia’s jaw drops as she looks between Avery and me. 

“No way! You can’t be allowed to do that!” she tries to argue. “We have orders from Captain Kells, no one could have stopped us.” She looks frustrated while Avery remains passively calm. There’s something so attractive about the way she holds herself, the air of superiority that revolves around her.

“You need to tell me where he’s been going or you too will be charged with treason. "Now tell me about Clarke."  
Lucia sighed as she looked up at us. "We joined the Brotherhood around the same time, about two years ago, we’ve always been friends... well, until recently." That caught our attention immediately. 

"Why? What happened?" Lucia shrugged looking at us sadly. "It was... it was after the battle."  
Avery looked over at me as she said the words. 

"The battle?" Lucia nodded as she sat on the crate she had been standing next to. 

"The battle for the airport. It was our first real combat mission. It was something to see. The Prydwen coming in under full Vertibird escort, guns blazing. We were one of the first teams to hit the ground. Dozens of ferals. We opened fire and cut them down, then hunted the ones that tried to run. It was everything I had hoped for. But Clarke... he hasn't been the same since. It's like he's just given up. Since then, I've noticed him slipping off by himself, once or twice a day. I never thought much of it, but... Do you think you could follow him? See what he's doing? His shift should be over in a few minutes. Maybe it's nothing. But... I'm worried about him." She pleaded but something about this was making me uneasy. 

“I will follow him and see what he’s up to.” Avery says before turning around looking at me to follow after her. I grin as we walk past Danse who seemed eager to talk about what we had just learned. We walk out of the logistics area and head around the back of the airport to talk. Avery leans against the wall crossing her arms over her chest looking troubled. 

“There is something not right about this. If Clarke is taking these supplies and in the amounts, he is taking… we have a much bigger problem to worry about.” She says looking between Danse who is seated on the floor with Duncan next to him and myself. 

Danse thinks about it for a moment. 

“You think he’s feeding an army of raiders behind the brotherhoods back?” She contemplates it for a moment then shakes her head.

“No, there’s no way to move that much food without the brotherhood noticing. No, the food has to be here in the airport somewhere.” I look back over at her and notice her eyes shift from me to somewhere behind me, I’m about to turn to follow her gaze when she steps up and cups my face and forces me to look at her. I blink confused because normally this kind of thing wouldn’t be something she would put on display for Duncan or Danse. I don’t mind though, it’s a pleasant surprise to see her acting this way. I pull her even closer placing my hands on her hips, her lips are inches from mine and I can’t help but tighten my grip on her in anticipation. 

"Avery." I whisper and my voice sounds husky and strained to my own ears as she leans closer. My skin is tingling and the feeling of her soft gentle hands on my face is electrifying. The brush of her lips against mine makes my heart race in my chest and my blood boil in my veins. Want, courses through every fiber of my being as our tongues find each other, I shiver as her hands move from my neck to my back her hands tightening in my shirt as she tires to pull me even closer. It’s not enough, not fucking enough, I want her. I want to devour and worship every inch. It’s not love but I know I’m recklessly needy for her. The need to own her was the reason that I ended up married to her despite loving her sister.

That and Avery is strong, intelligent and outright crazy sometimes, but she was perfect and in all the days we had spent married I never once regretted the decision I had made. After a moment, she pulled away from me, her eyes were dark filled with lust though she was staring at me confused. I guess she hadn’t remembered what our relationship was like, I only smirked as she shook her head a small smile on her lips. 

"What was that about?" Danse sounds annoyed as he uncovers Duncan’s eyes. 

"Clarke saw me and Nate and since you and Duncan were hidden by the tree I had to find an excuse to be hidden back behind the airport without raising his suspicions.

"Let’s do that more often." I wink at her causing her face to turn bright red. 

“Shut up! We have to follow him. Let’s go!” She says heading after Clarke while I look at Danse with a grin while he rolls his eyes at me as he stands up and I run right after her. When I reach her, she’s standing in front of an old subway tunnel, she’s looking just as confused as we are.

“Danse, you and Duncan stay here. Nate and I will investigate.” He looks at her strangely and I can’t help but see the affection he holds for her in his eyes. It’s almost impossible not to notice, he places a hand on her head almost as if chastising a child. She looks up at him without a word, I feel a spike of jealousy at how they communicate without words how much they truly care for each other. I suppress it, she doesn’t belong to me anymore and I don’t own her.

“Stay safe out there Knight, don’t take any unnecessary risks.” She reaches up and takes his hand from her head and lowers it to his side while he swallows hard.

“We will be fine. Come on Nate.” She says turning to me I only nod walking to her side as we walk down the ruined stairs of the subway station. When we get to the main area there are rooms and ruins everywhere I walk to a door but it seems that you need a key card to get in, I look over at Avery whose face is filled with concern.

“I really don’t like this.” She says as she heads around the corner, I follow behind her as she opens a set of double doors. We head down the staircase and freeze at the sound of growls coming from the opposite side of the room.

“Fucking ferals.” She murmurs softly as we look at those old moving walkways that they used to have filling the airports. She pulls out her gun while I do the same and we walk as slowly and as quietly as we can towards them. Next thing I know Avery is stumbling forward and I’m moving to catch her in my arms, I stumble over the limb of a now angry feral as I manage to grab Avery. We both crash to the ground hard grunting at the impact against the concrete floors. But I manage to stop her from hitting her head or doing any damage to herself. She looks at me thankfully and rolls on her back to shoot at the ferals now ready to attack us. I stand up as she covers me and offer her my hand lifting her to her feet as we run deeper into the subway to escape the ferals. 

 

We get to the end only to run into a corner that is filled with water and four ferals. She hits one of the ferals hard with the bottom of her railway rifle. I shoot the ones I can backing out of ones grasp as he tries to scratch me. Avery ends up nailing two of their heads to the wall, I can hear the other growls getting closer, I look around us noticing part of the ceiling has caved and we could probably make it to the second floor. I take Avery’s hand and pull her up the scaffolding and head up to the second floor. Near the whole that leads to where the other ferals are I see a fire extinguisher, I drop Avery’s hand and grab it throwing it down to where the ferals are running and clawing at the wall to get us. I wait until there is a good group of them gathered before I shoot the container.

When the bullets hit, nothing happens for a moment, I curse as I shoot again and nothing. Avery comes over and shoots a nail into the fire extinguisher only for it to erupt blowing up all the ferals near the blast. I smile at her gratefully as she reaches for my hand again. I take it looking at her almost confused. 

“Thank you.” She whispers it softly and I can only lean forward and place a kiss on her forehead. 

“I would do anything for you.” The corner of her lips turns up as she stares back at me. I run my thumb over her now bleeding lower lip that she must have bit during the fall we had. 

“Lets go find this guy and make him pay for putting us through so much shit.” She nods as we turn around to see the hallway empty. We walk together and end up going through an underground parking lot we walked all the way down the circular parking lot we reach the subway trains and walk through murky water as we pass the tracks. I cant help the memories that are flooding through my mind. A 15 year old Avery walking across the tracks in a beautiful white sundress staring up at the sky as she sings at the top of her lungs. I stare at her as she walks ahead of me and I stop in my tracks just watching her. It was the first day I had ever laid eyes on her. I cant feel this now this cant happen, I feel a tear roll down my cheek and I wipe it away just as she turns around looking at me over her shoulder, her beautiful maroon hair glowing in the light. I swallowed hard as she calls over to me. 

“Nate are you alright?” Memories so many memories of her like this. I fall to the ground as the memories continue playing through my eyes, when she comes closer I see myself asking her to marry me. The way those grey eyes light up my heart is reeling. She crouches down and touches my cheek trying to get me to look at her, I grab her and press my lips against her. At that moment I realize I need her, she pulls away from me and smiles. 

 

“We gotta get going, you gonna be okay?” I nod taking her hand allowing her to lift me to my feet. We keep going on our path until we reach what looks like a place to grab your luggage. Its now that ive realized she hasn’t let go of my hand and is tugging me along with her. We enter a room on the far end of the one we are standing in and freeze when we see him. Its initiate Clarke standing in the middle of the room. Hes holed up in the middle of the lower levels of the basement with food scattered all over the floor and only a terminal within the room.

“HEY! How did you find me here!” He growls already having seen us. 

“We followed you, you led us right to the missing supplies.” Avery says looking at the food around us. 

“Damn it! I thought I was being careful! I guess someone was bound to catch me I couldn’t keep this up forever.” We both look at each other. “

You stole the supplies.” She says again while he nods. 

“Yes knight I did, I’m in logistics, no one even questioned me when I took them out of the terminal. I’ve been bringing them down here at night to feed the ghouls, its been working so far.” We both look at him wondering what the hell would possess him to keep feeding them. 

“You know we need to report this.” I say softly while he shrugs. “I understand what you have to do, but please hear me out first. I had a friend who was a ghoul hes as human as you or me. The brotherhood says that we have to kill them, that they are abominations. Would you kill him too just because of who he is?” I don’t say anything while Avery opens her mouth to speak before closing it again. 

“No, I wouldn’t.” he looks at her nodding in understanding. Within the two years ive been in the brotherhood, I never once questioned our beliefs, but during the battle for the airport… the ghouls they just kept coming… I killed… I don’t even know how many. They started running away but we… we kept going. I killed them… I killed them all.” He sounds absolutely disgusted with himself and I see Avery is sympathetic and I know its because of that ghoul I met in sanctuary.

“You did what you had to do… “ She murmured softly. 

“That’s what Lucia said, but we could have stopped, we could have driven them off. We didn’t have to slaughter them. After the battle I needed to think I found this place and the ghouls. What was I supposed to do? Report them?! If I did they would be killed, if I ignore them theyd attack the base, if I brought them food maybe they would stay down here. We wouldn’t have to kill them, do you think I did the right thing?” He asks and I see that hes staring at Avery, the kid is still a teenager and I can see her heart is aching at the choice he made. 

“You’ve put everyone’s lives at risk, you’ve betrayed the brotherhood.” He sighs looking up at Avery. 

 

“What will you do with them… with me?” He questions while Avery bites her lip her eyes brimming with sadness.

“I will kill them, you betrayed the brotherhood, you should turn yourself in.” She says it softly already expecting the quick shake of his head as denies her plan. 

“No, I cant do that. You know the captain, I wouldn’t even get a fair hearing, just do what you need to do.” He closes his eyes and I see Avery gritting her teeth as she raises her railway rifle to his head. I place a hand on her shoulder only to have her shrug it off and pull the trigger. He died instantly and I watched as Avery took everything on him. 

“Come on, lets get the hell out of here.” She says it quietly and I can tell what doing this has done to her, I take her hand to show her that im here. Because I know she still needs me.


	43. Seeing ghosts of the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a suicide attempt if you dont want to read ignore the chapter.

Avery

We reached Good Neighbor quickly enough I immediately headed straight for the third rail while Danse decided to get us a room for the night. The city lights are bright against the night sky, Nate walks behind me while I take Duncan’s hand and head towards the V.I.P Room of the third rail. My heart was racing in my chest. The last time I had seen MacCready had been when I was still locked away within the institute. My hands are trembling as I try to wash away the memory of what I had suffered. Duncan tightens his hand in mine and I’m brought back to the present where Duncan is now leading me towards to the room where I had first laid eyes on MacCready. I felt my heart shutter in my chest as I stepped across the threshold into the V.I.P room.

I swallowed hard staring at him seated with his back turned to us as he polishes his sniper. The last time I saw him was back at the facility the institute kept me in. My hands were shaking as I tried to step into the room but I couldn’t. After everything back then I just don’t know if I am ready to face him. My thoughts of escaping were silenced by Duncan’s voice calling towards his father. 

“Dad!” MacCready freezes at the sound of his son calling for him. 

“Duncan?” He turns as the boy runs into his father’s waiting arms. I felt my heart ache seeing the reunion seeing something I could never have, I watch MacCready who was crying as he held his son tightly in his arms. 

“It’s you! God its really you!” He said it softly I looked over at Nate who looked uncomfortable and I know what hes feeling because we won’t ever have that. Our son is crazy and there is nothing that can be done about that. I place a hand on my stomach, swallowing back the tears that are threatening to spill from my eyes. My thoughts immediately turn to Deacon. I can’t shake the feelings of missing him, the feelings of wanting to be with him even after everything that he did. I bite my tongue and close my eyes trying to shake away his memory. 

“Avery…” MacCready says as he looks up from his son.

“I’m gonna get a drink love.” Nate says turning away from me to head back into the bar.

“You brought him back. Thank you..” He stands and Duncan pulls him towards me. I try my hardest not to feel as he wraps his arms around me and holds me as tightly as he can. I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as he holds me against him. I fucking miss MacCready and that’s all I can think of as we pull away from each other with tears in our eyes. We both stare at each other’s tear soaked faces and we can’t help but laugh. 

“Its been too long boss, way too long. Thank you for bringing Duncan back.” I look over at Duncan who is already playing with the empty rifle on the table. He follows my gaze for a moment before pulling me closer, I stare at him confused for a moment. Before I can blink his lips are pressed against mine. I don’t pull away because I need this, I need to forget Deacon exists, I need to pretend I have no idea what’s happening between Nate and I. I just want to forget. I want the hurt to stop, I want my life back. I feel my heart race as MacCready slides his hand down my back. He pulls away pressing his forehead against mine. 

 

“There is no way I could possibly repay you for what you’ve done. I know I am a pain in the as… I know I come off as arrogant and like I want to be alone. But nothing could be further from the truth being alone terrifies me… We traveled together for a while and I didn’t realize how much I missed having someone I could depend on until you disappeared. First you find the cure for him… now you’ve brought him back to me. I need you to know you and Duncan are the only family I have out here. I want to stay with you and I hope you know that I am going to do anything and everything to see that that happens. I look into those big blue eyes that drew me in from the start.

“Just stay around me… I care about you and I want you to stay…” I say my voice sounding thick with sadness to my own ears.

“I’d do anything for you… All I want is to stay with you…” He whispers his fingers finding a way to lace with mine. I look down at our fingers and smile up at him. His other hand goes to a pocket in his jacket, he produces a small wooden carved soldier. I lift my hand to the worn toy soldier. “I know an old carved toy soldier is a strange reward for returning my son but this one is special… this one means a lot to me.” He murmurs taking my hand in his and lifting my hand so my palm was open facing upwards. He placed the small toy on it closing my fingers around it.

“If its special to you… then its special to me. Thank you.” I whisper as he leans down to press a gentle kiss to mine. “Please don’t lose it… Lucy made this for me when we first met, she loved making these things…” I looked up at the sadness in those big blue eyes,

“I lied to her…” he laughs humorlessly. “Told her I was a soldier… and she made it for me… It was a lot more prestigious than just a low life mercenary who kills people for money. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. I didn’t want to lose her for what I was.” I pressed my forehead against his again. “Hey, I understand why you did it.” He stares down at me a sympathetic smile on his lips. “I knew you’d understand. I had a feeling you knew where I was coming from. But I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore. She died a few years back, we had made the mistake of holing up in a metro station one night. We didn’t know the place was infested with ferals.

They were on her before I could even fire a shot. Ripped her apart right in front of me…” it reminds me of watching Nate die and I squeeze his hand tightly in mine. Hes just like me, we’ve both suffered so much to the hands of fate… but we deserve to be happy. “It took everything I had for me to take Duncan in my arms, something tells me I would have been better off dying right there.” My heart skips a beat in my chest and I feel like my breath has been stolen from me. 

“Please don’t say that… You mean to much to me, if you died I never would have met you… I never would have fallen in love with you.” I whisper running my hand down his cheek. He smiles as a lone tear rolls down his cheek, I reach up wiping it away with my thumb. 

“When I lost Lucy I thought I had lost my will to never give up… I thought that feeling was lost forever… until I met you. You have the world’s problems on your back and here you are helping me with mine, giving me your shoulder just like Lucy did. I know I can never repay you for what you’ve done for me. But if it takes me my entire life I swear I will stay with you.” I feel his hands on my cheek as he lifts my face up to press his lips to mine. 

 

Nate

Even from the bar I can hear the words they are saying and it hurts… because I know Avery isn’t seeing him even, she’s seeing the old me… the real me. I lean against the bar as Danse takes a seat next to me his eyes on her too.

“I don’t think she will ever let go of that merc. No matter what she feels for anyone else he always comes first.” Danse doesn’t sound made about it, he just seems unsure. 

 

“What does she see in a hired gun who has a child that has no idea what he does for a living?” I swallow hard because I know exactly what she sees. “She sees the husband she lost and the son shaun should have been.” Danse looks at me this time and realization flickers in his eyes. 

“It doesn’t matter what I try to do, she knows im not the real thing. She cares but she doesn’t love me… I think shes starting to remember everything before she woke up. I was a monster to her, I cheated on her with her own flesh and blood. Despite knowing I wasn’t in love with her I married her anyways. I was a piece of shit and she knew it but she never argued or fought with me about it. When the news came of her sister being pregnant… that was the first time I saw Avery cry. She tried being happy for Aviana but she just knew immediately when she saw her sister. She knew it was me and she broke, she tried to kill herself that same night. I found her in the bathtub her wrists slit her blood pooling in the water. Avery spent a couple months in a coma while Aviana gave birth, the night she died we fought and she stormed out of the house in a rage. It was raining out pretty badly and she ran straight off of a bridge. Miraculously Avery woke up that same night,” Danse offers me a drink I take it gratefully downing it so I don’t have to feel the ache accompanied by the memories.

“You know it sucks to be a synth and still have to feel like a human.” I murmur looking back in the direction of Avery and MacCready who are heading our way. 

 

“MacCready.” Danse nods his head politely at the merc. “It’s good to see you Danse, thank you both for taking care of my son. Hes very fond of both of you.” We both smile up at him. 

 

“It was a pleasure, hes a bright kid.” MacCready smiled happily looking back at his son who was lying on a couch back in the V.I.P room resting. 

 

“He takes after his mother.” He says it with a hint of remorse. While Avery only leans against him in support, he kisses her hair his arms wrapping around her waist. I grit my teeth trying not to feel anything but these emotions I was given are going haywire as I stare at them. I lifted my drink to my lips as I look away from her, vivid memories are starting to play every time I close my eyes. I pay for a bottle and give Avery a look, one she knows fairly well.

 

“Danse where’s the key to our room? I’m gonna turn in early.” Danse looks at me confused but drops the keys in my palm. I waved at everyone before going to the room to suffer alone. When I got in there I sat on the bed downing the bottle I had just purchased. My vision becomes blurry as I allow the memory to overtake me. 

 

“It was you… You are the father of Avianna’s son…” Her voice was soft as it reached my ears.

“What are you talking about?” I questioned as I turned to face her… I had barely put my coat on the hanger as she spoke again.

“Nate… don’t treat me like Im stupid… please… just tell me the truth!” Shes drunk, I can see the glazed look in her steel colored eyes. 

“Avery.” There’s a warning in my tone… she laughs humorlessly. 

“I don’t know why I thought I could actually win your heart. Why I am doing this to myself… You and Avianna should be together.” She says it softly as the tears finally fall past her eyelids. I feel something in my chest break for the woman who I thought was stronger than anyone or anything. She presses her face into her hands without saying a word. 

“Avery.” I whisper again as I step closer trying to comfort her in any way I can. She pulls away from me shaking her head and heading towards the bathroom. I hear the bath water and I had assumed she went to clean herself up. I run a hand through my hair exhausted because between those two girls I felt like I was losing my mind. I went to the kitchen to pour myself some whiskey only to hear something clatter to the floor in the bathroom. 

“Avery?” I call out to her as I finish pouring my cup. I take a sip before heading over to the bathroom that is eerily silent aside from the water being run.

“Hey honey?” I call rapping at the door with my knuckles. She doesn’t answer and I want to feel like its because she’s mad at me but my anxiety is rising the longer she doesn’t respond.

“Avery if you don’t answer me I will break this fucking door down!” I yell as I start to bang on it. Still she doesn’t answer me… I take a step back and kick the door open. It hits the wall hard as I feel my heart drop, Avery is lying naked in the bathtub her wrists slit open her blood pooling on our white floor as well as into the tub where shes lying. The water has turned a dark shade of red with her lifes blood. 

Shes slipped into the tub her hair mixing with the blood in the porcelain tub. “AVERY!” I screamed as I ran to her side pulling her the tub into my arms. I held her up brushing her damp hair from her face. I leaned close listening to see if I could hear her breathing… she wasn’t. 

I tried not to panic as I pulled her from the tub laying her flat on the floor. I grabbed two towels tying them tightly to her wrists to staunch the bleeding. I slipped my cellphone from my back pocket and dialed 911. “Hello 911, what is your emergency?” I look down at Avery as the tears come. 

“M-my wife… she’s… she tried to kill herself… she isn’t breathing.” I say trying to keep calm but my heart was beating a million miles because I think im going to lose her. 

“Sir stay calm, Begin CPR and we will send an ambulance to your position as soon as we can.” I start the chest compressions doing only 10 before opening her mouth and starting the rescue breaths. I continue for what feels like hours and just as I start to hear the ambulance outside Avery coughs up water, I turn her head so it runs down her cheek. Her steel eyes flicker to me once and I swear I saw surprise in her eyes before she closed them. She slept for so long that I thought I would really lose my mind if I lost her. That’s what caused Avianna to leave me, to do to herself what Avery had tried.

A loud whistle breaks me from my thoughts as my eyes snap over to the door where Deacon is standing. His shades are covering his eyes, but I can tell hes glaring at me. I wipe my tears away and my memories of the past. 

“What the fuck do you want? I thought Avery ditched your sorry ass back at the institute? After you betrayed your friends and the people you swore to protect… how does it feel to be Shaun’s pawn?” I can hear his teeth click together as he tries to refrain from saying anything to me. “At least I’m not a poorly made imitation, one who is made to look like the man who tortured Avery all her life…” a glimpse of Avery in that tub bleeding out crosses my eyes once more and I have nothing to say because hes right. 

“That’s what I thought. I’m here because you are going to arrange a meeting between me and my wife.” I glare at him as he calls her that. 

“HA! You are out of your fucking mind, she’d rather swallow a bullet than deal with you, she made that plenty obvious.” I say as he leans against the wall. 

“I think she’s more interested in the little girl and little boy on life support in the institute.” I stare at him confused.

“Get her alone and tell her she needs to find me… Otherwise she may miss her only chance to meet Theo and Zara.

” I blink at the names in surprise. “Theo and Zara…?” I recall another memory of Avery and I trying to have kids, she always mentioned how if we had twins she would name them Theo and Zara. Deacon actually fucking smiles at me as he turns to leave. 

“Tell her I will be waiting for her in Sanctuary.” I stare at him in shock as he turns to leave the room. 

“WAIT!” I growl as I grab him by the arm. He shrugs me off glaring at me behind his shades. “If you are lying I swear to god I will hunt you down.” He only laughs softly. “She will just have to find out wont she?” He disappears from the room and I feel the weight of his news hit me hard. He managed to get what I never could, a family with her something that was ours. I felt like the air was being sucked from my lungs. 

“Deacon?!” That voice.... “Danse… I was just heading on my way.” Danse looks confused but Deacon doesn’t wait for him to say anymore he gets out of our room disappearing quickly. “What the hell?” Danse says turning to face me. “I should get out of here… head back to the airport.” I don’t know if I can confront Avery with the news that she has children with Deacon.

“Nate…” This time its Avery, I look up at her and the glimpses are happening again.

“Fuck!” I try to cover my eyes but the images are starting to linger. 

“Nate you need to lay down its okay.” Its her voice… She pushes me gently onto the bed where I lay back and stare at her. 

“I think I am having a malfunction.” I say softly reminding her exactly what I am. She frowns at that taking a seat next to me. “It isn’t a malfunction, I just didn’t realize you were in so much pain.” She whispers softly placing a hand on my cheek.

 

“You may be a synth, but this is what it feels like to be human. You wont ever be Nate, but you shouldn’t have to be. Be something better than he was.” She speaks as she leans down to press a kiss to my forehead. 

“Now rest, we have another mission to start in the morning.” I nod as I let my eye lids fall closed. 

“Thank you.” I murmur as I try to fall asleep.


	44. Blind betrayal

Avery  
I stare at Nate resting in the bed, Danse has stepped out for a moment. MacCready looks at Nate curiously as well. “I never knew a synth could be eaten away by guilt.” I look at him solemnly.

“I didn’t think Nate could feel guilty.” MacCready places a gentle hand on mine. I look up tucking my hair behind my ear as Danse returns from the hall. “It turns out that our help has been requested by Elder Maxon. There is a sentinel site that he wishes us to explore for any technology and weaponry. Haylen is out in the field we need to meet up with her. 

“MacCready, take care of Nate for me. Danse and I will return in a couple days to check up on him.” MacCready nods as I stand gathering my things and readying myself to head out with Danse. We walk side by side. 

“I requested a vertibird to bring us to Haylen, from there we should be able to make it to the site.” I nod my head my hand tightening on the strap of my pack. We walk until we reach the exit door of Goodnieghbor. I look back to see Hancock standing by the state house door reaching to light a cigarette. Our gazes meet for a moment and he freeze’s as he stares at me. I swallow hard feeling Danse’s hand on my lower back ushering me forward. He looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t get the chance as Fahrenheit comes out the door and catches his attention.

I let Danse guide me as we walk out of there a vertibird already waiting for us. Danse gets into the vertibird and offers me a hand lifting me up into the aircraft. I shiver as the air around us becomes suddenly very cold. I can’t shake the feeling that something is about to happen. Danse and I sit close together but I am shivering, he wraps a warm arm around my shoulders leaning me into him. I lay my head against his shoulders as I try to rest. 

His rough fingertips are drawing strange shapes into my skin. But all of it feels comforting, I smile up at him as he presses his forehead against mine. Our eyes are focused on each other and I can’t help but shiver as his strong warm palm runs up my neck and stops against my jaw. He forces me to stare into his chocolate eyes. I shiver again looking up at him unsure of what is about to happen, maybe he feels what I do. Maybe hes scared of what is going to happen next, maybe that spurs him forward. Hes so close that I can feel his breath on my lips, 

I’m trembling in his arms as we stare into each other’s eyes. “I know this is wrong, I am your superior… but you need to know that what I feel is real.” Danse’s words catch me off guard, his eyes look so vulnerable as he looks down at me. I place my hand over his, I should stop this…

I need to stop this. There is so much happening that I don’t even want to think about what I feel for Danse. “I am completely and utterly in love with you.” Those words hit my heart in a way that shouldn’t be possible. He isn’t ashamed to admit how he feels about me.

“I love you so goddamn much knight that it hurts. All I ever think about is when I am going to see you again… When I will be able to hold you like this… have the opportunity to kiss you.” I am shocked into silence as I stare up at my commanding officer. “I love you Avery. Since the moment I laid eyes on you. If something happens out here I want, you to always be sure of what I feel… what I felt.”

He makes it sound as though hes going to die. I blink as my eyes fill with tears, I don’t know what to do with information. I don’t know what to do or what I should be doing. “Danse…” He leans in closer his nose skimming up my jaw. “You don’t have to accept my feelings, just acknowledge that they are there.” When he looks into my eyes this time I can’t help my reaction. I close the gap between our lips, I feel a sigh of relief as Danse holds me tightly his mouth molding against mine as he presses kiss after kiss against my lips. Our mouths are moving together, tongues intertwining as we press to be close to the other. I feel my heart racing in my chest, glimpses of the night we spent in the glowing sea are filling my vision. Want… I want him more than I have wanted anything in a long time. “When this is over Avery I want to spend my life with you.”

He trails kisses from my lips to my ear as he whispers the words I have been wanting to hear since I first awoke in this hellhole. When I pull away from him we stare at each other again, the sound of my heart beat is loud in my ears as Danse leans forward to place one last kiss against my lips. I kiss him back with everything in me our lips, tongues, teeth clashing as we kiss each other almost violently. When we pull away I feel Danse’s fingertips brushing away the wetness under my eyes. “I feel the same no matter what Danse.” He smiles in a way that I had never seen, a gentle expression as he stares at me with adoration. I stay leaned against him for the rest of the ride.

Somehow, we managed to find ourselves in the glowing sea once more. Danse I were standing in front of what looks to be a sentinel site. Nate and I just look at each other for a moment before looking at the pyramid before us.

It looks almost ominous against the glow of the irradiated sky. There is containers filled with mini nukes scattered around the entrance to the site, I step forward towards the door trying to avoid them in case they are still dangerous. We step inside only to be greeted by a giant vault looking door. 

Danse goes to the knob turning it until we hear the loud squeak of the latches retracting from the door. Danse follows behind me as step inside the strange building. Inside is a vast set of stairs descending deep underground. I grab onto the rails looking over the edge. “Avery be careful please.” Danse says placing a hand over mine and pulling me away from the ledge. “I’m fine Danse.” I murmur placing a hand over his as he sighs softly.

“Paladin Danse come in sir!” Haylens voice is panicked. “Haylen? What is the matter is everything alright?” Danse says putting the radio to his lips.

“Is knight Avery with you?” She questions her voice trembling and I stare at the radio almost uncomfortably. “She is.” Danse says looking at me and shrugging his shoulders. “Please step away from her I have something important to say to you.” She says, and I feel a familiar burning in my stomach. “Just a moment.” He tells Haylen and then looks at me in an apologetic manner. 

“I will be right back.” He says heading back through the door we entered through. I frown as the jealousy boils in my stomach… I know I shouldn’t, but I hate Haylen. It takes him a while to return so I lean against the wall messing with my pipboy. After a few minutes finally Danse comes back a somber expression on his face. “I love you Avery.” Danse whispers as he places a gentle kiss against my lips. I blink up at him because this doesn’t feel like a declaration of love…   
“Why does this feel like you are about to tell me goodbye.” Danse only smiles grimly.   
Danse  
I stepped outside I stare up at the sky curiously as I reached for my radio. The last time Avery and I had been under this sky we had an agreement, an agreement that allowed me to hold and kiss her the way I always wanted to and now under this same sky we know that we are in love with each other. “Paladin!” Haylen’s panicked voice came through the radio again startling me out of my thoughts. 

“We have a serious problem! Danse please answer me!” She almost screams into the radio. “Knight! I’m here what is the meaning of this?” I question as I bring the radio to my lips. “There’s not much time to explain please listen closely. Knight Avery returned with some tech from the institute…. Maxon had Proctor Quinlan decipher it… It was a list of all the synths that have escaped the institute…. Danse you are on that list! Please you have to hide… You can’t come back to the base and you can’t let the brotherhood find you… Maxon wants you hunted down.” I swallow hard looking back over my shoulder towards the door where Avery is waiting for me. This means I have to disappear… they will most likely try to kill me on Maxon’s command.

“Please Danse… get away from here… leave the commonwealth.” I look at the radio taking a deep breath. “Thank you Haylen for your loyalty. I am glad that I got to meet you.” I murmur squeezing the radio tightly in my hands. 

“Stay safe sir…” Those are her last words before I drop the radio to the ground and crush it under my foot. I disable the transmitter that Haylen gave me and do the same as I did to the radio… the sickening thought hits me as I realize I won’t see Avery after this… I head back inside to see Avery leaned against the wall scrolling through her pip boy. I walk over to her watching as she looks at me with a frown. I take her wrist and tug on it pulling her closer to me. She allows it wrapping her arms around me easily her head laying on my chest. I tilt her chin up and place a gentle kiss on her lips. Avery is blinking up at me confused. 

“Why does this feel like you are about to tell me goodbye?” I smile grimly and place a kiss on her forehead. “Let’s talk after the mission.” She starts to protest for a moment I silence her with another kiss. 

“Let’s go we have work to do, don’t we?” She frowns again but nods as we begin heading down the metal walkway. “It appears that this facility is more than just bomb disposal. It’s been converted into a launching silo as well.” I mutter watching as Avery picks up a few different items. We reach a part of the walkway that has been broken down an open door on the other end. Avery sighs before walking back over the steps and looking over the railing again. This time before I have a chance to stop her she vaults over the railing landing on the walkway below. I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until I see her walking out of there okay.

She grins up at me beckoning me down with her finger. I can’t help the smirk that reaches my lips at the challenge… Avery is definitely something else alright. I jump over the railing landing next to her with a grin. “Finally having some fun paladin?” She murmurs looping her hand through mine as we walk to a door on the other side of the broken walk way. Avery presses her pale palm against the button next to the door. We head inside walking through a few different corridors until we finally reach the lower floors of the sentinel site. Avery finds a hidden walk way through a large pipe only to freeze as she turns the corner. She pulls her railway rifle from over her shoulder taking aim at a large group of ghouls gathered in the middle of the walkway.

I ready my laser rifle and aim it as well as soon as Avery take the shot I follow suit shooting into the group until they all fall dead at our feet. Avery takes what she can from the corpses before we continue forward. We reach the end of the hallway entering the door to find a large red set of double doors. We both stepped inside Avery walked up the stairs only to stop when a man walked up in front of her. “State your purpose, stranger. You walk on Atom’s hallowed ground.” Avery stares at the person confused. “I’m looking for bombs…nuclear bombs.” She says softly as the man looks at her with an unimpressed expression. 

“The children of Atom have sworn to guard this place until the time of the Great Divide. None shall enter.” Avery doesn’t know what to say or do so I pull her back and whisper in her ear. “This man is obviously delusional. I recommend we switch tactics.” She frowns and rolls her eyes at the man. “That’s why we’re here… to spread…. uh…. Atom’s glory… the bombs will be used for Atom.” He looks between the two of us. “Take this and prepare to enter his inner sanctum. Follow the brilliance of the glow, and it shall lead you to the relics. May atoms radiance warm your soul.” He says softly handing Avery an object before walking away. I pull Avery’s hand as we head back downstairs towards the double doors holding the bombs. 

“we made it She says looking around the place placing her own signal pulsar. I freeze seeing it. “Now that the site’s been secured, you should return to the airport immediately. I will remain on watch until the vertibirds arrive…” She turns to face me with a strange look on her face. “Is that really necessary?” She questions her voice wavering. She can feel what is about to happen and I only regret not having the courage to tell her how I felt sooner. The lie slips from my lips and I try not to let it show on my face. “Absolutely. Elder Maxon’s orders were quite clear. I am not to take my eyes off of these bombs until every one of them has been counted, tested, and loaded. If we want liberty prime to reach peak fighting efficiency we can’t afford to lose this stock pile. Dismissed knight.” I say turning my back on her. I can hear her teeth clench as she turns around and stomps away from me. 

 

Avery  
I think I’m going to get whiplash from everyone’s fucking attitudes around here. I made it back to the airport without incident heading up to see Maxon. I walk into the meeting hall only to see him already waiting for me and Jesus he looks pissed. I stand my ground as he walks up to me. “Elder.” I greet him bowing my head in respect. 

“Is there anything you wish to tell me knight?” Something about his tone has me on edge. I look at him confused and shrug my shoulders. I’m not sure I understand what you are talking about.” He growls pacing the room. “I find your ignorance awfully convenient!” I stare at him like hes out of his fucking mind because hes acting like it. 

“Are you accusing me of something Maxon?” I call back making him glare at me for the lack of respect I was showing. “Proctor Quinlan completed the decryption of the data you retrieved from the institute….” I shake my head at him still not knowing what hes getting at. 

“Okay? What does that have to do with me?” He finally stops pacing and crosses his arms over his broad chest. “A portion of his findings included a list of synths that went missing or escaped from their underground facility.” I raised an eyebrow allowing Maxon to continue with his tirade. “After careful analysis of the information we’ve discovered something…. Unprecedented…” I sighed staring at him none of this was making sense. “Get to the point Maxon.” I finally say, and he grits his teeth.

“Paladin Danse is a perfect match for one of the synths on that list.” My stomach drops, and I think my heart stops as I raise my head to look at Maxon who is gauging my reaction. “N-no You’re wrong! Danse can’t be a synth! He can’t! It’s impossible!” I scream at him. “I’m afraid not the evidence is quite damning. The data you brought back included a record of each subject’s DNA. We keep the same information on file for all of our soldiers. 

Paladin Danse’s DNA is a perfect match for a synth they called M7-97. To make matters worse hes gone AWOL. Disappeared without a trace, His sudden absence simply reinforces our conclusion that M7-97 and paladin Danse are one in the same.” I shivered as the reality of the situation hit me hard. That’s why he… why he made me leave, Haylen told him when she called she had to have known. What hurt the worst is that Danse didn’t mention it even after expressing how in love he was… He still didn’t tell me. Haylen knew but he couldn’t trust me enough to tell me.

“I’m finding it difficult to believe that he never confided in you then swore you to secrecy.” I looked up at him in shock. “Are you out of your fucking mind!?!?” I hiss at him watching as his face twists into a scowl. “You have some fucking nerve to accuse me of lying! After everything I’ve done for the brotherhood! I offered you the head of my only son on a fucking platter and you think you have a right to ask if I am betraying you?!” Maxon’s shoulders slump a bit as he takes this into consideration.

“hm. Your outburst leads me to believe that I’ve misjudged you. Which means I’ve decided to take you at your word. However that doesn’t absolve you of your duty. Danse is a synth. He represents everything we hate… a monstrosity of technology. Our mission in the commonwealth is clear. The institute and its creations need to be destroyed in order to preserve our future.” I freeze at that and stare at Maxon in shock. “Are you asking me to kill Danse?” Maxon only nods. 

I shiver as the weight of my duty comes crashing down hard. “I’m going to give you the most difficult order I have ever had to give… I am ordering you to hunt down Danse and execute him.” I feel my knees go weak before I know it I am falling Maxon catches me in his arms. “Listen, I’m not blind to the fact that Danse was your mentor, and this isn’t an easy burden to bear. But if we are to remain strong, we can’t afford to make exceptions even when it means executing one of our own.” He says the words softly his tone solemn as he helps me regain my balance. I don’t say anything only stare at the ground. 

“Go and find proctor Quinlan, hes been analyzing the data and should be able to provide you with a starting point.” I turn my back on him without another word and head out knowing that there is only one person who knows where Danse is right now. I head to Quinlan anyways just in case. “Oh, knight… I was told you were coming. Sorry about this business with Danse.” I glare at him, he could have kept this information to himself he could have protected Danse. “I don’t need apologies Quinlan! I need to know where he is.” I say clenching my fists at my side. 

“Yes, you are quite right. I’ve been pouring over Danse’s duty reports and unfortunately, I haven’t found any concrete information. As you’re well aware Danse had intimate knowledge of the commonwealth and I am afraid he could be seeking refuge anywhere.” He says, and I only frown they have no idea where to look for him. 

“What the hell is this crap about Danse being a synth!” I hear her voice and I almost lose it. I spin on my heels looking at her with murderous eyes. “I assume your outburst was a reference to some doubt regarding Danse’s identity. I can assure you my findings are quite accurate Scribe.” She regards Quinlan for a moment before turning to me. 

“So, he sets Danse up, and you knock him down…. Is that it?” She calls to me and I walk up to her grabbing her by her collar. “You better watch your tone when you talk to me.” I hiss at her watching as her eyes widen for a moment, but she doesn’t back down. “my tone? Who cares about protocol at a time like this!? I can’t believe that after everything Paladin Danse has done for you, you’re just going to turn your back on him like this! There’s been a mistake and we need to get to the bottom of it.” She cries as I push her back letting her go and stalking back towards Quinlan. “Scribe Haylen! You’re addressing a senior officer and you will show her the respect that she is due or so help me, ill have you brought up on charges! Now unless you have information we can use head back to the police station immediately!” he growls at her as she stares between the two of us in disbelief. “Of course. My apologies, proctor. 

I believe that I have some information that is relevant to the search.” She says looking between us. “Knight, if you’d accompany me to the Flight Deck, id like to show you the information I have firsthand.” Quinlan frowns at her sudden change of heart while I nod for her to lead the way. We walk together to the deck without saying a word. I can see her glaring over her shoulder at me the whole time until we finally reach the Deck. She turns to face me curiously. “Do you actually plan on killing Paladin Danse?” is she serious after everything we’ve been through. “Are you kidding me? Why does everyone seem to believe that I am so willing to kill Danse? I love him!” I cry as the tears finally roll down my cheeks. I bury my face in my hands trying to stop the sobs raking through my body.

“I am asking you not just as a member of the brotherhood. Please give him a chance let him explain himself. If you’re not convinced by what he says, or somehow hes become truly lost to us, then you do what you have to. “ I shake my head finally feeling tired from the emotions I am displaying. “I plan to hear him out, I need to know what is going on Haylen.” She steps closer placing a hand on my shoulder. That’s all I ask, I will just have to trust that when the time comes. you’ll do the right thing. Hes hiding in listening post bravo, its isolated and only he and I knew about it. Be careful.” I take the information and practically sprint out of there. I don’t bother to talk to anyone on my way out I just take a vertibird and find my way to the listening post. When I get there, the place looks empty, but I know hes here. I pull out my railway rifle as I take an elevator into the depths of the listening post. 

When I reach the bottom, there is a protection that I disable quickly managing to evade the rest of the security. Finally, I see a cave and I just know hes there. I go through the cave and finally I see him as he turns around. I feel my heart race in my chest. “Danse….” His name falls from my lips as a broken whisper. 

“Avery!?” Realization his him hard. “He sent you to come kill me? He wasn’t man enough to do it himself.” He swallowed hard, but I didn’t answer him. I only started walking towards him he flinched as I got closer. That didn’t stop me I ran to him finally wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. His arms wrapped around me tightly in return as he held me.

“Fuck… Avery, I am so sorry. I swear I had no idea… I didn’t until Haylen told me what Quinlan found out.” I nod into his chest burying my face into him and breathing in his scent trying to calm myself. “I know, Maxon he sent me to kill you… But we can get away, we can leave the brotherhood and the commonwealth behind. Please.” Danse looks at me with a sympathetic expression.

“Please Avery… We can’t make this harder than it needs to be. After what I told you what we said. I am not blind to the fact that you care about me. I know how difficult this is for you. I truly wish Maxon had sent someone else. But that doesn’t change a thing. I’m a synth, which means I need to be destroyed.” My heart is shattering in my chest at his words. My pull away from him taking a few steps back dropping to my knees. I just cover my face with my hands as more tears come. He steps closer kneeling down next to me and taking me in his arms once more. “Love, if you disobey your orders, you’re not only betraying Maxon, you’re betraying the brotherhood of steel and everything it stands for.

Synths cant be trusted, machines were never meant to make their own decisions… they need to be controlled. Technology has brought humanity to its knees… to the brink of extinction. I need to be the example not the exception.” I shake my head. “I wont do it… I cant! I love you Danse.” I say looking up at him trying to make him understand just how wrong he is. “I know sweetheart…I know. But I am ready to accept the consequences of my identity. Maxon has ordered you to execute me, and ill be damned if Im going to stand in your way.” I shake my head again. “there has to be another way… I wont do it Danse.” I cry placing both hands on his cheeks. “If you refuse to follow Maxson’s orders, you’re undermining everything the brotherhood stands for.” 

Finally he makes me angry. “Fuck the brotherhood! What matters to me is you.” He sighs placing a hand over mine. I already lost my family Danse… I cant loose a shot at one with you.” Danse looks at me in shock, he never considered that an option for him. 

“You… you’re right. How could I have been so blind? I should consider how my death might affect the people that care about me… Like you and Haylen. You’ve opened my eyes, I need to consider my next move.” I smile as he finally listens to my words. “Our next move… Whatever you do I am with you Danse… I love you.” He leans in placing a kiss against my lips. “our only option is to leave the commonwealth. 

So we can put this behind us and have a chance at a life of our own. Take my holotags to Maxon. After that meet me here and we can discuss how we are going to leave here. Let me walk you out love.” I nod allowing him to lift me to my feet. I loop my arm through his and lean against him almost fearing that he will disappear. Together we head to the elevator Danse pressing the button for it to take us up. We head outside only to freeze at the sight of Maxon standing before us. Danse tightens his grip on me for a moment.

“How dare you betray the brotherhood for this…this abomination!” Maxon growls at me. “It’s not her fault Maxon! Its mine!” Danse says trying to pull me behind him. “SILENCE!” I will deal with you in a moment. Knight… why is this abomination not destroyed.” I look up at Danse placing a hand on his shoulder, so he knows its alright. 

“I won’t do it… I am in love with Danse.” He glares at me. “Danse isn’t a man! It’s a machine… an automaton created by the institute. It wasn’t born from the womb of a loving mother, it was grown within the cold confines of a laboratory. Flesh is flesh, machine is machine. The two were never meant to intertwine. By attempting to play god, the institute has taken the sanctity of human life and corrupted it beyond measure.”

Danse laced his fingers through mine. “After all I’ve done for the brotherhood… all the blood I’ve spilled in our name, how can you say that about me!?” Danse demands as he steps forward. “You’re the physical embodiment of what we hate most. Technology that’s gone too far. Look around you, Danse. Look at the scorched earth the bones that litter the wasteland. Millions…perhaps even billion, died because science outpaced man’s restraint. You are just a bomb within the thousands waiting to lay waste to mankind.” I squeeze Danse’s hand tightly in mine.

“Can you even hear how insane you sound?!” I call to him trying to make him understand this is wrong… “Its true I was built in the confines of a laboratory… and that some of my memories aren’t my own. But when I saw my brothers dying at my feet, I felt sorrow. When I defeated an enemy of the brotherhood I felt pride. And when I heard your speech about saving the commonwealth I felt hope. Don’t you understand! I thought I was human Arthur. From the moment I was taken in by the brotherhood, I’ve done absolutely nothing to betray your trust and I never will.” Maxon shakes his head. “Its too late for that… My orders stand.” I glare at him as Danse holds me back from going over there and giving Maxon a piece of my mind. 

“Its alright… we did our best. You convinced me that I was wrong to be ashamed of my true identity and I thank you for it. Whatever you decide, know that I’m going to my grave with no anger and no regrets.” Danse says softly turning me so I can face him. 

“Touching, either you execute Danse, or I will, knight. The choice is yours.” I look to Danse and I know I don’t have it in me to kill him… I can’t. “After everything I have done for the brotherhood, you need to listen to me! You owe me that much.” Danse looks at me with painfilled eyes. “I’m listening.” Maxon mutters while I step forward. 

“If you want to kill Danse, you will have to kill me too. I won’t let you kill the man I love.” Maxon’s jaw drops. “Unbelievable. You’d be willing to sacrifice your career… for the sake of this machine? So, it appears we have reached an impasse… Since you refuse to allow him to die there is only a single alternative… Danse as far as I’m concerned, you’re dead. You were pursued and slain by this brotherhood knight and your remains were incinerated. From this day forward, you are forbidden to step foot on the prydwen or speak to anyone from the brotherhood of steel. Should you choose to ignore me know that you will be fired upon immediately. Do we… understand each other.” Danse reluctantly nods. 

“I do... thank you for believing in me Arthur.” Maxon turns his back to us.

“Don’t mistake my mercy for acceptance. The only reason you are still alive is because of her… I’m returning to the prydwen knight. Take some time to say your goodbyes and then I expect to see you there. We still have the institute to deal with.” He nods to me one last time before heading back to his vertibird.


	45. Family Ties

Avery  
Danse and I watch as Maxon leaves almost in shock… I can’t believe he allowed this. I can still feel those unnerving blue eyes on me as the vertibird takes off into the sky. I glare back at him defiantly because the only reason I joined the brotherhood was because of Danse. He looks down at us like he does to the rest of the world, but today we’ve won… we’ve defied him… We are still standing despite the fallout we will face with the brotherhood. I feel Danse squeeze my hand and I finally look away from Maxon to stare back at the man whose life I just saved. 

“It’s over…” He murmurs softly as he finally turns to look at me. “For now…” I say as we both look at each other uneasily. I know this victory will be short lived and the moments from here on out may just be my last. 

“Lady Avery.” I freeze as we both turn to see X6 standing there with Deacon right next to him, Danse pulls me behind him almost as if he senses my discomfort. Deacon whistles hes standing next to X6 in his courser uniform looking almost menacing behind his shades.

“Who would have thought the asshole synth hater would later turn out to be one of us?” He says a grin coming to his lips but there is nothing happy about that look. He looks almost as though hes gritting his teeth as he says it. I squeeze Danse’s hand because he shouldn’t be here not for this. 

“Father has been looking for you sweetheart. Running off without saying anything you know that makes us all nervous.” He says taking a step forward only to be stopped by X6. The way he calls me sweetheart makes my heart squeeze because it makes me wonder If the real Deacon is in there somewhere.

“I am doing as he asked, leave now Danse isn’t a part of this!” I say letting him go and stepping in front of him. My heart is racing because the last time I saw him we were still playing pretend… that he and I could have a family… that we could get away from Shaun and the institute. “I think hes every bit a part of this as we are… hes a run-away synth Avery, had a mind wipe done by the railroad.” Deacon says it emotionlessly. 

“We are coursers and it is our job to return runaways.” I shiver because there is an evident threat behind those words… He wants to kill Danse right now… “What the hell happened to you?” Danse calls out and I look at him and shake my head, I don’t want him to push Deacon to do something he will regret. 

“What happened? Nothing happened Danse… this is who I have always been just like this right here is the sweetest form of karma for being who you were. You’ve always been trying to take the only thing in the world that I have truly loved…. trying to take the mother of my children!” I feel my heart stop when he says that and the tears finally fall.

“Fuck you Deacon!” I scream at him as the tears come one after another until I cant see anymore. I fall back into the dirt floor as I cover my face with my hands. All I see is the small bodies lying so peacefully on the operating table. My heart is aching because this was my fault, I knew what would happen if I got pregnant… the same thing that always happened. But I had hope this time that Doctor Li could save my children… 

“Avery!” Danse is right next to me his large hands trying to pry my hands from my face. 

“Avery. Whatever father told you…. Theo and Zara they are very much alive…” He says it almost desperately and I have to wonder if hes trying to convince me or himself. “Haven’t you done enough?! Why can’t you just leave me alone!” I hiss as he takes a couple steps forward and Danse pulls a gun on him… but Deacon isn’t looking at him anymore…. Hes looking at me. He drops to his knees before me and throws his shades aside. 

“Look at me Ave… You know I’m not lying. You have to feel it too… I know you do... please, trust me…” I shake my head small sobs escaping my lips. 

“Are you out of your mind!? Why would I trust you? You betrayed me… Made me believe I was insane while father used me for his experiments… you used me and made me have your children… You destroyed the railroad for me… all of your friends… the people you were supposed to protect…. Was I worth it?” Deacon looked at the ground in front of him for a moment before looking up at me… “You will always be worth it… they are all just collateral, I would always choose you.” I sink my teeth into my tongue because I know I wasn’t worth all of their lives.

“Fuck you Deacon.” I say it again as I swallow back the bile and guilt of the lives he threw away.

“You can curse me all you want but I am here for you sweetheart. I need you to see that.” I want to hit him to hurt him and do something to make him pay for the lives that have been lost because of him. “I don’t know what I saw in you.” I whisper as run my fingers down his cheek.

“You saw a protector, that’s what I will be to you… To Theo and to Zara. Don’t give up on them Avery. “ I stare into forest colored eyes and my heart is aching in my chest. His words don’t sound as though they are fake… 

“Father showed me their corpses.” I say trying to make him understand the life we could have had was lost the moment he chose to lie to me. 

“He showed you synth prototypes.” I felt my heart squeeze in my chest until I couldn’t breathe, uncertainty began to fill my mind and all I could see was the young boy who father had named Shaun. I saw the boy he used to rouse a reaction in me to further his research.

“My children… my babies…” I whisper my hand going to my stomach as I look up at Deacon. 

“Our children are waiting for us. But if we are to get them back…. Father needs to die. Are you able to do that? Are you able to kill him in order to save Theo and Zara?” I don’t say anything because it could be a trap though I don’t think it is. But Shaun’s death had already had been long since decided, I only hoped Avianna and Nate would forgive me for destroying the product of their love for each other. I swallow hard and look straight into Deacon’s eyes. 

“I will do what is necessary.” My heart isn’t ready for that breath-taking smile that reaches his lips. “Father has spoken about needing a successor to the institute. I want you to become indispensable to him. Once you have we will have control of the institute and we can take him down once and for all.” Deacon offers me his hand and I take it making a pact with a man I know I shouldn’t trust. “I will be around if you have need of me. All you need but do is call.” He says and with a small kiss to my forehead he is pulling away and heading to pick up his shades. I watch as he walks over to X6 who nods his head at me. 

“Ma’am.” I only bow my head in acknowledgement. 

“Are you sure it is wise to trust him.” My heart kicks into double time at the sound of Danse’s voice behind me.

“I…I don’t know… but if there is any chance to save my children… I must take it.” I whisper leaning back against Danse who wraps his arms around me tightly.

“What the hell was that?” Nates voice breaks me from my thoughts and we look up to see him and MacCready staring at the spot where Deacon had just disappeared. 

“Nate…?” I question as Danse helps me stand, when he looks at me those eyes fill with pain and remorse… I wonder how much more he remembers. He takes one step then two and before I know it hes holding me as tightly as he can. I only lean against the embrace unable to stop him. “What did you see?” I question softly knowing full well he can hear me. He pulls away to stare at me with a solemn expression. 

“I can only apologize for his sins and try to be better than he was.” I lay my head on his shoulder and before I know it Danse and MacCready have wrapped their arms around me too. “We are with you Avery, no matter what path you choose. I feel content for the first time in a long time but I am unsure of what is to come.”   
We take a vertibird back to Good-neighbor while I try not to think about what Deacon said. “So you care to explain to me why I got a call from Maxon over my radio saying you had died on a mission with Avery?” Nate says as he looks at Danse who has his arm wrapped around my waist.

“Maxon and I had a falling out. It turns out… that I am a synth.” The both stare at him wide eyed. “I… I’m sorry Danse.” Nate says looking down at his hands.

“It’s alright. I just don’t know what to do with myself… the brotherhood was everything to me… now… now I don’t even know.” He says it with a sigh. I can’t help but feel a weight on my shoulders. Danse would still have his position in the brotherhood had I not given that drive to Proctor Quinlan. I feel Danse pull me closer to him, I smile at him softly knowing exactly how lost he feels. 

“So then the brotherhood is out, what do we do now… we still need to take down the institute. The railroad was destroyed by the institute I’m sure.” Nate says sounding slightly frustrated. “No… I don’t think so. There is one person she has to know… We can go talk to Doctor Amari I heard she was a part of the railroad.” MacCready says and I shiver. I don’t want to see Amari I don’t want to have to see Nate’s death again.

“You think some of them got away?” Nate says looking at MacCready who shrugs. “Well there is only one way to find out… Let’s go speak with this Amari and find out. Right now we need allies and lots of them.” Danse nods as we finally land. We step out and I see Hancock leaned against the door lighting up a cigarette. He looks up when he sees us arrive and his hand stalls as his eyes land on me. We hadn’t spoken in a really long time. 

“Hancock!” MacCready calls out to the ghoul who smiles at his friend. “Looks like he might have some thing to talk about with you.” Danse says looking at me softly. “Why don’t you and he go catch up… We will go meet with Amari and see if she has the information we need.” I look up at him and I feel a warmth spread throughout my chest. “Thank you.” He smiles at me before herding Nate and MacCready away from us.


End file.
